25 Funny Instagram Captions To Use After A Breakup That Show You’re OK

If your Instagram looked like #relationshipgoals up until your recent breakup, you might feel compelled to share the news of your split with your followers. (If Miley Cyrus can do it, why can’t you, right?) But if long, vulnerable captions aren’t your style, you might want to opt for funny Instagram captions to use after your breakup to convey that you’re newly single and going to be just fine.

If you’re not exactly feeling super funny today, don’t worry. This list has got you covered. Whether you want to just go with a hilarious Lizzo quote that shows how fabulous you are or you want to get some people sliding in your DMs as soon as humanly possible, this list is filled to the brim with options for every mood.

Rather than blowing up your group chat trying to come up with the best caption, let this list do all of the heavy lifting for you. Read each one of them and copy and paste whichever feels the truest to how you’re feeling onto your next Instagram post. Are you ready for this?

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“My DMs are open for sliding. #letthegamesbegin”

This is a not-so-subtle and hilarious way to announce that you’re back on the market. Get ready for your followers who have been silently thirsting after you to pop out of the woodwork.

“Does anyone have Tyler Cameron’s number? Asking for a friend (that friend is me).”

Or sub in Travis Scott, Kristen Stewart, etc…

“You coulda had a bad b*tch, non-committal.”

As if this list would be complete without at least one Lizzo quote. If you want to send your ex a hilarious but also majorly passive-aggressive message, I’d go with this one for sure.

“no ring, no prob”

Pair this with the most DGAF picture you have for maximum LOLs.

“🎼 AND IIIIIIII-IIIII-IIII WILL ALWAAYS LOVE MEEEEE 🎼”

Give your own single-person spin on the Whitney Houston classic.

“PSA: I’m back on the market.”

I mean, the public really deserves to know this information. So, why not announce it PSA-style?

“I am Beyoncé always.”

Michael Scott has gifted the world with plenty of great quotes, but this may be one of his best. Quote the GOAT in your caption to let people know that you’re thriving on your own.

“FYI, Grandma you can stop asking how [ex’s name] is doing.”

Again, this is a little petty. But sometimes being a little petty is funny.

“Realized I’ll probs never find a love like the one I have for pizza & am totally cool with that.”

If you’re a pizza lover, go with this caption to let people know you’ve still got your bae.

“You used to be my cup of tea, but now I sip Champagne.”

I saw this on a t-shirt once and am just still not over it. So petty. So hilarious. So great.

“Made like Elsa and decided to let it go.”

Why not throw a little Frozen reference in there?

“Like Halsey, it turns out I’m bad at love… but I’m good at taking shots so who’s down to meet me at [insert fave bar here]?”

If you’re trying to party, go with this caption. Invite your friends out for a night of celebrating your newfound single status.

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“thank u, next-ing & thriving”

Nothing like a good old-fashioned Ariana tribute.

“I’m good on my own.”

You came into this world alone and you’ll leave it alone, so being single is only natural. Let people know you’re back to being solo and loving it.

“Back together with my Day 1 (me) & we’re happier than ever.”

Just wait for the praise-hands emoji comments to roll in.

“We (are) on a break!”

Obvs, we had to throw a Ross/Rachel tribute in there for those of you who are, in fact, on a break.

“Who wants to help me come up with a fire Tinder bio?”

This is funny but it also shows you’re actively moving on.

“Back to doin’ what I do best: me.”

A little spicy.

“Hot take: There is no greater joy in life than sleeping sprawled out starfish-style in the middle of your bed.”

Have you ever tried doing this? It’s truly one of the greatest spoils of being single.

“singlin’ & minglin'”

You’re not just single and “ready” to mingle, let everyone know you’re out there actively mingling.

“Being a ‘relationship person’ never really quite felt on brand, anyway.”

This is a pretty cheeky way to announce that you’re really embracing and loving the single life.

“Single until I find a human I love more than chicken fingers.”

This will likely be never and I totally get that.

“Still not sure why I’d want a [BF/GF] when no human could ever be as loyal (or gorgeous or smart or cool) as my dog.”

True.

“Imagine waking up in the morning and getting to do WHATEVER YOU WANT without taking ANYONE ELSE into consideration… That’s pretty much every day of my life now, so I’d just like to publicly congratulate myself on that here.”

Ah, nothing like a good, old-fashioned congratulatory post.

OK, now take your pick and show the world just how fine you really are.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Tales of Rock – The Cool Parents’ Guide to Rock Music for Kids

If there’s one universal truth to parenting, it’s that whatever songs your kid listens to will end up on repeat in your head at 3 a.m. Most of the time we’re fighting off tunes about frogs or balloons or shapes from Little Baby Bum, or we’re reluctantly humming a particularly annoying little ditty about a family of sharks (and just like that, dear reader, it’s now in your head too. Sorry).

Look, we have the power — the obligation — to introduce our kids to better music, for their sake, and very possibly, our own sanity. Nursery rhymes are adorable and learning-shapes songs are valuable. But with the state of things around us, social distancing and staying at home can provide a great opportunity for parents to expose their little ones to better music, some even with helpful life lessons.

We’ve compiled a list of some of our favorite kid-friendly albums from what we dub the “Golden Age of Rock,” the classic oldies of rock ‘n’ roll from the ’50s through the ’70s, to help create a fun music experience for you and your kids. So, clear the living room, turn off the TV and fire up the record player (or Spotify playlist) and, hopefully, get to dancing.

Chuck Berry

The Great Twenty-Eight

Chuck Berry defined the sound and spirit of rock ‘n roll, so it’s only right that our kids hear his music. This compilation album, which Rolling Stone ranked No. 21 on its 500 Greatest Albums of All Time, starts off with the toe-tapping “Maybellene,” and kids just know what to do when songs like this come on. Later on the album is “Johnny B Goode,” a fun opportunity for you to mention a great scene in Back to the Future when Marty McFly baffles everyone at a dance with a rendition of this hit. This album is a necessary lesson on the roots of rock ‘n’ roll. Nicknamed the “Father of Rock ‘N’ Roll,” Berry was a major influence on decades of music that followed him.

