I’ve been writing phicklephilly for over two and a half years now and there’s no end in sight. The phicklephilly book is finished and so is the Sun Stories book for Amazon. Now I’m working on the TV series. Why not? Sex in the City from a gentleman’s perspective.
Once I got through writing about all of the crazy dates I’ve been on since returning to Philadelphia from New York, and my relationships, I turned inward. I’ve been in a relationship with this lovely girl who I adore, but you can’t write a dating blog if you’re in a committed relationship. It just won’t work. So I started to write about my life and my past in general. I didn’t want the blog to lose its voice, and I certainly didn’t see this relationship coming. It’s been wonderful, and I love Cherie very much. She has an amazing, loving, calming effect on me. She’s a sweet, down to Earth girl who is also smart, and a sexual animal in the bedroom. What man wouldn’t want that?
She’s also not around all of the time, so there isn’t that “I have to put my time in, or I have to go do a bunch of things that I don’t want to do.” She is literally the greatest hits album in a relationship.
When I walk down the street with her I actually get a feeling that I’d love to have her as my wife. Because she’d be amazing at that. I can’t describe why, because I’ve had zero success with committed relationships and marriage but I feel it with her. First time in 30 years. Cherie would be a good wife. I swear it feels like that when I’m walking out in public. “Yea, this is my wife Cherie.”
I felt this like a week ago before she went to Japan. She’s just so chill and sweet and knows me. When we’re together, it’s just like a great song. Whether it’s just doing nothing, watching a movie, mad sex, or eating together. It’s just so easy.
Isn’t that what life should be? I don’t know, because it’s never worked for me. But I’m older now. Maybe I’ve finally pulled my mind together. We’ve both been through all of our shit and we could actually settle down and be together and it could be a peaceful happy relationship. I have no idea what that looks like but this could be it.
But don’t worry. I’m not doing anything rash. That has always resulted in disaster. Every relationship I’ve ever been in has burned to the ground. Stay friends or whatever, it’s over.
I need my alone time. That’s paramount. But I have that with her. But if we got married, we’d have to obviously have to consider cohabitation. She has a wild little son. I don’t want that. I could handle him and help him, but I’m over kids. I’ve already raised Lorelei and she’s mint. I can’t go again.
When we’re together its golden but she’s extremely busy getting her education and working and I’m holding it together at the salon and building a business. I can’t risk that.
I’m finally out of the rat race and I’ve never been so happy. I’m working my butt off but for me now. My real talent is finally being realized. This is a moment at the precipice of greatness.
I’m just going to have to be the best person I can be to her because she loves me so much, and I love her and want to keep her. There are just a lot of moving parts to this life right now.
I’m not worried. I just need to be attentive to her and she has really been great with making time to see me. Our time lately has been wonderful. I’m very pleased at how things are going right now.
But why did I have the affair with Ambria if everything is so good now? I don’t know. I’ve always been loyal to all of my girls. I’m just a romantic gentleman. I know what’s right and what’s wrong. My father taught me that. But he was a cheater but admired that I wasn’t like him.
He made me but I’m not him.
But what if I am and I just haven’t had the opportunities that he’s had? What if I really am him?
I’m so busy now I don’t have much of a social life but when I do its compressed and intense because of what’s happening with the business. I’m no longer posting to or looking at stuff on social media because I don’t want people knowing what I’m doing and I no longer care about everyone’s life on Facebook, filled with food, babies, and events and vacations.
I just live my life now.
I’m happier than I’ve ever been and I don’t care what anyone else is doing and no longer care to let anyone in the world know what I’m up to.
With good reason.
I love Cherie. At my age I’m blessed to have her. A hot, beautiful 27-year-old babe that loves sex and lives to please me. Then why am I doing what I’m doing? Ambria? That’s just season 4 on Phicklephilly someday on Netflix.
Sometimes I think that writing this blog has finally released everything in me and I’ve found the perfect forum to do it. But what if phicklephilly is actually driving me to offend? What if because I have this forum now, I’m doing things and pushing the envelope to create better content?
Art imitating life, imitating art?
I think that’s what’s happening. I need content. I want to tell my stories and I love writing about my childhood. It feels wonderful to finally release all of my experiences and feelings onto the page. I love all of my followers and they have been amazing and supportive. This has been the best therapy that I never had to pay for.
I can get it all out and finally dump the freight car of baggage and stories I’ve been carrying around in my head for decades.
Can you even comprehend what that feeling is like? Once I write it and post it, I’m clear. I’ve worked it out and told the story. I publish and it’s out of me. It’s been a nightmare holding all of this in.
Now it’s all out there. Everything will eventually be out there to free myself of this burden in my hand.
When I started this blog I wrote about waitresses, crazy girls, and shitty dates I attempted to go on. Then I started to write about my relationships. That’s when the blog started to sing for me. But it was hard. Because those love affairs were over. So I had to romanticized dead relationships and dredge up all of those memories. Good and bad.
Then the rebounds and even more crazy.
Then I meet a great girl. Seems impossible I can go again with a girl this young but it works. But then when we’re in a rough patch of distance I willfully have an affair.
Something must have been missing, or do I just suddenly have the power and the availability?
This is all new ground for me and I don’t know why I even did it. I’m a decent, loyal man and I love my girlfriend very much. I don’t want to lose her and I don’t think I will. If you’ve been reading this blog you’ll know that we’re rock solid as ever and our relationship is glorious.
She’s over on the other side of the world with her family. I hope they’re all laughing and eating and happy together.
I’m not sorry for Ambria, but it happened.
I’ve worked 20 days in row at the salon non-stop to hold it together because it’s what’s needed. We’ve burned through 4 employees in a month and we have to get this gym open by Labor Day. I’ve got money tied up in this business. It needs to be successful and I won’t rest until it is.
I fit my friends in when I can and I’m making it work, but the grind is getting to me. But I’ll see it through for the business. The results could make us all wealthy.
My life is beautiful. Everything is moving forward. I’ve never been happier. I should have learned my lesson. I want things to work between me and lovely Cherie, who seems to be the perfect girl for me.
Everything’s great right?
Why do I keep saying how much I love Cherie and how happy I am over and over?
Am I trying to convince all of you?
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