7 Signs Your Partner Has Feelings For Someone Else, According To Experts

Finding out that your partner is in love with someone else can be a total shock to the system. Sometimes you really can’t see it coming. There are some people who are really good at hiding what’s going on with them. But for most people, falling in love is a process that doesn’t really happen overnight. When your partner is falling for someone else, experts say you’ll likely notice some small changes in their behavior.

“We should always be paying attention to the subtle changes in our relationship because, whether it changes for better or worse, it usually evolves inch by inch,” Mariel Mangold, LCSW, relationship expert and licensed psychotherapist, tells Bustle. “If you’re just waiting for a glaring red flag, you may be missing some smaller yellow flags along the way.”

You shouldn’t blame yourself for failing to see the signs, nor should you try to look for signs when there really aren’t any. When you think things are going well, it’s healthy to not look for problems. Mangold just says it’s just important to always be in tune to your relationship. That way, you can celebrate when it’s going well and get ahead of problems as they’re developing.

So if you notice any of these subtle changes, experts say your partner may be falling for someone else.

1. They Aren’t As Thoughtful And Affectionate As They Used To Be

“The first telltale sign that your partner could be falling for someone else is a distancing from you,” Diana Mikas, love life coach, tells Bustle. Their distance can be physical. For example, sex may not be as frequent as it used to be. They may not go completely cold on you right away, but something about their kiss, touch, or hug may feel off to you. Their distance may even show in the way speak to you. For instance, if they stop complimenting you or calling you by your special name, that can indicate something may be up. Of course, there are many other explanations as to why this may be happening, so your best bet is to talk to your partner, and try to get answers.

2. They’re Being More Selfish And Secretive With Their Money

If they had no problem treating you out and now they’re constantly asking to split the bill or they suddenly have budget restrictions, Mikas says that may be a red flag. To be fair, they could have experienced a change in their job or money situation. So this is one to really look out for if your partner is also spending more money on lunches or nights out. Either way, if they haven’t explained why they suddenly have restrictions, they may be keeping something from you. Talking with them is the only real way to know for sure.

3. They’re Emotionally Withdrawn

If your partner is falling for someone else, they may not be as emotionally available to you as they used to be. If you ask them how their day went, they may be short with you and give you a simple, “fine.” If you try to have a deeper conversation with them, they might shut down and ask to talk about it later. “When someone is emotionally cheating, they may start pulling away from the relationship out of guilt because they know they’re betraying someone they love,” Mangold says. They’ll be very conflicted and withdrawn. Since they can’t talk things over with you without feeling bad about it, they’d rather keep things to themselves.

4. They Casually Mention Another Person Constantly

Just think about the early days of your relationship. When you’re excited about someone, it’s so common to keep bringing up all the little things they said or did. Many times, you can’t help it. “If your partner is constantly having someone else on their mind, they may start bringing them up in conversation whenever they’re reminded of them,” Jeannie Assimos, chief of advice at eharmony, tells Bustle. It may not catch your attention at first. If you’re in a healthy relationship, your partner is allowed to be friends with people you don’t know. But if you keep hearing someone’s name being brought up over and over again, it may be worth paying attention to.

5. They’re Reluctant To Hold Your Hand In Public

This alone shouldn’t really raise any red flags unless it’s a complete change. But if it’s coupled with other warning signs, it’s worth looking into. According to Mangold, on some level your partner may not want to be seen as partnered up or in a relationship with you. “If you’re walking next to each other and not holding hands, that can be totally fine,” she says. “But if they’ve started walking ahead of you, behind you, or putting a lot of distance between you, you may want to ask them what that’s about.”

6. They Get Easily Irritated With You

“Spending intimate time with a partner you aren’t actually interested in anymore will get frustrating after awhile,” Assimos says. If your partner is falling for someone else, spending time with you may start to feel like a chore. Because of that, they may lose their patience and get frustrated with you more easily or get mad for the smallest things.

7. Your Gut Is Telling You That Something Is Off

Unless you’re just a naturally suspicious person, you should always go with your gut. If you feel like they’re distracted or that something is off, you could be right. But as Chris Seiter, relationship consultant and breakup specialist, tells Bustle, don’t react right away. “It could just be a passing interest,” Seiter says. “Having a gut feeling isn’t really proof that they’re cheating. It could simply mean they’re noticing other people.”