Little Richard

Here’s Little Richard

With lyrics that go “A-wop-bop-a-loo-lop a-lop-bam-boo,” “Tutti Frutti” is probably the most fun a kid will have singing to a song, and the second you drop a needle on this track, your toddler will light up. It’s the opening track on Little Richard’s 1957 debut album Here’s Little Richard, which also includes “Long Tall Sally (The Thing)” and “Slippin’ and Slidin’ (Peepin’ and Hidin’)” Simply put, these are just fun songs.

The Beatles

Rubber Soul

The Beatles helped define 20th-century rock ‘n’ roll, but not before dominating the pop charts. If we had told fans of the hit “I Want to Hold Your Hand” that the same band would later be making songs like “Helter Skelter,” they wouldn’t have believed us. But, there’s one album, in particular, that is a great introduction to the Beatles for kids, and has both the catchy, pop-like melodies that launched the Fab Four to stardom, but a little more meaningful message than the idea that they want to hold your hand. And it seemingly has no references to drugs yet: Rubber Soul. It’s said that Beatlemania ended on Dec. 3, 1965, the day the record hit the shelves. It was the album that saw the Beatles as men, not boys, similar to a teenager coming of age. And tracks like “Nowhere Man” explored John Lennon’s own dealings with inadequacy.

David Bowie

Hunky Dory

David Bowie is a great artist to introduce to kids early on because he took on many alter-egos, opening up the possibility of a young person to find one that relates to their own personality. His music explores fantasy-like storylines, and he always encouraged young people to be themselves –– no matter how weird. His 1971 album Hunky Dory is especially great for kids, and the song “Changes” reflects those ever-changing personas. He also wrote the track “Kooks” for his first son, which is a great song to dedicate to your own children.

Wings

Wings Greatest

We’re the last people to reduce the fantastic music of Wings to “just another Beatles band,” but once your child realizes that the Beatles broke up in the summer of ’69 and are left wanting more, they may want to hear what one Beatles head songwriter, Paul McCartney, made in the ’70s. Only two years after John, Paul, George, and Ringo parted ways, McCartney co-founded Wings with his wife. Yes, we’re recommending a “greatest hits” album, but it’s a great start for kids, or anyone, who hasn’t taken the time to listen to the band before. It’s a fun record that highlights the best of a great band.

Melanie

Gather Me

This album is packed full of emotional ’70s folk-rock ballads. But track four, “Brand New Key,” recalls the innocent days of young love. A particularly adorable song from singer-songwriter Melanie, “Brand New Key” follows a young, empowered girl thriving off confidence and nudging a crush to play along as she roller skates along — and it’s super fun to dance to. The rest of the tracks are probably more fitting for a teenager, as it covers a lot of heartbreak, but it’s also a great introduction to blues-rock.

Bob Dylan

Another Side of Bob Dylan

Is your child an aspiring poet or songwriter? Look no further than Bob Dylan to inspire that creativity. And his fourth studio album, 1964’s Another Side of Bob Dylan, is a great introductory album for your little one. OK, this is a folk album, but Dylan has become an influential figure in rock ‘n’ roll. Like the album title suggests, this was the first album Dylan released that didn’t reflect his usual politically driven songwriting, making it easy listening for kiddo. In fact, it played on his humor quite a bit too. Give “All I Really Want to Do” and “I Shall Be Free No. 10” a listen with the kids around for a good laugh. “To Ramona,” though, shows Dylan at his best on this album. A beautiful, lullaby-like song, the melody alone is likely to capture your child’s attention.

The Beach Boys

Endless Summer / Pet Sounds

It’s hard to decide which album is best for introducing your little one to when it comes to The Beach Boys. Endless Summer, a great album for those summer pool days in the backyard, captures the best of The Beach Boys’ 1963-1966 catalog. Be sure to pick up the vinyl reissue that includes “I Get Around,” “Surfin’ USA” and “California Girls.” These are all great introductory songs to surf rock and capture a great slice of the band’s career. You can almost feel the warm sun and sound of the hot rods driving by.

Pet Sounds is universally regarded as The Beach Boys’ best album. So, go ahead and save your kid the future embarrassment of admitting they haven’t heard this album by introducing it to them now. It begins with the super catchy tune “Wouldn’t It Be Nice,” which captures the thoughts we have when we’re lovesick teenagers. It’s been said that Beach Boy Brian Wilson was aiming for tracks that kids could relate to on this album, and we think he did a pretty good job.

The Monkees

The Monkees Greatest Hits

Yeah, we’re recommending another greatest hits album. But look, this one cuts out some of the more experiential songs the band did (oh, you didn’t know about that?) We’re not going to recommend that you introduce your kids to The Monkees by having them watch the film Head, or listen to The Monkees’ soundtrack for it. Trust us. And, The Monkees didn’t have an endless catalog of amazing songs, but the hits they did have are upbeat, really fun, and definitely kid-friendly.

The Byrds

Mr. Tambourine Man / Turn! Turn! Turn!

This double album (not to be confused with a greatest hits album) was partly taken from earlier writings from Bob Dylan. It contains Dylan originals in a pop-rock-friendly tone, including: “Mr. Tambourine Man,” “Chimes of Freedom,” “All I Really Want to Do” and more, so it’s a great opportunity to show your child how songs can be made differently.

Dusty Springfield

Dusty in Memphis

Dusty Springfield was an anomaly among the usual British female pop stars of the 1960s. Her voice was deep and rich, and her music sounded not unlike the hits coming from Motown or Stax. Her singles include “I Only Want to Be With You,” “Wishin’ and Hopin'” and “Son of a Preacher Man.” The latter of which is on one of the singles from her best-rated albums, Dusty in Memphis. A hallmark of the oldies we so love to wax nostalgic, Springfield’s music is a great lesson in love, and perfect for any lovelorn preteen.

Buddy Holly

20 Golden Greats: Buddy Holly Lives

Buddy Holly was a pioneer in 1950s rock ‘n’ roll, with hits like “Peggy Sue” and “That’ll Be the Day.” His signature “hiccup,” unique spin on rockabilly and as-innocent-as-can-be songs make him perfect for introducing a young person to rock ‘n’ roll. After all, he’s said to have inspired greats like Beatles John Lennon and Paul McCartney. Unfortunately, he died shortly into his blossoming career, so his discography mainly includes compilations. But 20 Golden Greats: Buddy Holly Lives is listed on Rolling Stone‘s 500 Greatest Albums of All Time, and includes tracks he made with The Crickets — his band he played with before going solo.

