6 Zodiac Signs Who Like Being The Submissive One In Their Relationship

Because dominance is overrated.

In romantic relationships, there are two types of people: the kinds of people who love to take control of plans and situations and those who prefer to stay in the background of things and just let it happen.

Some call these terms “submissive” and “dominant”. People often see them as an exchange of power.

Unless you love either role, playing each can feel risky, but there are certain zodiac signs who know exactly what they want in love, and that’s to give up their power and let another person take the lead.

Now, I’m not talking about in the bedroom. Rather, I’m talking about the everyday aspects of relationships – the nitty gritty stuff that makes you fall in and out of love with a person.

Astrology can tell us a lot about how people behave in relationships.

Taking into account their zodiac sign, you can assess how submissive or dominant zodiac women in relationships will be.

The following female astrological signs are the most likely to display submissive traits that demonstrate their desire to be obliging and amiable towards their partner.

Here are the 6 most powerful zodiac signs who love letting control go when they feel safe enough to be submissive in a relationship.

1. TAURUS (April 20 – May 20)

When it comes to relationships, Taurus women aren’t as dominant as other zodiac signs. They prefer to be indulged with the luxuries that relationships provide – both material and emotional pleasures.

Of course, this isn’t to say that Taurus women aren’t powerful, because they are. Instead, this means that they would rather be passive in the relationship and allow their partner to control the finer details such as where they would like to eat out or when they should leave for an event.

They’re incredibly patient, and OK with waiting for their partner.

2. GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)

Every Gemini woman hates making decisions, especially in relationships. Therefore, you’ll rarely see a Gemini take a dominant role.

Geminis are adaptable and, sometimes, people-pleasers, so relying on their partners to make the important decisions is common for the twins.

In fact, being the submissive one in the relationship helps curb some of Gemini women’s nervousness and anxiety that’s inevitable for most twins in relationships (they worry about what others think of them).

However, Geminis have two personalities; they can be the dominant one on occasion.

3. VIRGO (August 23 – September 22)

Virgo women are fairly shy, which contributes to their desire to be the passive one in a relationship. A Virgo woman is highly critical of herself, so she may prefer to have her partner control different aspects of the relationship because she feels that he or she may be better than she is.

Though, Virgo women may be tempted to be submissive because they believe that is the best way to show how loyal and kind they can be. Regardless, a Virgo woman never oversteps her boundaries and prefers to stay on the sidelines.

4. LIBRA (September 23 – October 22)

Libras are focused on the idea of fairness, so they would like the relationship to allow a changing dynamic. Because Libra women are diplomatic, they will let their partner take the dominant role for a period of time and wait for their turn to be the dominant one in the relationship patiently.

While they may not always prefer the submissive role in the relationship, you can be sure that you’ll see Libra women willingly deferring to their partner in preparation for their turn to wear the pants in the relationship.

5. PISCES (February 19 – March 20)

Whereas other women may just enjoy the position of being the less-dominant one in the relationship, Pisces women like the idea of helping their partner feel empowered and loved. Letting him or her make important decisions and “run the day,” in a sense, may be a Pisces woman’s way of telling her partner that she loves him or her.

Because Pisces women are selfless and endlessly compassionate, they want to please their partner in any ways they can – emotionally and physically. This includes enabling a Pisces woman’s partner to take control of some aspects of the relationship (to an extent, of course).

 

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Sun Stories: Eileen – Chapter 2 – Getting to Know You

I feel like when I was doing all of those things I was a ghost in my own life.

Eileen started tonight. She’s 18 and beautiful. You’ve been reading phicklephilly, I have to get to that.

She arrives and is wearing a grey shirt and tights. All of the girls wear that now. I have no idea why. It’s too revealing of their curves.

Imagination is the king of fantasy.

I have three sisters and a daughter that lives with me. Our salon is built on respect to women and that’s maybe one of the reasons they choose us. We’re all about respect. (Well that, and the best pricing and the best equipment in the city!)

It’s Thursday. I miss Amelia who is awesome. I love having her here to help me navigate the nights here at the salon. But tonight I get to meet my hire.

