8 Overrated Date Night Ideas That Aren’t Worth The Stress

If you and your partner pride yourselves on always thinking outside of the box, you may already be a little weary of overrated date night ideas. Whether dinner and a movie just don’t cut it or you’d rather wax your entire body than take a ride in a horse-drawn carriage, being in love can mean putting your own spin on how you spend time together. Of course, communication and transparency are key. And if you’re not into an idea for date night or you’d rather be doing something else, it’s always OK to (politely) say so. Your boo will probably be happy you did.

Maybe your partner likes to make a big show out of holidays, and you prefer to keep things low-key. Or perhaps you love to go hiking, but your partner’s idea of being outside is sitting on the patio at their favorite bar. Planning a special date night doesn’t have to mean dragging your boo somewhere they don’t want to be or pretending you like a bunch of stuff that you don’t actually like. It can look like being open and honest with each other about where your head is at.

Here are eight overrated date night ideas to skip when you’d rather be doing something else.

Group of young men and women enjoying summer holiday at outdoor party.
Shutterstock

1. A Group-Hang (When You Really Wanted A One-On-One)

Listen, you love your group of friends. Heck, you probably love your boo’s group of friends, too. They might even be the same group of friends! While it’s nice to spend time with all of the people you care about, it’s also OK to want a one-on-one night with your partner. Whether you haven’t seen them for a while or just really want to connect, you never need to feel pressure to do a group-hang when you really want a hot date night for two.

2. An Expensive Anniversary Dinner (When You’d Rather Cook At Home)

Relationship milestones can mean something different to everyone. Maybe you’re excited to celebrate your six-month anniversary, but don’t really care about your two, three, or four-month anniversary. Maybe you’ve been dating for so long that you can’t remember when you started. While it’s totally OK to go all-out for every anniversary, you don’t need to feel pressure to spend a bunch of money or make a huge gesture to acknowledge how long you’ve been in love. If you’d rather cook at home or order take-out to celebrate, you can create your own kind of traditions — including not celebrating at all.

3. An All-Out Valentine’s Day Celebration (When You Wanted Something Small)

Just as you can celebrate your personal anniversaries and milestones however the heck you want, you get to make the rules about how you navigate holidays. Maybe you skip a fancy V-Day date to volunteer at the animal shelter. Perhaps you’d rather spend the holiday with your sister than your partner. Whatever the case, you don’t need to have a glamorous or super romantic date night for each and every holiday. You can just do you.

4. Going To The Movies (When You Were Hoping To Talk)

If you and your boo are total cinephiles, you may love going to the movies together. However, if you like to talk during dates or you really were hoping to connect deeper with your partner, silently sitting facing forward in a dark room may not be the best space to do that. It’s OK to tell your SO that you’ll meet them after they go to the movies. It’s also OK to ask them to do something more interactive on your date, like mini-golf, pottery painting, or getting coffee and catching up. The world is your dating oyster.

Young couple watching a movie on their laptop in bed
Shutterstock

5. A Double-Date (When You Don’t Even Like The Other Couple)

You don’t have to like all of your partner’s friends. I’ll say it again: You. Don’t. Have. To. Like. All. Of. Your. Partner’s. Friends. Should you be polite to them? Probably — you should consider treating them with empathy and respect in the same way that you’d treat anyone else. But do you need to go on a double-date to a restaurant you don’t like on the other side of town with them? Why no, you most certainly do not.

6. A Nature Outing (When You Actually Hate The Outdoors)

Yes, relationships are all about compromise. Sometimes, you have to go to your partner’s sister’s baby shower instead of eating a breakfast burrito in bed because you’re working on connecting your families more. However, if you hate, hate, hate spending time outdoors, you don’t need to go on a “cute nature date” with your partner. In fact, if you really hate anything — shopping, French food, going to the gym, nature museums, board games, etc. — you don’t need to feel the pressure to “suck it up” or “just deal with it.” Your boo likes you for you. They don’t like you for pretending to be someone that you’re not. It’s OK to let your partner enjoy their hobbies with other people who enjoy them, too. Meet up after and do something you both like.