If you spot any of these signs, the best thing to do is have a direct conversation with your partner. Assuming that they’re already cheating can make things worse than they really are. Try to approach them by being calm and curious, not accusatory. “Always start from a question,” Mikas says. “Be inquisitive, not the executioner (e.g. ‘I really appreciate how you show your love by calling me your ‘love bug.’ I noticed that you haven’t been using this term of endearment lately. Why not?’).”

It’s better to ask and get your answer right away, then worry yourself over something that may or may not be happening. Once you know the truth, you can decide where to go from there.

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California Dreamin’ – Donna – 1982 to 1984 – Broke The Code

NSFW! This post is Not Safe for Work!

One night I went to an old town pub in Pasadena. For my sort of friend, Tim’s birthday day party. (See: California Dreamin’ – 1982 to 1984 -Tim’s Wife Donna) I got there late hoping to stop bye, say hello and buy him a few drinks. I spent most of my time talking to most of the girlfriends of our friends and the band while they were taking shots and just partying it up. I mostly just talked to his Tim’s wife, hot Donna. Other than drunk ass Tim I only really knew her from their group.

I decide to take it easy on the drinking tonight because someone needs to be the sober voice of reason at this party.

About 1-1:30am most of his family and friends had left. While at the table talking he makes a comment about how he still hasn’t got his birthday present from his wife.

She tells him not tonight.

“Your just going to get home and fall asleep.”

As their friends make fun of him, she pulls close to me and says that it’s too bad because when she drinks she get really horny. He looks at us and asks what we’re whispering about. She pulls away and tells him that I shouldn’t buy him any more drinks, and that I should buy her some. He agrees and asks if I could be their designated driver. He also says he’ll give me cash to get a cab back to that bar to get my car. I end up driving them home all the while she’s giving me looks that’ll make a young boy cum in his pants. (After that episode in her bathroom, my brain is still reeling.)

We pull into the driveway, he gets out and stumbles his way into the house leaving me and his wife outside. We say our good bye trying to be calm, I walk her to the door.

She tells me to be quiet and leads me through the gate and around back of the house.

With out a word she undoes my belt and pulls out my cock, drops to her knees licks the tip of my cock and balls before sucking me! No words are said. All you can hear is the slurping and slapping of my balls on her chin!! She sucked a good 10 minutes before I came.

Again, without a word she stood up, still playing with my dick, and asked if I would fuck her. She then turned around pulled up her black cocktail dress, bent over the patio rail, looked back at me and asked again. I was in her before she could finish asking. I know it’s wrong but when you’re young recklessness is just part of youth.

Then it got even crazier. She started to moan.

To be outside and that time of night it seemed really loud. What if Tim hears me banging his hot wife?

I reached around to give her my jacket so she can scream and moan into that but when I tried, she grabbed my arm and used that instead! Which she started to bite down hard on. That really hurt, but somehow it got me turned on even more.  Well, long story short, there I am, three in the morning, a large bite mark on my arm, and feeling guilty as hell.

We finished and I crashed on their couch for the night. Donna kissed me deeply before she went upstairs to their matrimonial bed. I passed out and woke up early the next morning with a rush of anxiety (It was bad back then when I was young) I hightailed it out of there as fast as I could.

I hung out with them again and nothing ever came of it. I guess Donna just always liked me and we were all young so we did crazy shit.

 

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The Reasons Why Married Women Cheat on Their Husbands

It’s not something most people want to face, let alone talk about or even consider. But the truth is, even in the happiest marriages, affairs can happen. Maybe a close relationship with a colleague goes too far during a long night at the office. Or an unexpected dalliance occurs on a vacation with friends. Or maybe, it’s a longer-running situation, where a husband or wife turns to someone to fill a physical or emotional void left unfilled by their spouses. The fact of the matter is that infidelity is not surprising. What is surprising, however, is who’s doing the cheating.

