8 Overrated Date Night Ideas That Aren’t Worth The Stress

If you and your partner pride yourselves on always thinking outside of the box, you may already be a little weary of overrated date night ideas. Whether dinner and a movie just don’t cut it or you’d rather wax your entire body than take a ride in a horse-drawn carriage, being in love can mean putting your own spin on how you spend time together. Of course, communication and transparency are key. And if you’re not into an idea for date night or you’d rather be doing something else, it’s always OK to (politely) say so. Your boo will probably be happy you did.

Maybe your partner likes to make a big show out of holidays, and you prefer to keep things low-key. Or perhaps you love to go hiking, but your partner’s idea of being outside is sitting on the patio at their favorite bar. Planning a special date night doesn’t have to mean dragging your boo somewhere they don’t want to be or pretending you like a bunch of stuff that you don’t actually like. It can look like being open and honest with each other about where your head is at.

Here are eight overrated date night ideas to skip when you’d rather be doing something else.

Group of young men and women enjoying summer holiday at outdoor party.
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1. A Group-Hang (When You Really Wanted A One-On-One)

Listen, you love your group of friends. Heck, you probably love your boo’s group of friends, too. They might even be the same group of friends! While it’s nice to spend time with all of the people you care about, it’s also OK to want a one-on-one night with your partner. Whether you haven’t seen them for a while or just really want to connect, you never need to feel pressure to do a group-hang when you really want a hot date night for two.

2. An Expensive Anniversary Dinner (When You’d Rather Cook At Home)

Relationship milestones can mean something different to everyone. Maybe you’re excited to celebrate your six-month anniversary, but don’t really care about your two, three, or four-month anniversary. Maybe you’ve been dating for so long that you can’t remember when you started. While it’s totally OK to go all-out for every anniversary, you don’t need to feel pressure to spend a bunch of money or make a huge gesture to acknowledge how long you’ve been in love. If you’d rather cook at home or order take-out to celebrate, you can create your own kind of traditions — including not celebrating at all.

3. An All-Out Valentine’s Day Celebration (When You Wanted Something Small)

Just as you can celebrate your personal anniversaries and milestones however the heck you want, you get to make the rules about how you navigate holidays. Maybe you skip a fancy V-Day date to volunteer at the animal shelter. Perhaps you’d rather spend the holiday with your sister than your partner. Whatever the case, you don’t need to have a glamorous or super romantic date night for each and every holiday. You can just do you.

4. Going To The Movies (When You Were Hoping To Talk)

If you and your boo are total cinephiles, you may love going to the movies together. However, if you like to talk during dates or you really were hoping to connect deeper with your partner, silently sitting facing forward in a dark room may not be the best space to do that. It’s OK to tell your SO that you’ll meet them after they go to the movies. It’s also OK to ask them to do something more interactive on your date, like mini-golf, pottery painting, or getting coffee and catching up. The world is your dating oyster.

Young couple watching a movie on their laptop in bed
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5. A Double-Date (When You Don’t Even Like The Other Couple)

You don’t have to like all of your partner’s friends. I’ll say it again: You. Don’t. Have. To. Like. All. Of. Your. Partner’s. Friends. Should you be polite to them? Probably — you should consider treating them with empathy and respect in the same way that you’d treat anyone else. But do you need to go on a double-date to a restaurant you don’t like on the other side of town with them? Why no, you most certainly do not.

6. A Nature Outing (When You Actually Hate The Outdoors)

Yes, relationships are all about compromise. Sometimes, you have to go to your partner’s sister’s baby shower instead of eating a breakfast burrito in bed because you’re working on connecting your families more. However, if you hate, hate, hate spending time outdoors, you don’t need to go on a “cute nature date” with your partner. In fact, if you really hate anything — shopping, French food, going to the gym, nature museums, board games, etc. — you don’t need to feel the pressure to “suck it up” or “just deal with it.” Your boo likes you for you. They don’t like you for pretending to be someone that you’re not. It’s OK to let your partner enjoy their hobbies with other people who enjoy them, too. Meet up after and do something you both like.

