If Your Man Does These 7 Things, Never Let Him Go

So, if you are lucky to have that ‘one of a kind’ type of guy, grab his hand and never let it go. In fact, run to some island and live your happily ever after life.

Now, if your man does these 7 things, you should never let him go:

1. Respects you

Not every man can respect you as a woman. If he treats you with respect and does not in any way demean you, keep him close to your bosom.

2. Makes you feel like a queen

You are a queen and you are confident about every bit of you. However, your man has the responsibility to compliment you every now and then and treat you like the queen you are.

3. He supports you

Instead of supporting you, some men will try to bring you down whenever they see you are rising up the success ladder because they feel threatened. A man who stands by you and pushes you to achieve your dreams is a rare kind and you can’t afford to lose him.

4. Loves you

People get into relationships with various intentions. However, if you are in a relationship with a man who truly loves you and you have no doubt about it, you are one lucky woman.

5. No trust issues

Marriages are breaking every day due to unfaithfulness. If you can trust him fully with your love, secrets, and money issues, you might never find such a man again if you let him go.

6. Sacrifices for your sake

Everyone has their life to get busy with. But if he can afford to sacrifice some time from his tight schedule just to be with you, you will never regret keeping him.

7. Listens to you

Every woman’s dream is to have a man who can listen to all her worries, concerns, and updates about the happenings in her life. If he spares his time to listen to all you have to say without complaining, hold on to him.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

The 16 Next Level Signs She Wants a Serious Relationship with You

When two people like each other, things can get a little tricky. I know it should be very straightforward, but let’s be honest, it’s never easy when it comes to people. Instead, you navigate the signs she wants a serious relationship with you to see what’s up.

I wish it could be an “I like you, you like me, let’s be together” type of deal, but most of the time, we’re trying to decode each other’s actions and words to see where we stand. Maybe this girl is a close friend of yours, or you have been casually seeing each other. You’re not sure if she’s looking for something serious or not.

Now, you could just ask her. I mean, it would save you a lot of time and energy. But I also understand the fear of being rejected.

16 strongest signs she wants a serious relationship with you

No one wants to pour their heart out and get turned down. I’ve seen it happen, and it really traumatizes people. So, before you ask her if she’s looking for something serious, why not try to look at the signs she’s giving you.

The signs? Yes, the signs. She’s showing you what she wants; you just need to see it. Of course, there are some people that show positive signs, then change their minds. And it can happen. But let’s assume whatever she’s showing you is what she wants.

That way you make a move regardless. It’s best to figure out what she wants now rather than later. The signs she wants a serious relationship with you are there, do you see them?

#1 You feel it. There’s just something you feel deep inside of you when you’re around her. You notice she’s acting closer, and making you feel her feelings have become more serious. These are feelings that you can’t necessarily put words to. You just feel that she really likes you and wants something more.

#2 She’s opened up to you. People don’t open up to just anyone they meet. There needs to be a certain level of trust. Of course, just because someone trusts you, doesn’t mean they want something serious with you.

She could see you as a good friend. But if she’s opening up to you, she’s letting her guard down. If other signs she wants a serious relationship with you are also popping out, then this could mean she wants something more.

#3 She’s asked about your dating history. She wants to know what kind of baggage you’re carrying with you. Why would she want to know that if she wasn’t into you? Of course, if she’s sniffing around and trying to investigate your past, she wants to know what kind of partner you’ll be to her.

#4 She touches you. Okay, this doesn’t mean she’s jumping on you and ripping your clothes off. It should be her touching your arm when she laughs or hugging you. These aren’t huge gestures, but they do show a physical connection. Touch is an important part of intimacy, and if she’s touching you frequently, she’s trying to get closer to you.

#5 She spends a lot of time with you. Let’s get this straight, if she wasn’t into you, she wouldn’t be spending her time with you. It’s really that simple. She wouldn’t be spending any time with you. But if she’s making time to see you, then this is something to take into consideration. Her time is valuable, and she’s not going to waste it on someone she doesn’t like.

