What Is White Clawing? This Dating Trend Is More Common Than You Think

Dating in 2020 is a minefield, y’all — between orbiting, breadcrumbing, Gatsbying, and good ol’ fashioned ghosting, there’s a multitude of potential hazards you could run into while trying to meet “The One” (or at least the one for right now). The latest term to wrap your mind around is White Clawing, and it’s probably something you’ve already practiced at least once. What is White Clawing? This trend refers to dating someone exclusively for their dazzling good looks — even if you find them to be dull AF. It’s named after the popular spiked seltzer brand, which many might agree seems enticing on the surface, but actually tastes pretty bland and flavorless once you start sipping it.

If you’ve White Clawed before, you’re not alone. In fact, a 2019 Plenty of Fish survey of 1,000 app users (age 18 to 50) revealed that over a quarter of singles have done this, and 42% of them know someone who’s done this.

According to Fran Greene, licensed clinical social worker and author of The Secret Rules of Flirting, White Clawing is incredibly common because being with someone who’s good looking makes you feel more attractive, especially if you’re even a tad insecure. It makes sense, too — because having a hot date to bring to your cousin’s wedding or your office holiday party can be quite the ego boost.

What is white clawing? You've probably done it before.
Shutterstock

“While I didn’t know the name for it at the time, I’ve definitely White Clawed before,” says Hannah, 26. “The worst was the time I dated this very handsome, extremely tall guy with a cute Australian accent for five months. He was so boring, we had nothing in common, and he made straight-up rude comments under the guise of being ‘funny.’ (He was not funny.) When I introduced him to my friends, though, they didn’t notice any of his bad traits… one kept whispering behind his back, ‘OMG, he’s so hot.'”

It’s also worth noting that there often tends to be an element of denial to White Clawing — at least in the initial stages of dating. Even though deep down you know you don’t actually like your date’s personality, you tell yourself you need to give them a real chance simply because you aren’t willing to surrender your enviable arm candy.

“Often, the person who is White Clawing actually tries to convince themselves they are into their date when they truly are not,” adds Greene.

Rebound relationships are meant to make you feel better after a breakup, and often don't last as a result.
Shutterstock

“It’s tough to admit this, but I White Clawed one guy for a full six months,” Rachel, 30, tells Elite Daily. “He was a successful entrepreneur and former college football player — but his sense of humor and idea of fun couldn’t have been further from mine, and all in all we wanted very different things out of life. It took unexpectedly meeting someone I actually clicked with to help me face the reality of the situation — I finally stopped kidding myself, realized I was into him for all the wrong reasons, and promptly ended it.”

While someone can resort to White Clawing for any number of reasons depending on their unique circumstances, Greene notes that it’s a particularly common practice among daters who feel more secure when they’re with someone than they do when they’re single. If they’re eager to avoid being alone, they might be more likely more willing or able to overlook the fact that someone isn’t actually a good match for them simply because they’re a whole snack. Greene also notes that White Clawing is common after a breakup that triggered certain insecurities.

“Dating someone who looks good confirms to the person who’s been dumped that there is hope that someone attractive will be attracted to them,” she explains.

Clearly, White Clawing is super common, but is it ethical to keep dating someone that you don’t actually have the potential for a real connection with beyond physical attraction? According to Greene, it all comes down to being vocal about your intentions to avoid leading your date on. Letting them know from the get-go that you’re only interested in casual dating allows you to ensure you’re on the same page. If you’re not, and they’re seeking a serious relationship with future potential, you can prevent minimize hurt feelings by compassionately ending it and moving on.

“Anytime you deceive someone to serve your own needs, it’s unfair to the other person,” adds Greene.

What is white clawing? Dating someone purely because they're physically attractive,, even if you hate their personality.
Shutterstock

Beyond thinking about the other person’s emotional well-being, Greene also recommends considering your own. Is White Clawing fulfilling all of your needs, or are you “settling” for a small fragment of what you’re truly looking for?

“If finding the love of your life is your goal, you will waste precious time by focusing on someone’s looks and not what makes a relationship work for a life together,” she explains. “As time goes on, the thrill of the good looks will disappear and the lack of connection will shine through — and disappointment will rear its ugly head. You can only deny your true feelings for so long.”