7. A “Chill” Night At Home (When You Wanted To Go Out)

OK, if your boo has the stomach bug and just got fired from their job, chances are they aren’t in the mood to take you out on the town. However, if anniversaries or birthdays are important to you, or you just got a promotion or internship, and you’re trying to celebrate, you don’t need to feel any pressure to “chill” when you’d rather go out. You’re not “needy” or “materialistic” for wanting to have a special night with the person you’re dating. It’s OK to want to make a big deal out of something, and it’s OK to want more out of date night than take-out and a movie. There are plenty of thoughtful date ideas that don’t break the bank, so communicate how you feel and open up a dialogue with your partner about settling on a compromise.

8. Doing Something For The ‘Gram (When You Want To Connect IRL)

There’s no shortage of Instagram-worthy moments that happen on date nights (think: rooftop bars, flower walls, and neon signs with arbitrary messages like, “Here You Are”). While sharing your joy on social media can be a sweet way to connect with your friends and family, you never need to feel any pressure to get the “perfect shot” on date night, or to even Instagram about your date at all. You and your boo can connect IRL, and that can be enough.

 

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Alice – 2012 to Present – The Cute Recruiter – What Now?

I got a text from Alice the other day. “Did you hear what happened?” That doesn’t sound good. “Keila resigned. Please don’t say anything.”

 

I got a text from Alice the other day. “Did you hear what happened?” That doesn’t sound good. “Keila resigned. Please don’t say anything.”

I call her. She’s clearly upset. She says that Keila calmly walked into the office and said she was giving her two-week notice. Alice was stunned, but probably not entirely surprised. They have been working together for about two years now running this start-up. I never felt that Keila was the right candidate for the job. I like her and think she has a lovely heart, but it just never felt like a match for her skill set. But Alice felt strongly about bringing her on board and making a go of it.

They did well considering it was just the two of them, and the occasional intern. Alice always seemed under a great deal of pressure from the investors. She’s incredibly driven to have this business succeed. But I think she saw this coming. Keila wanted a raise, equity and then took a vacation during a financial crisis. That’s not what your partner does after you’ve given her the greatest job she’s ever had.  Maybe Keila thinks that the company is going to fail and wants to get out now before Alice has to let her go.

I don’t personally believe that. Alice will fight tooth and nail to keep her company afloat. I suppose the only upside to all of this is the biggest expense many companies face is staffing. With Keila gone, Alice will save a ton in payroll. This is such a shame, but Alice will prevail.

She actually took the high road and is having a farewell party for Keila. I’ll be attending that event with Church this week, so we’ll see how it plays out. (See: Church – 2012 to Present – Brand Ambassador)

On a lighter note, Alice called me the other day and asked if I’d be a reference for her to get a cat. “You need a reference to get a cat now?” was my response. Apparently you do. I told her I’d be happy to give her a good reference. Great thing is, Alice is so nice I won’t have to lie.

The lady from the shelter called me today, and I gave her the lowdown on the ruthless CEO I know from the IT recruitment firm. I told her about how long I’ve know Alice, and what she has done for me personally and professionally. I described her as a well-mannered, church going, grandpa loving, nephew adoring, all around super lady. There was no way that I could fake any of that, because it’s all true. Alice is truly one of the best people I know. She is a hard-working dedicated businesswoman, but she always makes time in her life for family and friends.

Keila gave her a glowing review as well. Now if Alice’s new landlord just gives the green light, she’ll have her cat. I hear he’s a big fat orange guy. May even have a little Maine Coon in him. If she gets this cat (and I believe she will) he’ll be in the hands of a loving companion.

I spoke with her today and she says she texted her new landlord and he replied “I said I’d let you know when they contacted me.” What an asshole. I’m sure it’ll work out for the best. She also said she was moving into her new apartment here in the city and her parents were helping her move. She also complained that she had terrible cramps and that 2016 was definitely not her year. (Love her mettle!)

I’ve been hearing that term more and more lately. “This is going to be your year.” I think that gives people a false sense of hope for success. I have found that there are high and low points in every life. Having suffered from anxiety and depression most of my life I know that it’s best to fly in the middle. We all have good years and bad years. A bad year would be one of grinding poverty and not being able to keep a roof over your head. A good year would be, “Netflix had decided to pick up Phicklephilly as a TV series with a three-year option.” (Not happening yet)  Every year has its ups and downs. I’ve learned to just enjoy the day you’re in right now. There will be ups and downs, but it all shakes out in the end.

 

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