Wanna be a better guitarist? Click this link to learn the secret!

https://beginnerguitarhq.com/guitar-exercises/

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8 Fundamental Ways Being Cheated on Changes You

For the worse … and for the better.

Catching your husband or wife cheating on you changes everything about your relationship. How could it not?

“The psychology of infidelity is actually quite complex, much more than the current moralistic conversation about it where people are ‘good’, ‘bad’ or ‘flawed’, therefore dismissed as damaged goods attempts to dispel the cliché myth that ‘once a cheater always a cheater.’”

If you want to fix your broken relationship and save your marriage, it is possible. And the path back to a healthy relationship begins with each partner seeking to understand both the cheating spouse’s reasons for having an affair, as well as the ways in which the betrayed husband or wife has been changed forever as a result.

By taking such an approach, couples can reach a place of healing — and even redemption — with insight and wisdom, regardless of whether or not they ultimately stay together.

The ways infidelity changes you depend not only on who you and your spouse were before the affair, but who you are both committed to becoming once it’s out in the open.

No matter what circumstances led to the affair, no one in its wake will be left unscathed. Yes, that goes for the cheating wife or husband, as well.

There are always reasons, not excuses, why men and women cheat.

If you have been betrayed by your spouse, you’re painfully aware of the many ways their infidelity has changed you already.

But if you are the betrayer, you may not have thought through full impact your actions would have on your spouse and your family, let alone the lasting consequences you’ll face throughout your own life.

The effects of infidelity run the gamut from emotional to physical to neurological. The agony of a broken heart and broken trust isn’t only in your head — it lives and breathes in your body, too.

Here are 8 ways catching your husband or wife cheating fundamentally changes you on an emotional, physical, and neurological level.

1. Your self-esteem and self-worth are shattered

You wonder why you weren’t “good enough” and why someone else was “better”.

Because your self-esteem is destroyed, you start looking for things you may have done to cause your cheating wife or husband to stray. Surely, you believe, it must have been something you did or didn’t do.

2. You feel stupid

You start wondering how you didn’t see the affair coming, and how you can ever trust your own instincts again.

3. You lose your ability to trust

The affair is always in the back of your mind. Even if you stay together, your trust isn’t as unencumbered and naturally given as it once was.

4. You’re afraid to love again

The prospect of either falling in love again with someone else or staying with your spouse is frightening. You never want to give your power to someone again.

Because you’re afraid to let your guard down, the world becomes a less happy and promising place in which to live. Holding onto the notion of love is a challenge because you now associate it with unbearable pain.

5. Your brain takes a beating

Neuroscience has shown that the rejection from infidelity has both short and long-term consequences to brain chemistry.

Since feelings of love activate the release of dopamine in the brain, causing “a pleasurable experience similar to the euphoria associated with the use of cocaine or alcohol”, being cut off by the dagger of infidelity may impact neural pathways in similar ways.

6. You experience physical pain

The emotional experience becomes integrated into the physical experience, and you hurt … everywhere.

7. You can’t stop obsessing

Studies show that women are more prone to rumination than men, constantly replaying all the possible causes, scenarios, and consequences of the affair.

They are also more inclined than men to feel somehow responsible for trouble within romantic relationships in general.

8. Your eyes are opened

Despite how infidelity changes you negatively, it also affords you clarity after the shock and anger are mitigated. You begin to see what you may have ignored, and learn how you make choices in mates.

Research has show that this is likely to lead you to make better choices in future relationships.

According to Craig Morris, research associate at Binghamton University and lead author of the study:

“Our thesis is that the woman who ‘loses’ her mate to another woman will go through a period of post-relationship grief and betrayal, but come out of the experience with higher mating intelligence that allows her to better detect cues in future mates that may indicate low mate value. Hence, in the long-term, she ‘wins … The ‘other woman,’ conversely, is now in a relationship with a partner who has a demonstrated history of deception and, likely, infidelity. Thus, in the long-term, she ‘loses.'”

Ultimately, how your partner’s infidelity changes you is, of course, your decision.

There are plenty of individuals and marriages that heal and become stronger and more vital than they were before.

That’s not to say, obviously, that infidelity is a viable consideration for marital improvement and personal growth, but recognizing the many ways infidelity can change you will help both spouses recover from the painful aftermath of an affair.

And, hopefully, greater awareness upfront will take the consideration of infidelity off the table altogether.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

4 Tinder Messages That Are Huge Turnoffs

It can be really hard to know exactly what someone you’re talking to on Tinder is looking for. One person may find witty banter irresistible, another may prefer straightforward chats, and someone else could want a mix of both. It can make saying and doing the right thing feels like a science experiment. While everyone is going to continue to have different preferences — we are all unicorns, blah blah — there are a couple of universal truths to keep in mind when messaging a match. Don’t say we never did anything for you.

1. Hitting them with “what’s your IG?”

If someone wants you to have access to their Instagram, they’ll link their Instagram to their profile. By asking this question, you’re 1. assuming that they want you to follow them and 2. not giving them the option to say no in a non-awkward way. Their only options are to ghost you, give you their handle reluctantly, or have to send an uncomfortable message telling you no. None of these scenarios really lend themselves to starting off on the right foot.

2. Messaging “guess not, lol”

Enough with the passive aggressiveness, please. Digitally stomping your foot like a child when someone doesn’t answer you within whatever number of hours you deem too many might stall the conversation, will probably get you unmatched, and makes you look very unattractive (is that a crimped nose hair I see?). I understand that someone not answering you can be disconcerting and anxiety-provoking. But you have to remember that not everyone is on the same schedule as you, and just because you respond ASAP doesn’t mean everyone else can or has to. Also, someone not answering your last message may mean you said something offensive or made them uncomfortable. Before trying to make your match feel bad or like they should be answering (an unfair power play), check whether you were out of line.

