Ambria – Chapter 18 – Not So Easy Come, But Easy Go

After the crazy sex over the 4th of July weekend, I was sort of relieved we finally got that part over with in our relationship. I know she was really after it for a while leading up to it. When I think back on it, we were talking about sex on our second date! I was the one who wanted to wait and get to know her before I let the bullets fly. But she had been after me sexually for a while. I could just tell that when she was with me she was always wanting sex.

Now I know most of you are out there thinking… Oh, nice problem to have, pal. But think about it. I’ve already got a girlfriend. I love Cherie. But I felt and instant mental and emotional connection with Ambria. (On the very first date no less.) I mean, I guess I had that with Cherie too, but this was just a whole different vibe. But a good vibe!

But, wouldn’t a hopeless romantic write a dating blog? That’s what I do. I love writing about life, romance and love. I’m not out there trying to bang a bunch of women. I love women. I’m just not that kind of guy.

Never been.

Could I have had intimate relations with Ambria long ago? Absolutely. There was a couple of times when she asked me to just come home with her. I always refused. It’s not until she lured me to the shore that she knew it was do or die for sex, because there was only one bed and we both really dug each other, so all the sex happened.

I’d been nervous about it before it happened. New girl. New place. The moral issues? Not so much. I wasn’t so much as… should I do it? It was more, could I withstand it. Could I maintain the two relationships, and hold it all together?

I did love the thrill of it, but I also liked that Ambria filled in the necessary gaps that Cherie did not. Did I have to have sex with Ambria? Well yea, of course I had to consummate the bond. She was clear that she wanted to get it on with me.

My girlfriend Cherie is a sexual animal. Our sex is mind-bending and some of the best I’ve ever experienced, but I don’t get to see Cherie that much because of our schedules. We’re both really busy and I get it. But lately when I do see her it’s just for an overnight, or a few hours. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m fine with it. A young chick that swings down and bangs the hell out of you and then leaves? Awesome. But I wanted to go hang out and play with Cherie. Go on dates. See movies together, go out to dinner. But like I said, lately she just hasn’t been around and Ambria was there to do all the fun lunches, movies, food and drinks for a while there.

 

But here’s the weird part.

Last week I asked Ambria out to the movies for Monday. We’ve been to the matinée twice and Monday is our day to play hookie and do that. She tells me she can’t because she has a medical conference to attend. No problem. Saw all of her over the holiday weekend and still good with the all the hot sex. Shit happens. Even in her text she was like, “Darn medical conference!”

No worries. I can always find something else to do.

But let’s look at the texts after our little holiday together.

7/4 – Abria: “I made it home in one piece. Thank you for being my travel companion. I had a great time!!”

7/4 – Me: “Me too! Enjoy the rest of the holiday!”

 

7/5 – Me: Happy Monday. Hope it went well. You’re on my mind.

7/5 – Ambria: Hey there, my message didn’t send. Happy Monday. Yes I had some thoughts as well.”

7/5 – Me: “I loved my time with you dear.”

 

7/7 – Me: Happy Friday!

7/7 – Ambria: Happy Friday, kind Sir to you…!

7/7 – Me: “Thanks!”

7/7 – Me: “Want to do movie, and then wine and noodles at Dan Dan on Monday?”

7/7 – Ambria: I can’t I have a medical conference I have to go to (sad face).

7/7 – Me: “I’ll miss seeing you.”

7/7 – Ambria: I know. Damn medical conference!

 

7/8 – Me: “Happy Friday!”

7/8 – Ambria: “Good afternoon, Happy damn Friday to you!!!”

7/8 – Me: “Yay!”

 

7/9 – Me: “Have a Nice Day!”

This is where I think something changed…

7/9 – Ambria:  “You too, thank you.”

 

7/10 – Me: “”Happy Hump Day!”

 

9 hours later I text her a sad-faced emoji…

7/11 – Ambria: Hey there. (Emoji that just has eyes, no mouth.)

 

7/12 – Me: “Where ya been dear?”

7/12 – Ambria: “Been a busy week both working and being out. How about you?”

7/12 – Me: “Me too but mostly work stuff. (Bold faced lie)

 

7/14 – Me: Want to do movie, wine, and noodles at Dan Dan on Monday? (She LOVES the noodles at Dan Dan)

7/14 – Ambria: “Aww shucks, I can’t I have plans already.”

 

I didn’t respond. The writing’s on the wall.

 

I think it’s over.

 

I can understand the medical conference. But after you’ve had sex with someone it sort of cements the relationship. If on your next day off you have you make other plans and they’re not with that person, something’s wrong. We’re adults. She should have said something to me. If it’s something I did I’ll own up to it. We seemed really compatible, but who knows what’s going on in her head.

It could be one or a few things:

1. She’s met someone else and is moving forward with them.
2. Maybe she was just horny and needed sex, and once she got it she moved on to other prey. (Highly doubt this one)
3. Because the train (her orgasm) never arrived at the station over the 4th of July with me, that’s a deal breaker. (That’s a stretch, because she said it was in her head and had nothing to do with me. Also, there are some women who just can’t get off with a man, they can only orgasm on their own.)
4. I don’t pay enough attention to her. (ie: texting more often, making an effort to visit her in her neck of the woods, chatting on the phone, etc.

I’d also like to hear from my readers what their thoughts are on this subject.

So like I said, I didn’t respond. I’d be interested to find out which one of the above it is that caused her to fade out, but maybe I never will.

Here’s the thing. I guess I’ve been at this dating thing for so long I’ve become a little jaded. I enjoyed my time with Ambria, but if this is the end, so be it. I was just filling the holes that Cherie was leaving in my relationship with her. (No pun intended)

“Why chase her when I’m clearly the catch?”

Maybe based on her inability to climax during our little romp in Atlantic City last week, I should have entitled this piece: Uneasy Cum, Easy Go.