#6 She’s making small commitments. She’ll sleep over at your house, leave her stuff there, and always have a date night with you. These aren’t big moves, but when you really look at them, she’s making commitments to the relationship. That really shows she’s into having something serious with you.

#7 She talks about her issues with you. Maybe there’s something about you and her that is an issue for her. But instead of letting it slide, she confronts you on it. And if she does that, she’s interested in improving your relationship, which means a lot. She wants to make this relationship the best it can be.

#8 She puts you on her social media. When it comes to social media, she’s not going to put photos of a guy up if she’s not serious about him. If she did, it would cancel out all the other guys that she could possibly connect with. So, she’s not going to jeopardize herself unless she’s really into you. 

#9 She drops hints about the future. Oh, she is dropping some crazy hints to you, and maybe you see them or maybe not. But if she mentions traveling with you in the summer or going to her nephew’s birthday in a couple of weeks, she’s trying to make things more serious.

#10 She actively listens to you. There are times when we’re listening to someone talk, but not really listening. Do you know what I mean? But when you’re with her, she really listens. And that says a lot about how she feels about you. If she didn’t care, she wouldn’t be paying so much attention to you.

#11 She’s introduced you to friends and family. Have you met her family and close friends? If so, it’s a pretty big deal. No one is going to bring just anyone home to meet the family. She’s bringing you home to show her family to see what they think. 

#12 She spends important holidays with you. Whether it’s Christmas or Thanksgiving, she’ll make sure to spend those holidays with you. She’ll even spend the holidays with your family or invite you to her home. Either way, this is a huge step as she’s letting you into her inner circle.

#13 She makes you a priority. She used to see you only when she had time, but now things have changed. She’ll cancel plans or switch them around if it means she gets some extra time alone with you. That’s a pretty big deal. Once you’ve become a priority in someone’s life, they see you as someone important.

#14 She remembers the small details about you. You know, when we’re trying to figure how someone feels about us, we always try to look for big signs. But those aren’t the signs you should be paying attention to. It’s all about the small things she does. If she remembers the smallest details, things you enjoy watching on TV or your favorite flavor of chips, that’s a big deal.

#15 She’s not interested in dating anyone. She’s removed any dating apps she had on her phone and isn’t going on dates with other people. If someone does that, they’re transitioning into a more exclusive relationship with you. If she wasn’t sure about you, she would continue dating other people.

#16 She talks about the future. But not just any future. When she talks about the future, you’re included in her dreams and goals. Now, this is a big thing, as she envisions her future with you in it. If that’s the case, it looks like she has serious feelings for you.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

7 Signs Someone Is Too Immature For A Relationship, According To Experts

Have you ever been dating someone, and how they act or the way they communicate makes you pretty darn confused or upset? Well, it’s not an uncommon experience to encounter by any means. And while baffling or frustrating interactions can often be part of figuring out a relationship and a new person, certain behaviors can also be a sign of emotional immaturity that indicates you might want to back away from the situation to find a person more on your level. (Or, on the other hand, you might recognize some of these behaviors in yourself! But that’s OK because growing is what life is all about.)

“We often expect a person to be mature once they reach a certain age, yet emotional maturity is not guaranteed with any chronological age,” clinical psychologist Dr. Carla Marie Manly, tells us. “Emotional immaturity can be present in any person — regardless of age — if they have not matured psychologically.”

And yes, it can really be hard to discern people’s behavior and what it all means, despite maturity levels. We often make allowances for people if we are really attracted to them or like them a lot. But ultimately it all comes down to what we want and need out of a relationship, and being honest with ourselves about that. Below, take a look at what some of the pros say about behavior and communication styles that could be a sign that a new partner isn’t ready for a relationship.

1. They Demand Too Much Attention From Their Partners Or Potential Partners

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“Matured individuals are aware that everybody needs personal space and time for themselves to grow,” dating and relationship expert Celia Schweyer, from DatingScout.com, tells Bustle.

