Church – 2013 to Present -Seizure Salad

I’m sitting in my go to bar with Church. It’s our spot and it’s what we do. He’s sipping a Sailor Jerry and Coke, and I’m having my usual Chardonnay with a side of ice. He orders a salad and I go with the sliders. There is a couple a few seats down from me to my right. I know the guy, his name is Brian, but I don’t know the lady he’s with so I wave but don’t approach. He could be working.

On the left of Church, is a brunette in her thirties and an older gentleman. Looks like a lawyer. We don’t really pay any attention. We’re chatting and doing our thing.

Daphne rolls behind the bar and says hello. She tells me it’s a slow night. Not much happening. She goes back to her hostess stand and it’s just another night in paradise.

Suddenly, the woman who was sitting to Church’s left, goes off the bar stool and hits the floor. Normally, I’d call that Thursday night.  We see so many banged up people around the city losing their shit. But this woman was having a seizure. People within visual range are shocked and the bar goes quiet.

I point to the phone on the wall, because the bartender on duty didn’t see one of her patrons suddenly vanish from the bar. “Liz, call 911.”

She starts dialing. Church, with his cat-like reflexes, springs into action and goes from sitting next to me sipping a drink to all the way around the other side of her on the floor holding her head to keep her steady. I get down there and untangle her leg from the lower rail of his bar stool. I have the legs. Church is focuses on the poor woman’s head. She’s thrashing about, and Church is barking commands to those around him. He’s literally single-handedly coordinating the effort to help save this poor woman, and keeping her from injuring herself further.

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, but Church was formerly a Corpsmen in the United States Navy.

A Corpsman works in a wide variety of capacities and locations, including shore establishments such as naval hospitals and clinics, aboard ships, and as the primary medical caregivers for sailors while underway. Hospital corpsmen are frequently the only medical caregiver available in many fleet or Marine units on extended deployment. In addition, hospital corpsmen perform duties as assistants in the prevention and treatment of disease and injury and assist health care professionals in providing medical care to sailors and their families.

They may function as clinical or specialty technicians, medical administrative personnel and health care providers at medical treatment facilities. They also serve as battlefield corpsmen with the Marine Corps, rendering emergency medical treatment to include initial treatment in a combat environment. Qualified hospital corpsmen may be assigned the responsibility of independent duty aboard ships and submarines; Fleet Marine Service, SEAL and Seabee units, and at isolated duty stations where no medical officer is available.

Yea, pretty bad ass. That’s the guy you want next to you when somebody takes a header at your favorite bar.

She’s making what almost sounds like barking sounds, and staring wildly about. He’s got a good hold on her. He’s talking to her. But mostly he’s trying to keep her from bashing her face into the wooden wall of the bar. The bartender comes around, and some others have gathered. I grab a cloth napkin and ask if we need to put it in her mouth. I always heard that epileptics could bite or swallow their own tongues. Church says, no. He knows what he’s doing and has the situation well under control.

She seems to be calming down. I look over at the guy who was with her. He’s just standing there staring, and looking uncomfortable. The paramedics come and stabilize her. I feel so bad for her. It’s the holidays, and she’s out for a drinks and this horror befalls her. They get her onto the gurney and roll her out. The police are there and also ask some questions. Church is on point, he gives law enforcement the full report.

They also speak to the guy she came in with. He says he doesn’t know her very well. He met her over at DelFrisco’s steakhouse, and then brought her over here for a drink. That’s a big lawyer hang out. Not my scene. This guy didn’t do anything to help or comfort her when she had the seizure, and he didn’t go to the hospital with her. I don’t care if you just picked up the chick in a bar. Lady falls down, you go to the damn hospital with her. I’m thinking that weasel was married and didn’t want any problems. How would he explain to his wife that he was at the hospital with some other woman? I may be wrong, but I got the vibe something was definitely shady about that guy.