7. A “Chill” Night At Home (When You Wanted To Go Out)

OK, if your boo has the stomach bug and just got fired from their job, chances are they aren’t in the mood to take you out on the town. However, if anniversaries or birthdays are important to you, or you just got a promotion or internship, and you’re trying to celebrate, you don’t need to feel any pressure to “chill” when you’d rather go out. You’re not “needy” or “materialistic” for wanting to have a special night with the person you’re dating. It’s OK to want to make a big deal out of something, and it’s OK to want more out of date night than take-out and a movie. There are plenty of thoughtful date ideas that don’t break the bank, so communicate how you feel and open up a dialogue with your partner about settling on a compromise.

8. Doing Something For The ‘Gram (When You Want To Connect IRL)

There’s no shortage of Instagram-worthy moments that happen on date nights (think: rooftop bars, flower walls, and neon signs with arbitrary messages like, “Here You Are”). While sharing your joy on social media can be a sweet way to connect with your friends and family, you never need to feel any pressure to get the “perfect shot” on date night, or to even Instagram about your date at all. You and your boo can connect IRL, and that can be enough.

 

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Dating Goals For 2020, According To 11 People

It’s the start of a new decade, baby, and that means coming at dating and relationships with some extra intentionality. While New Year’s resolutions can look different for everyone (and you don’t need to change yourself just because another 365 days have passed), thinking about some dating goals for 2020 can help you feel empowered and inspired as your mix and mingle your way through the year.

From expressing your needs to working through healthy conflict, creating and maintaining a relationship with someone can take a lot of work. Though movies may depict dating as serendipitous (think: meeting someone in a coffee shop and running off into the sunset while a Norah Jones song plays in the background), in real life, connecting with someone you care about can mean putting yourself out there and constantly striving to maintain an open mind. While it’s important to check in with yourself all year long, the start of a new year can be an extra special moment to look back at past relationships and think about how you want to move forward in your love life.

I asked 10 people about their romantic goals for 2020, and what they said will have you dating more deliberately for the rest of the decade.

woman in a cafe drinking coffee
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1. Date Someone Who Goes To Therapy

This year I want to find a nice person with shared interests, who asks me questions and texts me first, reciprocates my kindnesses, is emotionally available, and goes to therapy. That’s my goal.

— R.J., 27

2. Be Single

Honestly, my ‘dating goal’ is to not date for a while in 2020. In the past, I’ve gone from relationship to relationship, and I haven’t taken time to just be with myself and see what I really want. This year I want to try being single for a while or see people casually without getting so emotionally invested.

— Charli, 23

3. Pour My Heart Into It

2020 is the year of eager boyfriend energy. I want to be an eager boyfriend. Literally, all I want is someone to accept gifts from me and to kiss my face in public. I want to love fully and really show up for people.

— Sarah, 26

4. Embrace My Independence

I guess my serious goal is to gain independence within my relationship. Because I’m dating my best friend, we can get a bit insular, really ‘us against the world,’ and the reality is we both need other friendships outside our workplace and our romantic relationship. I want to value my friendships the same way I value my romantic relationship.

— Luna, 23

5. Be Unashamed Of Vulnerability

My dating goal for 2020 is to be unashamed of my vulnerability and allow myself to be indulgent in my emotions. Basically, I’m trying to get my heart broken in 2020. LOL, but actually? To really feel every moment of my relationships without fear.

— Kaylee, 21

Portrait of a beautiful woman walking in the beach
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6. Know When Something Isn’t Working Out

I tend to stick around in relationships that I’m not really happy in because I think, ‘What if I’m not really giving them a chance?’ I think my ‘goal’ for 2020 is to be better at balancing my intuition around feeling like a person or situation isn’t right for me.

— Lyndee, 30

7. Go On More Memorable Dates

My goal is to go on more memorable dates with people, even if we’re not ‘seriously’ dating yet. You don’t need to be seriously committed to someone to have a fun night out or go on a unique date that isn’t drinks or dinner. I want to bring more people flowers and make more people playlists. I want to go on hikes and road trips and do fun things with the people I’m casually seeing.

— Campbell, 22

8. Advocate For My Needs

I want to learn how to better advocate for my own emotional needs instead of only prioritizing my partner’s, or the people I’m seeing. I love how much I care about people, and I think it’s really special that I can be so attentive, but I need to make sure my own needs are getting met as well.

— Georgia, 25

9. Use More Lube

Use more lube. 2020 is the year to use. More. Lube. By that, I really mean, I want to communicate better during sex. Say if something hurts. Say if I’m not into it. Prioritize my body and comfort.

