Dating and Relationship Advice – 8 Things You and Your Partner Should Know About Love

Relationships are incredible acts of love that require work, compassion, and commitment in order to succeed.

With divorce rates at their highest levels, however, the reality is that many people take big steps in relationships without knowing what awaits them.

Once the honeymoon’s over, they have to get back to reality and move on with their lives.

In a lot of cases, you have to learn to face difficulties with your partner. It’s also possible that the marriage will reach a breaking point if things don’t go well.

If you’ve just taken this big step in life or are about to do so, remember the following things that you should talk about honestly with your partner before you get married.

1. The flame of love doesn’t always burn like it did on day 1

How many people give up on their marriage because they feel like the spark is fading?

It might be hard to imagine that the feeling you’re experiencing now could ever go away, but you’ll have to find out for yourself what the true meaning of love is.

It’s not always a romantic movie with a happy ending. You have to be prepared to go through some difficult stages. You both need to understand that even if the flame shines a little less brightly, it doesn’t mean that your marriage is a failure.

2. Love grows in different ways

You don’t necessarily have to be infatuated with someone to know that you’re in love and have a successful marriage. True love requires time and effort.

It needs a lot of care for it to blossom. You might be one of those people who think that there are only two extremes: to love or not to love. However, this ignores the stages that are in the middle.

Let your marriage run its course and don’t over-analyze the bumps in the road. They will only make you wonder if you love your partner enough.

3. The attraction won’t always be there

It’s safe to assume that you won’t always feel physically attracted to your partner. While attraction is considered very important in our image-conscious society, it’s important to remember that even when you’re with someone who you’re very attracted to, the relationship doesn’t always last.

This can cause phases of doubt when you question whether or not you still love your partner. Questioning your relationship when attraction has changed is normal, and you should be able to talk with your partner honestly about it.

4. You have to show love even when you don’t want to

Things aren’t always going to go great. For this reason, it’s easy to act almost like a child when your partner has hurt you.

When you’re in such situations, your feelings of love may decline and you might be reluctant to show affection.

For a marriage to survive, however, it’s important that you learn to swallow your pride and show your love, even when you don’t want to. Small, petty acts can cause resentment to grow in both yourself and your partner.

After an argument, try having a cup of tea or coffee and talking honestly with your partner.

5. Married life is a journey

You might feel like you’ve already achieved the ultimate goal with your partner, but married life is difficult and you need help in order to grow and thrive, both as a couple and as an individual.

There will be difficult times that seem orchestrated to erase all emotions from you both. Use these emotions to build your relationship up and not to tear it down.

If you can do this, you’ll reap the fruits that marriage has to offer. When you decide to talk honestly with your partner, you might both discover a lot of ways that you can grow together.

6. Having children causes strain in a marriage

Everyone knows that having children is a wonderful phase in life, but at the same time it’s very hard on a marriage. It’s possible that even if you have the best of marriages you’ll suffer from some tension after having kids.

This is why it’s important to talk about when you think it will be a good idea to have children. Don’t set aside your marriage during this time.

Take your time and strive to enjoy the moments that you can spend together.

7. Physical love requires an emotional connection

Sexual activity in a couple is a vital way to show that you love and appreciate each other. It’s about learning to give and receive in a loving way, and not a method to gain power, security, or validation.

If the connection is based on feelings, your sex life is less likely to decline during the marriage. Over time, your sex life will change, and this is normal.

Remember to talk with your partner and be open and respectful to what you both feel and want.

8. Marriage can’t survive without communication

Talking with your partner will allow you both to enjoy a successful marriage. Repressing secrets and emotions only causes pain and results in the destruction of the relationship.

Share your feelings and emotions with your partner in a constructive way. This will make both of you happier. The tensions in your marriage will be released and you’ll have honesty to buoy you along.

Things aren’t always going to be easy. That’s why you need to work with your partner to get through the difficult times.

 

Was this helpful? I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments on this post!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am and 12pm EST.

Instagram: @phicklephilly    Facebook: phicklephilly

Cherie – Chapter 24 – Under The Hood

“You can tell the difference from a woman fulfilling an obligation, and a woman who loves you.”

Cherie rolls into town around 8:30 on a Friday.  She looks beautiful. She’s not wearing her glasses, and her hair is all soft black ribbons. I meet her at Suburban Station, and off we go. This has been how it’s transpired for the last few months. She’s still working at Children’s Hospital as a Medical Assistant, and going to school at Temple for neuroscience, but I don’t think she’s at the pediatrician’s office anymore. The hours were killing her.

We’re both exhausted. Her with work and school, and me working two jobs now. The Institute and the tanning salon. She’s happy to be in my bedroom and I’m glad she’s here too. I’ve missed her, and she’s looking especially hot tonight.

We kick off our shoes and lie on the bed. A bit of small talk ensues and then the kissing. Her lips are so soft.

I love her.