Eileen arrives. She is wearing a grey shirt and black tights. She looks fine to work here. It’s sporty and conservative. She’s fine.

When it’s super busy in here she’ll probably go with a tank top and shorts but I digress. (Kidding!)

Eileen is my hire. I chose her. I knew she was amazing from the start.

Eileen is beautiful. She’s studying criminal law at Drexel and is a freshman.

No worries. I’m training her and she’s following me around like a pup and cleaning beds.

Just so you all know. I’ve had many opportunities to exploit my underlings but I never did that. I learned that from my father, Because he ALWAYS did that. And my daughter Lorelei and I are too BARR, (My mother’s side of the family) to pull that shit)

Eileen is doing a great job. I adore her.

I’ve killed myself for so long over so many shifts. I’m just happy to have the help. I have Cherie. I’m not going to try to tap Eileen. She’s like a daughter or a niece for god’s sakes.

“My patents split up when I was 3.”

“Me too. Lorelei was three and a half.”

“I have a half-brother. He’s nine and looks just like me.”

Shows me pics and that kid looks a lot like her.

Cute kid.

I show her pics of my daughter.

I love being around lovely Eileen.

New people intrigue me and we need help. She’s so pretty. I love that I always liked that. I love the sound of her voice. So sweet and like a song. I’m happy she made the call to join our team.

Last year it was Summer and me. I love Summer. So efficient and cunning. I love her as friend and a co-worker. I miss her so much. (See: Sun Stories: Summer – Night Shift Girl)

“I had a sister who died when I was 9.”

“Oh my god. What happened?”

“She was born with a heart murmur. She had so many operations. It was so sad. She died after five weeks.”

“I’m so sorry. What a horrible way to come into the world if even for a brief time.”

“Yea. It was really sad. My mom still wears a little pendant with her name on it.”

We turn the conversation to happier thoughts.

The night passes and I’m training her on cleaning the beds, when and how to do the laundry, vacuuming the salon and folding the towels.

Eileen is a quick learn. I even notice she’s watching the computer screen intently while waiting to go clean the beds. That’s what we hired these girls for. Clean beds while I manage the salon, sales and the clients.

But while Eileen is standing there with her spray gun and towels, I notice her eyes are on every transaction I’m doing. She’s very visual and smart. She’s learning the system even on her first night wiping down beds.

She’s my hire. I chose her the minute I met her. She’s extraordinary. I can see she’s working out. An 18 year old teenager raised in the digital age. Her brain is wired to learn looking at a computer screen.

Me, the old horse, grew up in an age when there were no computers. Only books. I learn slowly. These kids today are like lightning. Say what you want about millenials. You just don’t understand them. You brought them into this world, but their learning abilities are beyond anything you know.

Sure they have no game, and no sense of direction, or spacial awareness. They are slaves to their phones, but they learn the software of anything faster than any of us born even 30 years ago because of technology.

Achilles always complained about his staff. They were a bunch of young girls he was paying $9 an hour. Of course she has the flu the day after St Patrick’s Day. They all would call out sick and were never reliable.

This crap went on for 10 years! He had three salons and he closed two of them because it was, “same headache, times 3” he said.

I get it. It’s hard to find good staff in the retail and hospitality industry industry. I never knew this because I worked in corporate america in banking and advertising my whole life. But for $9 an hour you’re going to get a lot of bubble head kids. It’s just the nature of the business.

But then he got me.

Everything changed.

He finally had an anchor. An older mature man that would give you the $80K employee experience for coolie wages. (As my mother would say)

I know he appreciated it and couldn’t believe his good fortune, but always treated me like any other employee. I get that. That’s all I wanted. I wanted to work. I realized after being in the rat race for my whole life that it was all folly.

The suit and ties. The houses, the cars, the marriage, the children, the stuff.

So much stuff.

I was living the life I thought I should be living to fit into some American dream.

It’s all bullshit.

All of it.

Lies.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s good to work hard and make money and move up and build a life for yourself.

You make more money, and become an executive and get a good pretty wife and a house and a mortgage, but is that what you really want?

We all follow the same path our parents did. Just that. But does it work for all of us?