 

 

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Cherie – Chapter 38 – In Bloom

Cherie texts me that she has missed her 6pm train and that’s she’s driving down. That actually buys me some time to take care of some of the things I couldn’t today because of other people’s fuck ups. I spray my bedroom with air freshener, Strip the bed and put fresh sheets on it, and remove all the trash and recyclables from my room. I set the music on Pandora to chill, and make sure there are enough chocolates and candles for tonight’s event.

I start walking towards suburban station to meet her at the train. When I get there at 7pm I text her and ask her when is she getting off the train. She texts me back to remind me that she told me that she’s driving in tonight.

Ahhh…. Well now I won’t see her for an hour because she’s out searching for parking now. And that will take her forever knowing Cherie. So I head south on 17th street and stop in the Rite Aid on Chestnut St. I pick up some laundry detergent pellets that my daughter Lorelei wanted and some razors that I desperately needed.

I decide to just head back to my apartment and chill out and wait for the word from Cherie that the eagle has landed.

I get a text from her telling me she got a spot down at 22nd and Bainbridge. I tell her to head North on 22nd street up to Pine and make a right. (Baby has such a poor sense of direction that telling Cherie to go north, is like telling her to go orange) She just doesn’t get it. But I send her a snapshot of the map and she pulls it together. I head out of the apartment and go west on Pine hoping to meet her halfway. I do and when I see her I’m very happy.

It’s been three weeks and Cherie seems a bit quiet. I ask her if she’s okay and she says she is. Just the usual life stresses she always has. I wish her a happy 8 month anniversary, and tell her how pleased I am with how things are going. We get to the house. The day has been a long, hot grind already. I tell her I’m going to take a quick shower to clean up and cool off. I turn on the air conditioner and the music for her. She flops back on the bed to rest.

I’m so happy to be taking this shower. It’ll give me a chance to freshen up before I hop in bed with Cherie. I was in such a rush to get to the salon this morning I didn’t have a chance to shave or do any manscaping. It’s been three weeks since I’ve seen her and I need to keep the instrument in top shape.

I come out in my robe and get on the bed with her. I notice that she’s being a bit coy with me. leading up to today she’s always saying how horny she is and how she can’t wait to tear me apart. But at the moment she’s playing like she’s not that interested. I decide to take matters into my own hands.

I start kissing and caressing her. She starts to come around. I go to work on her to get her warmed up and it works beautifully. She starts like a brand new car.

After our joyous activity that goes on until 11:30pm she laughs and apologizes for being a bit aloof earlier. She was just being a baby because she hadn’t seen me in a while and was frustrated.

Well I pounded that frustration right out of her and Cherie loved every inch of it.

Have I gone too far with my words? This is a dating blog, not a sex blog. But how I wish I could describe in graphic detail how amazing sex is with Cherie. It,s an absolute delight.

We fall asleep around midnight, and all is right with the world.

Cherie gets up around 3am to go to the bathroom. When she returns she reaches over and gently coaxes me awake and then to arousal. We go for another round of mind bending sex. We finally settle down around 4am and go back to sleep. I know she said she had to be on the road by 8:30am so I set the alarm for 6:30.

 

The next morning she said she doesn’t HAVE to be on the road by 8:30, so I let her sleep in and I take a shower. It’s been a delightful night. I wish we had more time so we could go out and do things together more, but if this is the way it is right now, so be it. It’s cheap and super fun.

Gents… wouldn’t you like to know that once or twice a month some hot girl is going to stop by your house and bang the hell out of you and then get off the property?

Damn straight you would.

When we’re up and ready I decide to take her to Honey’s Sit n’ Eat at 21st and South. It’s a great breakfast spot. The food is fresh and delicious, the staff is nice, but it’s a little pricey. The place couldn’t be more perfect. It’s literally two blocks from where her car’s parked and we get a table immediately.

I will say this though. When we entered, I walked up to the counter. The hostess wasn’t there yet. I’m there and Cherie is just a step behind me. There is no one else standing there. Just us two. The hostess arrives and says hello. I say:

“Table for two.”

“Has your other party arrived yet?”

I turn around to Cherie and say: “Yea. She’s right here.”

“Come with me.”

What the fuck? Is it because there is no way a middle-aged, white gentleman coming into this breakfast nook couldn’t possibly be with this visibly younger, attractive black girl?

What the fuck? I talked to Cherie about this later, and told her how appalled I was by the stupid hostess’ ignorance. She said, if she didn’t have to be on the road back home in and hour she would have simply said: “Let’s go.”

What the hostess did, felt a little racist. I know everybody’s sensitive nowadays, but I’m very aware of that shit now that I’m with a black chick. They have it rough in this world. Shit’s not fair. And there is no white person in this country that can say they know what’s it’s like to be born black in America.

But to end this on a positive note, the breakfast was amazing. Baby’s belly was full. I was satisfied and ready to go work at the salon, and I got her to her car safely and off she went.

I’ll see her when I see her. (As my father used to say)

 

 

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Sun Stories: Aishah – The Wages of Fear – Chapter 6

I was waiting for Aishah to appear the next Thursday for some more fear management but she didn’t show. At least not yet. But it was getting late and I thought she may have bailed. She needed to tan for her trip but I would just have to wait and see.

It felt a little weird. I mean the whole thing felt surreal. A model pretty girl comes to the salon to tan for a vacation and is paralyzed by extreme claustrophobia. I could never had seen it coming.

I left the doors open late on thursday in case Aishah wanted to come in. I mopped the floors and folded the towels and hoped she’d come in, but like Kita and Delaney maybe she’d simply ghosted me.

It happens in this business. It’s a luxury product. The girls come and go as they please. Spring break, prom, weddings, formal, or getting ready for the shore. That’s what we do.

