How to Forget an Ex for Good: 14 Proven Ways to Happily Move On

Learning how to forget an ex isn’t easy. It doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Try out these 14 tips if you want to forget your ex and move on with your life.

I was never good at moving on from my past relationships. And when social media showed me how I could become the biggest stalker in the world, well, let’s just say I really worked on developing how to forget an ex.

I would spend hours examining posts, trying to figure out the possible hidden messages, see if they were in pain over the breakup, missing every moment of my presence. Obviously, that was mostly my ego doing the social media stalking, but let’s save that for another day.

The point is forgetting an ex isn’t as easy as people think it is.

How to forget an ex – The little steps you need to take

If you were emotionally bonded with someone, you’re breaking that bond. You’re no longer a couple; you’re transitioning to strangers. It’s a weird transition to make, and that’s why it’s so hard to do.

Most of the time, it happens on a whim, and you’re left feeling displaced and shocked. But that doesn’t mean you won’t be able to move on. Yes, it’s a shock, and it’ll be hard, but it’s entirely doable. In other words, your life isn’t over, and you will find love again.

It’s time you moved on and learned how to get over an ex.

#1 Stop stalking. I know you want to see their social media and make sure they haven’t moved on yet. But, you need to stop stalking them. Delete them from all social media, and whatever apps you have them on. How can you move on if they’re constantly in your face? Stop stalking.

#2 Focus on yourself. Um, hello. You’re single now, which means you have all the time in the world to focus on yourself. Tis the season for self-care, and now, it’s time you practiced it. Find a new activity, spend time with your friends and family, or go for hikes. Focus on doing things you enjoy and make you happy.

#3 Get yourself busy. If you’re laying on the couch all day, your mind will be focused on them. You’ll be sitting there, thinking about how they laugh or why they dumped you. It’s not a good move. Instead, get yourself busy. Whether it’s work, school, or volunteering, fill your day up with activities. The less you think about them, the better.

#4 Reflect on the breakup. There are two people in every relationship, meaning you have a responsibility in the relationship as well. It’s time for you to reflect on the relationship and see what went wrong. What were the things you did in the relationship? What should you work on for yourself?

#5 Think about the things you didn’t like. Every relationship has its ups and downs. There are things you liked about your partner and the relationship, and things you didn’t. During a breakup, we tend to only look at the good times. But this is when you should focus on the attributes you didn’t like. For your next relationship, you’ll be more aware of what you don’t want in a partnership.

#6 Hang out with your friends and family. Spend time with your support group as they’re the ones who will stand by you through the ups and downs. Listen to their advice and accept their love and support. And if you want to pull through, you’ll need those people around you.

#7 Don’t force them out of your mind. When it comes to knowing how to forget an ex, if you try too hard to not think about them, it’s not going to work. It’ll do the opposite. Let yourself grieve; this isn’t a race. Grieving isn’t something you can control or force. If they’re on your mind, process these thoughts and feelings. With time, they’ll disappear on their own. 

#8 If you’re still sleeping together, stop. Yeah, I know you think that you can continue sleeping with them without having feelings, but that’s a fairytale. You’ll never be able to move on if you’re still intimate with your ex. The sex may be good, but you know what’s better? Moving on.

#9 Grieve. Breaking up with someone is a grieving process. You no longer have your ex in your life, and it’s a transition. Give yourself the time to be emotional. Cry, scream, yell, get all your emotions out, and go through the process.

#10 Write your feelings down. Your friends and family will eventually get tired of talking about the breakup. This isn’t a bad thing. Really, there’s only so much other people can hear about it. So, write your feelings down, and get out everything that’s floating around in your mind. Just get it out.

#11 Don’t be friends with them. Yeah, I know you think you could be friends with them, but let’s get real here. It’s not going to happen, at least not right now. You can’t grieve and move on if you’re still hanging out with your ex-partner. So take a solid break from them, and when you feel you’ve moved on, then bring them back into your life.

#12 Volunteer and give back. We underestimate the value of giving back. When we’re stuck in our heads, it’s hard to see the good things you have in your life. But volunteering will keep you busy and will direct your time and energy towards giving back.

#13 Plan a trip. Sometimes, you just need to get out of your environment to help you put things into perspective. And you don’t even need to travel the world. A weekend trip to the next town over can do wonders. Plus, a change of scenery can help you reflect and inspire you for the future.