There isn’t necessarily anything wrong with White Clawing — between two consenting individuals, that is. Making it clear that you’re only interested in a physical relationship gives your date the opportunity to assess their own desires and feelings, so you can ensure that your connection is mutually fulfilling. However, if you know deep down that you actually want more than White Clawing can offer you, or that your date does, then remember this: You’re not doing either of you any favors by pursuing a relationship that’s likely going nowhere. It’s time to ask yourself: Is a White Claw going to quench your thirst? Or, are you craving something a little more complex?

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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8 Types Of Guys Women Avoid

You may not realize it, but your behavior on a single date could be what’s keeping you from landing another.

Women are often frustrated by men who have no idea how to treat them properly, and once they’ve dealt with one or two of these guys, they often make mental notes to avoid similar ones in the future.

Even if you’re not the worst of the worst, exhibiting pretty unpleasant traits will get you written off from the get-go. Want to boost your chances in the dating game? Here are eight types of guy you should try not to be (and how to fix things if the description sounds a little too familiar).

1. Arguers

Why? Talking to them is an exhausting chore

Under the right circumstances, arguing can be fun for everyone involved. That’s the premise of debate clubs, more or less, but it can happen outside of a structured scenario, too. A good conversation with intense back-and-forth and logical pirouettes can leave both parties impressed with the other’s intellect, even if they never reach an agreement.

However, arguing is only fun if both people are on the same page, and there are tons of guys out there who missed the memo. If your preferred mode of flirtation is correcting women about stuff, challenging them to debates and asking them to prove you wrong, you’re just pissing them off.

How to Fix It: Don’t argue with a woman unless you know her well enough to know she’s up for the debate. That also means refraining from making your entire social media personality “guy who picks fights with women in the comments.” Nobody likes that guy, and he’s definitely single.

2. Braggarts

Why? They’re too self-obsessed to treat anyone else with respect

Want to guarantee you’ll never get a second date? Spend the whole first date bragging about yourself. That might sound like a silly proposition, but it’s something that guys manage to pull off all too often. Men are often taught that the way to woo women is to impress them, leaving them to talk about how awesome they think they are.

Problem is, sitting there while someone shouts about their list of accomplishments really boring. Women can often spot these guys a mile away, but if they mistakenly end up on a date with one, it won’t lead to a second one (and it might even get cancelled mid-date).

How to Fix It: So you’ve got lots to be proud of — that’s awesome! But even more impressive than that is asking them questions, too. A guy with not much going on who makes his date feel special will have better luck nine times out of ten than a super-successful guy who makes his date feel invisible.

3. Mopers

Why? They’re too focused on their own problems to help you with yours

Lots of shy guys tell themselves that they’re better than the braggarts, only to go and make the exact same mistake — dominating the conversation. Just because you’re not football-captain material doesn’t mean you can’t still end up making the other person feel invisible. Yes, it gets boring listening to a guy who can’t stop being self-deprecating.

Women might initially fall for mopers thinking that they’re more sensitive than their macho peers, only to discover that having to listen to a sad-sack complain all the time isn’t any better than listening to a bodybuilder brag about his personal bests all the time. If every conversation comes back to your feelings, that’s going to get old real soon.

How to Fix It: Having feelings, and being able to express them, is a great thing. But you need to leave room in the conversation for moments of levity, too — and if you don’t feel up for supplying them, maybe you should let her do it.

4. Creeps

Why? They’re too obsessed with sex to see her as a full person

Sex talk too early on on a date is almost certainly going to creep a woman out. Even women with high sex drives are usually on high alert for guys who can’t pretend to be a gentleman for even one date, let alone a few minutes of conversation on a dating app.

The reality of the situation is, the majority of women have a host of bad experiences with being sexually objectified (or worse) by gross and pervy guys by their 20s, and if you do something to remind them of those creeps, you’re quickly going to get classified as one, too.

How to Fix It: So you’re horny — big whoop. Hold your tongue in the early going until your crush shows you how she wants to talk about sex. And if she doesn’t? Well, maybe that’s a sign that she doesn’t want to talk about sex with you, pal.

5. Liars

Why? If they’ll lie about small things, what won’t they lie about?

Lying is pretty common practice in human communication, but if you don’t know how to differentiate between little white lies done in the name of politeness and more dangerous lies done to cover up unpleasant realities, you’re going to start burning bridges pretty quickly.

