How Using Marijuana Could Benefit Your Relationship

So much for the lazy, snacking stoner stereotype.

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New research reveals that cannabis use between couples increases might benefit their relationship, in the bedroom and beyond.

“We found robust support for these positive effects within two hours of when couples use marijuana together or in the presence of their partner,” says Maria Testa, a social psychologist at the University of Buffalo and the study’s lead author. “The findings were the same for both the male and female partners.”

What they call “intimacy events” include demonstrations of love, caring and support.

For the study, Testa and her colleagues found 183 married or cohabitating heterosexual couples that had been living together more than six months, with at least one partner who uses cannabis a minimum of twice a week. Participants were between 18 and 30-years-old, and had no history of mental illness or addiction.

During a month-long period, each partner independently reported instances of cannabis use and intimacy events in real time via their smartphones. Researchers limited events attributable to the drugs to a two hour window after the fact, according to previous studies showing that cannabis’ effects diminish after about two or three hours.

A separate paper by Testa using the same sample group also showed a slight increase in conflict following cannabis use, but those effects were marginal compared to the positive events. She hopes results of both reports will help inform medical practitioners with patients who use the drug habitually.

“If you’re a treatment provider it’s going to be difficult to get people to reduce or stop their use entirely because these couples see marijuana as something positive in their relationship,” says Testa. “To ignore that is to make it more difficult for people to change their behavior.”

Testa has extensively studied how alcohol effects romantic relationships, and later expanded her research into cannabis, which has not yet been investigated through this lens. The current study is funded by the National Institute on Drug Abuse, and appears in the journal Cannabis.

“I’ve studied alcohol as a predictor of intimate partner aggression for years,” she says. “Because alcohol is related to aggression in general, it’s not surprising to find that aggressive effect in the domain of relationships.”

She thinks there are too many presumptions made about how pot affects relationships.

“We need to know about the effects of marijuana use, instead of merely assuming what those effects may be,” says Testa, also adding, “There is very little research on the immediate consequences of marijuana use and intimacy, so this study fills an important gap in the literature.”

“On a personal note, I have found that when I am under the influence of marijuana I experience more intense orgasmic sensations… not in my genitals but in my mind. The sudden explosion of positive chemicals in my brain can only be described as… absolutely incredible.

Try it!

 

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Tales of Rock – Alice Cooper Reveals How Jesus Saved His Life

Alice Cooper is a complicated individual. A world-famous musician, certainly, known for his shocking performances and focus on rock and metal.

But that’s not how he started out. And as he prepares for his role as King Harod on NBC’s live version of “Jesus Christ Superstar,” he’s telling more of his backstory.

When he started seriously focusing on music in the late 60s, Cooper quickly fell to the pull of alcohol. Not unusual for celebrities and musicians, but dangerous no matter what your career.

“Everything that could go wrong was shutting down inside of me,” Cooper told Confidential. “I was drinking with Jim Morrison and Jimi Hendrix and trying to keep up with Keith Moon and they all died at 27.”

Alice Cooper Reveals How Jesus Saved His Life on Night He Was Throwing up Blood 40 Years Ago

Almost 40 years ago — 37 to be exact — the performer had a major turning point. A come-to-Jesus moment, if you will.

After years of heavy drinking and trashing his body, Cooper woke himself up by vomiting blood. While that would be concerning for anyone, Cooper knew why it was happening.

Cooper also knew what it meant he would have to do. After being authoritatively denounced as an alcoholic, he stopped drinking.

Stopping on its own is challenging, especially if you’re a habitual drinker, but Cooper said he also never had the desire to drink again.

Why? He said it was because of God.

“My wife and I are both Christian. My father was a pastor, my grandfather was an evangelist. I grew up in the church, went as far away as I could from it — almost died — and then came back to the church.”

That trend could describe many individuals. There are plenty of parents, friends, and relatives grieving the falling-away of loved ones. But perhaps it was Cooper’s foundation in Christianity that gave him stability when nothing else could.

He clearly has a lot of respect for his dad, and no doubt his father’s words rang in his ears during his darkest times.

“He could preach all day, keep you interested, tell jokes,” he said about his father in a 2011 interview. “I got that from him. He also loved music: Sinatra and Elvis.”

“When the Beatles came along, I was surprised when he went, ‘Yeah, they’re pretty good,’ because other parents were going, ‘Oh, no’. And my mom only worried about the lifestyle: ‘You’re gonna get caught up in drugs, you’re gonna get 20 girls pregnant.’”

Some people have had a hard time lining up Cooper’s appearance and life with standard Christian values, but he has words for them.

“There’s nothing in Christianity that says I can’t be a rock star. People have a very warped view of Christianity. They think it’s all very precise and we never do wrong and we’re praying all day and we’re right-wing. It has nothing to do with that. It has to do with a one-on-one relationship with Jesus Christ.”

Alice Cooper Reveals How Jesus Saved His Life on Night He Was Throwing up Blood 40 Years Ago

 

He’s also been faithful to his Christian wife, and the two still love each other after all these years.