© LaylaBird / Getty

“We have this idea socially that men are cheaters, all men are susceptible to cheating, men are dogs, right?” says Alicia M. Walker, an associate professor of sociology at Missouri State University. But the data tells a very different story”

Walker is the author of The Secret Life of the Cheating Wife: Power, Pragmatism, and Pleasure in Women’s Infidelity. She was inspired to write the book after coming across a number of stories on infidelity. “I saw a study that said some 90 percent of people who cheat never leave their spouse,” she says. “And I feel like, that’s not what we hear about. We hear about people cheating and then the marriage breaking up. Then I saw another study that some high 80 percent of folks never get caught cheating and that number is even higher if you’re a woman. So that really got me thinking like, ‘Something is going on here besides what I think is going on here.’ Because we sort of have this social idea that if you’re cheating you’re always going to get caught eventually.”

“Something that some of the women in my study brought up that I never thought about was that when they were searching for an affair partner, they were having these candid, frank discussions about sexual compatibility and sexual preferences.”

After reading a study that said most women are vulnerable to infidelity in their 40s, the idea became lodged in her mind. “Those three pieces of information together kind of got me thinking,” Walker says. “And, over the course of the next few months, it seemed like every movie I saw, every conversation I had, this topic just kept coming up. So, in looking to answer my own questions about this, I realized there was really not much research out there about infidelity. We just kind of act like it doesn’t happen.”

What she noticed from her work, is that women are cheating at at least the same rates as men. And, depending on the age group you’re looking at and the behavior that you’re looking at, sometimes they’re outpacing men.

“Way more women are cheating than we think,” she says. “We just don’t like to talk about it and we don’t like to think about it. You don’t want to think that your neighbor, your Sunday school teacher, or your friend is doing this. But the reality is, you know a woman who’s cheating, you just don’t know that she is.”

Now, Walker makes clear, there’s no one specific reason for infidelity. Some women cheat to avoid boredom; other women cheat because they feel neglected. Still others say it’s because they f**king want to.

“A lot of the time the reasons are physical, sometimes they’re emotional, and, sometimes, as much as we don’t want to admit this or know this, sometimes it’s just a matter of somebody having an opportunity,” says Walker. “There’s a lot of data showing that a woman will have an affair with a coworker and are more likely to report that ‘My marriage is great and I’m super satisfied. I literally saw an opportunity and took advantage of it.’ ”

“You should really start looking at your own behavior in the bedroom and really make sure that you’re holding up your end of the table. Because, if you’re not, there’s somebody out there who’s more than willing to do that.”

The notion of the cheating wife is something that tends to be swept under the rug, per Walker, mostly because it goes against everything that we as a culture have been conditioned to think about women.

“We want to think of women as not particularly sexual unless they’re deeply in love or they’re married or in some monogamous relationship of some kind. We just don’t want to think that women are just as sexual and just as interested in having sex with multiple partners or a variety of partners or they get bored with marital sex.”

However, if we want things to change, it’s time to not only start thinking about the idea of female infidelity, but also to figure out what we can do to improve things. Walker says that begins with having honest conversations about sex, preferably before marriage.

“Something that some of the women in my study brought up that I never thought about was that when they were searching for an affair partner, they were having these candid, frank discussions about sexual compatibility and sexual preferences,” says Walker. “When I got married, I never had any of these conversations, and I started thinking, ‘You know, that’s true, we don’t have those conversations.’ We kind of wander into these romantic pairings and we fall in love and we kind of think that the sex is going to take care of itself. But, according to the data, that’s not true.”

Part of those frank discussions is being open to what your spouse is interested in. A lot of the women Walker interviewed said that when they talked openly about their fantasies or desires to their husbands, they were met with disgust and made to feel ashamed.

“It was really pretty sobering, to be honest with you,” Walker says. “This is a person who’s pledged to love you for all time and you say to them, ‘Hey, I want to try role-playing,’ or whatever it is, and then think about having the person that you love and trust the most say, ‘That’s disgusting. What’s wrong with you?’ If you listen to that for years, and then in walks somebody who’s not only like, ‘That’s not disgusting,’ but they’re into it, you can see how attractive that would be.”

A lot of the women Walker interviewed said that when they talked openly about their fantasies or desires to their husbands, they were met with disgust and made to feel ashamed.

In conducting her research, Walker was surprised to learn that a lot of the women that she interviewed were interested in the prospect of an open marriage.

