10 Reasons Not To Delete An Ex’s Number

Your relationship (or whatever it was) was sweet … until it wasn’t. It ended with a not-so-clean break, and the aftereffects have lasted longer than the relationship itself. You run into him when you’re out and you immediately fall back into his trap. Texting ensues and soon you’re in another downward spiral that leaves you feeling more bitter than you did in the first place. As your friends will tell you, the solution is clear: delete his number. However, it might not be that simple. Here are 10 reasons not to delete his number from your contact list.

10 Reasons Not To Delete An Ex’s Number

  1. He might actually call. You don’t recognize the number, and you answer with an innocent “hello?” It’s him, now you’re stuck on the phone making awkward small talk. The call could have simply been avoided with the “Do Not Answer” button.
  2. Emergencies happen. If he was once someone you could count on, chances are he still might be.
  3. He texts you. Old habits die hard, and it’s obvious when you’re lying in a text message. “Sorry, who is this? I got a new phone” doesn’t always make the cut. Knowing he’s texting you gives you the freedom not to respond.
  4. Why can’t you be friends? Someday (far into the future), after your battle wounds have healed, you might want to keep in touch with this person. After all, you did have some good times together. It would be a shame to lose a potential friend over fights that happened years ago.
  5. He could help your career. Remember when he told you about his cousin’s lucrative marketing firm in Chicago? Well, now you’re moving to Chicago, and you need a job. If you have his number and you’re on good terms, he might help you network or make a business contact.
  6. He’s entertaining and smart as a whip. You’re the next contestant on “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” or in the back of the “Cash Cab,” and you need a lifeline. Your ex could make you money!
  7. It’s childish. We’re all mature adults now, right? There are better ways to move on from an old flame, starting with completely forgetting he’s in your address book instead of dwelling on it.
  8. To prevent contact. Yes, deleting his name helps you get him out of sight and out of mind, but a glaring “Don’t Do It!” in place of his name is an effective reminder of the bad times, too.
  9. For your little black book. You might be done with him, but one person’s trash may be another person’s treasure. He didn’t click with you, but could he work with a friend in the future? Delete his number and you’ll never know.
  10. Rekindle an old flame. Maybe, after all the heartbreak, there is still relationship potential. Deleting his number out of spite could hurt you later on.

 

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10 Types Of Relationships That Have No Chance Of Lasting

These are basically doomed from the start.

Is it ever possible to start a relationship in which partners will be able to live happily until old age?

It’s difficult to predict the future.

But, the chances of success are higher if lovers want to be together, invest emotionally, and recognize the signs of serious issues in time.

Hence, not all relationships with issues are doomed.

So, are you ready to find out what increases the risk of a breakup and how to deal with stress in the case of failure?

And what couples are doomed to break up?

1. Those who don’t discuss financial matters

Romance alone will not get you far.

If the partners aren’t aware of each other’s financial requests at the very beginning, it will play a cruel joke on them in the future.

Therefore, it is necessary to negotiate beforehand on how to manage the family budget.

Who will be the main breadwinner? What are your career ambitions? Are you both ready to sacrifice your comfort if a crisis comes?

Otherwise, there’s a risk of unpleasant surprises.

2. Those who fall in love with their illusions

It is foolish to choose a partner relying solely on who they might become in the future.

In the end, these are your guesses and dreams and you will have to live with who they really are.

If you don’t like someone’s character, bad habits, and social circle, you will not be able to change them.

Hence, you will have to be able to accept them with all their shortcomings.

However, if you are not ready, then do not be fooled. A breakup is inevitable.

3. Those who like to even the score

For example, a woman had refused to have sex, then a man did not buy her a gift.

She could not come on holidays with him, then he went on vacation alone. There are couples like this.

No one is willing to give up their wishes, so the partners play a game called “you give me something, and then I will give you something in return”.

And the rates will rise until someone gets crazy and leaves the game.

