7 Signs Someone Is Too Immature For A Relationship, According To Experts

Have you ever been dating someone, and how they act or the way they communicate makes you pretty darn confused or upset? Well, it’s not an uncommon experience to encounter by any means. And while baffling or frustrating interactions can often be part of figuring out a relationship and a new person, certain behaviors can also be a sign of emotional immaturity that indicates you might want to back away from the situation to find a person more on your level. (Or, on the other hand, you might recognize some of these behaviors in yourself! But that’s OK because growing is what life is all about.)

“We often expect a person to be mature once they reach a certain age, yet emotional maturity is not guaranteed with any chronological age,” clinical psychologist Dr. Carla Marie Manly, tells us. “Emotional immaturity can be present in any person — regardless of age — if they have not matured psychologically.”

And yes, it can really be hard to discern people’s behavior and what it all means, despite maturity levels. We often make allowances for people if we are really attracted to them or like them a lot. But ultimately it all comes down to what we want and need out of a relationship, and being honest with ourselves about that. Below, take a look at what some of the pros say about behavior and communication styles that could be a sign that a new partner isn’t ready for a relationship.

1. They Demand Too Much Attention From Their Partners Or Potential Partners

fizkes / Shutterstock

“Matured individuals are aware that everybody needs personal space and time for themselves to grow,” dating and relationship expert Celia Schweyer, from DatingScout.com, tells Bustle.

People who do not understand this concept are usually those who make the relationship complicated and tend to get disappointed when their partners prefer to do other things instead of spending time with them.

“This kind of thinking is associated with egocentric behaviors where kids think that the world revolves only around themselves,” Schweyer says. So notice if someone really struggles to allow you to do your own thing.

2. They Badmouth Their Exes

It’s never a good sign when people constantly talk about their exes, and it’s really not a great sign if all they do is badmouth them. It can often indicate a serious lack of perspective.

“It’s already bad that your date or partner keeps talking about their ex,” Schweyer says. “What’s worse is when they can’t stop talking negatively about them whenever you’re together.”

On the one hand, this could mean that they are simply not over their exes. But if they communicate only negative things about their exes, your date might be the problem in the first place.

3. They Blame Other People A Lot

Two unhappy lesbians not talking to each other after having quarrel during lunch at coffee shop: sad redhead woman feeling lonely while her girlfriend sitting next to her.

Shutterstock

This negative talk about other people might continue into other areas of life as well. If the focus is always on what other people do wrong and how they screw things up, this might be a sign that this person’s ability to see their part in things is a little lackluster.

“Emotionally immature people look for someone to blame when things go south,” Schweyer says. “You can spot this red flag in the way they handle their smallest issues like unpaid bills, missed schedules, or bad restaurant services.”

While it’s one thing to have a moment of anger, Schweyer says, it’s an indication of a deeper behavioral issue if they can’t seem to let go of it after a while.

4. They Don’t Listen Well

Someone being too full of themselves and refusing to listen to what others have to say is a clear sign of emotional immaturity, Schweyer says. You want someone who is able to communicate with you and process what you are saying in a real, respectful way.

“People who are like this often have a mindset that they are always right, so they don’t need your opinion,” Schweyer says. “They wouldn’t be the type of people who would care about your thoughts, and they might even get offended when you try to suggest a different way of doing things.”

Consider friends or family members who make you feel heard and appreciated. Does this person make you feel that way as well? If not, they may not be what you’re looking for.

5. They Overanalyze The Littlest Things

Sad couple having conflict and relationship problems

Shutterstock

An emotionally immature person may overanalyze and you’ll find yourself fighting over the silliest things, Schweyer says. “Your tone, words, and the appalling lack of an emoji — these can be a few of the petty details you’ll fight on when they nitpick,” she adds.

Since a mature and healthy relationship is built on trust, dating someone who questions your every move can be draining, Schweyer says. It is a surefire sign that your partner isn’t as trusting and ready as they claim to be.

6. Playing Emotional Games And Unpredictable Behavior

Passive-aggressive behaviors and game-playing tactics like not showing up as planned or ghosting-type behaviors are all indicative of immaturity, Manly says. So are other more volatile or unpredictable behaviors, like outbursts of serious jealousy.

Other kinds of emotional instability may include disrespecting boundaries or being possessive or overly suspicious. These are all indicative of sometimes even greater struggles than immaturity, and should not be taken lightly.

You deserve to have a loving relationship with someone based on trust and boundaries you both communicate with one another.

7. They Engage In Many Self-Centered Activities

WAYHOME studio/Shutterstock

“Immature people can be tempting to date because often they can be lighthearted, funny, and exciting,” marriage and family therapist Lauren O’Connell, LMFT, with a private practice in Santa Monica, tells us.

There are a lot of behaviors that might indicate someone is not ready to show up fully for another person.

“If they drink or smoke a lot, never offer to pay on dates, encourage you to come over to their house but don’t pay much attention to you, if you never see them without their friends if they never put their phone down,” O’Connell says, these are all warning signs of immaturity.

When you recognize these things, it might be disappointing. But it’s also the knowledge that will help you spot a person who is mature and available for a partnership or reciprocal relationship!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

5 Things Men Must Give Up To Be With The Right Woman

Be the man you know she deserves.

As we get older, we find more things changing around us without any real warning. Our priorities shift, our goals shift, our desires for what to do on the weekends shift.

Suddenly, you realize your priorities are changing — and you have to change, too. Change is hard because it requires losing people and things from our lives, oftentimes people or things that have been a big part of our existence for a long time.