— Rebecca, 23

10. Heal From My Breakup

My dating goal for 2020 is to allow myself time to heal from my breakup, to be patient, and if I happen to meet someone I like, to take things slow and not rush into something just to fill the void of my breakup. And to remember to have fun!

— Shell, 28

11. Stop Trying To Force Things

I think my biggest goal for dating or anything relationship-wise is to remember that you can only control what you do. I want to stop bending over backward for people and working so hard just to get a kernel of attention from someone. It can be tricky to remember in the moment when you have a crush on someone, but if you have to try so hard just to get their attention, it’s just not going to be worth it. You don’t need to force anything.

— Jenna, 28

 

 

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7 Ways To Tell Someone Has Real Feelings For You, According To Experts

One of the toughest parts about dating is investing your time and energy into a building a relationship with someone who may not be as invested as you. It’s not always easy to tell if someone is sincere and has real feelings for you or if they’re just playing around. But according to experts, there are some things you can watch out for.

“Pay twice as much attention to how someone treats you than what they say,” Christine Scott-Hudson, psychotherapist and owner of Create Your Life Studio, tells Bustle. “Anybody can say they love you, but behavior doesn’t lie. If someone says they value you, but their actions indicate otherwise, trust their behavior.”

For instance, someone who is serious about you will always make time for you no matter what. As Kate O’Connor, professional matchmaker and dating expert with It’s Just Lunch D.C., tells Bustle, having a packed schedule and being busy is not really an excuse.

“They could be stringing you along while dating other people, or they’re simply not interested in making room for you in their life,” O’Connor says. “And don’t be fooled by someone who takes the time to send you a quick text or DM throughout the day. Those two seconds of flirting may seem sweet on the surface, but it doesn’t make up for the lack of real time spent together.”

It’s one thing to be with someone who’s into you, and it’s another to be with someone who actually has feelings for you. Here’s how to tell if it’s the latter, according to experts.

1. They Do Thoughtful Things For You Just Because

Andrew Zaeh for Bustle

When someone is serious about you, they’ll display a level of selflessness that you won’t always get with someone who’s into you for more shallow reasons. For instance, they’ll do nice things for you because they know it’ll make you happy, not because they want something in return. “You might’ve said something about your dog being sick, and the next thing you know, they’ve bought chew toys, medication or even consulted their veterinarian pal for you,” Cherlyn Chong, breakup recovery and dating specialist, tells Bustle. “This is a person who doesn’t want credit or validation from you, they just want to make things better and see you smile again.”

2. They Care About What’s Going On In Your Life

“Being friendly is one thing, but consistently having tons of conversations is another,” Celia Schweyer, dating expert at Dating Scout, tells Bustle. A person who has real feelings for you will want to stay up-to-date on what’s happening in your life. If you’re not in contact throughout the day, they’ll make it a point to check in just to see how you’re doing. They’re always there for you if you need to vent, and they’re more than happy to give advice if you ask. They’ll also find a way to turn simple small talk into a full-blown conversation. A person who makes this kind of effort not only likes you, but actually cares about you.

3. They Make You Feel Like What You Say Really Matters To Them

Andrew Zaeh for Bustle

“You can tell that someone has real feelings for you if whenever you talk, you feel like they appreciate everything you say and do,” Celia Schweyer, dating expert at Dating Scout, tells Bustle. For instance, when you’re having a conversation face-to-face, they’ll try to make eye contact as much as possible. They’ll put any distractions away and keep their focus on you. When you talk about something, they’ll ask thoughtful follow-up questions or offer up comments that let you know they’re paying attention. “It might feel like they’re clinging on to every word you say,” Schweyer says. They just have a way of making you feel like everything you say is important.

4. They Remember The Details

Sometimes the signs of someone having real feelings for you can be subtle. According to Schweyer, someone who’s serious about you will remember the details. They’ll never forget basic things like your birthday or your favorite food. They’ll also make note of the small things you say in passing like wanting to check out the newest restaurant in town. You’ll know they’re really into you if they take it a step further and actually do something about the knowledge they have. For instance, if you did mention wanting to try out that new restaurant, they’ll make it happen on your next date night.

5. They’re Open And Honest With You

Ashley Batz/Bustle

When someone is sincere about their feelings for you, they’ll have no problem sharing their life with you. They’ll open up about their insecurities, fears, and dreams for the future. “When someone opens up to you and you know it wasn’t easy for them to speak out, that’s a sign they have real feelings for you,” Schweyer says. “They want you to know that they trust you, and that you can trust them in return.” They’re allowing you to see their true self in hopes that you’ll accept them despite any flaws or shortcomings. This is how you build intimacy and connection.