True love does not tolerate competition — you either mutually invest or you drown each other.

4. A star and an admirer

In such a relationship, one partner is selfish and requires unquestioning veneration and adoration.

First, another partner indulges them and takes care of them, almost wears on their hand until the demands of the “star” increase many times and the person does not receive anything in return.

One day, the admirer gives up and stops being a donor, because they are also alive and need love.

There needs to be a balance of energy and support if you don’t want your relationship to be doomed.

5. A thinker and a dummy

Even if the partners have been brought together by true love, sooner or later the difference in intellectual levels will manifest.

People who are at different evolutionary stages cannot be together.

If one seeks to improve oneself and develop their knowledge, while another one doesn’t need anything from life, the relationship will fail.

Sooner or later, one of them will tire of carrying dead weight and the second one will not be able to rise above their station.

6. Partners with conflicting interests

Relationships aren’t only about love.

People need to have similar interests and goals for the relationship to flourish.

If a woman wants to have children, but a man doesn’t.

If one of them wants to devote themselves to saving the world, while another one cares for nothing but themselves, then such a relationship will not work out, no matter how the two are deceiving themselves.

Lifestyles and ideals must coincide; otherwise, they will kill each other.

7. People with a big age difference

At first, in such a relationship, everything goes perfectly.

For example, the heart of a young lady loves the reliability and sustainability of a mature partner.

However, they will hardly be together to old age, since their interests and needs differ too much.

At some point, the young partner may want to have kids, devote themselves to self-realization, and feel passion, while the second one, being in their 50s, quickly loses interest in everything and tires himself of the frenetic pace.

Then, their future can be doomed.

8. Two leaders

This type of relationship is about strength, purposefulness, and a strong-willed character.

They are similar and this cannot inspire.

However, a relationship is the union of a leader and a follower or when both partners are easy-going and willing to share obligations.

Leaders are not capable of giving in, because they want to be first and foremost in everything.

And if there are two bosses, there can be a struggle for power, which, in turn, can result in a breakup.

9. An emotionally unstable couple

When one of the partners plays the role of a caring parent, sooner or later they will become exhausted – especially if they get nothing in return.

A person gets tired of being forgiving and all-loving when their efforts are sabotaged and criticized; they also have the right to love!

Therefore, they leave and go where they will be valued, taken care of, and where they will always be welcomed.

10. Those who are united only by physical proximity

If the partners have nothing in common except physical proximity, then their relationship is doomed to fail.

In any relationship, you also need to talk, do household chores, and be there for each other in times of grief and joy.

And what if there are health problems, financial problems, or personal crisis?

You cannot build a strong and healthy relationship if it’s only based on sex.

However, you can find an exception to each of these cases.

A breakup is the last resort and most couples aren’t doomed to end up like that.

Many problems between partners can and should be worked on and solved.

But, only if both partners want it.

However, if the breakup is inevitable, it’s necessary to do your best to get over it with minimum losses.

What are some of the most common signs that a relationship will fail? Let us know in the comments below!

 

 

The 3 main reasons couples break up, according to science

f you’ve ever been unsure about whether to leave a relationship, or have witnessed a friend spend years in an unhappy partnership without making that final break, then you’ll know deciding to split can be a long and drawn-out process.

Now, a team of scientists from the University of Utah has sought to pinpoint the factors that determine whether we stay or go, Stylist reports.

And, based on the results, it looks like the main reasons for leaving are the same, whether you are married or not…

‘Most of the research on breakups has been predictive, trying to predict whether a couple stays together or not, but we don’t know much about the decision process — what are the specific relationship pros and cons that people are weighing out,’ explained lead researcher Samantha Joel in the journal Social Psychology and Personality Science.

To discover the key factors involved in deciding to break up or stay together, the team asked anonymous volunteers open-ended questions about relationships, from which they identified 23 reasons why we end things and 27 factors that make us stay.