#14 Give yourself time to move on. When there’s a breakup, you want to move on as soon as possible. This is why we rebound and act like everything is okay. But in reality, you’re grieving. It’s going to take months for you to move on, and that’s okay. Give yourself time to move on.

 

Understanding how to forget an ex isn’t something that can be done overnight. But, give yourself a little bit of time, and you’ll move on to greener pastures.

 

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This Is How Long It Takes to Get Over a Broken Heart, Says Study

You will recover and get your self-esteem back.

It happens to all of us. A relationship ends in heartbreak and the world stops and kicks us off. Or so it feels. And the low self-esteem after a breakup only serves to prolong the agony.

How long does the bottom-dwelling last? Can you still figure out how to survive a breakup when you’re feeling this lousy about yourself? Isn’t it bad enough that the one you loved doesn’t love you anymore — do you have to not love you, too?

Certain feelings go with the territory of a broken heart — confusion, anger, and sadness. But, if your low self-confidence is causing you to constantly blame and disparage yourself, getting over a breakup gets even more difficult and your healing will be slow.

If your self-worth perked up when you started dating your ex but plummeted after your split, it’s probably dependent on being in a relationship. When you’re heartbroken, you feel worthless, which leads you to hang onto what is no longer available and/or no longer healthy.

Ironically, gauging how long your low self-esteem after a break-up will last depends, to a certain degree, on your self-esteem.

If all you do is self-criticize, you won’t be able to process what happened in the relationship. And if you can’t process this one, you can’t prepare for the next one. That’s the vicious cycle of low self-esteem that keeps you stuck.

The loss of self-esteem is the most disruptive aspect of a breakup because it prevents you from moving forward. You need an inherent sense of worth to invest the energy in your healing and future.

If you had healthy self-esteem at the beginning of your relationship, wouldn’t it stand to reason that it should still be there after a breakup?

A ding to your self-esteem is understandable. But if your low self-esteem after a breakup leads you to stalk your ex or pray for a reconciliation, that ding is a big dent.

There are a lot of theories about how long it should take to heal from a breakup. Some say half the length of the relationship (woe to those together for decades!). Some say as little as a month.

The truth is, the uniqueness of the individuals and their relationship can’t be overlooked or generalized.

However, a study in the Journal of Positive Psychology found that 71 percent of 155 young adults took around 11 weeks to see positive change. By the end of those three months, the subjects could see positive aspects from their breakups.

They also felt they had grown and become goal-oriented — all positive changes to their low self-esteem after a breakup.

Other influences on the healing of your low self-esteem after a breakup include factors like race, gender, and sexual preference. According to another study, women, African Americans, and heterosexuals have more positive outcomes.

But the biggest predictor of positive outcomes was the person who initiated the breakup.

Finally, when it comes to giving the best advantage to your low self-esteem after a breakup, social media plays a role. Those with a higher frequency of internet surveillance also have a higher level of post-breakup distress.

Accidentally “bumping into” your ex on Facebook will only serve to set back the clock on your healing time.

It’s reasonable to expect that the recovery of your low self-esteem after a breakup can take at least a few weeks. But the factors affecting that timeline depend on you and the relationship that just ended.

And, once you figure it out, building confidence is not as impossible anymore.

 

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How Long Does a Crush Last? 10 Steps to Get Over Your Crush ASAP

You can’t seem to get your crush out of your head, and you’ve liked them for months. Is this normal? How long does a crush last and can you move on faster?

If you’re wondering, how long does a crush last, you’re in good company. When I was in high school, I had a crush on a drummer for four years. Yes, four years. I couldn’t get over him. I thought he was amazing, I wanted him to be with me so badly. Obviously, that never happened.

But I remember spending hours, thinking to myself, how long can I like someone? When is it going to end? If you’re crushing on someone you’re probably thinking the same thing. You realize that nothing is going to happen, at least not now, and you need to get over them.

Before you learn how to get over them, you probably want to know if what you’re feeling is normal. At least, that’s what I wanted to know when I was younger. [Read: How to have fun while getting over your crush]

How long does a crush last?

