Valerie – Love Me Tinder – Date 2

Another tale of one man’s journey through the dating scene in Philadelphia, searching

So here we are after my 2nd date with lovely Valerie. Last night we went out again. This time to the movies. (Her idea!) On our first date she said she would email me with what film she wanted to see. We both love film so I trust her judgement.

I headed down to the Ritz 5 in Society Hill. I stopped into the box office and picked up our tickets around 6:30, and then walked across the street to Positano Coast for a beer before the film. I met her at the theater at 6:50 and we headed in. She didn’t want any snacks and I was fine with that. She sort of picked where we sat and I was fine with that as well.

The film was The Light Between Oceans. It was good. A bit long, 2:13 running time. The cinematography was solid, the score was strong. But here’s the thing… It was a heartbreaking story. If you want to be sad and hurt, by all means go see this film. But I was with her and she was so well-behaved. Well behaved in the movie theater is super important to me. She was on time. Quiet and still during the show. Unlike that mess Carol from last Tuesday’s blog.

So after the movie we just sort of walked around in circles in Society Hill just catching up and chatting. It’s refreshing to be around someone who is a peer. What have I been thinking dating these younger women? It’s nice to have a conversation with someone who has a shared experience of life, career, marriage, divorce, kids, etc.

So it was getting a bit late. And when I say late I mean like, 9:30 on a school night. We stopped into Cavanaugh’s for a nightcap. We went upstairs and she had an Amstel Light and I had the house chardonnay.

I expressed to her that I was working on a new work opportunity and I had a very early Thursday. I wanted to make it very clear I wasn’t trying to bail or leave early. I told her I liked her and I enjoyed spending time with her. She was fine with it and she said she was tired too. She even said “We went to the early show and I’m yawning!” So we got out of there and I walked her to her door. We had a sweet goodnight kiss, and I told her I’d be in touch. I was going to take her to brunch on Saturday, and I told her that, but she is going to her son’s sporting event. I’m glad I told her that I was interested in her and wanted to see her again. So it’ll probably be some sort of food oriented date next.

I enjoy the long arc when it comes to dating. I want to see a woman and spend time with her until it slowly simmers and then comes to a boil in an explosion of lust and pulchritude. It’s just the way I am. The beginning is the best part. The courtship. The thrust and parry of our words and glances. A touch here, a stolen kiss there…and then ignition!

So like last week, this is a bonus blog that just happened last night so I wanted to crack it off as soon as possible to you dear readers. It wasn’t very long but this relationship will probably be a solid, no drama build up.

But in true PhicklePhilly tradition, I have a brunch date with a pretty Asian girl on Saturday, so there may be another bonus blog on Sunday!  Have a great weekend everyone.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday at 9am EST.

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Carol – There’s No Fun in Dysfunction – Part II

Another tale of one man’s journey navigating his way through the dating scene in Philadelphia.

When we last left out hero, he was hanging out in his office, with Carol. Sh’e about to drop an atomic bomb on him.

So we’re at the office and she has to call her mom and go around and around with her about it for a while and I’m like, “what am I doing here? This is painful.” So I just plow the vodka into me and after a while I’m chill and can deal with her. So eventually she calmed down after talking to her mom. I know there was some talk about her and her mom making some other ring out of something and Carol getting some kind of tattoo. To me…all a waste of time but her, it’s not my family. So at one point out of the blue she says to me the following words:

“Do you think I’m fat?”

Guys… fair warning here. I’m about to tell you what to do in this situation if it ever happens to you. Because this one is a biggie. Great thing is if you are a dog owner or a pet owner of any kind, just remember, your pet will never ask you shit like this. I’m really good at navigating the treacherous waters of the emotions of the fairer sex.

Okay. This is important. Here’s what we know:

You realize there’s no way I can possibly answer this and not have her upset one way or the other. If you think you look fat but don’t look fat, and I say you don’t, you’ll think I’m lying. If you don’t think you look fat but don’t look fat, and I say you don’t, you’ll think I’m just flattering you. If you do think you look fat and you are fat, and I say you don’t, you’ll know I’m lying. If, regardless of circumstances I say you look fat, you’ll be hurt and insulted. It’s nearly an unwinnable game that no man should have the misfortune to ever have to play.