People who do not understand this concept are usually those who make the relationship complicated and tend to get disappointed when their partners prefer to do other things instead of spending time with them.

“This kind of thinking is associated with egocentric behaviors where kids think that the world revolves only around themselves,” Schweyer says. So notice if someone really struggles to allow you to do your own thing.

2. They Badmouth Their Exes

It’s never a good sign when people constantly talk about their exes, and it’s really not a great sign if all they do is badmouth them. It can often indicate a serious lack of perspective.

“It’s already bad that your date or partner keeps talking about their ex,” Schweyer says. “What’s worse is when they can’t stop talking negatively about them whenever you’re together.”

On the one hand, this could mean that they are simply not over their exes. But if they communicate only negative things about their exes, your date might be the problem in the first place.

3. They Blame Other People A Lot

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This negative talk about other people might continue into other areas of life as well. If the focus is always on what other people do wrong and how they screw things up, this might be a sign that this person’s ability to see their part in things is a little lackluster.

“Emotionally immature people look for someone to blame when things go south,” Schweyer says. “You can spot this red flag in the way they handle their smallest issues like unpaid bills, missed schedules, or bad restaurant services.”

While it’s one thing to have a moment of anger, Schweyer says, it’s an indication of a deeper behavioral issue if they can’t seem to let go of it after a while.

4. They Don’t Listen Well

Someone being too full of themselves and refusing to listen to what others have to say is a clear sign of emotional immaturity, Schweyer says. You want someone who is able to communicate with you and process what you are saying in a real, respectful way.

“People who are like this often have a mindset that they are always right, so they don’t need your opinion,” Schweyer says. “They wouldn’t be the type of people who would care about your thoughts, and they might even get offended when you try to suggest a different way of doing things.”

Consider friends or family members who make you feel heard and appreciated. Does this person make you feel that way as well? If not, they may not be what you’re looking for.

5. They Overanalyze The Littlest Things

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An emotionally immature person may overanalyze and you’ll find yourself fighting over the silliest things, Schweyer says. “Your tone, words, and the appalling lack of an emoji — these can be a few of the petty details you’ll fight on when they nitpick,” she adds.

Since a mature and healthy relationship is built on trust, dating someone who questions your every move can be draining, Schweyer says. It is a surefire sign that your partner isn’t as trusting and ready as they claim to be.

6. Playing Emotional Games And Unpredictable Behavior

Passive-aggressive behaviors and game-playing tactics like not showing up as planned or ghosting-type behaviors are all indicative of immaturity, Manly says. So are other more volatile or unpredictable behaviors, like outbursts of serious jealousy.

Other kinds of emotional instability may include disrespecting boundaries or being possessive or overly suspicious. These are all indicative of sometimes even greater struggles than immaturity, and should not be taken lightly.

You deserve to have a loving relationship with someone based on trust and boundaries you both communicate with one another.

7. They Engage In Many Self-Centered Activities

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“Immature people can be tempting to date because often they can be lighthearted, funny, and exciting,” marriage and family therapist Lauren O’Connell, LMFT, with a private practice in Santa Monica, tells us.

There are a lot of behaviors that might indicate someone is not ready to show up fully for another person.

“If they drink or smoke a lot, never offer to pay on dates, encourage you to come over to their house but don’t pay much attention to you, if you never see them without their friends if they never put their phone down,” O’Connell says, these are all warning signs of immaturity.

When you recognize these things, it might be disappointing. But it’s also the knowledge that will help you spot a person who is mature and available for a partnership or reciprocal relationship!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Dating Red Flags: 6 Early Warning Signs You Shouldn’t Ignore

Here’s an interesting piece sent to me by one of my female readers.

Take it away, Lila.

When you’re in the throes of online dating (or any kind of dating!), it’s easy to want to make something work. You get excited at the slightest hint of someone normal, someone who can hold a conversation, someone — dare I say — cute?! So, you put on those rose-colored glasses and rationalize behavior that should be hinting at flags ahead.