It might be tempting to lie to make yourself seem more impressive, or to make certain interactions simpler, but starting a pattern of lies in a dating context is likely to lead to a bad outcome sooner or later once your untruths start to come to light.

How to Fix It: Come to terms with what you’re lying about. Are you ashamed? Are you afraid? Are you jealous? Being honest might feel scary in the short term, but if you can get over the hurdle of admitting something you’re a little bit ashamed of, you’ll feel a lot stronger in the long run.

6. Jerks

Why? It’s only a matter of time before the cruelty comes out

Lots of guys think they’re alpha males, when they’re actually just bullies. If your stock in trade is throwing your weight around, making sure other people know how big and bad you are, you’re going to earn a reputation as a jerk among people of all genders. As a result, women might be especially unwilling to give you the time of day.

Sure, it can be freeing to dispense with social niceties and “tell it like it is,” but if you get in a pattern of being cruel to other people, women will start avoiding you, guaranteed.

How to Fix It: You need to recognize that being aggressive isn’t the desirable trait that you were taught it was. It might feel strange to be polite, deferential and let other people take the spotlight, but the emotional maturity that comes with being flexible, willing to compromise and comfortable in your skin is dead sexy, and women will see that.

7. Stalkers

Why? Guys who can’t take no for an answer are terrifying

Lots of guys grow up thinking that persistence is a sexy quality, or at least a valuable and desirable one. And yes, refusing to settle for failure can be great in lots of ways — persistent guys might be more likely to get a job, a promotion or to make significant gains in areas of personal growth or success.

But persistence in a romantic context is rarely likely to lead to success. If she says she’s not interested but you still keep on messaging her, it’s more likely to lead to you being labeled creepy, dangerous or worse.

Ignoring signals that a woman isn’t interested in you and pursuing her nonetheless isn’t romantic, it’s stalking. And if you can’t take “no” for an answer, that’s a really bad sign. How can any woman trust a guy who’s going to ignore her desires and decide what he wants is more important?

How to Fix It: Learning to back off and accept that you can’t always get what you want might mean you lose out on someone you’re crazy about right now, but that maturity will mean you’ll have a much better shot with your future crushes.

8. Sexists

Why? Would you date someone who thought of you as sub-human?

Some guys don’t realize that they hate women. They spend their lives talking to other men, watching movies about men made by men, reading books and articles by men, and only find women interesting when they need a date or a hookup.

If you don’t respect women, women will be able to tell. They’ll hear the jokes you tell, they’ll see the company you keep, they’ll read your comments. And they’ll avoid you like the plague.

How to Fix It: It’s not easy to stop being a sexist necessarily, but it is possible. Start by doing some soul-searching — try to recognize why you don’t respect women as much as men. Consider therapy. Talk to the women in your life about this. Once you start down that path, you’ll realize that fewer and fewer of them want to avoid you.

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Zoe – Chapter 2 – The Real Deal

So, I know I have been creating all of this drama at the salon with who’s going to be my number 1. I’ve done this my whole life. I could walk the mall with my friend Spinner, and we always had to choose our favorite girl that we saw that day.

That was 15 years ago, but I’ve always carried that with me. I’ve cut all of the bad drama agents from my life that have been so well documented in this blog. But at the salon I have always had a top 10, a top 5 and a number 1.

It’s silly I know, but when you have no drama or pain in your life you sometimes create little fun games for things to make the job you’re in more interesting.

If you’ve been following phicklephilly, you’ll know that I’m always searching for my number 1.

It means nothing, but it keeps my active mind amused. I’ve had so many, and they come and go for different reasons. (All ridiculous but fun)

Michelle once said I only pick my top 10 because they are the prettiest girls that come in the salon. (In the beginning, she was absolutely right) but now my little game is about attendance and attentiveness. Kita turned into something else, Delaney failed, and Anastasia, has hope.

But I think my new list will include just great people I really like and have fun talking to.

But I think about these things.

I no longer am sitting in a cubicle, wearing a silly suit and tie, and going to meetings. I no longer sell products and services that have zero value to unwitting clients. I offer real solutions to customers and make them happy.

It’s a brand new day to be out of the rat race and it is exciting.