I think back on how intimate our last encounter was.

The terrified claustrophobic and the voyeur. It was perfect. Her words about me sitting in the room with her while she tanned. Her lithe body. My lustful gaze. It was all so perfect to me.

I was happy to help, but to gaze upon such a vulnerable beauty was pure sex to me. I would always be the professional but I couldn’t resist the raw lust I felt gazing upon her perfect body naked before me.

It al; seemed wrong but so right in my twisted mind. Aishiah is so beautiful, and it’s almost like she enjoys me looking upon her. I understand the sickness and all, and we treat many clients for excema, seboria ,and psoriasis, but this us a new animal.

This is erotic in it’s treatment.

I can’t help but feel aroused looking upon this gorgeous young angel lying naked before me.

It was an awkward and weird moment but I did what she asked and we were cool. I have literally seen it all at this salon and I’m here to help.

I don’t know what to do and I don’t know what’s going to happen next. Maybe she’ll never return to the salon.

That would be good. Just never come back and then I never need to deal with this again. that would be perfect.

 

Why is Aishah not coming back in?

Should I text her?

No, that’s nuts and I should never do that.

Why is this driving me nuts?

 

Because I love her, (in a phicklephilly way) and she’s pretty, and I adore the vice of this dark transaction.

That’s what’s really going on.

She’ll never be back. Probably too good to be true.

 

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What You’re Taught vs. What You Want

I have worked in financial services for 20 years and advertising for 10. I’ve been very successful due to my skill in sales. But I’m done with the rat race and corporate America. It’s all a big lie.

We all do it to buy houses and get wives and kids and the American dream and it’s all a fat lie. But everybody’s buying it and they can’t invest fast enough or stay in it as long as they can as debtors because that’s what they’ve been sold and taught, and it’s all a lie.

You’re father told you to never to be a liar but that’s what you’re all living.

Imagine how you’re spending your life. In your apartment, Watching football with your bro’s or reading your comic books or whatever, and a lovely lady would come over maybe once a week and fuck you and love you. You are her one and only, and then when you’re done with dinner and sex and whatever else, she goes away until you summon her again for the same loving experience?

Perfect right?

You can’t. That’s for young men. You must marry, and get a house. mortgage and have kids. That’s what you’ve been sold so hard that you have lost yourself. You don’t know what you want anymore because your afraid your dream will fade. Your stupid legacy. Your shitty bloodline will end because of some shit your parents told you.

Lies.

All men want a lovely girl to make love to and have a cool life with,  but think about it…it’s bullshit.

The marriage is a fortune. We hate that we have to spend two months salary on a ring. What huge diamond conglomerate set that number? Everything in this country is about making money.

It’s sad.

Hey, spend a thousand dollars on a dress that you’re only going to wear once! It’s a giant party that costs a fortune. All the planning and everything. It’s awful. I’ve done it and will never do it again. She twirls around in a white dress for one night in front of her family and friends, and the guy is not allowed to ever have sex with anyone else again.

I think it would be better if you just get married at the court-house, if you absolutely feel that you need to be legally bound to another person. It would be nice if everybody would just send money and that would be it.

Most people just settle anyway. They’ve run out of options or are simply tired of looking. Most women start panicking around 27 years of age and start getting serious about finding some shlub to help them pay down their revolving debt they cranked up in their 20’s buying handbags, booze, shoes, and vacations.  They get a roof over their head and then start cranking out babies.

That’s it. Replicated a million times all over the world.

Thousands of dollars for the mortgage, the cars, and the kids!

Kids are an absolute fortune. Let’s have children so we will both have to work very hard for a very long time. What’s the point? There’s too many people in the world already. Then you have to get a bigger house in the suburbs where they have better schools.

They will push and struggle to make a bunch of money for a lifestyle that is absolute bullshit. It’s boring! What guy would want to work that hard and that long? Deal with a wife and kids everyday? It’s really not something I think most men realize they are getting into.

It’s almost never the guy’s idea to get married. The first set up is usually the best. You have your place, she has hers, sometimes you’re together and sometimes you’re alone. Perfect set up. That’s the set up I currently enjoy.

But what happens? Biological clock starts ticking.

“What are we doing? Where is this going?”

When you start to hear that shit, either run, or just surrender fellas.

Game over.

But it’s not all women’s fault. Some guys are just too insecure to be alone. They want that one chick that they can have sex with because they’re either not good at hunting, or have simply lost the will, or don’t have the fatal charm to go out and date.

I bet if you did a survey, and you could get the men to be honest, most would agree they would like to sit on the porch or go to a game, drink beer with their bro’s and get the occasional sex that’s consistent, and then just be left alone.

How cool would it be if Cinderella turned into a pizza and a six pack at midnight after she fucked your brains out for two hours and got off the property?

It’s sad. I hate seeing a bunch of broken down losers working their fucking asses off and getting pulled into jobs that mean nothing so they can support their lifestyles they built and they never really wanted any of that.

It’s all a lie.

We all want a simple uncluttered life, and we all end up miserable debtors.

Most people don’t have the courage to be alone.

To be in a room by yourself and take a deep breath and say:

Maybe marriage isn’t for me.

Somebody has to say this stuff, so it might as well be me.

Have a great week!

 

 

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Ambria – Chapter 17 – Atlantic City – Part 5

After last night’s mad sex and boozing, Ambria passed out. It was obvious she drank too much, but we’re adults and in a safe location so who cares. The sex was intense. But unlike me, Ambria isn’t as sexually powerful as myself. She fell asleep. I was still wide awake from all of the fun activity.

I was sipping my drink, and realized I hadn’t eaten in over eight hours. So I grabbed the keys and quietly left the room. I hopped in the elevator and went downstairs.

The Ritz Carlton is right on the boardwalk. It’s Fourth of July weekend. The town is in full swing. This is sin city!

