Here Are 10 Reasons Why Men Don’t Call Back After a Date

Here’s a post one of my female readers recently sent me. I thought it worth sharing. Take it away, Jazmin!

We’ve all been there: You’re going on a date and everything seems fine, but after the date, there’s no follow-up. No calls, no texts, nothing. When guys ghost us, we often wonder what we did wrong. Perhaps, we were simply not compatible. Or was there something else?

These thoughts can affect our self-esteem and influence our decision to get back out on the dating scene. We start fearing that everyone will do the same thing. However, men’s reasons for not calling us back are completely different from the reasons we assume. Here are 10 men who share why they really ghosted women.

1. “She kept talking about herself and wouldn’t even let me get a word in. The atmosphere wasn’t very nice either. I guess we just weren’t a good match. Also, I would never call [a girl] back if she [is] rude. I like nice, chill people, not uptight ones.” – Peter, 31

2. “The vibe was just off. No need to continue seeing someone you [just didn’t] click with. Also, I wouldn’t call back if she was a vegan…. my family’s big on meat.” – Wonder, 22

3. “The girl was very rude and talked a lot about how awesome her ex was. I also wouldn’t call [a girl] back if she lacked social customs and was a liar.” – Cían, 22

4. “I actually [have] never ghosted anyone. I respect the other person enough to tell them if I don’t [want to] meet [them] again. But I [would only] do that if they did something that would result in complete disgust towards them. Therefore, they wouldn’t be worthy of respect.” – Daniel, 27

5. “It started off as a one-night stand, but afterward, we truly connected. However, by the end of the date, she told me she’s a smoker, and that just [didn’t] work for me. If I were to do that again, I would only not call back if she was disrespectful and intolerant. I can’t stand that.” – James, 32

6. “She only talked about how much she hated her ex. It sounded as if she wasn’t really over him. If I ghosted again, it would be because the girl was fake. Just be yourself because otherwise, we will never know if we’re a match.” – Philip, 25

7. “I felt like we didn’t connect well. I didn’t want to be an asshole, but I was worried [that] she wouldn’t let it go. I’ve had experiences like that before. Also, bad manners are a no-go for me.” – Tom, 27

8. “I found out in the middle of the date that she used to go out with one of my mates. I thought it was best to leave the situation be. Also, if she [were] rude or extremely rigid. I like people who like to have fun.” – Diego, 32

9. “I always call people back, but if I chose not to, it would be because they’re rude. Also [I’m looking for] a simple connection – if it’s not there, then the date is over. I also would never call back if the person was too opinionated. I like people who can have a conversation about [difficult topics] instead of being incredibly stubborn and not even listening to the other person’s point of view.” – Jon, 22

10. “I didn’t call her back because she spent the whole evening criticizing things about me. She was rude in general, so I figured that there was no point in calling her again. I’ve [ghosted] only once.” – Martin, 24

The reasons that guys don’t follow-up after a date vary from person to person. Sometimes, it’s simply that you weren’t compatible. I think we can all agree that we should always let the other person know, even if you are afraid of confrontation. In these situations, we can feel as if it’s our fault and that something is wrong with us. However, it’s important to know that whether or not men text us back, we are still worthy of love, and we should keep putting ourselves out there.

 

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Bibi – 2015 – Matinee Madness

I met Bibi through Keila. Bibi’s unfortunately one of the “fleas and ticks” I told you about. This woman is 38 years old. I don’t remember what she does for a living. I had lunch with her once at El Vez on 13th and Sansom. It’s a Steven Starr Mexican restaurant. Good location and very popular. She seemed nice.

She said her mother moved to Canada and became hindu. So that’s why Bibi has the name she does. She looks western european but was given an Indian name at birth. Doesn’t make sense and isn’t a match. So we know mom must be a little nuts. Why would you do some stupid shit like that to your kid. Growing up is hard enough without having some kind of fucked up name. My dad once told me he wanted to name me Wolfgang. That would be pretty bad ass to have as an adult but not as a kid. Hey Wolfie!

So I ask her out to the movies.

We go to see the Amy Winehouse biopic, “Amy.” Now, I didn’t know much about Amy Winehouse or her music, but I heard the picture was good. I know Bibi wanted to see it. I will tell you, it is a sad story. Here was a beautifully gifted singer who was consumed by alcohol, drugs and the industry itself. The music industry has eaten so many of its own young. This is a grim portrait of the fall of a great singer.

I am a film guy. I love watching movies. I always have since I was a kid. I am a real stickler for following the rules when you go out to the movie theater. Get there on time. Preferably early, before the coming attractions. Your cell phone must be set on silent and be put away unless you are a fucking brain surgeon on call. No talking. These are all just basic common sense things about good manners in a public place.

So I’m watching this heartbreaking film about this poor lost soul with the deadly voice. (You’re not some teenager, who is sitting in some theater watching some wacky comedy. (Still not acceptable) I look over and Bibi is looking at her phone and texting people. You don’t have a husband or any kids. Who is so fucking important that they have to do that shit in the theater during the movie? I was mortified and enraged that this 38-year-old woman has such bad manners. If you’re that old and that dumb at that age, it’s over. You’ll never get any better. If you haven’t figured out what is right and what is wrong, it’s pretty clear why you are alone at nearly 40. It’s rude to me, the people around you, and to the people who made this film.

What an asshole.

So after the film we walked outside and she went to her bike. Yea. She rides around on her bike. She says, “So, what do you want to do now?”

“I’m going to go home and you’re going to do whatever you have to do.” I replied. Then I started walking home.

I never asked her out or ever spoke to her again. Unfortunately,  I have had the displeasure of running into her on occasion. But she’s always with Keila and I’m at some gathering or event. I’m civil, but she gets nothing else from me.

 

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