“They don’t want to leave their husband, they love their husband, they’ve got a great life, but what they really want is variety in their sexual partners,” she says. “It’s not just, ‘Oh, I want my husband, and I want this one affair.’ It’s, ‘I want my husband and I want to taste all the parts of the menu!’ ”

Additionally, she discovered that women who cheat see it as an exercise in power. The socially accepted norm when it comes to coupling is that the man asks the woman out, the man pays for dinner, the man proposes marriage. While the ideas behind these traditions may be chivalrous, Walker says that the women she spoke to eventually felt confined by them.

“They always felt like they had been chosen, rather than choosing themselves,” she says. “And then they go online to Ashley Madison, or any other site, and there’s all these men, and now they’re choosing rather than being chosen.”

In the end, attentiveness is the key. When you’re with your spouse, Walker says it’s vital to make sure you’re thinking of her needs as well as your own.

“Any man who is concerned about this,” she says, “you should really start looking at your own behavior in the bedroom and really make sure that you’re holding up your end of the table. Because, if you’re not, there’s somebody out there who’s more than willing to do that.”

 

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Signs Your Girlfriend May Be Cheating

If you have been settled into a relationship with your girlfriend for some time, you may think everything is great, and you are set for life with that special someone. However, things don’t always work out that way, as many men have learned from experience. Finding out your girlfriend has been or may be cheating can be devastating for any man. However, it is far better to know than to just bury your head in the sand.

So, how can you determine whether your girlfriend is cheating? Well, the last thing you want to do is destroy the trust in the relationship by accusing her if you have no grounds for doing so. This is why you need to do a little digging first to get a better idea of what is going on. Once you have some sort of proof or your suspicions are strengthened, you can then consider whether or not to speak to her about it. In this article, we will look at some of the signs that could indicate she is cheating.

Key Signs to Look Out For:

There are a number of key signs that you should look out for if you want to get a better idea of whether you partner may be cheating on you. One thing you may notice is a sudden increase in the number of calls she is making or receiving. In some cases, she may take these calls into another room or put the phone down when you come into the room. If you feel that she is being cagey with the calls she receives, you may want to delve deeper. For instance, you could do a cell phone number lookup to find out who has been calling her.

Another thing you can do is to look at any changes in the way she uses social media. For instance, in the past, you may have looked at social media posts together and had a laugh over various posts and photos. However, you may have noticed that she is far more secretive lately, and that she makes sure her device is not in your line of sight when using social media. She may even close her laptop or switch her phone screen off when you come in or move close to her. These are all possible signs that she is up to something on social media and private chat.

Her behaviors and appearance could also give an indication of whether she is cheating. For instance, maybe she has started dressing up a lot more and applying more makeup. She may have started spending more time going out without you. Some women may start ‘working late’ more often and coming home at all sorts of odd hours.

While these signs do not mean your girlfriend is definitely cheating, they can provide a good indication of what she is up to. You can then decide whether you want to confront her or wait to see if you can gather more evidence.

 

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5 Single Women Reveal How Married Men Justified Their Intention to Cheat

A married man making a pass at a single woman no longer shocks the world, and just that, speaks volumes for itself. No, we’re not making a generalization here, and we absolutely believe that good, loyal men still exist. However, having said that, they are a rare find, and with all the evolution in terms of lifestyle and relationships in the modern day–it’s safe (and disheartening) to say that the concept of monogamy is heading speedily towards extinction.

Ask around you, at least one out of three women has been approached by a “family man,” who uses one of the many tricks up his sleeve to convince her he’s genuinely fallen head over heels. Obviously, when they try to pull off something like this, there has to be some groundwork and research that ultimately informs them of how big a risk is involved in this wild adventure that they’re seeking, and so, they mostly start out by trying to evaluate a woman’s psyche. While some put it down to how their wives make them miserable with all the nagging and nitpicking, some might even be audacious enough to reveal that they aren’t having marital problems as such, but simply couldn’t help themselves from being struck by Cupid’s (problematic) arrow. Whatever the route they take, the objective is the same – for you to believe them, feel flattered in some way, and show them a sign of reciprocation.