I don’t want to gamble, but I really want to do something I shouldn’t after all that booze at 11pm at night. I don’t live like this. But I did what I knew I shouldn’t do. I walked into Tony Luke’s and ordered a big old cheese steak and fries.

I’m sure you all assumed I did something much worse, but I never eat like that anymore. I love a good breakfast, I dig a modest late lunch, and then a very light supper at dusk.

I know what could happen, but I’ve been drinking, I’m hungry after getting my freak on for the last few hours, and I want a fucking cheese steak!

I go back up to the room and obviously, my girl is deeply asleep. The cheese steak and fries is sooo good. It’s just what I need. Oh, that and the large Diet Coke to wash it all down.

After I stuff my head I’m so satisfied. It’s been an electric day and night. I crawl into bed and pass out within a few minutes.

Here’s why I shouldn’t have done that.

1. My body knows its own schedule in regard to diet. It’s pretty consistent.
2. I’ve been drinking oceans of booze with Ambria tonight. We didn’t quit drinking early. We boozed for hours. Despite the alcohol the sex wasn’t affected at all. (That I know of. Everything was fully functional and it was hot.)
3. I just ate a pile of greasy proteins and carbohydrates.
4. And now I’m passing out.
5. When you’re boozed up you pass out, but don’t really get a solid nights sleep. Part of that time you’re unconscious, your body is busy still processing the alcohol in your system.
6. Now you’ve added a whole food digestion event into this nocturnal slumber. You’re probably going to feel much worse tomorrow morning.

 

The next morning I felt like shit. It’s rare I ever feel hungover anymore because I always drink a lot of water when I’m out drinking. But that drinking is usually a happy hour that consiste of two cocktails in two hours and then home. Or, a few glasses of wine and then home.

It’s not oceans of hard liquor and then greasy food tossed in on top of it all. That just turns into rocket fuel.

The best thing to do is moderation, hydration and then solid sleep. The next morning a good breakfast with fruit and protiens and vegtables will bring you forward through your day.

Ambria is already up and getting dressed. She seems fine. I feel like I’ve been thrown into a dumpster. I know I’ll feel better later but probably not until well after 3pm.

I jump into the shower and that helps. When I’m finished, I pack up and we head out of the room. Ambria says something about some breakfast place she likes to hit when she’s in town and asks if I want to do that.

Normally I’d be down for a new breakfast spot but right now I just feel too sick. The Irish flu is upon me.

I tell her I’d just like to get on the road and hit up a Wawa and get some crackers, a banana, some water and ginger ale.

Ambria seems annoyed, but I’m really not feeling well and I’m kinda done with being here today. Had I felt better, I would have done whatever she wanted, but i just wasn’t feeling it anymore. I just wanted to feel better.

I’m set in my ways at my age, and even though I am very flexible and affable, I’ve been with the same girl for the last 48 hours and I’m done. I want to be back in Philly. It’s the fourth of July today, and I don’t have to be in work until tomorrow, so I just need my solitude and recovery.

I’ll be fine by late afternoon.

Ambria and I have been dating for a few months. We just had cataclysmic sex. It was her idea. I did what I was supposed to do. I performed accordingly. The vodka/urethra incident was painful, but I get a story out of it. I am in a place in my life where there’s only some key things I need in my life.

The good thing was, it was a nice day. A clear day helps clear ones head. We stop at Wawa and I get the things to help cure my self inflicted illness. Ambria picks up a couple of items and we’re back on the road.

As time passes the conversations are fine, and there’s no traffic which is great.

We get back to Philly in about 2 hours and I’m happy to home and off for the rest of the day.

Ambria pulls up about a block from my house, I kiss her and tell her what a wonderful time I’ve had and thank her for making my 4th of July extraordinary.  I grab my bag and get out of the Jeep. I wave bye and tell her we’ll text and probably meet up again next Monday. (Our usual date day because we’re both off)

Ambria drives off and I walk up to my house. Once in I unpack and sit down at my desk and open my laptop. I do some writing, and just feel relieved it’s over.

The whole weekend has been a challenge. (You may be thinking… a chalenge? You just got taken to the shore and ate, drank and fucked away at the Ritz Carlton!)

But I run my life a certain way now. I like to work. I have a set schedule, and if I hang out with someone I know exactly how that’s going to be. Where, when, and for how long. There was a lot of unknows here, travel, strage place, pressuer to perform, and retched excess.

I don’t do that anymore, but I’m glad it’s behind me and Ambria and I can move on from here. I kind of want to get back to the dating part of our relationship.

We’ll see what happens now.

Either way, I have Cherie so I’m in a position  of power here.

 

 

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Tales of Rock – Kris Kristofferson

This is one of my all time favorite Tales of Rock posts. It’s just such a great story! I love it!

 

Among all of the thousands of rock artists who have recorded a song, talented Kris Kristofferson probably has the most impressive background.

 

Kris is the son of a retired U.S. Air Force Major General. In high school Kris was Class President, honor student, and football star. He was a Rhodes Scholar and attended Oxford University. He has authored several books and won first prize in a collegiate short-story contest sponsored by the Atlantic Monthly. In school he played football and was a Golden Gloves boxer.

In Vietnam he was a helicopter pilot. He was an Army Captain and attended flight school. As a civilian, he flew helicopters and served as a janitor at the Nashville Recording Studio. He is a Grammy winner and has appeared in numerous movies, including A Star is Born, playing opposite Barbara Streisand.

He has also composed such hit songs as Me and Bobby McGee and Help Me Make It Through The Night.

Now that, is an impressive resume and a fantastic life!

 

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Duncan – Saturday – Part 2

Duncan is chill and he’s just happy to be in Philly. He swings by the salon and has resigned himself to the fact that I need to work a million hours at the salon to get our business going.