Most people buy into the American dream and do what we all did. Go to college, become a debtor, (prisoner/slave) get an internship for little money. Pay back your student loans for decades. Work you’re ass off for some shitty company with shitty managers and be stressed out all of the time to earn a decent paycheck. All the while being exhausted working on your next relationship hoping you can find a good mate to marry, settle down with, and/or marry and have a kid with.

The American dream.

Total bullshit.

But… it’s what we’ve been taught, so that’s what we did, and continue to do.

That lie is still alive today.

I see today that many people don’t like to work.

Work is the foundation of human existence.

If you hate what you’re doing or the people you work with, quit. Go do something else. Everybody thinks they need to make a bunch of money.

We’ve all been taught that Louie Vitton bags, Coach bags and Mercedes Benz and a big house and everything else are signs of success. All lies.

None of it will make you happy in your heart.

I’ve had it all and none of it made me happy.

It’s all bullshit.

You know what’s important?

Your health.

Good people and/or family in your life.

Having something to do everyday that makes you happy and helps others.

To love and be loved. (Hard one)

Something to look forward to every day.

Forgive everyone. Why should you drink the poison hoping your enemies die? They don’t care. Let it go. No one should live rent free in your head.

Ever.

Life is too short.

Zoe is a lovely girl.

She’s smart, sweet and has a great sense of humor.

I am always playing my “Who’s my new number one game” with myself.

It’s fun, because I have no drama from any crazies in my life anymore but I enjoy picking the best of the best in every aspect of my life for fun.

But after all of the girls that have come through here, Zoe has been consistent.

I’ll tell you why she’s the apex of this little exercise.

Zoe comes in on a consistent basis.

She’s always sweet and fun to be around.

I’ve upsold her to the premium package and she deserves it.

She listens to my stories and genuinely loves them.

She laughs at all of my jokes.

She always asks what’s going on with me and wants to hear any new crazy stories I have.

No one else cares what’s going on with this Leo.

She’s a beautiful, sweet woman, that is as attractive as her wonderful disposition and personality.

I decided that after all of this time she went from Top 10, to Top 5 to Number 1.

We both know it’s all a silly game, but it holds a certain weight.

Zoe, has been going to Temple University for two years and working as a server at a local watering hole. But recently she got an internship at a corporation that works with government, politics and non profits.

I’m proud of her and she’s making her way.

I decided that i wanted to do something for her, because I consider her a part of our businesses’ core family. (Even Achilles likes her, so that’s good, because he’s a curmudgeon)

When she would come in I would greet her as Top 5.

Zoe giggled (Love her giggle) and would be happy she was special.

Then I greeted her as Top 3.

Finally, after all of the failings of all of my other candidates, I decided that sweet Zoe should be my number 1.

It’s a meaningless title, but it means something to me. (And hopefully to her, because she’s clearly my favorite.)

Zoe is actually flattered (I think) by the title and I really mean it because she’s just so darn nice.)

I embrace this and decide to do what I’ve always done for my Number 1’s (Even though they haven’t deserved it, but again it’s all about me) I get Zoe her favorite tanning lotion. We don’t even carry it anymore but I need to get the best for my Number 1.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

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Don’t Have A Thigh Gap? You’d Be Surprised What Guys Think About That

I know women. They’ve definitely felt insecure about almost every body part they have. Maybe you’re not the thinnest girl. So, when I see pictures on the internet, TV, ads…etc. with #thighgap, it can be a little discouraging. We all know we should never compare ourselves to others, but it’s hard sometimes. We are each our toughest critic. The thing is, you’d be surprised to know what guys really think about your lack of thigh gap. So, don’t be too hard on your self, ladies!

Some guys don’t like thigh gaps.

1

Thigh gaps are dumb. Girls should have thick legs

A lot of guys don’t even notice thigh gaps.

2

Dear girls,
We don't care if you have a thigh gap. Half of us don't even pay attention to that.
Sincerely,
All Men

 

They notice other things!

3

Ladies: guys worry more about the space between your ears than the space between your thighs.

 

4

Im a guy. I don't need a thigh gap girl. I need an eater, a reader, a lover. Screw society, just be yourself.

 

They LOVE confidence.

5

I want a girl who ain't worried about a thigh gap.
In fact, I like the way you don't give a shit about that.

 

The might make some weird comparisons.