3. Asking for personal information too fast

If you met someone at a bar, would you walk up to them and ask for their first name, last name, and phone number without chatting with them first? No, because that would be weird, and the person would run away. The great part about matching with someone is entering the getting-to-know-you stage and figuring out if you vibe. Yes, the goal is to eventually meet up, and if and when you establish a strong enough rapport to do so, you can start in with your questions (but please still avoid the third degree).

4. Giving TMI

Being super open isn’t necessarily a bad thing — it can definitely lead to some interesting conversations and foster stronger connections. But there’s a fine line between being personable and relatable and recounting in detail every trauma you’ve ever endured. If someone told you their entire life story in one essay of a Tinder message, how would you react? You’d probably be a little freaked out, figure there was nothing left to learn about them, and bounce. I’m not saying you should be totally closed off, but if you find yourself wanting to disclose your social security number, maybe take a few — or 100 — steps back.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Tips To Be The Best Kisser Ever

1. GO OUT AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE

The key to becoming a good kisser is to start meeting new friends. You’ll never really know that some possibilities exist if you don’t get out of your comfort zone and show your beauty to the world. Just like me, I’ll never realize that waiting for the right guy would waste so many opportunities if I hadn’t made time mingling with lots of interesting men.↓

2. YOU SHOULD HAVE THE COURAGE TO DATE

Looking back, I never thought I’d say these words right now. I was actually not the type of girl who often went on dates. I was afraid to get hurt and meet a guy who wouldn’t take me seriously. But then, who cares? Sometimes we need to have courage and have fun. There’s no perfect relationship, anyway, so go on a date! Kiss as many guys as you want.

3. LEARN HOW TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE

So what if you’re a girl? Are we not allowed to express what we really feel and ask the guy we like on a date (unless he’s already taken)? As long as you’re not breaking the rules, go forth and take the man out! I know that it takes guts to be that kind of girl but if you don’t try it then you’ll lose the game. We are in the 21st century and many women have stood their ground to fight for our rights. One of those rights is to be able to choose who to date and kiss.↓

4. SEIZE THE DAY!

For someone who was never been kissed, the most important step you need to take before the act is to get over your inhibitions. Stop overthinking and just do it! Carpe diem they say—unless you want to lie unconscious on the ground and wait for a prince charming to come save you, which will probably never happen. Girl, princes don’t even come with shining armor so stop daydreaming and start living that dream today!

5. GIVE IN TO YOUR FEELINGS

Once you meet that guy who makes your stomach turn because of butterflies, do not waste any more time. Just pounce on him like a lion focused on its prey. You’ve waited long enough for this to ever ignore the chance. So please, just give in to your feelings. Let your emotions carry you away. Do not be afraid to be out of control. Remember, once you’re out in the jungle, you can only do so much to be wild and free.↓

6. PRACTICE, PRACTICE, AND PRACTICE!

Your first kiss may not be as magical or amazing as you’ve imagined it to be. But there’s probably a lot of time to make up for it. Don’t pressure yourself too much. As the old saying goes, practice makes perfect. Kiss random guys you like if you’re single. And of course, if you have a partner, experiment all the time. Avoid stressing yourself about getting better too soon—just do what you think feels good for both of you!

7. JUST ENJOY THE MOMENT

Take it slow. Despacito, as what the Biebs has reminded us to do in his anthem of the year. Enjoy the moment. Do not ever stop even if your lips are sore. Take time to savor those “kissable lips” like you’re kissing your significant another goodbye. When you’re done memorizing the curves of his lips, experiment with your tongue—push it in, desperately. Maybe move your hands a bit, rub his chest or wrap it around the back of his head, too. Yes, just like that.

When kissing becomes overwhelming for you, especially if you’re a beginner, just be yourself, try to relax, and close your eyes. Having a memorable kiss truly lies in you. Own it and make that intimate moment a magical one! So, which among these tips would you like to try?

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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7 Scientific Reasons You’re Attracted To That Special Someone (#3 Is Creepy)

When it comes to finding a romantic partner, we often equate attraction with beauty. But beauty in itself is not the only thing that attracts us. Science tells us that beauty is just one part of the equation. It seems that true romantic attraction goes way beyond the surface and is more closely linked to our subconscious urges to procreate. Here are seven scientific reasons why you’re likely attracted to a special someone.

He oozes confidence

The sexiest person in the room may not necessarily be the most beautiful person with perfect asymmetric features and a great body. It’s actually the person who projects self-confidence. So, why is self-confidence so darn sexy? Well, according to research published in the Society for Personality and Social Psychology,  it’s hard to see certain traits — like aptitude, ambition, social status, and compassion — in a potential love interest at first glance. Therefore, since we believe people actually know themselves, we assume that their perceived confidence (or lack of confidence) reflects positive traits that we’re looking for in a partner.

But there’s a fine line between self-confidence and overconfidence. Researchers decided to look at the advantage overconfident individuals might have in the dating world. What they found was that overconfident people were not seen as more attractive, and may in fact come across as being arrogant, which diminishes the benefits of being confident.

Opposites don’t attract, similarities do

Researchers have found that attraction happens from similarities, not differences.

If you share the same values, life experiences, age, and even similar levels of attractiveness, then there’s a good chance that special someone just might be your match. According to a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, the adage suggesting opposites attract may not entirely be true. It seems that ongoing evidence finds that romantic couples often share strong similarities between ages, political and religious attitudes. However, they only share a moderate similarity in education, general intelligence, and values.

Interestingly, though, when it comes to personality, the similarities stop there. So, while you’re happy being the life of the party, your partner just might be happier hanging out at home watching a good movie. But that doesn’t mean you won’t find them attractive. According to another study published in the same journal, having similarities in physical attractiveness — meaning you’re both a ten or a two — also plays a role in the process of romantic attraction.

He reminds you of dad, she reminds you of mom

Your earliest relationships are formed with your mom or dad, so it makes sense that you might seek out partners that resemble your opposite or even same-sex parent. And it doesn’t stop with personality, suggests a study in the Journal of Human Behavior and Evolution. It may even include the same eye color and age, meaning that if you have younger parents, you might search for a younger partner.