Not so much. But we get caught up in it because that’s what we’re taught. We’re children and we are told by our elders that it’s the key to a happy and secure life.

Bullshit.

Work hard. Eat shit sandwiches in a job you hate, sacrifice your happiness, and make a bunch of money and secure a bunch of STUFF.

Stuff and possessions is you filling your empty heart with a temporary hamburger.

You’re full for three hours and then you are you again.

I never want to go back to that. I’ve had all of that and none of it means anything.

I hated all of it. I now want for nothing.

I feel like when I was doing all of those things I was a ghost in my own life.

I live a simple life now and my daughter Lorelei lives with me since she was 18 years old.

The universe has somehow righted itself.

I’ve worked at this salon for 2 years and now we have this fitness center and it’s starting to take off. But I’m no longer harnessed to the bridle of corporate america. My best friend of 20 years is owned by Wells Fargo and he’s rich, but his life sucks royal Canadian moose cock everyday. I love him, but his wife is gone. He has no kids, and he’s left in a pool of mediocrity with his fifty something Asian girlfriend. He’ll never marry again because he feels like a failure and it’ll just be him at the end of the day with a pile of money and his rhumetoid arthritis.

I smoke and drink and work all of the time. I love my life. Everyday I’m looking forward to doing something and seeing a friend or lover.

I can’t believe my good fortune.

But then I pause and think, I built that.

We can look back on our lives and see it as a bunch of crazy events and stories, but if you really look at it, it’s a lovely novel woven by you.

 

Eileen finishes vacuuming and folding towels.

She’s had a great first day and I’m proud of her. I knew she’d be wonderful.

I’m on my feet everyday and active. I’m interacting with our clients and selling my ass off. I’m training this lovely girl, and she is laughing at my jokes.

How bad is my life?

We lock up and I show this raven haired beauty how sometimes the lock box can be a bit temperamental.

The lights are out so I use my flashlight app to guide her downstairs.

We say goodbye. I tell her that she’s done a good job on her first day.

She gives me that firm handshake that I loved upon our first meeting.

Off she goes.

“See tomorrow, Charles!”

 

I finally hired a winner.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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4 Things Women Do To Attract Men (That Actually Chase Them Away)

The key to what men want when dating.

If you want to know how to get a guy to like you, there’s one thing you need to stop doing: chasing him!

Are you chasing after a man and don’t even know it?

When you chase a man, you not only tend to unwittingly push him away but, in the end, you don’t give him the chance to show you how he really feels about you.

I know how frustrating it is to sit back and let a man drift away.

We want to know what men want in a partner. We want a man to know we’re attracted and interested in him. We want to make it easy for him to ask us out again and consider being in a relationship with us. We want to seem enthusiastic and easygoing.

We know we’re not supposed to be chasing after him and, yet, we’re still doing it and in ways that we’re not even aware of.

We think being friendly is the same as showing interest in a man. We are taught to think that if we act “casual,” a man won’t notice that we’re actually chasing him.

But, the truth is, we are — chasing him, that is. And when we do things that seem like we’re chasing it’s a turn off for a man. He feels smothered and feels an aggressive vibe from you that does nothing to inspire him to want to get closer.

So, if you want to know how to be attractive and get a guy to like you, here are 4 things you need to avoid.

1. Calling him before he calls you

This includes calling him because you heard or read about something interesting. Or maybe you knew there was a great band playing somewhere and thought he might like it. Or someone told you about some great event that you want to invite him to or — anything at all.

It also includes calling to ask why he hasn’t called you.

2. Initiating contact

This involves emailing him, texting him, Facebooking him, sending him a cute card, dropping by his house, or in any way attempting to initiate some kind of contact.

3. Making suggestions or plans

You’re inviting him to come and join you or in any way acting like the social director of the relationship.

4. Asking him how he feels

This includes, especially, asking him how he feels about you or the relationship.

These are things we do almost without even thinking about it. These are things that feel natural to us and we excuse them by thinking we’re just being friendly.

And at the heart of this is one fear: Feeling like we’re going to lose him by not letting him know we’re interested in him. And nothing could be further from the truth!