I basically strip her. I like undressing Cherie. It’s like I’m taking control of her. She likes it, and I’m gentle with her. Sometimes I wish phicklephilly were a sex blog, because I like writing about sexual things. But I think it changes the integrity of the blog. I’ll leave it to your imagination. Of course 50 shades of grey sold a shit ton of copies, so sex sells. But I just don’t want to do that here. I could try it in a tasteful way. But how does one do that? (I’d appreciate the opinion of a few of my writer followers out there!)

Our sex is fire. It’s the best I’ve ever had. Cherie is a sexual dynamo. A nymphomaniac who just loves sex. And I’m up to the challenge whenever she needs it, as much as she needs it. We’re both pleasers. So think about what that’s like. We’re always giving to each other and loving the entire process.

Cherie loves when I go down on her. She can tell how much I enjoy it, because I do it for as long as she can stand it, and with great enthusiasm. She had a root canal this week and was only worried that she wouldn’t be able to please me orally the way she likes to. She just doesn’t just do it to give me pleasure, she truly loves doing it. You can tell the difference from a woman fulfilling an obligation, and a woman who loves you. She’s a wonderful woman. A girl who is super chill on the street, but a tigeress in the sheets.

So we frolicked until midnight, and then passed out. I don’t know who woke who up three hours later, but we did some more then.  Back to sleep, and then one more in the morning. I love morning sex. I’m refreshed, and it’s light so I can see her. Men are visual animals. It’s hotter if I can see my quarry.

At least I got some sleep in between, because Cherie was able to stick around a bit longer on Saturday. Normally she has to leave and get back home to her house. So we’re able to just lay in bed together for a while in the morning, which I love. At some point our stomachs are grumbling, and we decide to get up. We discuss breakfast/brunch options and decide on Devil’s Alley.

As I’ve written before, Devil’s Alley has the best dry rub wings. So we start our day off with a plate of them. Wings! The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast. From there I move onto the scrambled eggs and bacon, and Cherie goes with the bagels and lox. I love my breakfast, but Midtown Diner and Little Pete’s is still better when it comes to breakfast food. I always eat like a wolf after a night with Cherie.

After breakfast we walk a bit. I just like to walk after a meal. We get to the other side of Broad street and I call an UBER. Guy goes right by us, and then cancels. I summon a second car. He arrives shortly after. I tell him we’re going to the UA Riverview movie theater on Columbus Blvd.  He’s a little chatty, and I’m not in the mood for it. We’re driving along and the guy ends up getting on 95 south. He realizes the error too late. I watch as we drive past the movie theater in the distance. I point to it to show Cherie how we’re now heading away from the theater. Maybe there are movies playing down at the airport.

He finally gets turned around, and gets us there on time.  We go in, and I tell the girl at the window that I want two tickets for the 1:40 show of XXX: The Return of Xander Cage. She tells me that show is in an IMAX theater. I’m good with that. She hands me two pair of 3D glasses. The tickets are expensive. It was close to forty bucks, but baby’s worth it. She never wants anything from me, and gives me amazing love, so I’m happy to spend money on her.

We go up to the escalator to the second floor, and when we get up there we look for the door to get into the theater. We run into a staff member and he directs us to an elevator to take us up to the top.

It’s a beautiful space. The screen is gigantic. We find a pair of seats in the back, and pop our glasses on. It’s the trailer for another Pirates of the Caribbean movie. It looks fantastic in 3 D! This is going to be really good.

The movie starts and it is your typical action picture. Car chases, gun fights and crazy stunts. But seeing it on a giant immersion screen and in 3D, it’s an absolute pleasure. The visuals are striking and the sound is incredible. The place is nearly empty so if feels like the show is just for us. I can see Cherie is loving it and so am I.

After the movie, we stroll northward towards center city. I’m watching the clock, because she wants to catch a 5:30 train. I’m lost in our conversation, and realize I better call an UBER because I forgot that she left her backpack back at my apartment. I summon one, and once we’re in it, the driver gets confused and has to double back to get us back to my house. We finally get there, and now she won’t make her train. She’s totally cool about it but I’m kind of pissed about our UBER fails today. She decides to call one to take her home, because she missed her train.

We go outside and wait across the street. Of course this guy gets lost and ends up looking for us a block away. I’m losing my patience with all of this, and I get on the phone with the guy. He doesn’t understand, and abandons the ride. We get another guy on the phone and walk down to 17th street to wait on the corner. He finally arrives and seems normal. I give Cherie $30 towards the ride. She refuses it at first but I press. She reluctantly takes the money. I kiss her good-bye and tell the driver he is carrying precious cargo. She tells me she’ll text me when she reaches her destination.

I watch as the car merges into traffic and disappears up the street. I’m relieved our UBER fails are over and that I got to spend twenty lovely hours with my girl.

Later I’m at peace alone at the batcave, sipping a vodka club, smoking a cig, and chatting on the phone with my sister.

Bliss!

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

Instagram: @phicklephilly                  Facebook: phicklephilly