Amelia – Chapter 6 – Square 1682 – Part 1

So the last few Mondays Amelia and I have been getting killed at the salon and finding repose at Square 1682 pounding drinks. Roman’s on point, plying us with whiskey and chardonnay for a $5.50 check. (See: Roman – Rock n’ Roll Bartender)

He’s always tipped handsomely to match his face. It’s the perfect place for me to drink.

Amelia loves it, because it gives us a night to decompress and get free drinks. I’m happy that for the first time I can hang with my staff.

We’re hanging at the bar and doing our thing, but some older woman starts to talk to Amelia.

This blonde is middle aged and puffy, and waiting to meet her friends upstairs at the hotel. They’re clearly not coming down to meet her and she,s about to attach herself to Amelia.

She’s plowing four fingers of Crown Club in a rock glass.

She somehow inserts herself into our conversation like any lonely drunk.

She attacks Amelia with all of her tales of wind sailing and her activities and kids. It’s like an awful Tinder profile come to life.

I feel for my comrade who’s being very nice because she’s awesome.

This Michelin man in a dress is awful. She’s going on about how she hates young women who are in shape. (Amelia) How she hates how men don’t understand her or how we can lose weight faster than women.

It’s an awful insertion, and the poor lonely middle-aged woman doesn’t know she’s invaded my time with my friend and coworker. I sit quietly and think this is the thing that destroyed her marriage

This is why she’s alone, but I still feel sad for her, as annoying as she is stealing my time with Amelia.

Amelia in the meantime has created a story with this woman that she is my daughter and that I’m her dad.

I find this out about half way between the exchange.

I love exotic fiction and role playing, and admire my coworker for coming up with a creative situation.

Eileen is a cute child. But Amelia is an elegant friend. I understand clearly from 40 years of being in corporate life, but I feel so close to Amelia.

Not the older man preying upon the young girl.

Nothing like that.

I work with her everyday. I look forward to seeing her when Monday arrives. Amelia has a certain magic that radiates her from her every day.

We reveal everything that’s going with us with our romantic lives and it’s just easy and automatic.

It always feels safe, and there’s no judgement. I know Amelia and admire who she is and I feel safe in who I am with her.

I never expected this.

I never expected that it would feel this much fun!

 

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Maria – Chapter 9 – A Drink with my Muse

I’m working at Mac mart and killing it. I love working there. It’s been an interesting transition from the tanning salon. I committed myself to the salon for two and a half years hoping some kind of equity position but that never materialized.

I”ve been killing it and I’m feeling the over load. My daughter and my new boss has warned me of working too much , but I love to stay busy.

But by working more at Mac Mart and less at the salon I actually have time off.  Something I haven’t had for 2 years. It’s odd for me to be free to do nothing at 5pm at night.

My friends ask me why I haven’t been at happy hour and I tell them I haven’t seen them at the bank.

It’s a joke but it actually rings true.

I’s nice to see $6,700 in your checking account.

But I’ve given up my shifts at the salon and relinquished them to the girls I’ve hired. I could take them but the ladies need them and I have the shifts at Mac Mart.

But with these shifts, there are days when I work all day and I finished at 5pm.

I’m not used to this. For the last 2 year I’ve been locked into 8pm at night.

I can actually go to an event and have someone work for me during my shift.

Our season is over and I’m down to one girl a night and I can focus on Mac Mart.

So I actually end my Thursday at Mac Mart at 5pm knowing I can go to Square 1682 because there’s and event there.

It’s a beach themed event. They have all of these drink specials at the outside tables. My favorite bartender on Earth is there. (Roman – Rock and Roll bartender)

It’s hot. Philly is hot from 3pm to 6pm, but the sun is setting and the event is nice. the music is good thanks to Roman. He’s singing some songs and its beautiful.

It’s a little alien. After working every night at the salon until 8pm every might, I’m accustomed to entering the night after that. My social life began at 8:30 or later, and my good friends were forced to accept that.

But tonight I’m finished at my job at 5pm and it’s nice. I worked the morning and afternoon at Mac Mart and it was lovely. I love my new career.

But to leave a job at 5pm after 2 years is a bit weird. I had texted a few people to let them know I’m off.  The Stewardess, a friend and finally,…. the muse, Maria. (See: Maria – Amore en Vano)

I decide to text her: “Happy Hour today?”