Everything on this list is the same as putting a sign on your chest that screams needy. It smacks of desperation. And, it’s just plain not attractive to him.

He may like it. He may be flattered. He may have no one else around and so he’ll date you. He may even come to like you very much. You may even end up in a relationship with him.

But, you will never know how he really feels about you.

So, if you want to know how to make him want you, stop chasing after him.

Instead, figure out what men want in relationships and then work on yourself. Genuine attraction won’t be far off.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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10 Ways To Stop Worrying About Money And Attract More Of It

It can feel unnatural to relax when you have bills pending and a dwindling bank account. But giving in to your fears won’t do anything to attract more money. In reality, giving in to your anxiety will generate negative energy that stops you from bringing more money into your life.

How to Stop Worrying and Attract More Money

Money comes and money goes, but worrying about it won’t make it come any faster. If you’d like to attract more money, keep reading to learn how to stop worrying and how to become the money magnet you really are.

1. Identify Any Negative Beliefs You Have About Money

Stop worrying about your bank account by recognizing your fears and any other negative beliefs you may have about money. Many people admit they are taught to never discuss money. Additionally, they believe that having a lot of money is evil, and that they should feel bad when spending money. These beliefs all stem from insecurity and need to be done away with if you hope to attract more money into your life.

Start becoming the money magnet you deserve to be by unlearning all these negative beliefs and replacing them with positive energy. It’s time for you to accept the idea that you deserve to have wealth.

2. Build a New Money Mindset with Positivity

The next step in learning how to stop worrying about money is the start of rebuilding your money mindset using positive affirmations. According to the law of attraction, what you think, you become. Thus, what you speak into your life will come to pass.

Start speaking positivity into your finances by using positive money affirmations on a regular basis. Begin every day by looking into a mirror and speaking the following types of affirmations to yourself:

  • I am a winner.
  • I‘m stepping into a new financial future.
  • My blessings and wealth are overflowing.
  • I deserve all the money I will make.

Positive affirmations like those above that tap into the law of attraction and your ability to bring about a change in your life with the type of energy you exude. By already believing that you deserve money and that you’re already building the wealth that you’re working towards, your life will automatically align to reach these goals.

3. Learn What You Deserve in Life

What stops many people from going after what they want is the fact that they don’t believe that they deserve it.

Want to get out of debt? Want to build generational wealth? While these may seem like lofty goals right now, the moment you already know that you deserve these things in your life is the moment that you start attracting them towards yourself.

The best thing about this obstacle of feeling undeserving is that you are fully in control of it. Stop worrying that you’ll never be financially stable and begin stepping into what you deserve.

Your dreams are only as big as you allow them to be and you deserve to dream big. Don’t give in to the insecurity that makes you feel undeserving. You are worthy of living the best life.

Start working on attracting what you deserve in life by realizing new goals. Do you hope to buy a house? Are you planning to build your savings? Write down all of your financial goals and understand that you deserve every single one of them.

4. Love Your Bills to Attract More Money

We have all been guilty of hating having to pay our bills. However, avoiding or hating your bills only adds more negative energy to your finances.

While it may seem absurd to try to love your bills, this little bit of love will go a long way. The key to attracting more money when paying your bills is to be confident, grateful, and happy as you pay the bills.

This is why part of learning how to stop worrying about money is to stop seeing bills as a black hole for your earnings. Your bills are a symbol of the life that you live, the blessings you enjoy, and your ability to finance your quality of life.

Additionally, the happier you are about getting to pay these bills, the more you will value the money you earn that you use to pay your bills. This positive energy and happiness will translate to you feeling more positive about the work you do and how you earn your money.

5. Be Happy for Others’ Financial Success

Jealousy and the feeling of missing out are strong motivators. We’ve all experienced feeling a certain sense of insecurity when we see others sharing about their luxury lifestyles or abundant lives. While these feelings can be inescapable at times, feeling this way isn’t effective if you’re hoping to stop worrying about your own finances.

Instead of feeling negative about yourself and financial situation when you see others doing well, start rejoicing for them. As you feel happier for the wealth that others are enjoying, the more the same energy will return to you.