Here are some options:

“Do you think I’m fat?”

  1. Carol you are a beautiful woman and perfect just the way you are.
  2. No! (be adamant)  I think you’re gorgeous.
  3. Here’s a bracelet. (Then run away really fast)

Unfortunately… I did none of the above. Normally I’m deadly with words and deeds and diplomacy when it comes to girls but I don’t know if it was the booze, the exhaustion, or the ringing in my ears from her last tirade, or a lethal combination of all three, but I said the following:

“I suppose we all could be in a little better shape.”

Cut to: Atomic bomb exploding.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have spoken to several of my friends about this incident and everyone agrees that my answer was wrong. Dead wrong. Again, I don’t know why I said it, but it came out. If I could have somehow reached out with my hands and pulled the words back and shoved them into my stupid gaping maw, I would have. But it was too late. Well Carol got very angry and stormed out of my office and left the building in a huff. On my way home I received the following drunken text from her:

“Home… About to exercise and diet and make myself throw up to be thin. I can’t wait to have an eating disorder so I look attractive to you. By the way, I am amazed at your 6 pack and your figure, you are fit amazingly attractive God!!! You are so fit and built. Noooo extra belly fat on you! Night. Hope I lose weight so someone like you finds me attractive… But I can only hope since I’m so fat.”

That is some angry volatile shit right there.

Realizing there were several factors that came together to cause this cataclysmic explosion of rage, I decided to not respond and just let her cool off. Besides, she’s not my girlfriend. Sure I fucked up. I broke the code. It happens. But did I deserve such a wicked verbal attack? Maybe not so much. I just decided to let the cards fall where they would. A week later, I got a big apology text from her. I kind of would have liked it in person, followed by some passionate kissing but in the long run. Apology accepted. So it was business as usual with us. The occasional Saturday bar hop. She had recently secured a job out in Plymouth Meeting at a recruitment firm. Recruitment is a tough job. I know people who do it and it’s tough. They are really hard workers and understand how the employer vs employee dynamic works and locking down the talent. It isn’t much money at first but if you work your ass off and keep at it the rewards can be great, but it is a grind that takes time. Like anything with high reward.

So I knew I’d be seeing less of her and it would be a struggle based on her history to get up at the alarm every morning and drive to work and be on time everyday. Stuff I take for granted that’s easy for me is sometimes really difficult for others. But these are basic functions to stay in step with humanity. get up, go to work and do your job. Repeat. So I hope she makes it.

She had been going to my friend’s tanning salon every Sunday because I had secured a deal there for her. But the deal ran out and she stopped coming. She said she found a cheaper place on her way home from work out in Rockledge or something. No sunburned skin off my nose.  I knew I would hear less and less from her because she was busy with her work and hanging on there and probably sleeping on the weekends because believe you me getting her going before 2pm on the weekends is normally a miracle. Which brings me to the latest incident.

She reached out to me on August 23rd of last week in a text and said:

Carol: “I miss hanging out. Can we hang soon?”

Me: “I’m available Saturday.”

Carol: Ok. We should do a Carol and (My Name) Day. I called you (My Name) which I never do.”

Me: “I’m fine with that. I’ll mark my calendar.”

Carol: “But not too early.”

Me: “Of course. Mid afternoonish is cool.”

Carol: “Ok. Let’s do it. I’ll set a reminder for myself.”

Me: 🙂

Last Saturday arrived and I figured I’d get a text around 3pm and then she may make it out sometime after that. I know it sucks. It’s like the whole day is wasted instead of me and Carol. I went to visit a friend of mine at her work and chatted awhile about it. Earlier in the week some people had done the perfunctory, ” Any plans for this weekend?” and I’d say I’m going to hang with Carol. But Saturday the hands of time went round and round without a word from Carol. My friend who I had been chatting with that day said, “When that happens to me I just assume they are really hung over or dead.” That’s great, I said but I don’t like being stood up. And when I really look at my life I really don’t have time for a handful like Carol. You may start to see a trend as I go forward with this blog, but it will all make sense in the near future why this sort of nonsense happens with these women.

So I went home, fixed myself a vodka and tonic, lit a cig and continued watching the Netflix exclusive series, Stranger Things. (Great show! Check it out.)