He knows that It’s down to me and Achilles to keep the business going. Instead of crying that we can’t spend the day stalking comic book stores and strip joints he comes to the gym and works out.

I love this.

My schedule is stuck and I have to do what I have to do for the business. It’s just the world I live in now and we all get it. (It won’t always be like this.)

In the old days Duncan would come up and we would spend a whole week living in the same house. I would drink, he’d smoke pot, we’d watch movies and listen to music.  We’d watch some crazy videos on TV and barbecue, but those days are long gone.

We’re so much older now. Duncan doesn’t crash on my couch anymore. My daughter Lorelei lives with me. Duncan stays at 5 star hotels now. He’s successful. We’re middle-aged. No more crazy times. We still enjoy laughing our asses off at our own jokes and finding things to get into in the city.

But it’s different now. There’s no AC/DC concert today. (Those guys are too old and banged up to play anymore!) Just us. I have to run my business. He’s on the phone with his team at Well Fargo.

But they can’t take our core from us. When he finishes working out in my gym on Walnut Street, we’re going to go drink at City Tap House and get the hookup from my man Zach.

As we get older I see that Duncan has become so much more patient and less impetuous from our younger years. He’s putting up with the fact that I have a different lifestyle now. A salon and fitness center needs attention beyond the 9 to 5 we were so accustomed to.

We do get some special guests that show up unexpectedly

There was this delicious slender Kuwaiti girl who started tanning here last season that suddenly shows up with her friends late in the day. We know these babies come from rich families because there is no other way they could be here in Philly right now.

“Hey do you remember me?”

Shahed?

“Well done! Is it Charles?”

“Well done!”

I have brought my friends with me!”

(They’re all smoking hot)

I’m stupid happy to see Shahed again and her hot friend Baba and send them both to tan. There is another girl there named Malak that blows them both aways and is Kardashian Hot. Raven hair, milky skin, lips, tits, and body all amazing.

Duncan is a good-looking and fit man but clueless when it comes to the fairer sex, so I lead in with just some general questions.

I don’t want the non tanner to feel threatened or isolated from her friends.

We have a great conversation. I light it like always. She’s a finance major and Duncan is  CFA god, so she’s fascinated. If these guys could just turn their work gifts into picking up girls gifts they’d be fine but they can’t join the two, Sales and power is the same thing. They just don’t connect and can’t see that sales and dating are the same things.

I help him and I can see he;s actually doing well with this Persian cutie.

I love Duncan. My goal has always been same since the 90’s is. If he’s going to make the trip here, give him everything you can. I’ve always trued to do that every time.

I’ll never forget the moment when the girls were done tanning and they all just perched around Duncan like pretty birds and chatted with us. We discussed different restaurants.

They spoke of a really good restaurant in University City that served food that was similar from where they came from.

I joked that we had no idea where it was so they should take us there. surprisingly they seemed cool with that. (Only I could close that)

They are all gorgeous middle eastern babies and I loved the time we spent with them but in the salon. But like my own life, everything is fleeting.

We may never see them again. But surprisingly the Kardashian did inquire about personal training. So that could be a miracle in 2019.

All of these girls are super smart and will take all of their gifts back to Kuwait, But I do have a plan to take one of these girls out to gelato at Gran Caffee L’ Aliquila.

I know. I want to do it. I really want Shahad, but I’d settle on the tall one who keeps looking at me.

I don’t care.

I’ll figure it out like I always do.

The birds giggle away and bound down the steps. I plot my next move. I don’t share this with Duncan, but I’ll eventually tell him how I deflowered at least one of these sweet girls.

I wrap it up at the salon, and Duncan has stretched himself and worked his body out hard enough that he’s ready to be in the next Mission Impossible movie. I think Duncan has really enjoyed the presence of these fresh Kuwaiti babes.

Smart and beautiful. I know Duncan and I find them both intoxicating. But the presence of these girls is what it is and we must let go.

We lock the salon and make our way to City Tap House. My man Zack is behind the stick and I know my Manhattans are FREE.

We hit this big sports bar and Duncan follows my lead. We luck out and land a pair of seats at this enormous sports bar. Tons of tables and a bar that goes on forever

I spot Zack and he’s running. We are here on the day before the Superbowl . It’s a celabratory mess. But my boy Zack is running. I don’t even think he see’s me/my friend. Duncan is happy we got some seats.

Suddenly a Manhattan neat lands in front of me with a brandied cherry at her core. I want to take her so bad. Hot bartender Nicole grabs Duncan and they settle on a draft.

I’m so happy to be with my friend. He gets his beer and asks the server for a plate of carrots and celery. I don’t get it. A side of wings would have worked for me. But for the last 20 years, what ever my friend wants. Normally all he wants is my six-gun ribs, but I never make that anymore.

We hang at the bar. Zach is God. (And when I say God… I mean Free Bulliett Rye Manhattans with a brandied berry)

I chat with lovely Devon and she tells us that most events are ticketed so we’re fucked for the Superbowl. (But we’ll figure it out)

Our bar bill is zero.

We’re happy. But Duncan needs comfort food so we go to Marathon at 16th and Sansom.

He destroys a salad and helps me with an order of mac n cheese that is a $10 dish. Clearly my boy doesn’t eat enough.

My boy Brandon (Beverage Manager for all three locations) stops by the table and says hello. So that one Manhattan’s is free. I get my favorite barbeque chicken sandwich and we’re good. I tell them my Marathon Reward Card doesn’t work and they give me another one. (That one failed too, but we’ll figure it out) I don’t give a shit as long as my friend is happy… I’m happy.

My friend Francesca stops by the table. (See: Francesca – 2014 to Present – Monday Feels Like Friday) She and some other of her co-workers got laid off at her job, so I hooked her up with a job here at Marathon. She used to waitress down the shore in college so she’s already a seasoned pro here. I tell her we’re going back to the Hotel Palomar to hang at Square 1682 after dinner. She says if she gets cut early she’ll swing by for a drink.