The top three things that make us leave? Issues with a partner’s personality, a breach of trust and a partner’s withdrawal.

Photo credit: Giphy

However, when it came to deciding whether to remain in a relationship, things differed between those who were married and those who weren’t.

Couples who were dating (for an average of two years) listed more positive reasons for staying with their partner, including emotional intimacy and their other half’s personality.

Those who were married, meanwhile, were, err, a little more practical…

The key reasons to stay committed were a sense of investment, family responsibilities and a fear of uncertainty. Hmm, who said romance was dead?

The team concluded that getting out of a relationship is much harder than getting into one in the first place.

‘Breaking up can be a really difficult decision,’ said Joel. ‘You can look at a relationship from outside and say “you have some really unsolvable problems, you should break up”, but from the inside that is a really difficult thing to do and the longer you’ve been in a relationship, the harder it seems to be.’

She added: ‘Humans fall in love for a reason. From an evolutionary perspective, for our ancestors finding a partner may have been more important than finding the right partner. It might be easier to get into relationships than to get back out of them.’

 

 

You’ll Never Move On From Your Breakup If You Keep Making These 5 Mistakes

Breaking up is hard to do.

We all want to know how to get over a breakup, heal our broken heart, and move on with our lives.

However, there are so many mistakes that people make after a breakup that keeps them from healing and moving on from the heartbreak.

Getting over it ending is not the easiest thing to do. The pain and change that happens quickly after a heartbreaking breakup often throws people off balance so they end up doing things they might not otherwise do.

And those mistakes can cause huge problems both with your ex and your self-esteem.

Trying not to make them will allow the healing to start sooner so that you can get on with your life and be happy.

So, if you want to get over a breakup and heal your broken heart, here are 5 mistakes you need to avoid.

1. Seeking closure

One of the biggest mistakes that people make while getting over a breakup is that they seek “closure”.

While “closure” can be explained away as a final chance to talk about what happened and leave on good terms, closure is just one more chance to spend time with your soon-to-be-ex and, perhaps, talk them into being with you again.

Spending even one more moment dwelling on what happened and begging your person to take you back will backfire. If your person has broken up with you and you convince him to take you back, chances are it will all happen all over again, sooner or later.

Furthermore, prostrating yourself at the feet of your ex and begging him to give you one more chance will only damage your self-esteem.

If someone breaks up with you, seeking closure is only going to drag out the inevitable. So, rant and cry for a bit but then hold your head high and don’t let him know that you are hurting.

2. Extensive snooping

One of the biggest issues with social media is that it wreaks havoc and it’s not helpful when you’re trying to figure out how to get over an ex and move on.

In the old days, when a couple parted ways (unless the circumstances were unusual), they rarely or never saw each other again. They didn’t know the intimate details of each other’s life as they went on with their own.

Now, unfortunately, everything is different. When couples break up these days, part of the breakup means blocking or unfollowing each other on social media. And, unfortunately, this often doesn’t happen fast enough.

I have a client who left her boyfriend because he was a mess. They agreed to “remain friends” and kept up their social media accounts. My client still loved her boyfriend, even though she left him and she found herself drawn to his social media accounts regularly.

This wasn’t an issue in the beginning but once he got a new girlfriend, it became a real problem. She would waste hours stalking him and his new girlfriend on social media, extremely jealous that he seemed to be doing so much better with someone else.

Thinking that some other girl had a better version of him made her crazy and her self-esteem was in the gutter.

And then I reminded her that people only post their best things on social media. They don’t post the fights or the posturing or the doubts. What she was seeing was a curated version of her ex’s relationship. Understanding this allowed her to end her social media connection with him and begin to truly move on.

3. Moving on too quickly

Another huge mistake that people make after a breakup is that they move on too fast.

Yes, your heart is broken and you desperately want to pull the pieces back together again and you think that the best way to do that is to find someone else.

Don’t get me wrong, I definitely believe that people should get back on the horse quickly after a relationship fail. But, it’s also important to take some time and reflect on what happened.