If you’re wondering how we’ve managed to come to such a hard-hitting conclusion, ladies, we’ve done some thorough research, which involved a survey that was as worrying as it was intriguing. We spoke to five women, who admitted to being approached by married men. They shared the one reason that their respective acquaintances used as a justification for their actions.

1. “I used to work with him. Every day, he’d chit-chat with me and joke about how he wished he had met me earlier, hinting that I was a perfect match for him. One day, he asked me to have a cup of coffee with him post office hours because he wanted to discuss something with me. Given that he was a colleague I was quite comfortable and cool with, I agreed. Over coffee, he told me that he had developed serious feelings for me, and found it necessary to let me know. When I reminded him that he’s crossing the line, he immediately began to tell me how miserable he was in his marriage, and that his wife was nothing of what he wanted in his life partner. I heard him out, and then said I was in a hurry and left abruptly.” – Anonymous

2. “I work out regularly, and have quite a few buddies at the gym. One guy, in particular, was always over enthusiastic when it came to his interactions with me and quite openly displayed his interest. At first, I thought it was all playful fun, and would brush it off by teasing him that I’d tell his wife (he had told me he was married) and get him into trouble. One day, things went a little too far, when he began texting me out of the blue, saying he got my number from another female friend at the gym. His messages began to get more and more sexual in nature, almost like he was testing the waters to see how I’d receive this. I instantly responded with an insult, asking him to have some shame. Clearly not having any, he suggested that there was no harm in some fun and that no one had to know. I blocked him and we never spoke again.” – Jayashree Singhal, Mumbai

3. “Even though I’ve experienced this several times, one of the most striking episodes, because of how blatant it was, was when I was introduced to my friend’s husband during a house party. My friend, who was also my colleague, invited me over to her home, where she was throwing a house warming party. On my arrival, she introduced me to her hubby and mother-in-law, who seemed jolly and warm, and before I knew it, I blended in and was having a good time. Mid-party, I got up to go the loo and found myself lost in the corridor of the four-bedroom apartment, looking for the washroom. While everyone else was in the hall, my friend’s husband appeared out of nowhere and asked if I needed anything. I told him I was just looking for the washroom, and he guided me. Just as I was about to head in that direction, I felt him put his arm around my waist, as he leaned in and whispered – “X (wife’s name) has hot friends, I must say!” I was too shocked to react and rushed for the loo. I left soon after. The next day, he added me on social media and flooded my “others” folder with apologetic messages, that went from, “I didn’t mean to come across as a creep, I was just being honest” to “My marriage is on the rocks.” I’ve declined every invite to my friend’s home since then.” – Anonymous

4. “There’s this colleague of mine, who has been working with me for the past two years. I know he’s married because we sit right next to each other, and he often talks about his wife – lovingly, at that. However, I won’t deny, he also has a reputation of a flirt, who smooth-talks his way through life. Never did I imagine he’d try it with me, though. A few months ago, I was having a bad day at work and asked him if he’d be up for a quick walk to the nearby store, where I could buy an ice-cream. He agreed, and we took that walk. On the way, he asked me about why I was feeling upset, and we ended up sitting at a local tea-stall, where I informed him about my recent breakup, and about how I was feeling a bit disillusioned with love. Taking the opportunity, he quickly began to make direct passes at me, “jokingly” stating that after marriage, his sex life has become boring. He briefed me about why it’s better to date married men, elaborating the supposed positives like, “you don’t have to deal with any household drama and you only get the fun, exciting parts of them” and also how relationships like these cause a stronger desire that leads to better sex. Post that day, he relentlessly tried to convince me that I should secretly see him, and we could have this roaring affair that would solve both his and my purpose – until I found somebody I’d like to take things forward with.” – Anonymous

5. “I befriended this guy a few years ago, and while I don’t want to go over how, when and where we met – to protect his identity and mine, I’d just like to say that everything he expressed was so well worded, there’s no chance I could’ve thought it to be lies. From telling me how he’d always dreamt of girl who looks, talks and behaves like me, to saying how his relationship with his wife is nothing more than a “duty,” his affection and interest in me seemed beyond genuine. Whenever he’d speak of his marriage, he’d tell me how sex is merely a chore and that he feels “trapped.” He’d make me believe that he’s extremely helpless about his situation, and wants nothing more from me than my company. It wasn’t long before I realized that this was baggage I didn’t need in my life, and I cut him off.” – Anonymous

 

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Husband discovers wife’s multiple affairs after 10 years of marriage

“My self-worth and self-confidence bottomed out. I was a total wreck.”