6. They Respect Your Boundaries

In order to have a healthy relationship, it’s important to know that your partner respects you. As life and dating coach, Treva Brandon Scharf, tells Bustle, someone who truly has feelings for you will always take “no” for an answer without question. They’ll never try to push, force, manipulate, or pressure you in any way. “They’ll respect your decisions and your boundaries,” Scharf says. “If you say ‘no’ to something you’re not comfortable with, they honor it.” Your comfort and happiness means way more to them than whatever it is they want in the moment.

7. They’re Consistent And Follow Through On Their Word

Ashley Batz/Bustle

“The best signs someone has real feelings for you are consistency and follow-through,” Elizabeth Stone, love coach and founder of Attract the One tells, Bustle. When someone wants you in their life, they’ll make you a priority. They’ll be consistent with their communication, and make plans with you and follow through. If they can’t make it for whatever reason, they’ll apologize and set a new date. “When people are truly interested, your time and communication with them begins to cut through the other noise in their life,” Stone says. “They want more of you — to know more, experience more and spend more of their resources (time, energy, etc.) on you.” You’ll never have to question their interest.

While it’s always nice to hear that someone likes you, actions do speak louder than words. If the person you’re with does any of these things, you can trust that their feelings for you are real.

 

 

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Why Does Texting Fizzle Out So Easily During Early Dating? It’s So Common

If you’ve ever been texting with someone new and it seems to be going well (the conversation is flowing, there’s mutual interest on both sides), having them suddenly taper off or go silent can be frustrating AF. It can also be hella confusing. You’re left wondering, “What happened? Did they just suddenly lose interest? Was it something I said? Were they abducted by aliens?” OK, it probably wasn’t that last one, but as frustrating as it can be to have your text conversation fizzle out quickly early on, dating experts tell Elite Daily it’s not uncommon. So, at the very least, you know you’re not in it alone. Still, it can be helpful to understand why this happens, if only so you can see it coming or even avoid the texting fade out in the future.

Here’s what the experts say about text conversations drying up in the early stages of dating — and what, in some cases, you can do to prevent it from happening next time.

They’re Talking To Multiple People.

If you’re texting with someone you met through a dating app, Julie Spira, online dating expert and author of Love in the Age of Trump: How Politics is Polarizing Relationships says it’s likely they’re chatting with multiple people at the same time. In that case, the fizzle might have resulted from their divided attention. “An app like Tinder reports 1.6 billion swipes every day. This means your latest crush on a dating app is chatting with multiple people, and early on they could focus on one person, or just be overwhelmed and let a few conversations slide,” she tells Elite Daily. “It’s hard to keep that level of conversation going with multiple people. If someone isn’t feeling it as much, their response time will increase, until you get to the point that you could get ghosted, or your digital love connection will fade away.”

While this can be discouraging, Spira counsels to not let this modern dating issue get you down. “Don’t let it get to you. There are so many singles who’d like to chat, meet, and find a meaningful relationship. Find someone who’d like to be in it for the long haul,” she says.

The Chemistry Isn’t Quite Right.

urbazon/E+/Getty Images

Texting can be a great way to start getting to know someone. Sometimes, the more you chat, the more you realize there’s a great vibe between you. But not always. As Trina Leckie, breakup coach and host of the Breakup BOOST podcast tells Elite Daily, a text conversation fizzling out might be a sign that the chemistry between you isn’t quite right. “Attraction may die down,” explains Leckie. “People [can also] realize they have less in common as time goes on.”

Eric Resnick, an online dating coach, agrees that a lack of chemistry is usually the cause for texting conversations to fade out. “It could be that the initial pull you felt toward each other wasn’t anything more than a passing attraction with no real chemistry,” he tells Elite Daily. Resnick adds, however, that it’s important not to let this experience make you try to be someone you’re not when texting. “Don’t worry about being cool and just try to be you. That will lead to much more genuine text conversations that lead somewhere, not ones that peter out because you don’t know how to outdo the last message you sent,” he says.

Over-Texting Can Be Detrimental To The “Vibe”.