“My wife is a ballet teacher so she is very organized,” he said in 2011. “I’m the spontaneous one – she never knows what’s coming, except that I’m gonna be home and I’m gonna be sober. After that, there might be a ticket to Jamaica in there.”

 

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10 Men You Should Never Marry

(Editor’s Note: The below examples are not intended to gender stereotype. This is merely a list of common pitfalls.)

1. The Late Night Texter
You know, the guy who only texts you after midnight. He’s the guy who only contacts you when he wants something or someone to talk to. You can go weeks without hearing from this person, only to rarely get a text full of smiley faces and a message that reads, “Hey! How are you?” They aren’t consistent. Don’t fall into the trap. (or… he’s texting you to hook up ‘ late night’ after every other skank at the bar has turned him down!)

2. The Slacker
He’s the guy who has no dreams, vision, or passion to get up and do anything. Don’t let his smooth words trick you into a relationship that will be full of dull moments and half-hearted plans.

3. The Liar

Don’t trust a man who is constantly lying to you. If you continue to ignore his inconsistencies, he could eventually do something detrimental to your relationship.

4. The Flake
This is the guy who calls off dates, constantly changes plans, and never shows up when he promises. If you think this will change once you’re married, you’re wrong. A flaky man will never put his woman first.

5. The Cheater
I’m all for grace and second chances, but the last thing you want is to find yourself in a marriage with someone you can’t even trust. I’m a huge believer that everyone can change, but please don’t get caught up in the lie that cheating is just a normal part of life. You deserve better.

6. The Partier
Stay away from him. Although he may seem fun and outgoing, I guarantee you will be better off with someone who stays away from gatherings full of bad mistakes and regretful decisions. The lifestyle of a partier never fits well with the maturity needed in marriage.

7. The Fake
He’s the guy who claims to be one thing, but in person never steps up to the plate. Not only is this unfair to your relationship, but you need to understand this isn’t going to stop anytime soon. Look for a man who is who he claims to be. Fakes can only pretend for so long.

8. The Hypocrite
He goes back and forth between his beliefs, standards, and regulations on life. Most of the time this man will change things to better suit his personal life. Don’t expect yourself to have a thriving relationship with someone who is constantly hypocritical in their words and actions.

9. The Flirt
This man loves to flirtatiously chat with strangers, waiters, and even your friends. The man you should seek is one who flirts with you and only you, no matter the circumstance. That last thing you want is to be married to someone who will deliberately flirt with people in front of you, let alone behind your back.

10. The Jerk
Simple. Don’t marry a jerk. You deserve more than that this guy can offer you. Look for someone who is kind, generous, selfless, and chivalrous. The last thing you want is to be embarrassed about bringing your man in public, all due to his attitude. Not to mention, verbal abuse is a widely spread problem that I don’t believe any woman should have to encounter.

***

What are your thoughts? Leave a comment below.

 

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California Dreamin’ – 1982 to 1984 – Samantha

I met this girl one night at one of our shows. She seemed pretty cool, but a little on the weird side. But she had good taste in music and was into all the same metal shit I was into, so I went with it.

We went on a few dates, made out once. I took her out to dinner and then we went to a gay bar for some karaoke. She left me to go chat with the boys at the bar while I sat alone at a table.

They kept buying her drinks and she got more and more drunk while I sat there sipping my beer waiting for her to come back. Eventually a group of college-aged lesbians walk in and she immediately wanders over to them. They all go back outside for a cigarette. I sigh, and finish off my beer. My date and one of the other lesbians come back in and walk towards the back of the bar towards the bathrooms. They stop, and start making out against the wall.

I left, but my date followed me out. She cried and begged for me to not leave her there and that she was drunk and made out with strangers sometimes. All romantic feelings were crushed right then and there, but she and I still hung out as friends for about a month. Then one day she made the moves on me. I declined. She punched out a window and then ran out into the middle of the street and laid down. I drove away and cut off all contact.

 

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Polyamorous relationships may be more fullfilling than monogamous ones (for a time at least)

While there is a rich body of literature in the social sciences focusing on romantic relationships, most research falls within a monogamous structure. In a new study, researchers at York University in Toronto provide new insights into polyamorous relationships — meaning, being able to have open sexual or consensual romantic relationships with more than one person at a time — and why some people prefer them. According to the findings, having more than one romantic partner may help individuals better meet their needs for eroticism and nurturing.

A different romantic partner for different needs

Rhonda Balzarini, a post-doc in psychology at York University, says it is common for couples early in their relationship to experience high desire and passion, leading to frequent sex — this is often referred to as the ‘honeymoon phase’. Later in the relationship, sexual intensity tends to fade away, while comfort and intimacy tend to increase. But does this dynamic also apply to other types of romantic relationships?

In their new study, Balzarini and colleagues investigated how polyamorous and monogamous relationships differ in their ability to fulfill partner’s needs for eroticism (sexual intensity, pleasure, and passion) and nurturance (comfort and security).

The researchers recruited 2,183 monogamous and 1,168 polyamorous individuals who were surveyed about their experiences of eroticism and nurturance, as well as their sexual satisfaction and closeness with their partners. Those in polyamorous relationships had to rate these aspects twice: once for their primary partner with whom they had more commitments, and once for their secondary partner, with whom they had less ongoing commitments.