6

Thigh gaps are weird. It's like having chicken legs.

 

7

Thigh gaps are for flamingos. 
Eat a cupcake,
 you'll be fine.

 

There are guys that pay attention…

8

Yup. Sometimes I even find too much of a thigh gap ugly. Fit girls don't have thigh gaps all the time, and their legs are freaking amazing.

 

But most of them are looking for what they like, not what they don’t like.

9

I won't date her because she doesn't have a thigh gap. 
Said no guy ever!

 

Guy’s think we’re crazy for obsessing about this.

10

I can't believe girls are trying to get thigh gaps. As a man, I love thick thighs!

 

Even if you don’t look like a Victoria’s Secret model, you are still definitely someone’s type.

11

I love girls with a little meat and natural curves. Think thighs, a little muffin top is Is so sexy. None of those boney skinny girls for this guy.

 

12

My girlfriend is a plus sized girl. I think she's WAY more sexy than any girl with a "thigh gap."

 

You know what guys do care about? Whether they can touch your thighs.

13

I like two thick thighs. I don't care if there is a thigh gap or not. I just don't like super bony legs I can cup my hands around.

 

14

Girls, We don't care if your thighs touch or not... We just want to be in between them.

 

15

I love legs, I dont care how thick the thighs are as long as you can wrap them around me while making love...

 

16

I need my woman's thighs to rub together so much they start a fire

 

There’s lots of love for girls who will never get that thigh gap.

17

Thick thighs save lives

 

18

Thigh gaps are overrated, give me a thick girl!

 

Final thoughts:

19

Personally, I don't care if any of you have a thigh gap or not. I look at eyes, smile, sense of humor, hair and of course -the girl's ability to love me, not sexually but physically

 There you have it, ladies!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly the BOOK on Amazon!

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Tips For Men: Up Your Chances Of Hooking Up

When we heard our friends at AskMen.com wrote a book on how to get women from the bar to the bedroom, we were convinced the “tips” were going to be wild ways to get a lady drunk. However, we found “The 11 Rules For Picking Up And Pleasuring Women” to be, well, kind of sweet. From “Express Yourself” to “Keep Her Satisfied,” the tips seemed more focused on connecting and mutual satisfaction than just an ego-fueled crotch conquest. Go figure! They should consider changing their name to AskGentlemen.com.

Anyway, while those goals are inspirationally high falutin’, here are some quick, tangible, girl-approved ways a man can up his chances of wooing us from the bar to the bedroom.

1. Pet

Wear the world’s softest sweater so I can’t stop touching you. Who doesn’t want to cover their body in cashmere? If you’re the one wearing it, you’re in a good position to get groped.

2. Invest

Offer to buy me a drink. I know I’m an independent woman who can get herself anything she wants, but asking what I want at the bar is the first step to getting us to tell each other what we both want once we leave.

3. Not Made For Walkin’

Wear awesome shoes. They don’t have to be Ferragamos or even collectible Air Jordans, they just have to match your outfit and look sharp. Shoes say A LOT about a person, a fact that has seemed to escape many men. Kicks that are worn out, orthopedic looking (like all white or all black sneakers with the same color rubber soles), or just a lame knock off of a trend, ruin my chances of wanting to kick it with you. Once, a guy who was way to good looking to be hitting on me actually was and I couldn’t believe my luck! That is until I spotted his cream grandpa-looking shoes. Call me shallow, but all of a sudden his dimples and charm disappeared and I lost my attraction to him. It was not my proudest moment, but it can be easily avoided.

4. Hand Check

Don’t get grabby in public, because I’ll pull back. Even if I think I might want your hand up my skirt, I’m a lady! I can’t go flashing my caboose to the world every time someone wants to do me. I’m not Lindsay Lohan, so respect my privacy and save the raunchiness for behind closed doors. Remember, first you have to get me there.

5. Flattery

If you like what you see and hear, then compliment me. It doesn’t have to be about my looks, that’s for sure. Honestly, it sounds cheesy when someone tells me I have nice eyes, but a general, and less cliche signal to let me know you’re interested helps me relax. If I know you’re picking up what I’m putting down, I feel like I can open up with my mouth first, and then my legs maybe next.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

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Sun Stories: Tis’ The Season

The salon is insane. We’re busier then we’ve ever been.