Start destroying these negative and envious feelings by genuinely expressing excitement when you see someone else thriving. Speak the same into your life by telling yourself, “You deserve the same. You will have the same.”

This simple shift from jealousy to hopeful positivity will immediately affect how money flows into your life. Instead of being unhappy with where you are in your finances, your new happiness for others will spill over to your current situation, ultimately leading you to attract more money into your life.

6. Visualize Financial Abundance

Visualization is a powerful tool to bring about a change in your life. Do you want to increase your finances and live the lifestyle you’ve always dreamed of? Start visualizing it.

Visualize the life you want, deserve, and will have by writing out what you hope to see. And, imagine that you are living that life right now. While this may seem like a strange exercise, it will help to ease any fears you feel and help you to believe are already leading the life you long for.

To make visualization part of your daily life, commit to spending a few moments in the morning or at night to meditate on your money affirmations and visualize the life you long for. This will help you keep your goals fresh in your mind as you actively work to make them a reality each day.

7. Recognize Prosperity in Your Life

Prosperity is everywhere you go, if you know what to look for. By recognizing prosperity, you’ll be inviting it into your life.

Too often, we’re programmed to seek out poverty and notice what’s lacking in life. From your bank account to the world around you, you may be naturally inclined to see what’s wrong rather than look for what’s right.

Start transforming the way you look at life by automatically seeking out prosperity. In order for you to prosper, you must first be able to recognize prosperity.

 

 

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Sun Stories: Jazmin – Guess Girl – Chapter 6

“I trust you. I just want the feeling more than the fear I am feeling now.”

“Charles…. I think I’m ready.”

I tap on the closed-door. It’s now 8:30pm.

“Come in, please.”

When I enter the room, Jazmin is sitting on the edge of the sun bed. Her red blouse looks angry with me because of what’s on my mind.

Jazmin’s eyes look frightened and worried. But I know from her words she wants to try.

I smile warmly and enter the room.

“You okay?”

“Yea.”

Jazmin is sitting there like a patient in a doctor’s office. The yellow towel covers her lap. She’s done everything I’ve asked her to do, and as alien as this, I feel this is how it should go down. (Literally!)

She looks beautiful, nervous, and hopeful all in the same moment. Her dark eyes are innocent and she smiles weakly.

Gone is the sultry goddess.

I like that.

I’m about to use my expertise on a neophyte. She may be breaking some rules but I think she’s tired of waiting and horny. That’s okay. I’ll help relieve her of her burden and I hope we’re not breaking any rules.

“I’m really nervous. What do I do now Charles?”

“I’m going to grab some towels for my knees. The floor is hard and I’m not getting any younger, sweetheart.”

“Okay…”

“You’re fine. Just stay there. You’re doing great.”

“I’m actually feeling excited about this now.”

“Good. That’s the way this should be, dear.”

I grab some towels from beneath the counter because I know my old knees will break on the goddamn hardwood floors. It’s weird when even when you’re in the middle of a curious sex act shit can go wrong on a functional level.

I position the fluffy towels on the floor to cushion my knees and I think we’re ready to go.

As long as Jazmin is ready to go.

Lovely Jaz is on the sunbed. She’s laying vertically across it and her legs are hanging off the edge. Her skirt is folded on the table and her panties are laying on top of them. They’re white and lacy.

Jazmin is on the sun bed and her bottom is at the edge of the bed as if she’s ready to go, but she has a yellow towel over her sex.

This is a side of our clients I should never see. But here we are. There’s some mad extortion shit going down right now. It’s a mess I need to get myself out of because I need to protect the salon. (Yea, right.)

But my heart wants to please Jazmin. It’s like a mission to me. That’s how I’m a giver and a pleaser of girls. It sounds juvenile, but that’s how I am with women. I live to please and love them. I ‘ll give all until there’s nothing left of me. (Michelle knew this about me)

I slowly walk into room 9 and Jazmin is lying back on the bed. Her caramel thighs are spread and the little yellow towel is draped between her legs.

She looks really beautiful and vulnerable. Here is a girl who’s a business person and is the sole architect of this unique sexual predicament.

“I’m ashamed about how you’ll feel when you see me.”

“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before, Jaz.”