Jumping into a new relationship before you’ve done so doesn’t automatically mean that you’re getting over someone — it means that you might repeat the same mistakes again.

So, take some time and be alone. It’s important to cry and feel your feelings and process with your girlfriends. Gain some understanding of what happened and make sure that history doesn’t repeat itself.

4. Staying in contact

Have you and your ex agreed to “be friends”? Do you want to set an example for other people that people can break up and remain friends? Good for you but, I’m afraid, it’s mostly impossible to do so.

When people are romantically involved and break up, especially if it’s one-sided, being friends just isn’t possible.

The person who is broken up with will use that friendship as an excuse to stay connected with their person and hope for a reunion. The breaker up could get frustrated with their ex’s clinginess and connection and might push them away or even ghost them.

If you would honestly like to be friends with your ex someday, as I am with many of mine, take some time, first, to get past the end of the relationship and get out into the world.

Staying in contact them now will only serve to slow down your healing.

5. Holding on to what could be

Two things that I hear over and over and over again after a breakup is that they wish that things could be back to the way they were at the beginning — they wish their person could be the person they know they can be.

But, wishing for these things will only drive you bonkers.

The beginning of a relationship is a magical time. Hours are spent sharing your deepest thoughts, your heart races whenever you see them and the chemistry is crazy.

Unfortunately, maintaining the chemically induced excitement of the early part of a relationship is simply impossible.

Even people in long-term, happy relationships no longer have those crazy feelings about each other. Their chemical draw has settled and they move into a more comfortable, loving relationship.

Furthermore, many people hold onto their exes because they focus on what their partner could be.

My client who had to break up with her beau because he was a mess saw the long-term potential in him, especially if she just loved him enough. Unfortunately, holding on to someone because of what they could be will only be an exercise in futility. You can’t save or change someone and trying to will only hurt you more.

So, if you are longing for the early days to return or know your person can change, know that neither will happen and take steps to move on.

People make many mistakes after a breakup so know that you aren’t alone.

Breakups are painful and the need for the pain to go away makes people do things that are not self-serving.

So, if you want to know how to get over someone and heal your broken heart, make every effort to resist seeking closure and extensive snooping, don’t stay in contact or move on too quickly.

And, most importantly, understand that things will never go back to the way there were and you can’t make your person into the person you think they can be.

I know that you want to find love — we all do! If you can avoid making these common mistakes, then you will be able to move on quickly and find the love that you have always been seeking.

You can do it!

 

 

Here’s How To Feel More Comfortable Dating After A Breakup

Re-entering the dating pool after a breakup can elicit emotional responses ranging from excitement to anxiety-producing dread. The truth is that warming up to single life after a relationship is a process, and figuring out how to feel more comfortable dating after a breakup is an important first step. If the idea of dipping into the dating pool is giving you pause, it’s important to know that what you’re experiencing is totally normal.

“The dating discomfort experienced after a breakup is multifaceted,” Susan Winter, NYC-based relationship expert, tells Elite Daily. “Part of you is comparing the new person to your ex, and part of you is wondering how to frame the breakup when asked. Another part may feel tentative about [being vulnerable again].” Part of figuring out what’s holding you back from enjoying singledom is making sure you’re actually ready to start dating again. Although it can be tempting to rush into a new fling after saying goodbye to your ex, taking time to process a breakup is key. “Make sure you’re ready to move forward,” suggests Winter. “If you haven’t emotionally processed and packaged your past relationship, don’t even think about starting a new one.”

If you’re wondering whether or not enough time has passed since your last relationship ended, Winter recommends listening to your gut. There may be a totally valid reason why dating again doesn’t feel right, and you owe it to yourself to figure it out. “You’ll know you’re ready to date again when the thought of meeting someone new excites you,” says Winter. “You’ll be able to imagine a positive outcome and find yourself hopeful about the prospect of meeting new people.” On the other hand, if you can’t imagine yourself enjoying the process of meeting other matches, then you may need a bit more time to work through what happened between you and your ex.