Tis’ the season. It’s Spring and everybody needs to get tan. Most people think that the busy season would be the Winter. It’s cold, dark and Seasonal Affective Disorder kicks in for most of us here in Philly.

But that simply isn’t true.

Sure we have our regulars and the folks that come in to prepare for winter vacations and SAD, but Spring is our Christmas fourth quarter at our tanning salon.

People going on vacation, prom, formals, weddings, formals, and just getting your base on for the summer are in high demand. We have 140 people roll through here a day on our 10 sun beds and one spray tan unit.

Sun Myst around the corner is a failure. Old city Tans died a year ago. Hollywood Tans vanished years ago. We’re the last and best tanning salon left in Philadelphia with the best most modern equipment and best pricing.

But… for some reason, this year I have the greatest part-time staff ever.

I’ve worked my butt off month after month maintaining this salon’s excellence with my partner Achilles. We’ve been through a lot and if you’ve been reading phicklephilly you know we’ve been through the ringer with staffing.

Hell, that’s why I came here in the first place. I did his advertising when I worked at the now failed Philly Weekly. I was looking for a fun part-time gig because I like to work. I saw the lithe clients and thought it’d be fun.

I was right.

Achilles was always complaining about his staff. But you get what you get for the price you pay in the hospitality business. Staffing was the bane of his existence until I came along.

I worked a lot of shifts and brought the salon to its current level like any job I’ve had in the past.

Excellence.

That’s all I can do.

If you’re going to do a job, do your best. Period.

I’ve spent 30 years in the rat race and mired in corporate America and it sucks. Sure the money’s there…but what a price we all pay.

I see bright-eyed college girls tanning for their events and then I see them a year later pale and broken in a corporate job. $50,000 in college debt starting their lives in some shitty job.

So sad.

Not the vibrant students I met a year ago.

Shit. I was in L.A. working as a short order cook and playing in a band when I was 20.

My own daughter Lorelei doesn’t even want any part of collegian life. She’s lived with me here in Rittenhouse for the last three years and has a great job in the restaurant business. She’s kicked it since high school. She’s been promoted three times since then and is killing it in the industry. That and being in a solid relationship for the last five years with her boyfriend. I’m a huge friend of this boy. He’s a good man.

Baby’s doing well.

 

My staff is amazing this season. Amelia and Eileen. I couldn’t have dreamed better employees.

Amelia with her smarts and charm. Her work ethic simply lights me up. She’s so forward thinking and industrious at 24 yrs old. When I work with her I feel like shess an extension of me in the salon. The things I’m dealing with… laundry, customers, maintenance, new intakes, cleaning… Amelia’s on it. When I work with her it’s like working with a better,  version of myself.

I’ve worked in corporate America my whole life. I’m a deadly sales guy. I’ve done every job and I’ve murdered it.

But the biggest problem I have always faced was being a sales manager.

I’m a salesman.

Like my mother’s father before me. I live to go out and sell.

I know what makes a good salesman.

I’ll correct that in a minute…

A good salesman serves his clients with quality products that meet their needs.

To me that’s a rep.

A great salesman is a guy that gets off on closing the deal while he’s meeting the needs of his clients desires but still meeting their needs.

I was a financial broker in the late 90’s and early 2000’s.  I remember my boss asking us why we all got licensed to sell brokerage. It was during the Clinton administration and the economy was booming. It was a great spot to be in. (I like Bill, fucker that he is, but he had nothing to do with it. It was just the cyclical scale of commerce in the world and Clinton lucked out. Don’t fool yourself America.)

He said it was so we could make a lot of money.

Every guy in the room agreed with him.

I liked my boss but I silently disagreed.

I knew from my 20 years of selling VCRs,TV’s, liquor, and whatever else he was wrong.

Sales isn’t about money.

It’s about getting off on closing a deal and not about making money. It’s about providing a quality service to your client and building a relationship with them.  Providing long term wealth for their family was paramount.

The wealth you amass is not about making that money. It’s incidental to the hard work you did to provide your client with a valuable service.

That was always my goal.

I always knew, that if I did good honest work by my customer the reward would come, and it always did… automatically.

I made thousands and thousand of dollars at every job I ever I did.

Sadly, my poor life choices sucked my efforts from me.