“But maybe I’m not as pretty and prim as girls you know.”

“Breathe, Jaz. I’m here to bring you joy for a few minutes if you still want it. The way you look has nothing to do with how happy you’ll be.”

“What if I have an ugly sex? No man will want that.”

“Okay. Breathe. There’s no such thing as that. That’s just how you’re made and it doesn’t matter. All women are different and all beautiful.  There are no ugly girl parts! Men love them all and are just happy to spend time with you.”

“Okay. I’m so stupid.”

“No. You’re a lovely woman. You’re learning things about yourself right now.”

“Okay… So what now….?

Jazmin was sitting on the edge of the sun bed. She was dressed from the waist up like I told her. I saw her skirt folded on the table and her panties folded on her skirt. (My eyes dart back and forth to consume the memory) I could see she had taken a towel from the sink outside the room and put it under herself as a little cushion. She also had another towel in her lap covering herself. But I couldn’t see anything. At this moment, we’re all business and nerves.

“Okay, Charles… So I’m scared. Thank you for turning the music back on. Shall we get to it?” She started to cry a little bit.

“Aww Jaz… You don’t have to do this. You can go home right now. I mean it.” (I’m actually tearing up) She’s completely covered by the towel but her skirt and panties are off and she’s only covered by a little hand towel.

This has to be incredibly difficult for her. Gone is the cocky woman I met a few weeks ago.

“I’m scared Charles, but I’m excited and I’m thinking I’m ready for the thing you do.”

“Okay. Time for the thing you asked for Jazmin.”

“Wait.”

“Yes… love?”

“I’m afraid to look upon you when you perform this act upon me.”

“Well… look away, dear. Because it’ll be magical and you don’t need to see it to feel it.”

“Wait.”

“What dear?”

“What if you wear a blindfold so you don’t have to look upon me. Then you won’t see my  sex.”

“I need to see what I’m doing , Jaz. I can’t please you blindly. It’s impossible. I need to see what I’m doing.”

 (Total bold-faced life. I can totally eat a sweet box with zero vision. I’ve done it since the 70’s in the dark.)

“Okay, what if I wear a blindfold so I only feel it and never see it?”

“That’s up to you Jaz.”

“I want that. Let me only feel the tactile. I want to see nothing.”

“Are you sure?”

“I am.”

“Okay. I’ll be right back.”

I hate this interruption, but I have to do what must be done, and I go to room 5 and grab a tie I left hanging in there from my old corporate days.

 

I return to room 9 with my nervous girl.

“Ready? I have this.” I hold the black and red tie my daughter gave me for my birthday years ago.

“Mm, hmm” she murmurs to me….. accepting the inevitably of her twisted wish.

“You okay?”

“Yes. I’m ready.”

“Everything’s fine. You’re almost there, Jazmin.” I say, as I tie the fabric over her eyes covering her vision from what I’m about to do to her.

This act has just heightened the experience for me. More control.

Now we have a perfectly beautiful 24-year-old girl blindfolded on a sunbed with her pants off and her legs spread prepared for the inevitable.

“Are you okay, Jaz?”

“Yes. It’s better this way. If I can’t see I will be less ashamed.”

“Do you feel safe?”

“I do. I trust you. I just want the feeling more than the fear I’m feeling now.”

“That’s good Jazmin. Just breathe. It’s going to be nice.”

I step back for a moment. Here is a young Persian beauty that was going to blackmail me because of something she saw, and now has turned it into a secret desire. I’m in a classic predicament here.

She’s gorgeous and sitting in bed 9. No pants on. Legs spread and now blindfolded for the taking. This is beyond anything I could have imagined happening in my life. But I want to do it. Jazmin is ready. She wants me to perform. I’m a pleaser and a giver and I’m used to this with whoever I’m with.

I have to do this.

Kita’s face appears in my mind. Giggling and squealing. I push her vision aside.

We’ve reached critical mass.

I just need to drop to my knees and do what I’m good at.

I feel a twinge of guilt.

I push it away.

“Okay, Charles.” She is breathing heavily and my lovely girl leans back and spreads her legs wider.

“Help me.”

“Okay, Jazmin.”