But, we need to take the messages our dates are sending at face value because what they’re telling you through their words and actions is exactly what you should believe. You want to date someone who already is who you want to date – not someone you’re hoping could become the person you want to date. And, that means paying attention to both the positive and negative signs they’re sending that could reveal their true colors.

From the flaky second date that’s just so busy they can’t quite commit to an exact time and place to the literal saint that’s eager to pick you up from the airport, here are the scenarios we’ve seen play out again and again – and why we wished we’d listened to what they had to say about our date’s true colors.

1. They cancel… with no plans to reschedule.

We get it, things come up. You have to stay at work late, you come down with a bug, a friend has a crisis that needs your attention right this minute – and sometimes dates have to be canceled. But, if your date cancels without the suggestion of a rescheduled time and place, don’t send that follow-up text next week. As Brooke Sprowl, LCSW, of My LA Therapy, pointed out, “When there is a continued pattern of breaking dates or being too occupied to make plans, that’s usually a sign of disinterest.” By canceling without suggesting a back-up plan, they’re sending a clear message that this isn’t a priority.

2. They’re always just so busy.

I’m busy, you’re busy, we’re all busy! Friends, workout classes, meetings – these keep our millennial calendars jam-packed. However, if a date is always just so busy that they can’t commit to a firm time and place, they’re basically saying, “Well…maybe I can see you if I have nothing better going on the Wednesday after next at approximately 6-7 pm.” And, guess what? YOU are too busy for that. You deserve someone who puts plans with you ahead of their tentative coworker happy hour. Sprowl added, “Even the busiest people make time when they really like someone.”

3. They aggressively criticize someone… particularly an ex.

I’ll never forget the first date that I had several years ago. He was handsome, super-smart, we had great chemistry – then, a couple of hours in, he mentioned that he had recently broken off an engagement. That would have been totally fine, had he not proceeded to trash his “crazy ex” for the next 10 minutes. If someone feels comfortable criticizing others so aggressively, just remember, someday those tables may get turned on you. Matchmaker Rori Sassoon added, “Remember that it takes two to make it and two to break it, action brings reaction so there has to be some accountability on both ends. Your date may have been acting in a certain way during the relationship to bring about their ex’s ‘crazy’ behavior. You may be the next ‘crazy’ ex.”

4. They lay on the compliments and the romance too quickly.

“When a new love interest is in a big hurry to move the relationship from first date to soulmate, beware,” Relationship Coach Toni Coleman said. You’re the one they’ve been waiting for. You’re the most stunning human being they’ve ever seen. They take you to the most romantic restaurant in the city on your first Bumble date. If they’re laying it on thick with over-the-top compliments and romance, stop to think for a second – do they even know you yet? (Hint: the answer is no and you’re probably not the first woman this week to experience their act.) This can be a sign of neediness, but it could also be an early sign of controlling behavior, Coleman added.

5. They say things that don’t quite add up.

If your spidey senses are tingling that something about their story doesn’t add up – believe yourself.  According to Coleman, you should “…listen to that internal voice that tells you something just doesn’t feel right. Listening to your gut will help you to avoid dating mistakes and the potential heartache that can result from falling for someone who isn’t who they say they are.” You don’t need to do the research, you don’t need to stick around to learn more, just trust your instincts that you’re sensing something isn’t quite right. If they’re lying about little things, what else will they lie about?

6. Lastly, a bonus: they’re rude to the waiter, a bartender, or anyone in a service position.

Come on, at this point, we all realize that if they’re rude to one person, it’s likely they’ll someday turn that behavior on you — right?!

Positive Signs You Shouldn’t Ignore…

It’s easy to focus on tiny details with a first date that truly don’t matter. Here are a few positive attributes that weigh more in the long run than if you hated their social media or they wore sunglasses inside.

1. They’re consistent.

On the flip side of the canceler and the busy bee, there’s the date that’s reliable and consistent. They set a time and a place and they keep it. They say they’ll call you and they do. Whenever I poll my friends who’ve been through the online dating gauntlet and come out with a long-term relationship, they’ll always point to their significant other’s consistency as the turning point when they knew something was different – in a good way.