Here are a few tips to make things smoother when navigating the world of co-parenting.

In 10 years of their marriage, Seth and his wife never lied to each other…about anything.

There were no little white lies about pretending to his birthday present every year or remembering to put the kids’ soccer uniforms in the dryer.

Instead, the couple built their marriage on a solid foundation of trust and honesty.

The moment Seth found it that had all been a lie, was utterly soul-crushing.

For years, the mother of his four children had been carrying out multiple affairs,

“She shared much more than her body … she shared her heart,” he first wrote on Love What Matters. “That’s what hurts the most about affairs.

“More than the breaking of trust, the physical act of breaking the covenant, the stolen money, it was the casualness in which she gave away that emotional bond we had.”

Source: Seth MegowSeth and his wife, who had been married for 10 years, have four beautiful kids together. Source: Seth Megow

“Neither of us had ever dealt with this”

At first, when his wife started going out late, Seth simply brushed it off.

She was busy working while raising their four kids, he remembered reassuring himself.

Anyone would need to cool off after dealing with all that stress.

“It was almost impossible to have an easy sit-down conversation about it,” he said.

“She was in avoidance mode, and I was in detective mode.

“This caused more tension since neither of us had ever dealt with this before.

“She wasn’t used to not being open, and I wasn’t used to having to pry for information about her life.”

Source: Seth MegowSeth desperately didn’t want to believe his wife had been unfaithful. Source: Seth Megow

“A tug of war between my head and my heart”

Then she stopped coming home at night, claiming she was staying out late with friends.

She also started covering her tracks, locking her phone and using cash to pay for everything – so Seth couldn’t check her bank statements.

“It’s easy to say looking back that I should have just let her go then,” Seth said.

“My brain was telling me: ‘Look at the facts. She hides her phone at night, pays for everything in cash, and spends the night out multiple times a week’.

“On the other hand, my heart was telling me: ‘She would never cheat. We are beyond close and each other’s true best friend. I’m sure this is just a big misunderstanding’.

“It was all a giant tug of war between my head and my heart. A back and forth between the facts and the feelings.”

Source: Seth MegowSeth, pictured here with one of his daughters, discovered the affairs on Facebook. Source: Seth Megow

“I was a total wreck”

But eventually, Seth’s head won the battle– after his wife accidentally left her Facebook open one night.

He painfully read countless messages that proved his wife had been having multiple affairs.

There were endless one night stands and also a serious long-term boyfriend.

“So now both my head and my heart knew the truth,” Seth said.

“I felt so betrayed and crushed.

“We had spent years pouring love, life, encouragement, and hope into each other.

“If my closest friend in the world didn’t see the value in me, why would anyone?

“My self-worth and self-confidence bottomed out. I was a total wreck.”

Source: Seth MegowSeth became a single dad to their four young kids. Source: Seth Megow

It just wasn’t working

Even after all that, Seth still found it hard to leave.

He desperately prayed for divine intervention to bring his wife back as she begged for a divorce.

But eventually, it became obvious that it just wasn’t working.

“So we got divorced. I got the kids. She got every other weekend with them and her freedom,” Seth said.

“Now to be fair, she had been an amazing mother for a long time.

“We discussed that hopefully one day in the future, once she found healing, she would feel more comfortable with a greater role in their lives.”

Source: Seth MegowAfter the divorce, Seth focused on being the best dad possible for his kids. Source: Seth Megow

“I just kept on taking one day at a time”

So Seth became a single dad to four young kids while also dealing with the emotional fall-out from the destruction of his marriage.

It’s now been four years since they signed the divorce papers, Seth is still in the process of rebuilding his life.

“Of course, I wasn’t a perfect husband. I wasn’t a perfect dad, friend, son, or employee either,” he said.

“However, I tried and continue to try. I just kept on taking one day at a time.

“Some days were tougher than others, but the important thing was to not give up living.

“I learned that through heartbreak and hardships we receive this amazing gift of compassion if we choose to embrace it.”