I slowly pull the towel away to reveal the beauty we are both about to receive.

The blog writes itself…

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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How to Forget an Ex for Good: 14 Proven Ways to Happily Move On

Learning how to forget an ex isn’t easy. It doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Try out these 14 tips if you want to forget your ex and move on with your life.

I was never good at moving on from my past relationships. And when social media showed me how I could become the biggest stalker in the world, well, let’s just say I really worked on developing how to forget an ex.

I would spend hours examining posts, trying to figure out the possible hidden messages, see if they were in pain over the breakup, missing every moment of my presence. Obviously, that was mostly my ego doing the social media stalking, but let’s save that for another day.

The point is forgetting an ex isn’t as easy as people think it is.

How to forget an ex – The little steps you need to take

If you were emotionally bonded with someone, you’re breaking that bond. You’re no longer a couple; you’re transitioning to strangers. It’s a weird transition to make, and that’s why it’s so hard to do.

Most of the time, it happens on a whim, and you’re left feeling displaced and shocked. But that doesn’t mean you won’t be able to move on. Yes, it’s a shock, and it’ll be hard, but it’s entirely doable. In other words, your life isn’t over, and you will find love again.

It’s time you moved on and learned how to get over an ex.

#1 Stop stalking. I know you want to see their social media and make sure they haven’t moved on yet. But, you need to stop stalking them. Delete them from all social media, and whatever apps you have them on. How can you move on if they’re constantly in your face? Stop stalking.

#2 Focus on yourself. Um, hello. You’re single now, which means you have all the time in the world to focus on yourself. Tis the season for self-care, and now, it’s time you practiced it. Find a new activity, spend time with your friends and family, or go for hikes. Focus on doing things you enjoy and make you happy.

#3 Get yourself busy. If you’re laying on the couch all day, your mind will be focused on them. You’ll be sitting there, thinking about how they laugh or why they dumped you. It’s not a good move. Instead, get yourself busy. Whether it’s work, school, or volunteering, fill your day up with activities. The less you think about them, the better.

#4 Reflect on the breakup. There are two people in every relationship, meaning you have a responsibility in the relationship as well. It’s time for you to reflect on the relationship and see what went wrong. What were the things you did in the relationship? What should you work on for yourself?

#5 Think about the things you didn’t like. Every relationship has its ups and downs. There are things you liked about your partner and the relationship, and things you didn’t. During a breakup, we tend to only look at the good times. But this is when you should focus on the attributes you didn’t like. For your next relationship, you’ll be more aware of what you don’t want in a partnership.

#6 Hang out with your friends and family. Spend time with your support group as they’re the ones who will stand by you through the ups and downs. Listen to their advice and accept their love and support. And if you want to pull through, you’ll need those people around you.

#7 Don’t force them out of your mind. When it comes to knowing how to forget an ex, if you try too hard to not think about them, it’s not going to work. It’ll do the opposite. Let yourself grieve; this isn’t a race. Grieving isn’t something you can control or force. If they’re on your mind, process these thoughts and feelings. With time, they’ll disappear on their own. 

#8 If you’re still sleeping together, stop. Yeah, I know you think that you can continue sleeping with them without having feelings, but that’s a fairytale. You’ll never be able to move on if you’re still intimate with your ex. The sex may be good, but you know what’s better? Moving on.

#9 Grieve. Breaking up with someone is a grieving process. You no longer have your ex in your life, and it’s a transition. Give yourself the time to be emotional. Cry, scream, yell, get all your emotions out, and go through the process.

#10 Write your feelings down. Your friends and family will eventually get tired of talking about the breakup. This isn’t a bad thing. Really, there’s only so much other people can hear about it. So, write your feelings down, and get out everything that’s floating around in your mind. Just get it out.

#11 Don’t be friends with them. Yeah, I know you think you could be friends with them, but let’s get real here. It’s not going to happen, at least not right now. You can’t grieve and move on if you’re still hanging out with your ex-partner. So take a solid break from them, and when you feel you’ve moved on, then bring them back into your life.