Duncan and I have evolved in our friendship. We used to get plowed and hit South street. Now we go to better eateries and bars and sip fine liquor and eat better food. Just a couple of middle-aged men that don’t like a too much noise or drama.

From Tattooed Moms to the Ritz Carlton. Duncan points this out to me. I like it.

There is a peacefulness in middle age. I love that we’ve both finally arrived there together.

I don’t see Duncan for long periods of time but I fucking love this guy. I hope I know him until I die. He’s one of the best people I know.  Just a good man who I’m glad has chosen to keep me in his life.

Dinner is great and our waitress is a doll. We close with one more at Square 1682 at his hotel.

Tomorrow is the Superbowl and we have no plan. We have no tickets to anything, and I’m working until 4pm so we’re basically fucked.

I need to come up with a plan for me and my friend tomorrow. He’s come up here for his 50th birthday and the Eagles are in the Superbowl.

They’ve never won.

They’re playing against the 5 times winning New England Patriots. Apparently Tom Brady is the most hated man in sports since Derek Jeter.

I need to come up with something. I don’t want my friend to be disappointed tomorrow. Every bar in the city will be packed and insane. I don’t finish at the salon until 4pm.  Anybody that wants to watch the Super bowl should already have staked out there space at the bar somewhere.

Duncan has put up with me working through his birthday/Superbowl weekend already. I just feel like I’m failing him as a host and a friend. But I have to do what needs to be done and we’ll make it work just like we always do. But I still feel bad that I don’t have a plan for the Superbowl.

But there is something between us where when we’re pressed against a wall, we always prevail.

Tomorrow is Superbowl Sunday and we will make it work.

We always do and it’s glorious.

We’ve done it before and we’ll do it again. Just like we always do.

 

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Duncan – Touchdown – Part 1

Duncan had planned on coming into town to visit me. It had been a while since we’d hung out. But this was a very special weekend. He was turning 50 and the Philadelphia Eagles were playing in the Super Bowl.

Whenever his plane lands he always texts me the signal: “Touchdown.” I know he’s landed in Philly and the fun is about to begin. But in that moment I didn’t realize how his phrase would ring true this fateful weekend.

My schedule has changed since he last was up here in Philly. I work every day and only get every other Saturday off. I don’t mind because I love to work and stay busy. We’ve got two businesses to run and this blog’s not going to write itself.

While I was walking into work today, I realized that even though we don’t see each other very often, Duncan is my very best friend. We’ve known each other for 20 years.

He later rolls into the salon on Friday afternoon. It’s great to see him. He walks up to me and practically jumps into my arms.

I give him the tour of the gym and salon. It’s been over a year since he’s seen it. The last time he was here the space was an empty husk of a fallen restaurant. Now it’s a busy tanning salon with a personal training fitness center up front. We’ve come a long way since then. He’s impressed.

We takes a seat in the waiting area and we chit-chat. This time together gives us a chance to catch up on what’s happening in each other’s lives. It’s been slow at the salon so we can talk. Duncan also likes all of the young attractive women that come in to tan. It’s like an endless pageant of beauty.

I get a couple of cheese steaks and sodas delivered and we happily munch them, while bringing each other up to date. We discuss current events, business, work, the women in our lives, and most of all Super Bowl LII.

When I finish we decide to go to Duncan’s favorite bar at the Ritz Carlton. He stayed there last year and we loved it. I got him a more modern and less expensive room at the Hotel Palomar at 17th and Sansom. But there’s no bar that looks like what’s at the Ritz Carlton. It’s a vast space with high ceilings surrounded by pillars. It’s like you’re having a drink at a beautiful white marble bar in ancient Rome. (But with all the modern amenities) If you ever get to Philly, check it out.

We park it at the bar and Duncan goes for his favorite: Rum, Bailey’s and Cream. It’s like a White Russian but more like a milkshake for adults. I like my drinks with a touch of evil so I go for the Manhattan, Bulliet Rye, Sweet Vermouth and brandied cherries. A lethal and elegant classic cocktail.

We get into it. We’ve been friends for 20 years. We know basically everything about each other. But there’s always new material. Stuff you know, but we go for the deeper dive. We both have issues with our parents. Who doesn’t our age? Especially boys.

We agree that the only way we could have moved forward in our lives was to forgive them and embrace all of the great things they did. Not dwell on the horrific things they did to us growing up.

We used to just listen to heavy metal and go to concerts and eat and party in the old days.

We relive those days of simple joy. Building our time together around concerts, meals, drinks, drugs and fun. But now we’re both men in middle age that have held our friendship through truth and our common interests. But mostly growing up in the same era and loving all of the same things.

The pain we suffered growing up has always been there, but tonight in middle age we let loose and agree to forgive. My gentle friend’s childhood was way worse than mine. Our parents were so good to us and they did the best they could, but why the violence against us?

Nothing good came from any of that. It was all just an emotional and physical release for them to escape from their own pain and frustration. None of our sisters knew this, but the sons did. The humiliation. The beatings. It was awful.

How could you do that to a child. By today’s standards, it is a 911 call.

I know my best friend’s life was worse than mine. There is always someone who’s had it worse than you.

I Love Duncan and treasure him as my distant best friend. We are always connected even though there are miles between us.

Our cylinders run an engine of friendship that transcends time and space. Business, values, marriage, relationships, philosophy, politics. comedy, film, Star Wars, comics, music. Everything. I just adore him.

20 years. You can’t build that without your ups and downs but there’s love there. It’s something we both have wanted our entire lives. I met my very best friend 20 years ago through the banking industry.