“I could technically meet for a drink. I have to work at 6 tonight. So random lol.”

“And I leave the office at 3pm.”

“I”ll be at Square 1682 a little after 5pm”

“I’ll see what I can do”

Classic Maria. Elusive and gorgeous. I have to expect she will NEVER come to meet me.

I know she’s busy, and I took a risk. I know I’ll never hear from her, but that’s our relationship.

Maria inspired the blog Phicklephilly. She can do what she likes. Be bad. Never get back to me. I’ll love you anyway, because you’re my inspiration and got me writing again after 10 years of nothing.

Maria you are special.

You can do whatever you want. Since it’s inception 2 years ago, phicklephilly has had over 970 posts, and over 51,000 views and thousands of followers.

You can do no wrong, dear.

Thank you.

I roll out of work and make my way east to Square 1682 two blocks away.

It’s a beach themed event outside the bar. They’ve roped off the street and my man Roman is pouring special cocktails and singing songs.

Industry people are there and I know so many of them. It reminds me of my past life in that world and I’m so happy to see them all.

I had texted several women that night to meet me just for the sake of sharing a drink. I had gone there just to see Roman and hear him sing after 2 years of absence.

I was sitting in the shade sipping a free cocktail with a gentleman I’m friends with from a fine Italian restaurant in the area.

I’m surrounded with lovely people I know from my past life in the bar industry. It’s great, but then I look at my phone and MARIA is calling me.

I take the call and am dumbfounded that I’m getting a call from my muse. She says she’s inside the bar.

I tell the people I’m sharing the shade with I have to go.

The muse is calling.

I go inside and the bar is empty.

But my lovely Queen is sitting at the bar waiting for me.

I am so happy to see her.

She looks gorgeous as always. Her hair is chocolate ribbons and her face is as lovely as a brand new day as always.

She’s been ghosted by her shitty boyfriend that sadly used my friend as a side piece and that breaks my heart because I adore Maria. This clown was able to be intimate with someone I really care for and then discarded her.

But that’s how it works in this city sometimes. We live and we learn.

Even I know now that all of my muses have been toxic and I can never date my inspiration.

But in this moment, Maria has appeared and I’m so happy to see her. The inspiration for Phiklephilly.

She just got her Bachelors of Liberal Arts in Marketing and graduated from Temple University.

I know she’ll that she’ll choose a handsome husband at some point. As she should. But there will always be the guy that wrote a blog that loved her hospitality at Misconduct and thought she was beautiful and charming with a pair of lovely legs that always loved her from a distance.

I enter the bar. My bar.  My favorite bartender is playing outside, singing songs and pouring cocktails.

I am inside with my Queen with my most hated bartender in the city. Dee. Just a ball of Awful. Fire her today.

It doesn’t matter, I’m with the muse.

Maria gets a tart fruity $7 cocktail and I get a heady one in a copper pot. I”m just stupid happy to be with the inspiration of phicklephilly.

10 years. I write nothing

Maria. Phicklephilly is created

Never date or get mixed up with you muse.

It was beautiful as the sun went down on the fun even outside, and I was in my bar with my queen for a moment.

I looked upon her. She said she went to the beach for a day. Her skin was caramel and beautiful.

She had to get to her job, but is still looking for a marketing gig now that she’s graduated. I’m shopping her resume to some of my contacts in the industry.

But sadly as hard as I push her resume to my industry contacts I keep getting the same response.

A career waitress at 32 with a BA in marketing will only yield a job in sales.

I’ve worked in sales my whole life and have been wildly successful, but sales in itself is an almost imossible nut to crack.

I want so much for maria, but based on what I know about the cold stark world of corporate  life, I don’t know if there is anything for my dear out there at this point.

I’ll keep pushing…

I’m so proud of her and Maria has come so far.

I am grateful for every hug she gave me.

I will always love Maria.

There’s just something about her….

 

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Mary, Mia, Daphne, Alexa, & Carly. We Call It Wednesday

The reason the stock photo for this entry has several women in it is because I encountered so many lovely ladies today.

Wednesday I decide to eat lunch at Misconduct at 18th and JFK. I love the chicken tenders and my friend Mary works there. (See: Mary – 2016 to Present – Unexpected Table For Two) I take a small table by the door. It’s right against the wall across from the hostess stand so I can chat with Mary.