Labelling your emotions can help you feel in control so you can deal with them in a healthy way.
Shutterstock

Once you feel good about the prospect of getting your mingle on, planing out how you want to talk about your past relationship with dates can help you manage any lingering discomfort. “Prepare to be asked about what happened,” says Winter. “Obviously your new date will want to know how and why your relationship ended as a part of their own knowledge base, and that’s only fair.” There’s no need to go into too much detail before you’re ready, but being prepared in case the topic comes up can help. Even if the breakup was messy, making it clear that you’re over it is major. “Clearly, concisely, and diplomatically provide a two-sentence answer that’s gracious and positive, even if the breakup was bad and your partner was horrible.”

Lastly, letting yourself believe in love again is a great way to stay positive while transitioning back into dating. It’s so easy to feel jaded after a bad breakup, but succumbing to negative thought patterns can have a huge impact on your future relationships. No matter what went down between you and your ex, treating those experiences as learning opportunities can make a huge difference. Just because a relationship didn’t work out, doesn’t mean you won’t find love again in the future.

“You created a relationship before, so you can also create one now,” says Winter. “Just because it didn’t last doesn’t mean you didn’t do a good job. You should have confidence that you can believe in yourself again.” If your confidence took a major hit during your last relationship and you’re still reeling, take as much time as you need to recover. Feeling secure in who you are can help you attract someone who’s on the same page.

Dating after a breakup might feel strange for a bit, and that’s OK. The best thing you can do for yourself is make sure you’re ready to be vulnerable again. Any residual discomfort you feel about dating will pass with time. Remember: These big emotional shifts may not happen overnight. So, while you’re adjusting to single life, staying positive and honoring your feelings can help you move forward.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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When She’s Through With You, There’s Little You Can Do

Let’s face it, man, you screwed it up! She loved you with everything she’s got: deeply, truly and without expecting much in return.

Now you know that she wasn’t like the other girls you’d met before. For one thing, she put up with a lot of your bullshit before she finally slammed the door.

Now you want her back. And you expect that in this article I am going to tell you how to get her back. Unfortunately, I can’t. Instead, I’ll try to tell you how to pull your shit together and move on, and make sure you never forget the lesson she gave you!

Classy gals are hard to find

At this point, you probably know that it’s damn hard to meet a really classy chic and get her interested in you. Well, the most important thing to remember is that when you meet her, you’ve got to appreciate, respect and keep her by your side.

The first time you saw something in your relationship was not going well, you shouldn’t have ignored those warning signs. You should have talked to her and you should have listened to what she had to say.

Now it’s too late about all these could-haves and should-haves. All that matters now is that she’s gone and she isn’t coming back to you! I know it hurts, I know you are sorry. And yet, you shouldn’t have it happen. When a relationship reaches the point of no return, the best thing you can do is let her go!

She wasn’t the fool you thought she was…

Looking back, now you probably remember how many compromises she made in the name of your relationship. How many times she forgave you your irresponsibility, your recklessness and your poor treatment of her.

No wonder that at some point you started taking her for granted. You underestimated her ability to see through your shit and that, man, was your biggest mistake! Because even if that girl was in love with you, she wasn’t stupid.

Remember all those times you thought you had outsmarted her? Well, it’s just she let you do that. She let you take advantage of her because she was truly and wholeheartedly in love with you. So, it was actually you who’d been making a fool of himself, not her!

She gave you enough second chances

Stop whining like a bitch that you’d give her the moon and the stars if only she could give you one more chance! If you look back at your relationship, you’ll see she gave you enough second chances. In fact, they were more than enough, if you ask me.

The problem is that when you had them, you screwed them all! You failed to notice how she was slowly but steadily distancing herself from you. Yes, you read it right. Your breakup did not happen overnight. It was a process that you could have reversed. The only problem was that you did not even notice it was going on.