I went to Carol’s name in my phone and blocked her.  I need to make sure I only surround myself with people who value me. I have also recently blocked her on Instagram and Facebook. So I’m done with her.

Fucking Crickets!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday at 9am EST.

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Valerie – Love me Tinder – Date 1

Another tale of one man’s journey navigating his way through the dating scene in Philadelphia.

Hello! So here we are with another installment of Phickle Philly! It’s off the regular schedule of every Tuesday but this just happened. So let’s just jump into it. I recently went on Tinder. A friend of mine told me about it. Actually, he’s not a friend, he’s more an acquaintance. Actually he’s some sleazy lawyer that attached himself to me like a sea lamprey so he could get into events and eat and drink for free.

So I downloaded the app and set up a profile. I was honest about who I am and what I’m looking for on the site.  Well not totally, but after much thought I went with “LTR.” Long term relationship. Actually in truth I would just like to date a bit and then, and only then if I really click with someone it will become a long-term relationship. Some people want hook ups and some want casual dating and others want LTR. But lets face it people, Everybody wants a long term relationship. No matter how many ways you can deny it or say, “I just can’t” or “I’m not ready” that’s all bullshit. Unless you are just a wicked person that is mean and mentally ill and a felon or violent or on some sort of controlled substance and because you can’t break from your addiction you want to be in a LTR.

And I’ll tell you why. Remember the rush of falling in love? Yea. It’s the greatest drug in the world. Take it from someone has fallen in love many times. It’s amazing. The excitement the butterflies, the raw euphoria of falling in love with someone. There is nothing like it. The only thing that for me ever came close is playing rock on stage with my band and people are cheering about some song you wrote in your bedroom when you were broken-hearted because Linda isn’t returning your phone calls anymore. So I’m on Tinder to go on a few dates and see what happens, but we all know bottom line… it’s either hell yea or hell no. Anybody that tells you different is either nuts or is still wounded from  past relationship. We’re sentient beings. We’re an extremely social species. We need to be loved. We yearn for it. And anybody that doesn’t believe that is a liar.

So there are a few things you can do on Tinder. People’s pictures come up and so does their bio if they have one. one your phone you swipe right if you like them or swipe left if you are not interested. But… there is a little blue star icon at the bottom of the page and if you REALLY like someone, you can hit the star button and Super Like them. That’s what Valerie did to me.

So that’s a good thing. She has a good job, is attractive and age appropriate. We’ve been chatting a little bit on the site and have even exchanged cell numbers. So we set up a date to meet for a drink at the Liberte bar at Sofitel hotel. That date is tonight at 5:30. So I will write more tomorrow after the date takes place and we see how it goes.

The Date

It was humid out as it has been lately, so around 3:30 I took a taxi up to 16th and Chestnut Street. It took forever because of the traffic. I hopped out and walked over to 15th and Market. I stopped at a street cart and grabbed a hot dog because I was hungry. Not too hungry and I didn’t want to feel bloated.  Just a light snack to wear as drinking armor. I walked south on 15th street. I do have to say, if there is one street I hate to walk on 15th street between Market and Chestnut. It’s just an ugly space. I don’t really want to go into why at this point but if you are ever there you’ll get it. I turned right on Ranstead, which between 15th and 16th is nothing more than a filthy alley. As I walked along I saw the back of 1517 Chestnut street. It’s just a door with a doorbell. But I know it better as an Asian massage parlor that is simply a black door on Chestnut next to 5 Guys Burgers. So apparently you can come in one door and go out the other! (future blog) I stopped up to see my friend Kelly. ( Kelly will be featured in a future blog) She works on 16th at a beauty salon. I chatted with her a bit and then headed to Davio’s on 17th street. I wanted to get a base coat on just to take the edge off, so I ordered a martini. My favorite bartender there was on shift and he always makes me a great one. And the best part? It’s only $6.60. That is an incredible price for a martini in this city. Normally you’d pay twice that. My friend Carly who also works there, (future blog post) stopped to say hello. I told her I had to go soon because I had a date across the street at Sofitel at 5:30. She said if it didn’t go well I could count on her to extract me from the situation. So after two martinis I was more than ready to go. I really wanted to smoke a cigarette, but I thought it prudent not to because you never get a second chance to make a first impression. So I walked over to Sofitel. The bar was dead. I was glad because I wanted to be somewhere quiet so we could chat. I ordered a glass of their house chardonnay. Another nice thing they do at Sofitel is put some assorted snacks on the bar. A rare occurrence these days.