We catch up on what’s been happening in our lives and the tenders are delicious as always. The lunch rush is over around 2:30 and I’ve got my eye on the table in the corner. There are two guys there and they’re finishing up. Hot Mia is still going to be my server. She’s a cute little Latina girl who’s new.

The guys leave and I move over there. Now my back is to the wall in the corner and I can see the whole restaurant and bar. I can also plug in my laptop and phone and charge up for a bit while I work on some accounts.

3pm rolls around and Mia asks if I want anything else. I ask her for a Manhattan straight up with a side of ice. She delivers and it’s beautiful. I sip it and type away. I like restaurants at this time of day. It’s that lull between lunch and happy hour and I can chill in the quiet.

One of the servers that I’ve known since the Maria days, (See: Maria – 2016 to Present – Amor En Vano) Brianna comes over and gives me a hug. She’s a delicious baby with raven curls that tumble to her shoulders. A slender legged caramel skinned delight. (See: Daphne – 2015 to Present – Lovely Hostess – Part 2) 

It’s getting close to 4:30 and I have to meet up with my friend, Carla. (Another friend I’ve never written a post about, but she did appear in the Epilogue of the Annabelle series)

I’ve chosen for us to meet at Tir Na Nog, the Irish pub over at 16th and Arch. My friend Johnny R. likes going there, because they get all of the international soccer games on their TVs.  (See: Johnny R. – 2011 to Present -Needle in the Groove) I’m not a huge fan of the place because it gets noisy, it’s busy, and it’s usually a sausagefest. I’m not a sports fan either so it’s a no for me.

But… hot Alexa works there as a bartender tonight! (See: Alexa – 2016 to Present – The New Hookup) She’s the girl that comes into the salon and told me to come in when she’s working and she would give me free drinks and I would just tip her. I need more hookups around the city. I have four now. So let’s see if she follows through.

I get my bill at Misconduct and the Manhattans were only $7 a piece. That’s cheap.

I get to Tir Na Nog and the bar is packed and noisy. I hate this place. I find a seat at the end of the bar next to the wall. Alexa sees me.

“Hey there! you came in! What can I get you?”

“Manhattan, please.”

“What kind of whiskey do you want?”

“I don’t care.”

“I’ll give you Bulliet.”

“Nice! Thanks!”

She brings it and it has a cherry and a rind of lemon in it. I can’t say anything because I didn’t tell her how I like it, I just hope it’s free. Carla arrives and I’m happy to see her. It’s probably been a year. She orders a beer and I introduce her to Alexa.

We catch up and I give her all the news. She’s the marketing director for a major restaurant chain here in the city. It’s a big job and keeps her plenty busy. If I hadn’t reached out to her I probably wouldn’t have heard from her again. Maybe?

I notice she is very chatty. Almost too much. I like Carly and she is one of the normal women I know. That’s why I kept her around. I’ve cut out all of the crazies from my life. I tell her everything that’s going on with me and she says I seem more calm than I’ve ever been. She’s right.

I tell Alexa we are moving to Dan Dan (A Suezuan and Taiwanese place down the street) My friend Norm works there as a bartender and he says it’s always happy hour prices when I go there. I love the hook ups! I’ve had two Manhattans and Carla has had two beers. I ask Alexa how we proceed. Normally the bill should be $36 plus tip, so you’re looking at $44 all told.

“You’re all set.”

I throw down a twenty-dollar bill and Alexa smiles and grabs it.

“That’s it. We’re good. Thank you.”

And that was it. $40 worth of drinks for $20 and Alexa gets a $20 tip instead of a $7 tip. Hookups work as long as she doesn’t get caught. I think I like Tir na Nog again.

We’re both happy to be off and out of that place. We walk south on 16th and rush hour is in full force in the city. We get to Dan dan and Norm is there. He’s been away in Italy for 10 days and we’re happy he’s back. I think that’s a trend in the service industry. They work and make a chunk of money and then go travel somewhere to break from the stressful life of that industry. I think it’s pretty cool.

Carla and I order up some delicious noodles and pot stickers with some wine. It’s the perfect ending to a fun day surrounded by good people.

 

Oh… here’s a little bonus dating advice video I like. Enjoy!