The results published in the journal Social Psychology, suggest that those in polyamorous relationships experienced greater nurturance with primary partners compared to secondary and monogamous partners. At the same time, they also experienced greater eroticism with secondary partners compared to primary and monogamous partners.

“One key takeaway is that people in polyamorous relationships do seem to diversify their need fulfillment across their relationships and this may allow them to experience the best of both worlds (high eroticism and nurturance simultaneously),” Balzarini wrote in an article for PsyPost.

“This does not mean that everyone should engage in polyamory but suggests that there might be benefits to diversifying need fulfillment and relying on different people to meet different needs. Although people in monogamous relationships are not permitted to have their sexual needs met outside of the relationship, they may be able to diversify their need fulfillment in other ways — for example, by seeking out friends and family to meet needs for support, adventure, or intellectual stimulation,” she added.

The researchers also found that when polyamorous participants experienced greater eroticism with a primary partner, they tended to have less closeness with the secondary partner.

In the future, the researchers would like to investigate whether experiencing eroticism and nurturance from non-romantic partners (i.e. friends and family for nurturing and pornography for eroticism) can compensate for unsatisfactory levels in one’s romantic relationship. It would also be interesting to see a study of how polyamorous relationships evolve over time and whether they deteriorate faster and more often than monogamous relationships. Can you really have the best of both worlds? Maybe, but perhaps not for long. In other words, each partner may be happy with their polyamorous arrangement — until they’re not anymore.

This sort of research might reveal hidden nuances regarding the evolution of romantic relationships. Most societies in the world today are comprised of monogamous couples, both for heterosexual and homosexual individuals. So there may be many reasons why monogamy is culturally superior to consented polygamy — and science might one-day have an elaborate answer to share.

 

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The Chauffeur

One of the worst dates I’ve ever gone on was all my fault.

I met a girl on tinder who I had been talking to for a while. She always flaked on me last minute or would randomly start ignoring me. We tried a few times, but she always bailed so I just gave up.

Finally she reached out again to meet up and said she wasn’t over an ex or something but now she was so I agreed.

Anyway, a little back story, I had been out of the country for over a year traveling so when I got back to the USA I moved in with my parents and basically didn’t have any clothes except the few I bought when I got back as the rest were in a storage unit.

I throw all my clothes in the wash after work to be ready for my date. About 1.5 hours later I went to take them out of the wash and throw them in the dryer, and noticed the washing machine was still filled with water. I didn’t know what to do so I just picked out the outfit I wanted and threw it in the dryer. . . they were soaked.

She took and Uber to the bar where we were meeting and literally texted me that she was there and I hadn’t even left them house yet. I was only like 7 minutes away and just blamed not being able to find my keys or something, and that I would just be a few minutes late. I didn’t want to cancel the whole time because I finally got a date with her but literally my clothes were still sooooo soggy and damp.

Whatever, I threw them on. Now the situation gets worse.

Can’t find my wallet ANYWHERE. I panic and leave without it. Thankfully my friend is manager of the bar so I give him a call to make sure I can pay another time. He says no problem and will let the bartender know.

I drive to the bar holding my shirt out the window in my wet jeans and boxers. I see her and she gets up to give me a hug and I have to explain why I’m wet, she laughs, thinks its funny, whatever.

Finally we are ready to leave, and the bartender gives me the check. WTF that wasn’t supposed to happen. I stall for a bit and then see my friend is finished her shift. . . yes she works there too lol, I didn’t tell my date any of this though. I tell my date I knew those people over by (where my friend was having an after shift drink with her other server friends) and I was going to say hi before we left. I discreetly toss my friend the check and say I’ll explain later. Perfect, crisis averted.

Now we leave the bar and I ask her if I can give her a ride home instead of Ubering, she agrees. I get in the car and notice I have little fuel. . . but no worries I read even when it hits 0 you can still go for a while. Of course she lives in like the furthest point of the town from where we are. It’s like up these winding hills in the middle of the woods. Of course, my car comes to a halt. That was a difficult one to explain, and finally I just had to admit I couldn’t find my wallet but I didn’t want to cancel the date and now my car is out of gas.

No worries, I go to call a Lyft, as that’s the only ride share app I have. Of course, we’re in such a remote area there aren’t any, not to mention its late. Can’t download Uber because I don’t have a credit card on me so she has to call one. We have to awkwardly wait for soooo long. Even worse, the first 2 gas stations we go to are closed. Finally we get to a Wawa that’s open. We go in and by a gas canister and I had to turn to her for payment. She gets us that and fills it with gas. We go to get in the Uber and he won’t let me in with a gas can.

We finally get back to my car still sitting in the middle of the road because I don’t know how to put it in neutral to move it when the car is not on. I drive her to her house and before I leave she hands be $10 for gas to get myself home.

My wallet was swimming in the washing machine. What a night…

I got a second date.

 

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Another Life – Chapter 32

https://lapetitemort17.wordpress.com/?p=445

 

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