You never know when you’re going to meet a best friend. Sometimes you don’t even know who they are when you have them. But you open your eyes one day in this fleeting life and there they are 20 years later and you are just as you were when you first started.

You love all of the same stuff. There’s a little bit of new stuff, but the vein runs through it and it is pure. That’s your guy. He gets you. He knows your secrets and all of your fuck ups and weaknesses and he hangs in there anyway.

You can tell him anything and he won’t ever judge you. That’s a friend. He has all of his shit, and you have yours. You have both taught each other to forgive those that have hurt you. They only were doing the best they could with what they had.

They’re lives were so much harder than ours. Their parents came from a harder place and were even more ignorant than we are. But we’re the next generation and we love them. They did so many great things and that outweighs most of the awful mistakes that they made with us.

 

I’m plowing Manhattan’s and Duncan is destroying his White Russians like he’s John Bonham. Then for the first time in our 20 year relationship we finally dig into the darkness.

The agonizing pain of our childhoods and how ignorant our parents were. I describe what happened to me and with Duncan I feel safe in telling him what my childhood was like.

Then he describes incidents from his childhood and I am horrified and tears come to my eyes because I can’t imagine that happening to my friend.

It’s way worse than any of my punishments and almost seem like a call to child services would have been in order back then.

But as awful as it all is as we laugh and throw our cocktails back we discuss forgiveness and understanding. We both realize where our parents were in their lives back then. Where they came from and how far they came with all of us kids.

It was a different time back then and they didn’t know any better. They really did a lot of great things. Fantastic things for us kids, but there were moments where they made missteps that marked us forever.

They could never have foreseen the long-term effect on how what they gave us would propel us into greatness, but in that same moment, provide a weight, a nearly disabling weight that could destroy us in the same moment.

Some of their children would prevail and soar high and clean. Others would crawl from the wreckage of their upbringing broken and fragile, but would still find their way.

Maybe these birds cast from the nest would find their way and eventually fly back to the nest and rescue their own parents from their on demise.

Simply as an act of kindness.

Because they had become good people.

They were able to take the best of what they learned from their parents, and forgive the worst. Learn from it and be the best people they could be.

That’s my Duncan.

It’s late and we’re elated but wiped out. The bill comes and it’s $200. My God.

Duncan pays it.

I feel a twinge of regret but he insists. The weekend is only getting started and I’m stupid happy to see him.

I love Duncan. Our history is so rich, we could write a phicklphilly book just about our stories. (I probably will)

Our friendship has aged beautifully. Middle age hasn’t been kind to any of us, but we’re still tight as super glue. Our friendship has transcended time and space. We still love and hate all of the same stuff together. Now we’re in our fifties and I would love nothing more than to sit beside my dear friend watching whatever new Star Wars incarnation Disney can create and be happy.

We just want to share a moment, a drink, and a laugh.

We’ll do more than that this weekend, but for now… I’m just happy to have him in my life after all of this time.

 

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My Husband Has Admitted To Having Feelings For A Woman At Work, But Says He Still Loves Me. Should I Worry?

Here’s a post from on of my female followers. I thought it was worth sharing.

If I had to name the most common place where infidelity happens, it would be at the work place. I would say that the vast majority of the correspondence that I get about cheating and affairs happen in a work place setting. And I often hear from people who are concerned about a relationship that they see forming at their spouse’s job.

I recently heard from a wife who said, in part: “I had a strong suspicion that my husband was developing feelings for a woman at his work every time I saw the two of them together. I also couldn’t help but notice that he constantly talked about her and often mentioned them having lunch together, sometimes without others present. When I confronted him about this, at first he denied that anything was wrong. He said that they were just colleagues who had a lot of projects together. But later, I found some texts from her that were very flirty in nature. So, once again, I confronted him and he continued to deny everything. But this time, I continued to press him and eventually, he broke down and admitted that he had “strong romantic feelings” for this woman, but insisted that he still loved me and was committed to our marriage and therefore, would never act on his feelings. My husband has never lied to me, so I want to believe him. But in the back of my mind, I wonder if I should be worried about this. It’s not a good sign when your husband admits to having romantic feelings for someone else. So what should I do about this? Am I right to worry?”

I believe that the wife was right to feel concerned. From all of the correspondence that I get that outline affairs (even only emotional ones) at work, I can tell you that feelings that aren’t even acted upon can absolutely seriously harm your marriage. Not only that, but it’s not at all uncommon for people to eventually act upon these feelings even when they never intended to do so. And finally, sometimes people will insist that they only have feelings, when in fact they are trying to spare the feelings of their spouse by denying an affair (emotional or physical) that actually does exist.

Sometimes when I share my feelings on this, I’m accused of being paranoid or distrustful. But, I think that I’d rather someone be paranoid but proactive than being trusting but later very sorry when they’re trying to recover from full-fledged infidelity. It’s easier to prevent an affair than to recover from one, in my experience and opinion.

What To Do When Your Husband Admits To Having Feelings For Someone Else, But Denies Acting On These Feelings: This is only my opinion from my own experience, but I believe that just sitting back and hoping for the best is a mistake that I see happening over and over again. You can still make every attempt to believe and trust your spouse while being proactive about saving and safe guarding your marriage. When your husband has admitted to feeling romantic and loving toward someone else (who he sees and interacts with on a close and personal level every day,) then my feeling is that you are justified in taking action.

One suggestion might be to see if your husband can stop having to work so closely with her. Can he transfer, move to another department or partner with someone else? This may sound drastic, but again it’s usually much easier to prevent infidelity than the heal or recover from it. And, if you get resistance from your husband, then this will give you some important clues as to how he really feels and how invested he is in any close relationship with her.