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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Andrea – 2014 – S&M Girl

“Hi Lorelei. Daddy’s just going to take this fat, drunk bitch back to his room and tie her up. Then you’re going to hear a lot of slapping and squishing sounds. You’re also going to hear Daddy say a bunch of really foul sexually degrading things to this woman, so you better put your ear buds in and crank that shit up.”

One night a couple of years ago, I was out with a friend of mine. We were having drinks outside at Misconduct at 15th & Locust. He was telling me a story about this girl he met on Tinder. Pure hookup. She comes over to his apartment. Sadly, she doesn’t look like her Tinder pics. Which is not good. That’s like seeing a photo of a car you want to buy in the Auto Trader and when you get to the lot to check out the car, it’s an older model and a little banged up and maybe even a bit more car than you saw in the photos.

But he was drunk and up for the foul deed. He said she was a thick girl but he went to town on her anyway. Like my tinder profile says: “If you don’t look like your photos, you’re going to buy me drinks until you do.” So he said it was good sex except for one thing. He didn’t like that she wanted him to spit on her and hit her. There’s nothing wrong with what two consenting adults do with each other behind closed doors. Especially if everyone’s on board with what’s happening. But he didn’t like it. Just not his thing.

He told me that he wasn’t comfortable with that situation. He said at that point no matter what he was into or what he would do, he couldn’t do that again.  It just wasn’t him. (He didn’t spit on her or hit her at all) At that time, back in the beginning of 2014, I had just come off a break up and told him to send Andrea pics of me. Because I was up for whatever she wanted dished out. The key here is when it comes to dominance, be firm…not mean. There’s a big difference. I would discipline and correct her if necessary. And remember, the submissive party is ALWAYS in control. They have the safe word and hold the power to cancel the fantasy at anytime. That’s the rules of S&M play.

Well, nothing came of it. Until earlier this year when she connected to me on LinkedIn. LinkedIn of all places! Can you imagine with all of the dating websites out there, LinkedIn brings me the crazy S&M chick? So we chatted and did some texting. She wanted me to text her all of the things I was going to do to her, so I did. I have a pretty good imagination. She said she was getting really turned on and that we should meet.

I set it up that we should meet at the Ranstead Room. It’s just a good spot normally to hideout with somebody. I get there and I’m just chilling with a drink. She arrives shortly thereafter. My friend was right about her. In her Tinder pics she looks really hot, but in real life she is a lot bigger, and what was with that low tranny voice? Not good. I just wasn’t feeling it. I would have to drink a LOT of cocktails for Andrea to start to resemble her profile pics on Tinder. So I figured what the hell, I was already here and the drinks were flowing. She wasn’t that hot but at least I was someplace where nobody knew me.

Then the manager from the restaurant where my daughter works suddenly comes through the door and walks right up to me and says hello using my name.

Now I’m made. He can see who I’m with and now everybody there knows my name.

Andrea starts telling me about her life. She hates her job and wants to leave Philly. (Probably a good idea for us all.) She was seeing some crazy drug dealer loser guy. He’s suicidal, and does tons of coke. It’s bad, and she’s not much better.  I always thought if you did a bunch of cocaine you were skinny. Certainly not the case here.

After awhile we’re getting pretty tipsy. We went outside for a cigarette. She was on me like a northern pike hitting the bait. So I’m making out with her and people are walking by on Ranstead and she just pulls her boobs out. She’s losing her shit. She wants to take me back behind the building and give me a blowjob.

Yea. Great. I’ll just go stand behind my daughter’s manager’s Mercedes-Benz and you can give me oral. What if he walks outside and sees that shit? That’s not going to be good for me or anybody. Now, if this was Los Angeles and it was 1982, yea I’d be down for that, but not now. That’s gross. Sure, I’m flattered that she’s turned on enough from my words and the alcohol to want to blow me in a filthy alley, but no. Just no. I don’t roll like that.

She’s drunk. We go back inside and we’re in the vestibule and all sorts of things are happening with lips and fingers. If somebody comes through either door, we’re going to jail. So after that brief encounter, we go back inside. I kind of want to go home. In the right environment, some S&M play could be fun with her, but I’m just not getting a good vibe from her in this moment. She’s calling me daddy and all that shit. She says she loves older men, etc. I tell her I have an early sales meeting in the morning that I have to travel to so we should wrap it up. (A bold-faced lie)

She wants to go back to my place and have sex. Great idea. I can see it now. Me walking through the door to my apartment with Andrea and my daughter sitting on the sofa.