When you first start texting with someone you’re attracted to, it can be easy to get caught up in the experience, and this, in turn, can lead to over-texting. Resnick warns this is another common cause for texting to fizzle out. “Early relationships can breed some over-exuberant behaviors. I’ve seen new couples where one person is so into the other that they’ll send three to five texts before even getting one back. This is a good way to push the other person away,” he warns. “If you are doing this, stop. If you send a text and don’t get a response in an hour or two, that’s fine. You don’t need to follow-up. In theory, the person you are dating has a life of their own,” Resnick explains.

It’s Just The Normal Slowdown In Texting Frequency.

Not all causes of text conversations slowing down are reasons to panic. A decrease in texting frequency may simply be a sign that your relationship has entered a new phase, explains Leckie. “It’s common to want to text non-stop when you first meet in the ‘butterfly stages,’ but naturally it will slow down as time goes on. This doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad thing,” she says. “It’s just a natural progression of a relationship and should only really be a cause for concern if it gets to the point where you are barely texting or feeling ignored.” That is to say, if all other signs in the relationship appear to be positive, it’s OK to just take a breath and not sweat fewer or less frequent texts.

How To Prevent The Fizzle In The Future.

ljubaphoto/E+/Getty Images

“Sometimes the text fizzle is just part of the natural cycle of things,” says Resnick. But that shouldn’t prevent you from doing something if you sense the conversation is dying out prematurely. If you think that’s the case, Resnick’s advice is fairly straightforward: “Don’t try so hard. Sometimes forcing it can kill it faster. So, relax. Don’t feel like you’ve got to send X amount of texts in a day. They don’t all have to be witty comments or hilarious memes. If you don’t give it too much power in your life, you can relax and use texting for what it’s meant to be: just a quick way to pass a periodic communication,” he says.

If you’ve been talking longer and feel like your connection is meaningful, Spira says it’s worth mentioning how you’re feeling. “Let the person know that you enjoy getting daily texts from them and that hearing from them puts a smile on your face. If they feel the same way too, they won’t let the conversation fade,” she explains.

The best approach, says Leckie, is to not sweat it too much and let nature take its course. “If two people really like each other and are a good fit, they will just automatically text more, have more to talk about, and make more of an effort. So then it really doesn’t have to be something that is thought about or worried about,” she says. “It’s important for people to make a concerted effort to touch base. It’s especially nice to reach out in the mornings and before you go to bed, if nothing else. You don’t want to start going a day or more without sending a text, because then not only will the texting be fizzling out, the relationship as a whole will as well,” she concludes.

In other words, conversation fizzle sometimes. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, it’s just a sign that this person wasn’t the right one. Just keep being yourself, stay relaxed, and when it’s right, it’s right — with no fizzle in sight.

 

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6 Zodiac Signs Who Like Being The Submissive One In Their Relationship

Because dominance is overrated.

In romantic relationships, there are two types of people: the kinds of people who love to take control of plans and situations and those who prefer to stay in the background of things and just let it happen.

Some call these terms “submissive” and “dominant”. People often see them as an exchange of power.

Unless you love either role, playing each can feel risky, but there are certain zodiac signs who know exactly what they want in love, and that’s to give up their power and let another person take the lead.

Now, I’m not talking about in the bedroom. Rather, I’m talking about the everyday aspects of relationships – the nitty gritty stuff that makes you fall in and out of love with a person.

Astrology can tell us a lot about how people behave in relationships.

Taking into account their zodiac sign, you can assess how submissive or dominant zodiac women in relationships will be.

The following female astrological signs are the most likely to display submissive traits that demonstrate their desire to be obliging and amiable towards their partner.

Here are the 6 most powerful zodiac signs who love letting control go when they feel safe enough to be submissive in a relationship.

1. TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)

When it comes to relationships, Taurus women aren’t as dominant as other zodiac signs. They prefer to be indulged with the luxuries that relationships provide – both material and emotional pleasures.

Of course, this isn’t to say that Taurus women aren’t powerful, because they are. Instead, this means that they would rather be passive in the relationship and allow their partner to control the finer details such as where they would like to eat out or when they should leave for an event.

They’re incredibly patient, and OK with waiting for their partner.

2. GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)

Every Gemini woman hates making decisions, especially in relationships. Therefore, you’ll rarely see a Gemini take a dominant role.

Geminis are adaptable and, sometimes, people-pleasers, so relying on their partners to make the important decisions is common for the twins.