But how can that be, you say, especially when you have such a poor relationship with mom or dad? Well, it all begins with the attachment theory, suggests Psychology Today. Apparently, the emotional bond that typically forms between a baby and primary caregiver is the gateway to influencing how you will connect to others as adults romantically and in other ways. It also creates a basis on how relationships work. So, if you’re hoping that he or she finds you attractive, look no further than his or her parents.

Women are subconsciously attracted to chest hair

If you’re a man who shaves or waxes the hair from your chest area — stop! Research published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior suggests that women find both muscular or huskier men, who possess hair on their chest area, more attractive than those who bare it all. It seems that chest hair plays a role in sexual selection for women. On a subconscious level, women see men with chest hair visually healthier and possessing a physical prowess — both, apparently, good traits for mating.

They smell so good!

Researchers have found that attraction has to do with pheromones.

Ever notice how some people just smell amazing? They may not be wearing perfume or aftershave, but their skin smells fantastic. Well, it turns out you’re likely sniffing their pheromones. Pheromones are a scent-inducing chemical that secretes in sweat and other bodily fluids. According to Scientific American, all creatures great and small — including humans — send out these chemical signals to entice mates. Bettina Pause, a psychologist at Heinrich Heine University of Düsseldorf, says, “We’ve just started to understand that there is communication below the level of consciousness.”

Your brain wants what it can’t have

Why is it that so many of us are drawn to that forbidden fruit? A study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology presented women with the same photograph of their potential dream man. Half of the women were told Mr. Right was single, while the other half were told he was in a relationship. Over 50 percent of the women were interested in pursuing a single guy. Interestingly, that figure jumped to 90 percent when they discovered he was already in a committed relationship. Yikes!

It could be that we are drawn to those we consider “out of our league” because we see them as the ideal model of ourselves. Maybe we develop these crushes to force ourselves to improve both physically and socially. Whatever the reason, keep a close eye on your guy!

Love at first sight linked to our primordial past

Apparently, we have inherited the brain circuitry for instant attraction or “love at first sight” because of our primordial past. Dr. Helen Fisher, a professor with the Department of Anthropology at Rutgers, told Match.com, “Like other mammals, our female forebears had a monthly period of heat.” And, like all mammals that have only a few hours, days, or weeks to mate, our ancestors had to become attracted quickly. So, the next time you find yourself head over heels in love at first sight, just chalk it up to your primal need to procreate.

 

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If Your Partner Never Wants To Cuddle After Sex, Here’s How To Talk About It

Apart from enjoying the warm embrace of someone you’re into, cuddling after sex has its benefits. Mainly, your body releases the feel-good chemical oxytocin, often called “the cuddling hormone.” But no matter how good it feels for some people, cuddling after sex isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Maybe your partner isn’t into the idea of pressing your hot, sticky, post-orgasm bodies together, and they just need time to cool down. Or perhaps cuddling feels a little too intimate, especially if you two are just friends with benefits. Your sexual partner could also have a completely different aversion to cuddling that you have no idea about.

Whatever the case may be, if you want to cuddle after sex and your partner never does, consider talking to them about it. Maybe you’ll change their mind and find a compromise. Maybe you won’t. But either way, unpacking why they seem to be uninterested in cuddling you after sex can help shed some light on what makes them tick, what your needs are as a duo, and how you can resolve issues in the bedroom together.

Here’s what two sex and dating experts had to say about how to approach the post-coital cuddling conversation with everyone’s needs and well-being in mind.

There May Be Physiological Reasons Your Partner Doesn’t Want To Cuddle

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According to Shan Boodram, a certified sexologist and ambassador for sex toy brand TENGA, there are a number of reasons why someone might not want to cuddle right after sex — one being the “post-coital blues,” Boodram explains. Formally known as post-coital tristesse (PCT) or post-coital dysphoria (PCD), people who experience this condition often withdraw after sex or feel an intense comedown. Dr. Jessica O’Reilly, the resident sex and relationship expert for Astroglide, acknowledges that next to pre-existing sadness or trauma, your partner’s physiological reaction to sex could be why they’re feeling down. “Some folks feel sad after sex because of the hormonal and chemical high followed by such an intense release,” O’Reilly tells Elite Daily. “It can feel as though you’ve just come down from a high.”

Some people may crave physical affection if they’re feeling down after sex, and some people simply may not. “Instead of cuddling they may prefer to do something else to boost their mood like eat, watch something, be alone for a bit, or sleep,” Boodram tells Elite Daily.

Irene Fehr, a sex and intimacy coach, also cites post-orgasm tiredness as a reason why cuddling might not be on the menu for your partner. “Sex that is followed by orgasm — especially a strong, whole-body orgasm — can knock a person out and induce a strong desire to sleep right after the climax,” Fehr tells Elite Daily. “They may not want to cuddle or they may not be up for it physically if their desire to sleep is strong.” She also adds that cuddling might feel uncomfortable for some people because their bodies become hyper–sensitive after sex.

They Might Also Be Worried About Being Vulnerable With You

Apart from physiological reasons, your partner may be worried about the level of vulnerability cuddling after sex may invite. “The social implications of cuddling are a form of deep intimacy. So, in order to keep their own distance, or to ensure you can keep yours, they opt out of touch outside of the sexual act itself,” Boodram explains. Fehr agrees, saying, “When things slow down and you no longer have to do anything, cuddling after sex is a very tender, vulnerable activity — a time to put down your guard or performance and face each other in the raw. It is intimate, and it can feel intimidating and scary for many people who might otherwise hide behind sexual performance or an emotional wall.”

Talk It Out In A Safe, Light-Hearted Way

There could be a chance your partner might feel differently about post-coital cuddling if you explain why it’s important to you, but you won’t know until you talk about it.

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When bringing this up to your partner, Fehr suggests you don’t have this conversation during sex or in the bedroom. “Timing this conversation during or after sex puts your partner into a highly vulnerable position to have to answer not only while they’re aroused or relaxed post-coitally, but also when they’re extra open,” she says. “In a way, it’s a manipulative tactic because it traps them.” Apart from not “trapping” your partner into this discussion, you also shouldn’t have what Fehr calls a “fly-by conversation,” meaning, one that takes place while you’re doing something else.