“Hi Lorelei. Daddy’s just going to take this fat, drunk bitch back to his room and tie her up. Then you’re going to hear a lot of slapping and squishing sounds. You’re also going to hear Daddy say a bunch of really foul sexually degrading things to this woman, so you better put your ear buds in and crank that shit up.”

No. Not happening. We pay the bill, and we walk over to 18th Street. I hail her a taxi and send her on her way. I was actually relieved when she was gone.

If somebody I met and was in a relationship wanted to experiment with some things, I’d be down with that, but Andrea just isn’t that person.

Update! She appeared at the salon tonight for a tan before she goes to L.A!

She’s leaving Philly for good!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish Monday through Friday at 8am EST.

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Dina – 2011 to Present – In The Vault

“These clowns come in and are fans of Prova and act like crazy drunk, loud assholes. I fucking hate that. I literally want to call the cops and say these middle eastern looking guys were talking about taking flying lessons and not landing lessons and there was talk about the new Comcast tower being built.

They were that annoying.”

I crush it at the salon on a Saturday because I’ll be gone for 3 days. Dina, my friend and broker and I meet up at 1518 Bar & Grille. She’s 4’11” and adorable. She also has the metabolism of a bee. She loves Smores, fried chicken, Oreos, and ice cream.

Dina orders a lemon martini. I’m on my 2nd straight up with a twist and Asha the bartender hooks me up with house but it’s Ketel One.

She looks hot.  Boots, dark jeans, and custom leather jacket. Cute as hell. Dark curls tumble about her shoulders and of course that hot pouty mouth of hers.

I introduce her to  her to Prova the bartender. (See: Prova – 2015 to Present – Glow of the Sun) She looks amazing as always. Those dimples!

These clowns come in and are fans of Prova and act like crazy drunk, loud assholes. I fucking hate that. I literally want to call the cops and say these middle eastern looking guys were talking about taking flying lessons and not landing lessons and there was talk about the new Comcast tower being built.

They were that annoying.

Dina is amazing. She’s such a no bullshit girl who is so sure about herself. I love her plus she looks 18. I always knew she was too good for any life or job i saw her in. I’m also happy her husband is such a chill solid pup he doesn’t mind his hot wife hanging out with the Dark Lord and having drinks.

We need to get out of here. These Indian guys suck. So loud and annoying. I can’t think straight.

We close out and I let the staff know that there’s no hard feelings but that’s why we’re leaving. We need to talk and I need to hear her. I miss my friend.

We never go out on Saturday night. It’s all young drunk people around city. The women are extraordinary though.

We decide to check out Square 1682 but the staff sucks and we head to Sofitel. Liam is on and so is the waitress who likes to go topless when she gets drunk. Let’s just call her Tulip. I usually do a rock trivia thing with Liam but tonight I have a different one.

“You wake up and look out your front door and see the sun rise out of the Atlantic Ocean. Later that day, you walk out your back door and watch the sun set in the Pacific Ocean. Where is your house?”

Tulip looks great and I intro Dina to the crew. The bar is full so we sit and a quiet table in the lounge, which is glorious. Tulip brings a snack tray for Dina because as we all know, she loves to eat.

Dina’s happy and we order wine. She’s hungry, so more food is on the way. I got the drinks at 1518 but I know she’ll cover everything from here which is clutch.

We catch up on my life. Daughter Lorelei, the fitness center I should be opening in Rittenhouse in the next 60 days, and what’s happening with this blog, the book, and TV series we’re developing about it. Dina and her husband just settled on a house in Rittenhouse so I love that they’ll be in the neighborhood with us.

Liam is texting me solutions to my puzzle and they’re all wrong.

She says she has a strange story about a former colleague of mine. This person has since cut me off a couple of years ago for no apparent reason, but he likes to keep weak inferiors around him, and I hate his friends and wife anyway so its no loss to me. We could have been mighty but he never did what he was supposed to do with the business so now it’s just a trust fund baby’s way to play work. I loved the guy, but he has to make the juvenile choices he needs to make.