2. They listen to you.

Listening is underrated. If you’re out on a date and the person’s attention is focused solely on you, with thoughtful two-way conversation, insightful questions, and no one-upping, you’ve found someone worth getting to know a bit further. And, according to Heidi McBain, a female-focused marriage and family counselor in Houston, Texas, the best way to know if your date is someone ready to offer you their undivided attention: they’ve put their phone away or, better yet, shut it off completely.

3. They offer to pick you up at the airport.

No one loves sitting in the arrivals line at the airport. So, if someone you’ve been dating offers to grab you from the airport after a weekend away, they’re someone who values acts of service as a way to show their affection. This applies to any less than desirable act of service only a friend would pull through on. Think helping you put together IKEA furniture or providing a helping hand when hanging curtain rods.

Speaking from experience, a partner who focuses on acts of service is someone you’ll want in your life for the long haul.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

5 Ways To End Drama In Your Relationship

Every human relationship has the potential for drama from time to time.

Everyone has wound up in an argument that’s spiraled out of control at one time or another. But a couple that experiences a drama-free relationship isn’t due to their innately chill nature, or not entirely at least.

Being drama-free takes a bit of practice. Here are 5 ways to end unnecessary drama in your relationship.

1. Communicate openly and freely

This is the first point on our list because it is easily the most important. If there’s anyone you should be able to communicate anything to, it’s your partner. Communicating your needs can leave you exposed and vulnerable, but the alternative is uncertainty, which carries with it the potential for even worse outcomes.

Without communication, small nuisances can fester into resentment. Resentment can lead you to do and say things that you otherwise probably wouldn’t. Things like passive-aggressive remarks, careless behavior, and talking behind your partner’s back. All of these things can lead to drama in your relationship. Open communication is one of your best defenses against drama.

2. Practice active listening

Communication is only 50% of what it takes to avoid drama in your relationship. The other half of the equation is active listening.

It is not uncommon for arguments to devolve into two people just waiting for their turn to yell. You should feel like there is space in your relationship to speak your truth, but active listening is important for anyone wanting to avoid drama in their relationship. When communicating with your partner, let them speak, listen to their words, and take into consideration what that means. And expect the same of them as well.

3. Walk a mile in their shoes

Drama inherently stems from a lack of empathy. We are at our most dramatic when we are hyper-focused on ourselves – our feelings, our needs, our wants – and not thinking at all about the other person.

Empathy is the ability to feel and understand another person’s feelings and experiences. It’s what causes you to feel creeped out when you see a spider crawling up someone else’s arm. The spider isn’t on your arm, but you know how it would make you feel, and that’s what gives you the creeped out feeling.

But empathy is something that we can block out or not take into consideration, which is dangerous when you’re in a relationship. Before you do something or say something that you know could cause drama in your relationship, stop and think: how would this feel if my partner did this to me?

4. Don’t vent to mutual friends

I could probably break down each dramatic behavior one by one and talk about why you shouldn’t do them, but probably the most important thing to avoid is venting to mutual friends about your relationship. It doesn’t matter if you were friends with them first, if you share a friendship with another person, they need to be off the table when discussing problems in your relationship with others. To vent to a mutual friend is equivalent to talking behind your partner’s back.

It can be a good thing to have a trusted confidant when talking about relationship issues. But communicating with your partner is the most important kind of communication. So before you vent to others, ask yourself: should I just communicate my feelings to my partner? Doing so will likely yield more favorable results.

5. Leave a relationship with grace

Relationships can be dynamic and changing. A person you are friends with today could be your lover someday, and a lover today could be your best friend tomorrow. If the decision has been made to end a romantic relationship in favor of a platonic relationship, leave that relationship with dignity and grace. Even if you’re on your way out, consider the things we’ve discussed so far in this article.