Listen, having feelings for someone is completely normal and healthy. Plus, having a crush is fun, let’s face it. Even though it can end with a broken heart, the drama that leads up to it is exciting and thrilling. But what is too long to have a crush? In reality, according to psychologists, a typical crush usually lasts for four months. If the feeling persists, what you feel is what we like to call, “being in love.”

But before we start freaking out, let’s get real. Science is one thing, but it can’t measure someone’s feelings and make it a statistic. We’re all different. Whether your crush is for four months or three years, that’s okay. Now, if you want to get over your crush, here’s what you need to do.

How to get over your crush as soon as you possibly can

It’s called a crush for a reason. Cue the violin.

#1 Why do you like them? But actually, why do you like this person? What is it about them that drives you wild? You probably haven’t thought about this seriously. But you need to look at why you actually like them. Plus, how do you feel when you’re around them? Since they’re a crush, you’re probably not acting yourself which is a sign that you’re fantasizing about someone who’s not for you. [Read: Feeling lost in life? How to find yourself again]

#2 Treat it like a breakup. I know, you didn’t date them, we all know you didn’t date them. But, in order to move on, you need to treat this as a breakup. Get into bed, watch some chick flicks, start crying, and get it all out.

It’s okay to allow yourself to be sad regardless if you dated this person or not. You invested emotionally into them, so why not take the time in grieving over your crush. [Read: How to say goodbye to the might-have-beens]

#3 It’s all about distance. See, I like to think that I couldn’t get over my crush because he was in all my classes. I mean, how can you keep distance from someone who always is around you? I get it. But you’re going to have to try to create some distance between you and your crush.

You need time away from them, so avoid areas where they hang out, avoid stalking them on social media *because I know you are* and just avoid being around them as much as you can. [Read: How to get over someone you see every day without losing it]

#4 Don’t stalk them on social media. Nothing will work if you’re drooling over their photos all day. You need a break, remember? This also means from social media. If you can unfollow them, do it. If you can delete them, do it. But really, you need to do it. I know, it’s hard, but once they’re off your social media, it’s crazy how fast you forget about them.

#5 Don’t ask about them. You probably have mutual friends and that’s where you get your information. But for your sake, stop asking about your crush. Trust me, I know it’s going to be hard. But, remove them from your daily life which includes talking about them with other people. Tell your friends not to update you about your crush, that way, the information can’t fuel your feelings.

#6 Get honest with yourself. They’re a crush for a reason. You were never going to be with them. Think about the other crushes you had and how you got over them. You’ll get over this one as well. In the moment, we get all wrapped up with emotion, but at the end of the day, we all know the truth. If you made a move and were rejected, that’s okay. You did what you could and now, it’s time to move on. [Read: 14 ways to get over someone you never dated and free your mind]

#7 This will take time. Now, if this person goes to school with you or is a coworker, expect this to take longer. You can’t rush your feelings. And while you’re trying to get over them, you’re going to feel like shit. I can’t lie about that. You’re going to feel rejected and broken, but this is just the process. It’s better than living in a fantasy.

So, give yourself as much time as you need to get over your crush. The day will come when you stop thinking about them.

#8 Meet new people. This doesn’t mean you should jump to another crush. Getting over someone doesn’t work when you simply move on to someone else. If anything, that’s just the easy way out. What you need to do is meet new people around you with a positive influence. It would be even better if these people didn’t know your crush. That way, you can’t talk about them. [Read: 16 easy ways to meet new people and find your crowd]

#9 Get busy. Treat this as a breakup. With that being said, if you were breaking up with someone, I would suggest that you fill your time with things you enjoy doing.

Try to stay away from your phone because that only leads you to obsessive creeping. I am notorious for that, so I know what it’s like. Do things that you want to do, spend time with other people, literally do anything to distract yourself. [Read: 20 reasons why someone may never like you back]

#10 Flirt with someone else. Okay, this isn’t my first suggestion, but flirting always helps. This doesn’t mean you need to find someone else to obsess over, but casually flirting with other people is a nice reminder that there are other people out there. It’s an ego boost. It’s just light, innocent flirting…

[Read: Really effective tips to stop thinking about someone you really like]

Having a crush is fun and innocent, something we all experience. If you wonder, how long does a crush last, then it’s probably been too long already, and it’s high time you tried to get over them!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Facebook: phicklephilly       Instagram: @phicklephilly       Twitter: @phicklephilly