She tells me about this dinner she had with this other dude, I used to know that always had a thing for her. He’s harmless. We all still think he’s a virgin, so there’s that. He’s a really smart guy that is always super excited about everything that is before him, and it comes off as childish. I like the guy, but to me he’s just a bore.

If he would just get laid he’d probably chill out and get a different perspective on everything. I hate to say that, but that would probably fix his ass.

She goes to this dinner with this guy, as a friend or a wing woman or whatever with my former colleague and his horrible wife. I remember Everybody hated this guy’s wife years ago. She’s awful. She’s kind of hot. But only in the sense that if I were marooned on a desert island with her I would bang her for a few months but it would only be a matter of time before I became so annoyed with her that I would eventually kill her and eat her to survive just to not have to listen to her endless bullshit.

So they have their awkward dinner, little virgin guy gets an UBER with Dina back to Rittehouse. He gets in the car with her and says:

“So they are separated. She wanted it.”

I know this guy has a pre-nup so he’s well protected in regard to his daddy’s loot.

“Really?”

She thinks the wife is awful just like the rest of us.

“Yea, he went to an event and told her he could only get one ticket because they were really expensive, but he went with is new editor.”

“Oh wow. That’s a shame.”

“Yea, and his wife is living at the house, (because she doesn’t earn shit) and he said he’s living at a hotel but he’s really living with new editor girlfriend at an apartment somewhere.”

I am not shocked about this news because I knew he was miserable with that harpy years ago. She cheated on him in college and is crazy. She has destroyed property at the house, assaulted people at concerts, fights with him all the time, withholds sex all the time, has flushed his weed, and cigars, and is just an all around child who behaves as if she has fetal alcohol syndrome. Thank God she never wanted kids, because he dodged a huge child support bullet and should just cut that beast loose.

But he’s cut me off and I take that as a smite to me. I loved the guy and we were tight. I don’t know hat’s happened to him, but I’m sure he’s in a world of pain right now. I hope he gets through it okay, but I’m German and so is he, and if you read this dude, then schadenfreude is a bitch baby.

Karma can be a real fucker. You reap what you sow. You make bad life choices and that shit comes back on you like a hurricane. I just hope he can cash her out and flush her from his life and hopefully move on with the new mistress he’s fucking.

Dina and I eat and drink like Gods at Sofitel and I’m happy just to have her in my presence and hear her voice. I adore her. She’s so sound as a woman. I wish I could replicate her into five more to hang out with. Maybe a lawyer, and accountant Dina would be a start.

I go out for a smoke and she pays the bill. (Love her!) We both trust each other implicitly with all of our honesty and the relationship is wonderful. She takes care of my money and knows how to keep her mouth shut. Obviously we discuss everything that’s going on in our lives and it’s so intimate that I can’t talk about it here but maybe someday if this becomes a TV show our characters can talk about children, and marriage, but I can’t divulge our secrets here. Don’t worry’s it’s not that exciting, but this is a dating blog and not a forum for right and wrong.

We decide to head out and Dina needs Ben & Jerry’s. Of course I stand and put her leather jacket on her slight frame. You have to be a gentleman 100% of the time with everyone, guys.

We step out into the night. It’s stopped raining and the street is wet and the air is cool.

Happily there’s a store half way down the block from the hotel bar and it’s still open. I’m a wine, cocktail and carb guy. I’m just not really into sweets or dairy anymore. It doesn’t agree with my physiology. Middle age. But she’s 28 and looks 18 and loves sweets. She says we MUST stop there. I’ve walked by the place a hundred times and have had no desire to ever climb the steps and go in. (Even on National Ice Cream Day, where they give away free cones all day!)

We go in and this is alien to me. I never go into ice cream parlors. It’s clean and bright. I like it but prefer a dark bar.

The kid with the hat and dreds and tie-dye shirt is sweet and articulate. He knows his products. I always admire that. Dina knows this place so well that if she asks for endless samples of every crazy flavor combination they will let her put them in her mouth endlessly. I have this arrangement with Prova but she does it for me with craft beers so I get it. The ice cream flavors seem delicious, and she devours a few samples lovingly.  She encourages me to partake in the samples but I know what rich dairy will do to my colon so I only do one. It is some sort of chocolate, vanilla, cookies and nuts and crushed cone concoction. It is exquisite in my mouth.

I get it. But there are things in my life now that are far sweeter than any frozen treat can match.