Valerie arrived at 5:30. Looked good. Looked better than her pics. Her blonde hair was longer than I remembered. She ordered a glass of red and we started chatting. We covered the usual stuff. It is easier when you both are from the same generation. There was laughter and some kisses exchanged. This is brand new so I am being careful what I write here. Normally I’ll go all guns blazing, but what if this really turns into something. We seemed to hit it off. What if after this I’m not fickle anymore? Wait… I’m getting ahead of myself here.  So after two martinis at Davio’s and three glasses of wine at Sofitel, I was a little tipsy. So things are a little fuzzy. At one point I asked her if she still “Super Liked” me. She smiled and said yes! So after a couple of hours we wrapped it up and said our goodbyes.

But… not before she got me email and locked down another date for next week! Yes. Her idea! We are going out again next Wednesday. She wants to go to the movies. Perfect! I love film. The date will be at 7:30 and she says she’ll send me info on what movie we’re going to see. So I’ll be covering that here too!

This has been an unexpected twist in the writing of this blog. I was only going to publish once a week but now I feel like when these events occur in real-time I should post them immediately as sort of a bonus to my readers. I’ll cover the usual tales each week but when something breaks that’s hot. I’ll drop it right away!

The game is afoot!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday at 9am EST.

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Maria – Chapter 2 – Amor en Vano – Part II

Another tale of one man’s journey through the dating scene in Philadelphia. Searching for true love.

In our last episode, our hero was meeting with Maria at a coffee shop to find out why she had been let go from her job. But does he have ulterior motives?

Maria stated that it was one incident on a Saturday night where she did one shot with a table of people. But she said some of the other servers said she was drinking all night long, and that simply wasn’t true. (I believe her) I was just happy that she was talking to me and meeting with me over coffee. I asked her what was she going to do now and she said she had already gotten another job at a nicer restaurant. I was surprised it happened so fast but in that industry there is always turnover, and they always need experienced help. (And because she’s smart and understands the hospitality industry) Maria lamented that she’d have to learn a new menu but other than that it was a decent gig. I had been to the new place when it opened and I thought it was a great spot in a good area. The food was good, so she’d probably do well there.

And that’s when I said the following. “Maria, I have something else I need to share with you.” She crossed her arms. I’m really good at reading people’s body language so I tried to put her at ease. I told her that I had real feelings for her. You have to be willing to take risks like this if you want the better rewards in life. But I will tell you, sometimes you roll the dice and your number doesn’t come up. Maybe on a later roll, but sometimes you leave the casino alone and broke.  She said she didn’t want to be misconstrued on how she was when she would serve us at the restaurant.

I understand if a server is sweet and a little flirty it helps garner bigger tips. It’s just human psychology. I told her she was just being friendly and that it was her personality that shone through. I told her all of those times we came into the restaurant all I wanted to see was her. The weekends I would spend at my office working on ad copy. I would text her and say “I’m burning so many calories banging my head against the wall trying to come up with an idea for this ad campaign it’s making me hungry. Should I come see you and have some delicious sliders?” That was the sort of thing I would do but it was all about wanting to see her.

She responded, “Do you think we’d be compatible?” And I said, “We went to the flower show, that was great and you don’t know if you’re compatible until you spend time with someone.” I simply told her how I felt about her. I think she was surprised, but at least I know it’s out there now and I’ve said it. I know she’s sporty and I’m more of the arts guy but who knows? Stranger things have happened. (Please continue reading this blog each week and you’ll know!) She was on her way to the new job when she met me, so I bid her farewell and told her I’d stay in touch. We hugged and she was gone. At least now she knew what I felt for her.

I told Maria that me and my colleague were going to boycott the old place for firing her by never going there again, but that clearly wasn’t happening. The food is delicious there and we still love the lunch hostess, Mary (See: Mary – Unexpected Table for Two) and a couple of the other servers there!

Tune in tomorrow for the conclusion!

 

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