Instead, Fehr says, “Find a time when you both feel relaxed, calm, and present with each other.” Then ask them questions about what they prefer to do after sex and why, or about their boundaries and what would make them feel more comfortable. Ask them about their favorite parts of getting intimate and what defines good sex for them. Hopefully, your partner will ask you these questions back, Boodram says, which will allow you to express your needs, too.

If They Want To Understand Where You’re Coming From, Work Together To Find Solutions

“Brainstorm to find a solution that works for both [partners], if both partners want to […] learn to get over the hurdle. This piece is important,” Fehr says. “Finding solutions only work if both partners want to find a solution.”

One way to approach this problem-solving is to draw from what your partner has told you about why they don’t like cuddling. If their reasons are physical, maybe there’s a way you can make them feel more relaxed and comfortable while cuddling. If the reasons are related to emotions or intimacy, see if there’s a way to make them feel safe or to slow things down. Fehr suggests trying out a short, non-sexual cuddling session as a trial run.

If They’re Not Interested in Problem-Solving, Ask Yourself The Hard Questions

There’s a chance that even after you express your desire to cuddle after sex, your partner still won’t be interested. Even though this can be frustrating, their feelings are valid. “Ultimately, it’s going to be very difficult for the person who needs post-coital cuddling to feel fully satisfied and complete with sex,” Fehr says. So, you will probably have to ask yourself if not cuddling after sex is something you can go without. Likewise, your partner will have to ask themselves if they can fulfill your needs, or if you’re asking too much.

Whatever the outcome of your conversation with your partner, approaching your talk with intimacy, patience, and understanding will be helpful. This could be a golden opportunity to reconnect as partners and really improve your sex life.  Even if cuddling after sex seems like just a “small thing,” remember: Even the “small” things are always worth a conversation.

 

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Tales of Rock – 10 Fascinating Band Name Origin Stories

Picking a band name is no easy feat, as it will have an enormous impact on how you are perceived by the world. There are many fantastic band names out there, but of course there are also some pretty terrible ones too. But regardless of whether the name is good or bad, it is always fascinating to hear how they came about. There are some excellent band name origin stories for many of the biggest acts of all time, including these 10 iconic groups.

10. Nickelback

While they are not the most popular band (anymore) and constantly the butt of jokes, the origin of Nickleback’s name is quite interesting. The name came from bassist Mike Kroeger (brother of frontman Chad), who was working at Starbucks when the band formed. With prices at $2.95 and $3.95, he would constantly be saying here’s your nickel back” to customers after each transaction. When they were trying to come up with a name, the phrase “nickel back” stuck in his head and he suggested it to his brother. Chad thought it was perfect, and Nickelback was born. Despite the endless abuse that they receive, Nickelback is one of the most successful rock acts of the 2000s, with “How You Remind Me” being the best-selling rock song of the decade. They have sold over 50 million albums worldwide, making them one of the most successful Canadian groups ever.

9. Queens of the Stone Age

Originally called Gamma Ray, founder Josh Homme was forced to change the name after a German power metal band of the same name threatened to sue. He settled on the unusual name Queens of the Stone Age, as this is how producer Chris Goss described his previous band Kyuss a few years earlier. On why he chose the name, Homme stated “Kings would be too macho. The Kings of the Stone Age wear armor and have axes and wrestle. The Queens of the Stone Age hang out with the Kings of the Stone Age’s girlfriends when they wrestle, and also it was a name given to us by Chris Goss. He gave us the name Queens of the Stone Age. Rock should be heavy enough for the boys and sweet enough for the girls. That way everyone’s happy and it’s more of a party. Kings of the Stone Age is too lopsided.”

8. Pearl Jam

There are a few suggestions as to the origin of legendary rock band Pearl Jam’s name, but they originally went under the name Mookie Blaylock. As any NBA fan will tell you, Mookie Blaylock is a former all-star who spent 13 years in the league. The band was fan of Blaylock, but they were forced to change their name due to trademark concerns. As a result, they named their hugely popular album Ten after Blaylock’s playing number (he was also a fan of the band). In an early interview, Eddie Vedder stated that they settled on Pearl Jam as a reference to his great grandmother, Pearl, who was married to a Native American and they had a special recipe for peyote-laced jam. This has also been dismissed, however, and some claim that “Jam” came from when they attended a Neil Young concert where he extended his songs with lengthy jams.

7. 30 Seconds to Mars

After playing their first concerts under a few different names, Jared Leto and his brother Shannon settled on the name 30 Seconds to Mars, which was taken from a manuscript titled Argus Apocraphex. Written by an ex-professor of Harvard, this was the title of one of the subsections. It discusses the exponential growth of technology that relates to humans and saying that we are literally 30 seconds to Mars. For Leto, he found that the phrase perfectly encapsulated their music and he explained it as a metaphor for the future and how it “works on several different levels, a phrase that is lyrical, suggestive, cinematic, and filled with immediacy.” The band went on to be immensely successful, but in these early days, Jared Leto would not allow the use of his Hollywood fame as a promotional tool for the band.

6. Led Zeppelin

Often said to be the greatest and most influential band of all time, hard-rocking British act Led Zeppelin first formed in London in 1968. They first formed under the name the New Yardbirds (in reference to Jimmy Page’s previous band, The Yardbirds), but they soon restyled themselves as Led Zeppelin. Now one of the most famous band names ever, the story goes that Keith Moon and John Entwistle were discussing the prospect of starting a supergroup with themselves, Jimmy Page and Jeff Beck, and they stated it would “go down like a lead zeppelin” (“lead balloon is a British idiom for an ill-conceived idea, with a zeppelin essentially being a much bigger balloon and therefore a worse idea). The band decided to intentionally change “lead” to “led” so that it would be correctly pronounced. It is now an iconic name for one of the greatest bands of all time.

5. The Velvet Underground

An enormously influential group that formed in 1965, the band name actually comes from an S&M book about a secret sexual subculture during the early ’60s, written by journalist Michael Leigh in 1963. It reports on Paraphilia in the USA, which is the experience of intense sexual arousal to atypical objects, situations, and individuals. The New York-based band decided to use the title of the book as their band name after Lou Reed and Sterling Morrison’s friend, a filmmaker called Tony Conrad, found a copy of the book lying in the street in New York. Morrison was a fan of the name as it reminded him of underground cinema, and it stuck. It is somewhat fitting, as the band achieved little success when they were active and could be considered “underground,” but are now deemed immensely important and influential.