Another thing that you will want to consider is strengthening and safe guarding your marriage. You want to make sure that things are very good at home so that he won’t have any reason to lament his marriage or talk about what it lacks with this other woman. You want to make it so that the two of you are as connected as you can possibly be. And, it’s certainly not a bad idea to swing by and have lunch with him as much as you possibly can. After all, when he’s having lunch with you, he won’t be meeting with her and she will see that your marriage is his reality and that it is solid and still very much in tact.

You also might want to look at where your marriage is vulnerable. Many women will deny that there are issues or problems, but I would argue that if your husband is developing feelings for someone else, then there are likely issues somewhere. There are likely vulnerabilities that you may not have considered or noticed, but which are most certainly coming into play. And again, if your husband is resistant to exploring these issues to strengthen your marriage, this might be indicative or what is truly going on with him and how deep his commitment really is to her or to you and your marriage. Because men will sometimes say words of reassurance, only to lack the actions to follow them through in the end.

This is not always the case, of course. Sometimes, a husband will do exactly what you’ve asked of him and the relationship or feelings for the other woman will fizzle out once you prioritize your marriage. However, to answer the question posed, yes, I do feel that there are plenty of reasons to worry, be concerned, or at least pay attention when your husband admits having feelings for someone else, even if he swears he’d never act on them. In my view, it’s better to be concerned and to take swift action than to vow not to worry, only to regret it later.

I know from experience that it’s easier to strengthen your marriage than it is to recover from an affair. My husband was unfaithful during the course of his job and I just didn’t see it coming. Since you have a warning and a head’s up, you don’t need to allow this to happen to you.

 

Thanks. I hope this was helpful. I’d like to hear your thoughts on this piece.

 

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Maria – Chapter 8 – I Get To See You Again

Maria, my muse and inspiration for this blog has agreed to meet with me again for lunch. I have a bottle of wine for her to donate to her cause. I want to do anything I can for Maria.

Here’s the rub. It’s March. Winter is on its ass as my father would say here in Philly, but you never know what March can bring. Maria is trying to get her degree and busting her butt to get her studies in order but she is leading the charge on this fund-raiser.

The event is on Sunday. It’s Friday and she’s running around trying to get all of the last-minute details done before the event.

And make time for lunch with me.

I leave my apartment in Rittenhouse. Lorelei is asleep because she works at night too.

I step out onto Pine street with my umbrella and it’s a snow storm. Giant flakes falling and blowing. Insane. It’s not cold enough for it to stick but it is just a mess outside.

This is not good. Maria could bail. I get that.

I’m ready. We’re meeting at Marathon on 16th and Sansom. I know the owner. He gave me a $25 gift card and I’m ready to burn it on my unemployed muse.

I weather the storm and make my way to the restaurant.

I know everyone there and they welcome me. They put me at a nice table at the window on Sansom.

I shoot video of the crazy weather and send it to my ex girlfriend Michelle but she doesn’t respond.  She lives in San Francisco now and I ask her if she can guess where I am but all I get is crickets. (See: Michelle – A Brand New Day)

Maria says she’s on her way.

I’m just trying to dry out and my umbrella is soaked, but I’m just happy I’ve been able to spend time with her.

Maria shows up quickly and looks amazing. I only say this because even if my muse is disheveled she will always look amazing to me because of what she means to me.

Maria leaves her little winter hat on the entire lunch and it looks so cute. But like I said. She can do no wrong at this point.

I know Maria doesn’t see the weight of this. Oblivious and happy for the donations. I am honored to oblige. I’m sure that Maria has no idea of the depth that she has inspired my art. She’s just a regular girl making her way in Philly. But somehow through her actions and her impression on me she has inspired phicklephilly.

Maria is checking her phone and upset that her coworkers may not be pulling hard enough on this event to raise gifts and money.

I totally get it. I’ve managed people before and you always want them to be like you. But they can never be you. That’s the catch with management. You’re always frustrated because your staff can never be as good as you.

It’s a never-ending cycle.

Maria is so frustrated. She goes with the tuna albacore wrap. I hope she likes it and doesn’t get sick.

I destroy my favorite, the barbecued chicken sandwich with fries. I like that Maria picks at my fries. I love sharing anything with her.

It’s a lovely moment. The snow is falling and we’re at a nice table at the window.

I’m having lunch with the woman who I was once infatuated with that inspired me to write again after 10 years. There’s nothing special about her. I think she’s beautiful. She’s charming and has lovely legs. (My usual attraction) She’s dating the owner of the company she works for, her familiar challenges. Maria is 3 months away from getting her degree in Marketing, and now she’s stuck looking for a serving job somewhere in Philly to pay the bills.

My muse has hit another wall but continues to march forward and find her way.

My unrequited love for Maria is classic phicklephilly fodder, but what if my realization that Maria is not meant for me but for a greater purpose?

What if we see Maria in a year successful in her career and through with all of this restaurant bullshit?

I’ve worked in media in this city for years. I have loads of contacts and would do anything to help her.

Maria liked her tuna albacore wrap. She ate half of it and didn’t get sick. Our server at Marathon was amazing and I burned my $25 gift card that had been given to me by the owner because he works out at our gym.

So even though Maria ordered a glass of champagne our bill was $10.

I was happy to give her the bottle of wine because it was a gift and I knew I’d never drink it.

I’m in a relationship with Cherie. I love her with all of my heart, But I did feel the romantic rush of being with Maria for a third encounter. I know it means nothing to her and she’s busy with her own survival and her own romantic entanglements, but it was just sweet to be with Maria.

My inspiration.

She can do no wrong.

I’ll text her job offers and she won’t get back to me.

It’s okay.

That’s Maria.

(She actually did!)

Thank you for the inspiration.

We step out into the snow. It’s not laying. Maria is angry because she has so much to do today based on her event.

Maria hugs me and I’m grateful for the attention. I hope her event is a success. We’ve given a gift card, and I’ve bought a ticket and donated a bottle of wine.

I hope it helps.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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