Little Birds

September 2021

I came out of my house the other day to go to breakfast at my favorite local spot Racheal’s. I got to the corner of 19th and Pine and suddenly saw these two little parakeets on the pavement together.

I was shocked and stunned to see these two tiny exotic birds right there on the sidewalk. I wondered where they had come from. Did they somehow escape from a cage in someone’s house? Did they just fly out the window? They’re caged birds and could hardly fly.

I carefully approached them to observe and then another gentleman approached. We were both amazed and he called the local animal hospital over on 20th street. They said they don’t take birds, just mostly dogs and cats. But they gave us the number of a woman on Facebook who looks after birds in Philly.

I called her but of course, no one answered. Another guy showed up and we tried to get the birds to hop into a little box that someone else had brought us. But they wouldn’t be caught. They would hop away. They could fly a little bit but I knew they had probably spent their lives together in a cage and didn’t have the strength to fly any great distance. We would try to catch one and he would flutter away but remain close.

I called the bird lady again and left a long message regarding the situation and the location. But I figured that’s all I could do. The other guy that had shown up told me he had to get to work so I was left with these birds.

But I had to get going as well. So as much as I hated to leave them I had to go. We’d called the animal hospital, I tried the bird lady, and there was nothing else I could do.

But here’s the thing. No matter what we did, the birds stayed together. The one bird, I’m assuming the male because he had the prettier plumes, wouldn’t leave his mate’s side.

I thought about the dedication of these terrified little birds. Two living things. Two little beautiful birds that could fly. The only species are other than insects and bats that could truly fly. And what did humans do? They stuck them in a cage. A prison that they could never escape from. Never to fly and be free and use the gift of flight they were born with. Now here they were, ironically free, and they wouldn’t leave each other’s side. They were out in a strange world. The phrase, free as a bird comes to mind. But even in their newfound freedom, they wouldn’t separate. All they knew and all they had was each other. Like the inmate that’s spent his whole life in prison, they couldn’t make it on the outside. They didn’t even know what the outside world was like.

It was so sad and yet uplifting. No matter how cruel I thought it was to capture these lovely entities and steal them from their natural habitat, they stuck together. That spoke to me.

Why can’t people just leave the natural world alone? The planet operates perfectly well without humans. But here we are. We destroy our habitat all in the name of growth, expansion, and industrial progress. Everything we need is here and it’s all free, and we choose to capture it, kill it, or monetize it. It’s so sad. We’ve kind of blown it as a species. It’s too bad humans can’t walk among the rest of the living things on this planet and try to live in harmony. Instead of killing it, conquering it, or destroying it. Humans aren’t so great after all.

I later came by the area where I initially found the birds. They were gone. So was the box. I’m hoping they were rescued by someone and the cute little couple are okay. Even if they ended up back in a cage somewhere. At least they’d be able to live out what remained of their little lives together.

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. 

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

5 Reasons Physical Attraction Alone Isn’t The Most Important Thing In Your Relationship

Looks fade, but the emotional connection is everlasting.

Looks may be what initially attracts you to your significant other, but physical attraction alone is not enough to sustain a relationship. Connections made based on personality are, in fact, what keeps relationships alive.

To get into a relationship based just on looks isn’t wise. Physical attractiveness only allows you to see who the person is on the outside, not where it matters most.

That’s why looks alone are not the best indicator of long-term success in relationships.

Whenever we think of a couple’s likelihood to last, we think of how well they get along and their chemistry. Their collective attractiveness is what we tend to look at first, but not the main reason we think they’ll last.

There’s nothing great about having an attractive boyfriend if you don’t connect on an emotional level. You need to be able to feel comfortable enough to be your authentic self with your partner, and that means being able to laugh, cry, and eat chicken wings around them without worry.

Thankfully, long-lasting relationships aren’t solely built on looks because we don’t control our looks. Our genetics do, so how we look is completely out of our hands. Also, what we find attractive is sometimes subconscious.

Having binge-watching the reality series, Love Is Blind, on Netflix, it got me wondering whether this show was on to something. Is love truly blind? Can you really fall in love with someone based solely on the conversations you’ve shared with one another?

The answer to both questions is yes, but you do have to be attracted to your partner on a physical degree.

Although small, physical attraction does play a role in the success of the relationship, it’s still not the most important aspect.

Everyone should find their partner attractive enough to be able to enjoy the physical aspects of a relationship. When we get in relationships, we all want our needs to be met, so not finding your partner physically attractive could easily end the relationship, like not having an emotional connection.

When you’re choosing your next partner, be sure to keep in mind that physical attraction isn’t the only thing you need for a happy and healthy relationship.

1. Just because he’s physically attractive, it doesn’t mean he’ll have character.

Him being attractive doesn’t tell you anything about how he’ll treat you. You can think of quite a few boys who were extremely hot and complete f***boys and jerks. Just because he’s hot, that doesn’t mean he’ll treat you in the manner you deserve to be treated.

After the novelty effect of your partner’s looks wears off, you’ll be left with who he really is. That’s when the importance of personality and character will really hit you.

2. And it doesn’t mean he’ll be smart.

There’s nothing wrong with being a pretty boy. But in this day and age of girl bosses, intelligence is more important than ever.