We go back to our seats at the bar and have another drink. Church is pissed because somebody was telling him to turn her head when she was foaming at the mouth and that’s not what you’re supposed to do. Me, I was just glad the lady was okay.

Daphne came over to chat and get a recap. I tell her what I know, and tease her.”You had to say it was a slow night and that nothing was happening, and look what you did, Daph…”

“I know, right? Me and my big mouth.”

Indeed…

 

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Carly – 2012 to Present – The Mad Baker

Carly is one of my favorite ladies in the city. She’s well-connected but doesn’t live in center city. She lives out in Manayunk. Sort of a hip suburb, west of Philly. It’s a fifteen minute drive to her house she’s so close. But to those of us that live in the bubble of Rittenhouse, she might as well be and hour away. I get out to Manayunk maybe once or twice a year.

I’ve been to her house. It’s nice. She’s there with her husband and her dogs. She loves dogs. She’s probably fostered twenty plus dogs in the time she’s lived here. When she’s not being the events director for a major restaurant here in the city, she has another interesting hobby other than the pups.

Carly is trained in the culinary arts. She makes wonderful pastries, muffins, cakes, and candies. But here’s the thing. Her baked goods have very special properties. They are all infused with cannabis oil. I don’t know how she makes these things but from what I hear they are all delicious. She can make any flavor you like. Vanilla, chocolate, cornbread, smores, peanut butter, blueberry…anything. She’s pretty talented. I’ve seen her little loaves go for eighty bucks. It’s only about seven inches long and a few inches high. But you can slice them down into eight servings. Actually you must do that. That’s to control the portions and your intake of the THC.

Eating pot as opposed to smoking it is quite a different experience. I’ve never been a fan of weed. I’ve done it, but I prefer alcohol. Smoking causes a nearly immediate sensation. Oxygen in the lungs carry the drug into the bloodstream and up to the brain to get you high. Whereas when you ingest the drug it takes longer for the high to hit but it comes with greater force and is more sustainable. Some call it, “The body high.”

For someone who smokes tons of weed, they could probably eat one and a half slices of the loaf. But for the light user, it’s best to start with half a slice and wait thirty minutes. Then if you feel a little something then you can take the rest. I have a friend who smokes loads of weed. She could eat two slices and handle it. Like alcohol, people have different tolerances. That, and some people like to practice the things they love.On Nov. 8, 2016, voters in nine states decided whether or not to legalize marijuana. Five of those states — Arizona, California, Maine, Massachusetts, and Nevada — saw ballot initiatives to legalize weed for recreational purposes. Voters in Arkansas, Florida and North Dakota decided whether to legalize medical cannabis. Montana voted on expanding medical marijuana rights.

As the election results rolled in, Florida was the first to officially announce it had legalized medical marijuana. North Dakota and Arkansas followed.

California and Massachusetts were the first of the states considering recreational pot to legalize it. Nevada soon followed.

Voters in Arizona ultimately rejected their state’s bid to legalize recreational marijuana. As of Wednesday, Nov. 10, 2016 Maine was on course to pass legal weed, however it wasn’t yet official.

In mid-April, Pennsylvania passed legislation to legalize medical marijuana, bringing the total number of states (plus Washington, D.C.) with some form of legal pot to 24. The majority of those states have legalized cannabis for medicinal purposes, however recreational marijuana use is fully legal in Alaska, Colorado, Oregon, and the District of Columbia.

If you get busted with weed in this city, I think if it’s under an ounce, the fine is a paltry $25. Once you pay your debt to society, it’s expunged from your record!

Mayor Kenney is for it and so is Governor Wolf. Legalization of marijuana in the state of Pennsylvania would save our school systems in this city. Can you imagine something that would get you in big trouble if you got caught doing it in school, is the very thing that keeps your school open now?

I hope it happens, because it seems like it would be great for Carly. She could own her own bakery somewhere, and all of the delicious things she makes would be available to all. Legally!

 

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