An ex-wife I had to pay child support to for 15 years, and all of the other bills that come with wealth and possessions.

But I never minded. I paid my bills and I soldiered forward.

I love to work and I love all of the good people in my life.

Sure I worried about money, but we ALL do. That’s just part of life.

But I always knew I could make more. I can always generate more revenue. That’s what I do.

My father retired at 62.

He did zero after that.

I would have loved to seen my dad working in a deli, or a wine store or an antique store. He would have killed in any of these businesses.

Pablo Picasso was found dead at 92 working on a sculpture.

I don’t want to be that old, (I’m sure everything hurt by then!) But I want to be that.

I’m 58 years old. If I get 20 more trips around the sun I’ll consider myself blessed, but I’m cool with less. (Who gives a shit. Phicklephilly lives forever online!)

This piece was originally supposed to be Chapeter 7 for Eileen, but we’ll get to her in a second.

I never know when the blood is going to gush good emotions.

I’m going to write about Eileen and Amelia because as I said they are the best girls I’ve ever employed at our salon.

I’m so proud of both of them and cherish their dedication and friendship.

We’ve obviously got new Sun Stories to tell… so stay tuned.

Thank you!

 

Thanks. I hope this was helpful. I’d like to hear your thoughts on this piece.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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What Are Some Good First Date Questions To Get To Know Someone?

Mascara. Check! Deo. Check! Branded jacket. Check! High heels. Check! Yes, we all know first impression is the last impression and you would not leave a single stone unturned to make that impression, especially if it’s a first date. But there is much more to us beyond the clothes and make-up and if you can unveil a person on the first date – personality, humor, fears et al – then you know you got another date coming up and it’s a great feeling. What do you need to do to know a person better on the first date? Simple! Just ask the right first date questions. Yep, don’t worry about that. We are going to help you.

How Do You Get To Know Someone On A Date?

On first dates, both of you are cautious and choose your words very carefully. Of course, you follow all the first dating etiquette rules. You try to portray your best self in front of each other. But in trying to be perfect you miss out on all the fun of getting to know each other.

Getting to know someone on the first date isn’t an easy task as you don’t want to come off as clingy. Asking too many questions will scare them away. If you want to know someone on the first date itself, show them the real you. The rest will follow. Getting to know someone works both ways, you need to show that person your true self then the other person will also put his/her guard down. When they see that you are honest and genuine, it fetches you brownie points and they start opening up to you as well.

12 Good Questions To Get To Know Someone On A First Date

So, how do you get to know someone better on a first date? Whether its an online or an offline date, starting a conversation on a first date does require some skill. And once you start a conversation, you need to make the best out of it – in knowing the other person as well as making a great first impression. Here are different types of questions that you can ask on your first date to get to know someone better.

Funny First Date Questions

Girls love men who make them laugh. They remember your jokes even when you’re not with them. Men love to share a laugh too! Most celebrities, when asked what made them think that their partner is “the one”, they answered that, “He makes me laugh.” Here are some funny first date questions.

1. What is the weirdest thing you have ever done?

Sharing your weird stories with each other also helps in breaking the ice. You both feel more comfortable when you get past the weird and embarrassing things you’ve done. You can talk about embarrassing stuff like dancing in a public elevator and the door opening to a bunch of people or drunk dialing your ex only to find out you called your dad instead. The best part is that you both get to know the real you.

2. What’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were bored?

When we are bored, we get the craziest of ideas and go forward with it. One of my friends cut off her hair just because she was bored. Needless to say the cut she gave herself was rather trendy. And another actually packed his bags and took a train to a random location because boredom was killing him. This is a great conversation starter. Because you will know if the person you just met gets the best ideas out of boredom or just believes boredom and a good snooze go hand in hand.

3. What is the cheesiest pickup line someone has used on you?

“Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend/boyfriend.”
Girls hate cheesy pickup lines, especially on first dates. But it is something they remember to share with their friends and laugh at. Talking about cheesy pickup lines like these can get you both talking about your worst dates. Sharing worst first date experiences can be good fun. Yes, you can go ahead and talk about the girl whose false eyelashes came off or the guy who wasn’t willing to pay the bill on a date.

Deep First Date Questions

When you really connect with someone and it’s going well, don’t feel afraid not to ask deep meaningful questions. These meaningful questions will show them that you care. Here are some deep first date questions.