In fact, being the submissive one in the relationship helps curb some of Gemini women’s nervousness and anxiety that’s inevitable for most twins in relationships (they worry about what others think of them).

However, Geminis have two personalities; they can be the dominant one on occasion.

3. VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)

Virgo women are fairly shy, which contributes to their desire to be the passive one in a relationship. A Virgo woman is highly critical of herself, so she may prefer to have her partner control different aspects of the relationship because she feels that he or she may be better than she is.

Though, Virgo women may be tempted to be submissive because they believe that is the best way to show how loyal and kind they can be. Regardless, a Virgo woman never oversteps her boundaries and prefers to stay on the sidelines.

4. LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)

Libras are focused on the idea of fairness, so they would like the relationship to allow a changing dynamic. Because Libra women are diplomatic, they will let their partner take the dominant role for a period of time and wait for their turn to be the dominant one in the relationship patiently.

While they may not always prefer the submissive role in the relationship, you can be sure that you’ll see Libra women willingly deferring to their partner in preparation for their turn to wear the pants in the relationship.

5. PISCES (February 19 – March 20)

Whereas other women may just enjoy the position of being the less-dominant one in the relationship, Pisces women like the idea of helping their partner feel empowered and loved. Letting him or her make important decisions and “run the day,” in a sense, may be a Pisces woman’s way of telling her partner that she loves him or her.

Because Pisces women are selfless and endlessly compassionate, they want to please their partner in any ways they can – emotionally and physically. This includes enabling a Pisces woman’s partner to take control of some aspects of the relationship (to an extent, of course).

 

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4 Things Women Do To Attract Men (That Actually Chase Them Away)

The key to what men want when dating.

If you want to know how to get a guy to like you, there’s one thing you need to stop doing: chasing him!

Are you chasing after a man and don’t even know it?

When you chase a man, you not only tend to unwittingly push him away but, in the end, you don’t give him the chance to show you how he really feels about you.

I know how frustrating it is to sit back and let a man drift away.

We want to know what men want in a partner. We want a man to know we’re attracted and interested in him. We want to make it easy for him to ask us out again and consider being in a relationship with us. We want to seem enthusiastic and easygoing.

We know we’re not supposed to be chasing after him and, yet, we’re still doing it and in ways that we’re not even aware of.

We think being friendly is the same as showing interest in a man. We are taught to think that if we act “casual,” a man won’t notice that we’re actually chasing him.

But, the truth is, we are — chasing him, that is. And when we do things that seem like we’re chasing it’s a turn off for a man. He feels smothered and feels an aggressive vibe from you that does nothing to inspire him to want to get closer.

So, if you want to know how to be attractive and get a guy to like you, here are 4 things you need to avoid.

1. Calling him before he calls you

This includes calling him because you heard or read about something interesting. Or maybe you knew there was a great band playing somewhere and thought he might like it. Or someone told you about some great event that you want to invite him to or — anything at all.

It also includes calling to ask why he hasn’t called you.

2. Initiating contact

This involves emailing him, texting him, Facebooking him, sending him a cute card, dropping by his house, or in any way attempting to initiate some kind of contact.

3. Making suggestions or plans

You’re inviting him to come and join you or in any way acting like the social director of the relationship.

4. Asking him how he feels

This includes, especially, asking him how he feels about you or the relationship.

These are things we do almost without even thinking about it. These are things that feel natural to us and we excuse them by thinking we’re just being friendly.

And at the heart of this is one fear: Feeling like we’re going to lose him by not letting him know we’re interested in him. And nothing could be further from the truth!

Everything on this list is the same as putting a sign on your chest that screams needy. It smacks of desperation. And, it’s just plain not attractive to him.

He may like it. He may be flattered. He may have no one else around and so he’ll date you. He may even come to like you very much. You may even end up in a relationship with him.

But, you will never know how he really feels about you.

So, if you want to know how to make him want you, stop chasing after him.

Instead, figure out what men want in relationships and then work on yourself. Genuine attraction won’t be far off.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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How to Forget an Ex for Good: 14 Proven Ways to Happily Move On

Learning how to forget an ex isn’t easy. It doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Try out these 14 tips if you want to forget your ex and move on with your life.

I was never good at moving on from my past relationships. And when social media showed me how I could become the biggest stalker in the world, well, let’s just say I really worked on developing how to forget an ex.

I would spend hours examining posts, trying to figure out the possible hidden messages, see if they were in pain over the breakup, missing every moment of my presence. Obviously, that was mostly my ego doing the social media stalking, but let’s save that for another day.