4. Steely Dan

Steely Dan may seem like a fairly innocuous band name for the jazz-rock act founded by Walter Becker and Donald Fagen who were hugely popular in the late ’70s and early ’80s, but the story behind their band name is cheekier than most people realize. As fans of Beat Generation literature, the band named themselves after “Steely Dan III from Yokohama,” which is a sex toy mentioned in the novel Naked Lunch, written by William S. Burroughs in 1959. Not quite as innocent as most thought, Steely Dan has sold more than 40 million albums worldwide and was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in March 2001. The band split up but reunited in 1993 and has toured consistently since.

3. 311

Nudity and rock and roll seem to go hand in hand, and this is exactly how popular American rock act 311 got their name. Formed in Omaha, Nebraska, in 1988 by Nick Hexum, Jim Watson, Aaron Wills, and Chad Sexton, the band name came from when Watson was arrested for streaking when he and some friends went skinny dipping in a public pool. He was arrested and handcuffed before being taken home to his parents, all completely naked. He was issued with a citation for code 311, which is a police code for indecent exposure in Omaha. The band found the story so amusing that they settled on 311 as their band name. Watson, the lead guitarist, would later leave the band and was replaced by Tim Mahoney. They are still going strong today, with 2014’s Stereolithic being their most recent studio album.

2. The Who

An excellent band name for one of the all-time great rock acts, The Who were originally called The Detours. Whilst searching for a new name for the group, people would come up to the members with their suggestions. There were a lot of odd suggestions, which frequently saw the likes of Roger Daltrey, Pete Townsend, and Keith Moon simply reply “the who?” Townsend and his roommate Richard Barnes also liked the theme of having joke announcements as a band name, such as “No One” or “The Group.” In another version of how the band name came about, Townsend’s grandmother would always refer to bands as “the who?” due to her impaired hearing. Whichever version is true, it turned out to be an excellent choice, as they would go on to become one of the greatest bands of all time and now everybody knows their name.

1. Lynyrd Skynyrd

The act is famed for popularizing southern rock through signature songs such as “Free Bird” and “Sweet Home Alabama,” Lynyrd Skynyrd first formed in 1964 in Jacksonville, Florida. They first went under the name My Backyard, and they would not settle on Lynyrd Skynyrd until 1969. They first decided on Leonard Skinnerd, which was a mocking tribute to the physical education teacher that all of the members had when they were in school together. This was a teacher that they disliked due to his strict enforcement of the school’s policy against boys having long hair, which led to Gary Rossington dropping out. The spelling was altered shortly after to avoid a lawsuit. With their success, they became friendly with the teacher in the later years and even invited him to introduce them at a concert in the Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum.

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The Addictive Cycle Of Toxic Couples

I don’t know if whoever reading this is a God person, but if you can, for a second, think of the way God likely looks at us humans: running around, fixating on all of the wrong things, getting caught up in issues that shouldn’t take our attention, wasting energy on futile pursuits, and generally oblivious to the bigger picture. Now, if you can picture that, that’s pretty much how people who aren’t in a toxic relationship look at people who are in one. I know that’s how I see those in toxic relationships.

Every time a friend in a toxic relationship calls me to talk to me about the fact that her boyfriend misinterpreted her tone on a text so then he cancelled their plans and so she, as a response, hung out with an ex to make him jealous and he, as a response, keyed her car and now nobody knows who did what wrong or how to fix things, I just feel like I’m watching a hamster run on a wheel. I want to grab my friend, shake her, and say, “Listen! You’re focusing on the wrong issue here! You’re trying to figure out how to keep this wheel turning but you just need to get off the damn wheel.”

But that’s how toxic relationships go: they are cyclical. One thing leads to another thing which leads to another predictable bad pattern that triggers the usual response and everyone is back to where they started. It is so clear to outsiders that the answer is just to end this relationship. But when you’re the one stuck in the cycle, you can’t see that. Toxic relationships suck you into their vortex and you don’t even realize you’re spinning around in circles. Here’s a look at the addictive cycle toxic couples get in.

Focusing on just today’s problem

It’s easy for toxic couples to get swept up in the problem of today. Whatever that may be (and it usually makes sense to no one but the couple). Maybe it’s the tone of voice one used or how long one took to call the other back or how “touchy” one was with a friend of the opposite sex. The couple becomes fixated on getting to the bottom of that issue and determining the winner of the fight.

And not the major problem

I bring up the last issue to point out that the couple is too focused on the small issue at hand to ever recognize the bigger issue at play, namely, that they fight too much. They’re too focused on dealing with today’s micro fight to recognize that they fight all of the time, and it isn’t healthy. They’re so used to things not being peaceful that that’s become the new “normal” for them.

Toxic couples often become so twisted up in their complex but a pointless web of arguments that, on top of fighting about whatever the issue is at hand, they then also fight about how they fight. It’s true that there are healthy and unhealthy ways to fight. Toxic couples fight in unhealthy ways (storming out, slamming doors, hanging up) and then they have to fight about that, before they can even get back to whatever they were originally fighting about.

Toxic relationships and on-again-off-again relationships tend to be one and the same. Toxic couples love to call it quits… “For good this time,” they’ll say…and then be back together within a day or even an hour. So very quickly, “Calling it quits” holds no power. It’s about as meaningful as saying the sky is green. It’s hogwash, really. Empty words.

Feeling like, “I already put so much into this”

This is very common and I hear it all of the time from my friends in toxic relationships: the feeling that they’ve already put so much time and energy into this that they have to see it through. I want to argue, “The very fact that you’ve had to put so much energy into making this even barely functional should be a reason to walk away…not to keep going.”

Getting addicted to the drama

The drama can be addicting. I don’t want to say that anybody wants a toxic relationship, but I will say that everyone wants to feel some excitement and some purpose in life. And when we lack that, a toxic relationship can provide a nice (but not so nice) distraction from the fact that we haven’t got much else exciting going on.