Women want men who can have deep conversations ranging from business topics all the way to personal tragedies. And men who don’t have the intellectual capability of holding a conversation isn’t exactly your cup of tea.

3. His appearance doesn’t mean he’ll be loyal.

Not all men are cheaters. Some men are very upfront and transparent in that regard.

But it’s undeniable that the more attractive a man is, the more women will be interested in him. When you have more options to choose from, it makes it easier to cheat.
4. Physical attractiveness doesn’t equate to financial stability.

Financial stability is really important in relationships, especially if you’re at the stage of moving in together. But being attractive doesn’t mean he’s knowledgeable about budgeting.

Unfortunately, being attractive doesn’t pay the bills… unless he’s a male model or influencer, of course.

5. All that attention based on his looks might make him self-centered.

Being attractive can really cause some people to become cocky and feel entitled. No one wants to date a guy who’s self-centered because he thinks the whole world revolves around him!

Within a relationship, it’ll become very evident that he views himself as superior to his significant other.

The Absolute Dater – Making Online Dating Easy Again

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

If You Have These 10 Traits, You’re Girlfriend Material

Do you have what it takes?

What makes the perfect girlfriend? Is she the girl next door with gorgeous good looks and double-Ds? Well, not exactly.

Contrary to what you might think, most guys aren’t looking for a supermodel. They’re just looking for their perfect match: a woman who’s down-to-earth, sweet, and sensitive to his needs.

Here are 10 attractive traits that every man keeps in mind when deciding if the woman (ie. you) sitting across the dinner table from him at that first date is girlfriend material.

1. You’re confident.

Take it from the guys, nothing is sexier than a woman who’s comfortable in her own skin. If you’re guilty of meekly asking lines like: “Does this skirt make my thighs look fat?” … stop asking. If you’re constantly needing his reassurance that you’re beautiful, he may start asking questions himself.

2. You’re smart.

Acting like a bimbo loses its novelty to men after high school. What men want in a girlfriend is a woman who can stand as their equal. So be the smart, savvy woman you are! To him, it’s a total turn-on.

3. You’re not into material things.

Yes, he wants to be your knight in shining armor. And yes, he wants to treat you like the princess you are … but that doesn’t give you license to act like one.

Allow him the luxury of treating you with romantic dinners and surprise baubles without having to demand them of him. He’ll be relieved that he doesn’t have to try so hard and surprisingly, this will inspire him to rise to the occasion when he doesn’t have to dedicate his whole paycheck to lavish tokens of his love for you.

4. And you appreciate doing things spur of the moment.

One of the first things to go in a relationship is spontaneity. You get stuck in your Friday night dinner dates and you lose that spark you had when you first started dating each other. Don’t lose it! Men love a woman who can do things spur-of-the-moment (like grabbing him by the shirt collar and pulling him into the bedroom before he goes to work for some morning fun?).

5. Relaxing is perfectly OK too.

What’s one of the best things you can do for your relationship with him? Relax. Just relax.

When you come home from a long, hard day at work and see those dishes piling up in the sink, we know you have the urge to lash out at him. Instead, try to let it go for the night. No man likes a nag and every man likes a woman who can let her hair down and doesn’t sweat the small stuff.

We’re not saying to just kick back and bro out with him, but a relationship is solid when you’re able to relax with each other.

6. You’re not too serious.

Guys like a girl who laughs at their jokes but isn’t mindless and isn’t always serious about everything.

Just as we mentioned that men like a woman who can forgo nagging him about the dishes, they like a woman who can joke about the dishes too. Biting remarks and snappy comebacks are just the witty repartee to keep the spark between you in your relationship. And hey, isn’t laughter the best aphrodisiac?

7. And you know how to be sensuous.

We’ve already mentioned before that it’s not all about your looks (albeit, that’s a good motivator for some men) — it’s more about an air of sexiness and confidence that will draw his eyes to you when you enter the room. Embrace your femininity. Ditch the sweatpants for date night and take the extra ten minutes to pull the LBD from the back of your closet.

You shouldn’t feel pressured to strut around the bedroom in lingerie and high heels like a Victoria’s Secret angel every night, but you should feel comfortable in your own sexuality… and expressing that sensually to your man.

8. The truth is important to you.

If he can’t trust you — how can he ever see you as his girlfriend … and eventual spouse? Keep things open and honest in your relationship. A little white lie over flirty texts with an old guy friend from college can spiral out of control very quickly into a full-blown fight … and breakup.

9. And you’re not needy.

Dating a driven, passionate woman? So hot. Babysitting a stage five clinger? Not so much. No man wants a girlfriend they have to reassuringly text, call or visit every five minutes. Give him his poker night with the boys. Let him go golfing on a weekend. Learn to give your guy his space — or he may break up with you to get it.

10. You’ve got his back.

As cliché, as it is, some men want to be caretakers … but even the strongest of men want a soft place to fall. He wants to know that you’ll support him and stand by him in his life choices, whether it’s changing careers or moving to a new city. Show your support in small gestures with a quick “I love you” text when he heads off for his morning commute and listens to him after a hard day’s work.

Be supportive — but not suffocating. The last thing you want is to remind him too much of his mother.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

You can check out my books here: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=charles+wiedenmann&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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