Communicate freely with your partner, even if they’re no longer your lover, be an active listener, empathize with them, and don’t vent to mutual friends.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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10 Ways to Woo a Girl the Right Way

The early days of dating are always the fun part. It’s where you can’t stop thinking about your girl and how you can make her happy. From flowers to chocolates and balloons, you have a lot of plans that are guaranteed to put a smile on her face.

However, as courtship ends, you feel less and less enthusiastic about wooing her. And that’s where problems happen and relationships break apart.

To keep your relationship in the best condition, here are some tips on how to woo a girl:

1. Be Genuine

We live in a world wherein being genuine has become such a rare quality. People are always being fake, pretending to be someone they’re not in order to impress the girl. Just think of online social media platforms where single men and women create “images” of themselves.

In-person though, a discerning eye can tell real people from fakes. Be genuine and be appreciated for who you truly are.

2. Be chivalrous

I would strongly like to believe that chivalry isn’t dead. Be polite, open doors, walk on the traffic side of the road, and escort her and her friend’s home.

You may think these are small things but these small gestures will never go unnoticed. It’s not that she can’t do these things by herself but it is always good to know that there is someone who’s looking out for her.

3. Give her your undivided attention

Get off that mobile phone of yours when you are with her. You will have plenty of time to check game scores or reply to your messages and emails when you are home. Unless it is extremely urgent, it will always be appreciated if you can give your phones a rest and give your undivided attention to her.

4. Notice her and likes & dislikes

Always take mental notes of her likes and dislikes and surprise her when she least expects it. Take her to her favorite concert, order her favorite drink when she’s running late, notice when she gets a haircut or wears something different.

She will really appreciate the fact that you are taking a keen interest in her and what she likes, and it will make her feel very happy.

5. Be there when she needs someone

You sure as hell don’t need to be a girl’s doormat but you definitely want to be her shoulder to cry on when she needs it. If she needs someone by her side, make sure it’s you. It will show her how committed, dependable, and serious you are about having her in your life and wanting to be in hers.

6. Don’t keep talking about yourself, learn to listen

No one likes a person who only talks about themselves and shows no interest in learning about the other person. If you are only going to keep bragging about yourself and your life, rest assured she will not turn to give you another look. Show a real interest in getting to know her better; it will take you a long way.

7. Make her feel special

If she is having a bad day, let her vent to you and be supportive about it. In fact, all you probably need to do is to listen.

Remember small dates like the first time you’ve met or the first time you took her out on a date. Make an effort to celebrate these with her. Do whatever is in your power to make her feel loved and cherished.

8. Keep that element of surprise

Now that you have learned about what makes her happy, surprise her by using that information to your advantage. If she has a fantasy of a perfect date, make it happen for her. If she’s feeling low, show up on her doorstep to take her for a drive. Keep the element of surprise alive in order to keep her wondering and the excitement going.

9. Let her know that you are thinking about her

Drop her a message in the middle of the workday to check how her day is going or pick her up from work so that you’ll get that extra 30 minutes to spend together. Message her good morning first thing when you wake up or send her flowers or any small memento that makes you think of her.

Whatever big or small it may be, show her that you are thinking about her.

10. Open up to her

Many men are brought up to avoid being vulnerable in front of the girl. However, think about it. You only open up in front of people you truly care about and are truly comfortable with. If you talk about your fears or your problems or what makes you sad, it will show her that you are really invested in her and are not there just to pass your time.

We live in a world where women are strong and independent. They don’t need a man to be able to provide for them. They don’t need someone who can pay for a date. They are more than capable of doing that themselves.

Instead, how about a man who can treat them right because somehow that breed has become very rare in the 21^st century. Make her feel loved and special. Always think of being in the wooing phase even after being in a stable relationship for a while.

This way you will never take each other for granted. Often, spontaneity is the key to a happy relationship. Be on your toes and keep her on hers. In turn, she will surprise you with her love and loyalty as well.

As Marilyn Monroe says, “A girl doesn’t need anyone who doesn’t need her.”

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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