An all-out screaming/smashing things match

The slamming of doors. The throwing of plates. The smashing of laptops. The throwing of phones down toilets. The screaming. The saying nasty things one can’t take back. Experiencing this level of volatility I think just draws the toxic couple in even more. They think the way to happiness is to make this dynamic with this person calm again. They don’t realize it’s just to…walk away. If somebody has smashed a laptop, it’s probably time to walk away. And prepare to pay for that laptop.

Then cooling down, but never discussed it

“Things are fine.” That’s what my friend says after her and her boyfriend in their toxic relationship have another screaming match of claiming it’s all over and they’re leaving each other. Then they just…don’t leave. Don’t talk about it for a few days. And start having sex again as if nothing ever happened. It’s very unhealthy.

Believing “not fighting” means “things are good”

Toxic couples make the mistake of believing that just because they aren’t currently, outwardly fighting, that things are good. They aren’t good they’re just…less terrible than usual. It’s just the calm before the next storm though. They haven’t really addressed their issues or discussed, in detail, a plan for avoiding the problem in the future. So it will come up again. It’s just a matter of time.

Believing if you could just fix one thing…

I hear it constantly: “If we could just get around this one thing…” But it’s never really just the one thing. Toxic couples always think it’s just the one thing standing in their way of being happy together. They manage to forget the fact that, no matter who they go out and meet, there will always be some challenges. When you meet the wrong person then trying to overcome those challenges means behaving in a destructive, dangerous, unhealthy, and toxic manner. The problem isn’t the problem at hand—it’s how this particular pair of individuals handle problems.

Neglecting friends for the relationship

A toxic relationship will steal all of your time. It will have you cancelling on friends. It will have you texting your friend, frantically, begging to come over to have a shoulder to cry on. She’ll cancel her plans to be there for you and then…you’ll call and say, “Never mind I’m not coming over. I have to go talk to my boyfriend.” So your friends get pissed because they don’t like bending over backwards to accommodate your messed up situation. They pull away.

Then feeling they have no friends

As the friends pull away, the person in the toxic relationship feels she has nobody else in her life but her toxic partner. So she goes even closer to him. She clings on harder. She believes everyone but this partner abandons her, not realizing she brought this situation upon herself by screwing over her friends.

Neglecting career for the relationship

Toxic relationships will mess with your career, too. You’ll blow off everything you said you’d do to further your career, in order to tend to whatever fight comes up with your partner. You say you’ll update your website/get drinks with that new contact/attend an event but then…you blow it all off because you have to fight with your partner.

Then feeling they have nothing at all

More and more, the toxic relationship pulls the person in it away from every other area of her life. And instead of seeing that as a problem that reflects on her relationship, she sees it as a reason to stay in the relationship. Because now she has nobody else in her life. Toxic relationships are isolating like this.

Failing to realize how it looks to outsiders

All along, the people in the relationship continue to lose touch with reality. Their vision is becoming narrower. They pay more and more attention to trying to put out the constant fire that is their relationship (not a good fire—but the type that burns everything to the ground) that they don’t realize nobody is forcing them to do this. They completely forget that they always have the option to just walk away.

 

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Why Staying Friends With An Ex Is A Bad Idea Says Science

Remaining friends with your ex might seem like a harmless idea. But according to experts, your best bet for a good future involves leaving them out of it.

Ending a relationship can prove to be extremely difficult, and if that includes staying friends with your ex, is it healthy?

Here’s what the experts say:

New York City-based psychotherapist and author of The Breakup Bible, Rachel Sussman, advises being careful when it comes to staying friends with an ex, but there are couples who can make it work. Ultimately, she notes, “it’s an individual determination.”

There are, however, some guidelines exes should follow after separating, Sussman says.

If your relationship ended due to lost passion, or you felt like you’re becoming non-romantic roommates, you’ve got a good shot a healthy friendship, says Sussman. But if you broke up because of constant arguing, or one of you felt the other was too immature or too much of a flirt, or betrayal played a role in your split, Sussman adds that “the same problem that broke you up is going to leak into the friendship.”  In that case, you may have to turn around and walk away.

But even if your relationship was generally in good condition and simply didn’t work out, you might want to think twice before becoming buddies. A 2000 study, for example, concluded that friendships between exes are more likely to have negative than positive qualities than cross-sex platonic friendships.

According to relationship expert Lindsay Kriger, the transition from relationship to friendship can carry all kinds of unwanted dangers that can lead to more pain. “Let’s be friends” might sound like a good idea, but it can be much harder to pull off in reality.

Kriger says “What it doesn’t mean is ‘Let’s have a completely platonic relationship in which we ignore the feelings we had for one another, even the ones we still have.’”

Well, staying friends in real life might not be a great idea, but there’s probably nothing wrong with staying friends on social media. Right?

Actually, no.

Kriger believes the best thing to do after ending a relationship is to cut all connections in order to give yourself the full chance to find happiness elsewhere. That could mean deleting their number, and even blocking them on Facebook.

The most common reason why exes want to stay friends (here’s where things can get messy)

In a recent study by The Oakland University and The University of South Carolina, psychologists asked more than 860 people about their reasons for staying friends with their ex-partners.

While most people wanted to stay in a friendly relationship with their exes for sentimental reasons or trust, those who scored high for the psychological “dark triad” of personal traits – were driven by practicality and access to sex in the future.

For men, practicality and sexual access were rated as slightly more important than for women, on average. This was expected based on classical drivers for opposite-sex friendships.

In the journal for Personality and Individual Differences, Justin K Mogilski (University of South Carolina) and Lisa L M Welling (Oakland University) explain: “Men rated sexual access higher on importance than women did, which is consistent with other research showing that men are more likely than women to form [cross sex friendships] due to sexual attraction.”

In an interview for Broadly, narcissism expert Dr. Tony Ferretti said he agreed with the conclusions of the study, and added that narcissists and other dark personalities often valued relationships in terms of self-interest.

Such individuals, he explained, “may stay connected to [to exes in order to] have access to valuable resources. They also have inside information about their exes vulnerabilities and weaknesses that they can exploit and manipulate which gives them a sense of power and control.”

 

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