4. Which parent is closer to you and why?

Ask some deep first date questions

Now this question is a simple yet effective way to know whether your date has any ‘daddy issues’. Knowing which parent is closer to your date will help you gain brownie points when you butter them up in future. Which parent she’s closer to will also help you know about her personality. For example if her father is closer to her, it means that she is pampered more by her family. If the mother is closer, it means that she could be having some daddy issues.

5. Have you ever felt that everyone around you is a stranger?

There are a thousand instances when we’ve felt this way but might have never shared it with anyone else. He/she might have many friends but not many of them may know the ‘real’ them. Asking this question will show them that you care. For example you can begin with talking about your best friend getting into a relationship and you began feeling like a stranger in their life or talk about how your friends are so involved in their lives that they seem like strangers to you at times.

Moreover, you’ll get into their inner circle.

6. Which is your biggest regret in life?

We all have regrets and your date could have them too. Asking about regrets may open a can of worms or may make them open up to you. Asking about their regrets will get them talking about the regrets in their past relationships, family matters, friendship, etc. They will begin to confide in you and which will give you pointers for your future dates with them.

Awkward First Date Questions

If you didn’t know yet, there’s a thing such as awkward first date questions. Awkward first date questions are usually asked when you pick a time to make your partner feel awkward and they end up telling the truth because their mind can’t think fast. This is a sneaky way of getting to know someone but is still effective because most of the time they spurt out the truth.

7. So, am I the same kind of person you thought I would be?

Questions for first date
This is an easy and smooth way to ask about how you performed in the date. It’s like a sugar coated way of asking for your feedback. You’ll be able to know from their reaction to the question. For example, if the person thinks too much to answer, you’ll be able to catch them in a lie. However, if that person answers instantly with a smile, higher are the chances that the date went well.

8. Why are you still single?

This question will catch them in the moment and there is a chance that it could offend them a bit. If the person gets offended, you can cover it up by saying that they are attractive, smart and any person would be lucky to have them, which is why you asked the question. This will cool them down and they will feel a bit flattered as well. After the awkward phase passes, they might even open up about their past which will help you understand them better.

9. Do you think that monogamy is possible in the 21st century?

If you are someone who is looking for exclusivity in a relationship, this question will get you your answers. Your date might feel a bit weird and awkward about you being so upfront on the first date itself, but isn’t the first date the basis of future dates? It’s better to clear things out on the first date itself instead of finding out that the entire thing was a waste of time and emotions and this question will do exactly that

Flirty First Date Questions

If the date is really going well and you both feel compatible, there’s no harm in teasing each other with some harmless flirting. Only asking deep philosophical questions may bore them to death and asking some flirty first date questions could keep them on their toes.

10. Who is hotter, your ex or me?

Flirty questions for your date

Did you just think of all the flirting mistakes you have made in the past? Well, a bit of harmless flirting on a first date isn’t too bad. It depends on the kind of person you’re dating. However, your date won’t mind you asking about who is hotter. If she/he teases you back saying that they want to keep it a secret or build the suspense, it means that they too want to play along. It also helps in building more curiosity and sexual tension between the two.

11. According to you, what is the biggest turn on?

If they weren’t thinking about anything sexual with you, this will make them think of you sexually. Ask them what their biggest turn-on is with a little touch of the hand and it will instantly spice up the chemistry between the two of you. When they will start answering your question, they will think about the biggest turn-ons and will possibly start imagining themselves being sexual with you. This is a great way of putting yourself into their head.

12. If you spent the entire day with me, what would you do?

This flirtatious question will make their heart stop for a second and make them think of a possible future. It will also help you analyse how well the date is going. If they talk about a friendly activity like going to a movie, shopping or going to a café, it means that he or she still sees you as a friend or an acquaintance. If she/he describes something more intimate, like something ending into something more intimate like a candle light dinner or a dinner date at their place, it means that the date was a success.

Even a day playing video games or watching a movie at their place is an intimate activity for some.

For many people, second dates turn out better than their first. This is because first dates are more about breaking the ice and getting past all that awkwardness. If your date asks you on the second date, Voila! You did it. Getting to know someone isn’t a one-date job. However, these first date questions will give you pointers for the future dates with them and you’ll get to know them more.

 

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