The point is forgetting an ex isn’t as easy as people think it is.

How to forget an ex – The little steps you need to take

If you were emotionally bonded with someone, you’re breaking that bond. You’re no longer a couple; you’re transitioning to strangers. It’s a weird transition to make, and that’s why it’s so hard to do.

Most of the time, it happens on a whim, and you’re left feeling displaced and shocked. But that doesn’t mean you won’t be able to move on. Yes, it’s a shock, and it’ll be hard, but it’s entirely doable. In other words, your life isn’t over, and you will find love again.

It’s time you moved on and learned how to get over an ex.

#1 Stop stalking. I know you want to see their social media and make sure they haven’t moved on yet. But, you need to stop stalking them. Delete them from all social media, and whatever apps you have them on. How can you move on if they’re constantly in your face? Stop stalking.

#2 Focus on yourself. Um, hello. You’re single now, which means you have all the time in the world to focus on yourself. Tis the season for self-care, and now, it’s time you practiced it. Find a new activity, spend time with your friends and family, or go for hikes. Focus on doing things you enjoy and make you happy.

#3 Get yourself busy. If you’re laying on the couch all day, your mind will be focused on them. You’ll be sitting there, thinking about how they laugh or why they dumped you. It’s not a good move. Instead, get yourself busy. Whether it’s work, school, or volunteering, fill your day up with activities. The less you think about them, the better.

#4 Reflect on the breakup. There are two people in every relationship, meaning you have a responsibility in the relationship as well. It’s time for you to reflect on the relationship and see what went wrong. What were the things you did in the relationship? What should you work on for yourself?

#5 Think about the things you didn’t like. Every relationship has its ups and downs. There are things you liked about your partner and the relationship, and things you didn’t. During a breakup, we tend to only look at the good times. But this is when you should focus on the attributes you didn’t like. For your next relationship, you’ll be more aware of what you don’t want in a partnership.

#6 Hang out with your friends and family. Spend time with your support group as they’re the ones who will stand by you through the ups and downs. Listen to their advice and accept their love and support. And if you want to pull through, you’ll need those people around you.

#7 Don’t force them out of your mind. When it comes to knowing how to forget an ex, if you try too hard to not think about them, it’s not going to work. It’ll do the opposite. Let yourself grieve; this isn’t a race. Grieving isn’t something you can control or force. If they’re on your mind, process these thoughts and feelings. With time, they’ll disappear on their own. 

#8 If you’re still sleeping together, stop. Yeah, I know you think that you can continue sleeping with them without having feelings, but that’s a fairytale. You’ll never be able to move on if you’re still intimate with your ex. The sex may be good, but you know what’s better? Moving on.

#9 Grieve. Breaking up with someone is a grieving process. You no longer have your ex in your life, and it’s a transition. Give yourself the time to be emotional. Cry, scream, yell, get all your emotions out, and go through the process.

#10 Write your feelings down. Your friends and family will eventually get tired of talking about the breakup. This isn’t a bad thing. Really, there’s only so much other people can hear about it. So, write your feelings down, and get out everything that’s floating around in your mind. Just get it out.

#11 Don’t be friends with them. Yeah, I know you think you could be friends with them, but let’s get real here. It’s not going to happen, at least not right now. You can’t grieve and move on if you’re still hanging out with your ex-partner. So take a solid break from them, and when you feel you’ve moved on, then bring them back into your life.

#12 Volunteer and give back. We underestimate the value of giving back. When we’re stuck in our heads, it’s hard to see the good things you have in your life. But volunteering will keep you busy and will direct your time and energy towards giving back.

#13 Plan a trip. Sometimes, you just need to get out of your environment to help you put things into perspective. And you don’t even need to travel the world. A weekend trip to the next town over can do wonders. Plus, a change of scenery can help you reflect and inspire you for the future.

#14 Give yourself time to move on. When there’s a breakup, you want to move on as soon as possible. This is why we rebound and act like everything is okay. But in reality, you’re grieving. It’s going to take months for you to move on, and that’s okay. Give yourself time to move on.

 

Understanding how to forget an ex isn’t something that can be done overnight. But, give yourself a little bit of time, and you’ll move on to greener pastures.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Facebook: phicklephilly       Instagram: @phicklephilly       Twitter: @phicklephilly