Dina decides on some lethal combo and they put it all on a sugar cone. This is actually a really sweet moment in my mind. I adore Dina. I trust her with my money and my secrets. She’s one of my favorite people in my life.

I’m not getting an ice cream cone but this reminds me of some of the sweet romantic moments of my young life. Getting an ice cream cone with a young pretty girl on a Saturday night. She manages my financial portfolio and is a trusted friend but in this moment I am just happy to walk her home.

She’s loving her ice cream cone as we stroll through Rittenhouse with me walking on the inside so she doesn’t get splashed by a passing car.

I love this.

I like walking her home to her stoop and giving her a hug goodnight. We promise to keep in touch and have a lunch in our future. She unlocks her door and goes back to her husband and her little dog Lily.

I light a cig and walk home. The streets are wet and slick. They reflect the lights and sounds of the city. I’m happy after a long day at the salon, and a sweet night with a feiend.

I look forward to tomorrow.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish Monday through Friday at 8am EST.

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Lenore – Nowhere To Go But Up

“She had started to pound $10 cocktails like she was going off to war.”

I was coming off my break up with Michelle, (See: Michelle – 2007 to Present – A Brand New Day) We remained friends, but I figured I should get back out there. I had little knowledge on how online dating worked. I met a cute enough girl online (OK Cupid) – looks a little wild, perfect for where I am in my life, and we decide to meet.
I go all out for this first date. We’re going to my favorite “upscale” taco place and a movie after that I was excited to see. She called me about 10 minutes late and she’s pissed. She couldn’t find parking and now she couldn’t find the place. I excuse myself from the table, step outside, and try to look for her. I don’t see this girl anywhere, but I suddenly hear my name being called. I look over, and the girl who I thought was a slinky girl with pink hair looked almost nothing like her photos.
When we sit down inside the restaurant, she tells me the story. She’s gained about 45lbs…since the baby (which she also neglected to tell me about) and had recently dyed her hair moss-green, mostly by accident. I honestly wasn’t even sure that she was the same person, but she told me she was in beauty school and mixed something up. I don’t remember the exact details, because I stopped being able to pay attention to her story. Why? Because she had started to pound $10 cocktails like she was going off to war.

Uh oh, bad sign.
She ended up ordering the most expensive thing on the menu, drinking $50 in about 5 minutes, and started to get whiny and cranky. What would a normal guy have done? Maybe split the tab and call it a night. Me? Nope. I keep thinking, “Maybe she’s just nervous. Obviously, she’s been through a lot and is a bit of a mess.”
So, the idiot that I am, I take her to the movie. The movie has assigned seating, which lands us in the back of this theater. When we go to sit down, her drunk ass falls over, much to the chagrin of a father and his pre-teen daughter who are sitting in the seats next to us. This girl is in and out of consciousness most of the movie. It was a great movie, but when she was conscious, she complained throughout it – loudly and childishly.

The worst part of the movie, though, is when she got horny and decided to start trying to give me a hand job in the movie theater. Normally, this would be a kind of sexy proposition, but not when you’re sitting right next to a pretty buff-looking, angry father and his young daughter. I had to pull her hand away maybe 5 times as this guy shot me looks of “I’m about to fucking kill you” before I finally took her out of the theater. I felt so bad that I bought the dad/daughter a gift card for the theater and wrote a quick apology before walking miss #greenhairdontcare outside.
It only gets worse from here, sadly. She ends up having a fucking meltdown on one of benches outside the theater. She’s crying and talking about killing herself for about 20 minutes. She’s calling herself fat and ugly, saying that I’m a pig and an asshole for taking her out, and asks me if I’ll fuck her in her car loudly and repeatedly (she asks loudly and repeatedly, not for loud, repetitive sex). I’m getting glares and the cops come over twice to make sure I’m not hurting her.
At some point, I just gave up. I called a cab, which she refused to get in. She hopped in her car, drunk as hell, and sped off. I ended up spending over $200 for this night. By the end of this thing, I was ready to swear off dating entirely, especially after the next 3 days of her texting me depressing shit and pics of her lady parts out of nowhere. But, in the end, I had nowhere to go but up. Dating got a lot better after that.

Sort of.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish Monday through Friday at 8am EST.

Instagram: @phicklephilly             Facebook: phicklephilly