But the funny thing is you eventually realize you’re not really losing or giving up anything at all; you’re simply shedding the skin of your life which no longer serves you.

Here are five things men need to “give up” when learning how to find love. Because to find the woman of your dreams, self-improvement plays a huge role.

1. Your bad habits

Maybe you’re terrible at saving money. Maybe you’re a poor communicator. Maybe you don’t eat as healthy or workout as often as you should.

The point is, to be with the right woman, you’ve got to work to become the right man. It’s true that the right woman will love you for who you are, but it’s also true that she’ll hold standards for herself and the man she allows into her life.

2. Your need to be right

No relationship is sunshine and rainbows all the time, despite the vision you may get from some of my other articles. There will be disagreements, there will be arguments, and there will be, above all, compromise.

When these situations arise, flexibility is key. You cannot always have things your way and expect a relationship to operate smoothly. It requires give and take from both people.

If either teammate feels the need to constantly be right, they’ll be closed off to hearing and adjusting to their partner’s opinions, and the relationship will implode.

3. Your ego

When we’re in our early 20s, we’re invincible. We don’t need anyone. We’re the crème de la crème. But with maturity comes the realization that nobody’s perfect and we have a lot to learn.

Subsequently, we understand that many of these learning experiences come from the woman we will fall in love with, as she brings a fresh perspective to our lives. But in order to open ourselves up to these experiences, we must leave our ego where it belongs: in the past.

4. Your immaturity

Maybe your avoidance of commitment or aversion to romance served you well when your weekends were full of bars and clubs, but when you’re building a foundation for a future with a mature, established woman, you must adjust your approach.

Successful couples learn and grow together. They mature as individuals and as a team. To be part of this team, you need to understand that growing up, women didn’t dream of men who gave them a mediocre effort. Give her your passion, love, honesty, and energy.

5. Your short-term thinking

When we’re younger, it’s natural to think a little less about the future and a little more about the present.

The right woman will understand that it’s difficult to plan a future with someone who has no future plan for themselves. She’ll only want to commit to someone who will pledge to not only support her while she pursues her goals but who pursues his own as well.

It won’t fly to just “see where things go.” She’ll want a man who she can count on as her teammate in life and in love.

The best part about giving up these things is that you aren’t really losing anything at all.

In fact, you’re gaining: wisdom, maturity, and the potential for a more fulfilling happiness than you’d find if you held onto these limiting habits. What are you really giving up? You’re giving up the boy you were to become the man you were always meant to be.

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

5 Things Men Must Give Up To Be With The Right Woman

Be the man you know she deserves.

As we get older, we find more things changing around us without any real warning. Our priorities shift, our goals shift, our desires for what to do on the weekends shift.

Suddenly, you couldn’t care less about the bar on a Friday night and just want a movie on the couch. Suddenly, you don’t about that one night stand and you just want someone to build a life with. Suddenly, you realize your priorities are changing — and you have to change, too.

Change is hard because it requires losing people and things from our lives, oftentimes people or things that have been a big part of our existence for a long time. But the funny thing is you eventually realize you’re not really losing or giving up anything at all; you’re simply shedding the skin of your life which no longer serves you.

Here are five things you need to “give up” in an effort to learn how to find love. Because to find the woman you’ll eventually realize you wanted all along, there’s self-improvement ahead.

1. His bad habits

Maybe you’re terrible at saving money. Maybe you’re a poor communicator. Maybe you don’t eat as healthy or workout as often as you should.

The point is, to be with the right woman you’ve got to work to become the right man. It’s true that the right woman will love you for who you are, but it’s also true that she’ll hold standards for herself and the man she allows into her life.

2. His need to be right

No relationship is sunshine and rainbows all the time, despite the vision you may get from some of my other articles. There will be disagreements, there will be arguments, and there will be, above all, compromise.

When these situations arise, flexibility is key. You cannot always have things your way and expect a relationship to operate smoothly. It requires give and take from both people.

If either teammate feels the need to constantly be right, they’ll be closed off to hearing and adjusting to their partner’s opinions, and the relationship will implode.

3. His ego

When we’re in our early 20s, we’re invincible. We don’t need anyone. We’re the crème de la crème. But with maturity comes the realization that nobody’s perfect and we have a lot to learn.

Subsequently, we understand that many of these learning experiences come from the woman we will fall in love with, as she brings a fresh perspective to our lives. But in order to open ourselves up to these experiences, we must leave our ego where it belongs: in the past.

4. His immaturity

Maybe your avoidance of commitment or aversion to romance served you well when your weekends were full of bars and clubs, but when you’re building a foundation for a future with a mature, established woman, you must adjust your approach.

Successful couples learn and grow together. They mature as individuals and as a team. To be part of this team, you need to understand that growing up, women didn’t dream of men who gave them a mediocre effort. Give her your passion, love, honesty, and energy.

5. His short-term thinking

When we’re younger, it’s natural to think a little less about the future and a little more about the present. The right woman will understand that it’s difficult to plan a future with someone who has no future plan for themselves. She’ll only want to commit to someone who will pledge to not only support her while she pursues her goals, but who pursues his own as well.

It won’t fly to just “see where things go.” She’ll want a man who she can count on as her teammate in life and in love.

The best part about giving up these things is that you aren’t really losing anything at all. In fact, you’re gaining: wisdom, maturity, and the potential for a more fulfilling happiness than you’d find if you held onto these limiting habits.

What are you really giving up? You’re giving up the boy you were to become the man you were always meant to be.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

My new book, Angel with a Broken Wing is now for sale on Amazon!

 

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Listen to the Phicklephilly podcast LIVE on Spotify!

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