And because you crossed all boundaries, she finally built a wall. Her heart may now be breaking into pieces; her body may be aching for you, but she won’t give in to her desire to forgive you. This does not mean she is cruel. She’s just painfully aware of all chances she gave you.

It’s time to pull yourself together and move on

What’s done is done. She’s gone for good and it’s time to move on. If you ignore my advice and keep chasing her you’ll become a clingy wuss-bag or, worse still, a downright stalker! The more you chase her, the more obsessed you’ll be getting with her.

As I see it, things can easily get out of control at some point. In the worst possible case, instead of having her back, you’d probably get a big, black cellmate named Booker! So, do not look back in anger.

According to psychiatrist and writer Jean Kim, M. D., one of the worst post-breakup developments is an on-again, off-again relationship, which invariably leads to a lot of pain in the neck for both partners.

Take my word and move on. If you channel all that negative energy that has built up inside you onto a positive cause, the results will be astounding. If you are a student, focus on your studies. If you are not, why don’t you go to college and earn a degree in something?

All these self-accusations and reproaches are smothering you, man! You’ve got to let out the steam in some way before you’ve gone nuts! Sign up for a gym membership near you and start building some muscle. This strategy works in more than two ways.

First, your workouts will gradually take your mind off her. Then, you’ll surely meet a whole bunch of new guys and girls in the gym and you can make some amazing friendships for life. Last but not least, the stronger and the bigger you get, the bigger your self-confidence will become.

And when the next great girl comes…

Well, it’s enough not to repeat the mistake you made with your ex. Remember that only a fool trips over the same stone twice!

When life gives you the second chance you’ve always wanted, make sure you do not take your new girlfriend for granted. Instead, show her your devotion and always keep her dignity on a pedestal.

If she gives you kindness, openness, and true love, make sure to reciprocate with the same. Do not make the eyes that make you so happy cry incessantly. Cherish the love that you’ve got and you’ll have it forever!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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How to Get Over Someone, According to a Relationship Expert

Ending a relationship is never easy – and it can be even harder if there is still love shared.

But just because heartbreak may feel like the end of the world, the good news is the pain won’t last forever – and it certainly won’t keep you from falling in love again.

According to research published in The Journal of Positive Psychology, it takes 11 weeks to feel better after a relationship ends. But a separate study found it takes closer to 18 months to heal from the end of a marriage.

In reality, heartbreak is a grieving process – and it looks completely different for everyone.

Because love is a messy emotion, and each relationship comes with its own memories and feelings, the end of any relationship will be a unique experience.

And there is no set time limit for healing – as factors including the length of the relationship, shared experiences and memories, whether you had children, betrayal, and the depth of emotion all play a part in the healing process.

The break-up can also be worse or more painful if you didn’t want the relationship to end.

Fortunately, although it may not seem like it in the moment, millions of other people are experiencing similar emotions – and millions more have.

Human beings are meant to form relationships and fall in love. And just as most people will experience love at least once in their lifetime, many will also experience the sting of heartbreak. It is natural, and expected, to be upset and devastated at the end of a relationship – even when the relationship might not have been a positive thing. After all, love is blind and it has the ability to make people overlook their partner’s flaws. This is truest at the end of a relationship, when bad memories are often overshadowed by good ones that make us question why we broke up in the first place.

But, just like any other wound, heartbreak heals with time, self-care, and a positive outlook – and it is possible to move on.

And while no two relationships are alike, there are certain things that everyone suffering from heartbreak can do to move on.

According to relationship expert Ammanda Major, there are four steps that will help you get over someone.