For more of Seth’s story check out his blog, “Who Put My iPad in the Dishwasher?

If you or someone you know is battling addiction, help is available. Call the Family Drug Helplineon 1300 368 186, DrugInfo on 1300 858 584 or Youth Substance Abuse Service on 1800 014 446. For a complete list of services by state click hereIf you believe you are in immediate danger, please contact police on 000.

 

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7 Tough-But-Honest Reasons Why People Cheat — Emotionally and Physically

It’s not just an urge.

Cheating is a destructive event that can happen within any relationship. It is important to be aware that people have different definitions of what cheating means to them. That’s why there are so many different reasons for why people cheat.

For example, some people believe flirting is an innocent act while other people may feel that it is a sign of much more.

There are different types of cheating, which include:

  • Physical cheating: Physically cheating is when a person within a relationship engages in a sexual activity with another person outside of the relationship. It could include engaging in physical activities like hugging, kissing, and ;sexual activities.
  • Emotional cheating: Emotional cheating can begin harmlessly. It may start off with someone intimately talking about problems within their lifestyle to another person outside of the relationship. These two people can begin to form a strong bond that develops into a sexually charged emotional connection.
  • Sexting: Sexting is when two people sexually flirt via the text messaging system on their mobile phones or computers. It can include sending inappropriate photos to each other.
  • Online cheating: Cyber cheating, or online cheating, happens when two people develop a passionate relationship online through social networking services. It could include the use of Facebook and dating websites like OkCupid or Tinder.

The interactions may at first be flirty but can quickly lead to an intimate development.

A good way to know whether you have cheated is to understand whether you would tell your partner about the interaction you had with another person.

A noted clinical psychologist with a specialty in infidelity, Dr. Alicia H. Clark says, “Secrecy is a good litmus test — if you wouldn’t tell your partner about the interaction, no matter how ‘innocent’ you think it is, you’re having an affair.”

Everyone already understands that cheating is wrong, so why do people cheat?

Here are 7 of the most common reasons married men and women have for emotional cheating and other types of affairs.

1. A person is not committed to the relationship.

People are placed in situations where people may flirt with them, which may have never happened to them before. Some people are given the opportunity to cheat and within that moment they are not afraid of the consequences. The feeling of the chase may be more captivating than maintaining a relationship.

Dr. Clark stated: “Novelty is a big player in attraction, and anonymity offers opportunity. Maybe you meet some guy on a plane, and he flirts with you, flatters you, and gives you something you’re not getting in your primary relationship. If you engage in a way that helps you fill whatever void you have in your primary relationship, you’re entering emotional infidelity territory.”

2. People use cheating is an excuse to end the relationship.

A person within the relationship may fall out of love. The person looking to leave the relationship may cheat so the relationship ends.

3. A person’s relationship needs are not met.

People have different needs within their sex life that only their partner can fulfill.

These needs include passion, romance, affection, attention, love, sex and feelings of appreciation. If the needs are not met it can bring on feelings of being taken for granted, loneliness, tension, and neglect. In some cases, they may have asked their partner to try something new to spice their relationship up, but the request was ignored.

The feelings of sexual exploration, motivation and curiosity can outweigh a boring sex life which can make two people grow apart. Eventually, a person may begin to find another way to get their needs met. For many people, this is the beginning of an emotional affair — and eventually a physical one.

4. The couple does not spend time maintaining the relationship.

There are a lot of responsibilities that can get in the way of maintaining a personal relationship. Some things include work, cooking, cleaning and children. Maintaining a relationship is just as important as all of the other responsibilities in our life, people just need to set aside time to spend with each other.

5. Lack of expression and communication within a relationship.

People often forgot to tell each other how much they mean to each other or forget to discuss important aspects of their relationship. Lack of communication can mean there was no way for their relationship to grow.

6. A need for self-exploration.

When two people spend all their time together, things can grow boring. Sometimes people need personal space to separate themselves from their relationship. Some people look to someone else to help build their own personal identity.

7. Insecurities.

Some people are insecure and feel like their partner will cheat on them or their relationship won’t last.

Some insecure people cheat first before they get hurt, because cheating is easier than feeling emotional pain.

 

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