Take time to grieve your loss

For some, losing a significant other because of a break-up can feel as painful as if they died. From seeing or talking to the one you love every day to having no contact, it can seem impossibly daunting to imagine your life without them. But it is important to come to terms with this new reality and accept it before you can move on. While it may seem appealing to fast-forward through this period of sadness by keeping busy with other things and people, the reality is the end of a relationship requires a grieving period where we process what has happened. This is a period of time where those suffering from a heartbreak can reflect on the relationship and their own behavior. Rather than trying to suppress these feelings, allowing yourself to feel them is integral to the healing process.

And while you are reflecting on the relationship and your emotions related to the break-up, you may learn a thing or two about yourself and what you want out of a future relationship.

Reconnect with yourself

In many relationships, the primary focus is on “we” instead of “me” or “I.” But the end of a relationship offers a unique opportunity – to take stock of where you are in life, and then to do something for you. Although it may sound cliché, the end of a relationship offers you the chance to reconnect with you. This may mean taking up a new hobby or reuniting with friends. Taking the time to do things that make you feel good, like seeing family, finding a new talent, or going on holiday will all help boost your mood post-break-up. This focus on yourself also means you can enter your next relationship with a self-awareness you may have lost. Rather than rushing into a new relationship, take time to focus on your relationship with you.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help

Rarely do people come to the decision to end a relationship at the same time. When this is the case, one side is usually surprised or shocked – which will only extend the grieving process. In addition to these feelings of shock, feelings of rejection can also be apparent when a partner ends a relationship seemingly out of the blue.

If the end of your relationship came as a shock, it is normal to feel rejected or question your self-worth. But if your partner has made it clear that they no longer want a relationship with you, and that there is no chance of reconciliation – accept what they are saying and focus on yourself.

Just because a partner has ended a relationship does not mean you are unlovable or unworthy of their love. Rather than focusing on what you did wrong, focus instead on what you can do to make yourself feel better in the moment.

If you think that blocking your ex on social media will help you feel less sad, then it is the right thing to do – as limiting exposure can often help us keep our mind off of the pain.

Talking also helps – but just make sure to set limits with your friends and family about what you feel comfortable discussing. While you may be ready to talk about your ex, you may not feel entirely comfortable hearing them talk badly about your ex or your relationship. However, talking through your emotions can be beneficial and often an outside perspective can be helpful. The same is true when and if you decide to get rid of the physical reminders of your relationship. While keeping pictures and other memorabilia is perfectly okay, it is also okay to throw this stuff away if it only causes you pain.

And if you have things that you need to return to your ex, having a friend or family member deliver them for you can ease some of the pressure and sadness associated with seeing them again.

During a break-up, and in the time that follows, relying on your support system is necessary for healing.

Time does actually heal all

You may not realize it in the moment, but as time goes on, the feelings of hurt and betrayal will lessen. Reminders of your relationship won’t be as painful and one day, whether it is months or a year from now, thinking of that person won’t cause the same feelings of sadness and hurt to bubble up.

Although time is relative to each relationship, moving past these negative feelings in the time we feel we need is integral. If this means ignoring the typical timelines for dealing with heartbreak, that is okay.

However, if our negative feelings aren’t healing in time, it may be beneficial to seek professional help in coming to terms with these emotions. As thinking negative or painful thoughts can be damaging to us and to future relationships, getting back into a positive mindset is crucial.

The first year will be the hardest – and understanding this is important. You will have moments of sadness and nostalgia, but as long as you remind yourself that the end of the relationship wasn’t entirely your fault, they should pass.

Do not accept complete blame for the break-up – but at the same time, try to reflect on what you could have done differently. Relationships involve two people, and a break-up is never the fault of one person entirely.

But if you are still having trouble moving on or feel that your emotions relating to the break-up are affecting your ability to enjoy life, talking to someone can help.

If you are to successfully move on with your life after a heartbreak, letting go of the negative and focusing only on the positive and the future is key.

This way, when you do find love again, you will be entering the relationship as the best version of yourself.

Being able to love deeply is an incredible ability – and it is one that will benefit you as you move forward with your life following a heartbreak.

 

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