#12 Volunteer and give back. We underestimate the value of giving back. When we’re stuck in our heads, it’s hard to see the good things you have in your life. But volunteering will keep you busy and will direct your time and energy towards giving back.

#13 Plan a trip. Sometimes, you just need to get out of your environment to help you put things into perspective. And you don’t even need to travel the world. A weekend trip to the next town over can do wonders. Plus, a change of scenery can help you reflect and inspire you for the future.

#14 Give yourself time to move on. When there’s a breakup, you want to move on as soon as possible. This is why we rebound and act like everything is okay. But in reality, you’re grieving. It’s going to take months for you to move on, and that’s okay. Give yourself time to move on.

 

Understanding how to forget an ex isn’t something that can be done overnight. But, give yourself a little bit of time, and you’ll move on to greener pastures.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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13 Types Of Guys Who Are Still Single After 35 – And They’re All Pretty Terrible

I’m Number 11!

Because the dating scene just ain’t what it use to be.

When you’re in your early 20s, almost everyone is single. Then, around 25 or so, “it” happens. Men, all of a sudden, want to start settling down. And if you’re as unlucky in love as I am, that means that you will end up being single, still trying to find The One who’s actually right for you. In a couple of years, almost everyone you know will end up settling down.

Unfortunately, single men who reach age 35 without being in a relationship are often dumpster fires. Like, bad ones. Speaking as someone who’s been there, dated that, and followed all sorts of dating advice, these are the types of single men you’ll meet after you hit the big 3-5.

1. The Aging Player

If he was still 22, this might be alright. But when a guy’s single at 30 and still juggling women, it’s just sad. People who need to keep up the “Player’s Lifestyle” are not happy people; they’re often very lonely and very insecure.

They often have issues they may not even be aware of. Sure, these guys can coast along when they’re 30, but usually, by 40, they realize that men’s looks fade, too, and money can only go so far. Contrary to popular belief, men do end up losing value over time, too. After all, money can’t buy love — just sex.

2. The Bitter Man

Oh, he went through the wringer, he did! Much like bitter women, Bitter Men had just one too many bad experiences with the dating scene and now they are done. Unlike bitter women, though, Bitter Men express their bitterness with rage, and are very vocal about it. They want you to know the dating equivalent of, “You didn’t fire me! I quit!”

Much like the Aging Player, these men are very sad people. They may need mental wellness help, and they may need to do some soul searching. They know not all women are like that, but they’ve reached the point where the resentment and rejection got so bad that they no longer could have a healthy relationship, even if they wanted to.

3. The Frantic Man

Biological clocks happen with men, too. One day, this guy, possibly a player, woke up and realized that he needs a family. Now, he’s on the prowl, and he’s a bit desperate.

His friends are getting worried, and so are his family members. He’s hitting up Match.com trying to find The One who will be a good baby mama. Oddly enough, he’s probably not that bad of a catch. However, you better be willing to settle down yesterday with this one. Like, babies, ASAP.

4. The Divorced Dad

He’s a great guy, things just didn’t work out with his ex. There’s a small catch to dating him though, and it’s not really that small. He’s got a kid… or five. You better believe that he’s looking for a replacement mother for them, but there’s good news.

These guys, if you want to have a ring and kids, are a good option. Sort of. They can have baggage that might make you think twice, especially if you hear rants about baby mamas thrown in the mix.

5. The Married Guy Who Claims He’s Single

Yeah, they’re not single. They’re just horrible human beings who probably should divorce the poor women they swindled into marriage. Nothing about guys like this is sexy.

This is a huge portion of the reason why so many women end up having trust issues. But trust me, he’s in the minority. At least, that’s what I’m hoping is true.

6. The Dumpster Fire

Dumpster Fires are actually not always physically unappealing, per se, but that’s often icing on the cake. You see, the problem with Dumpster Fires is that they are literally unable to behave normally with other people. They often have an idea that something might be wrong, but they can’t, for the life of them, understand why they have such a hard time with people.

There are a million reasons why a Dumpster Fire could be a persona non grata in the dating scene. Whether it’s due to Nice Guy Syndrome, drug use, violent mood swings, or something else, the fact is that the Dumpster Fire is always a s***show in the dating scene, regardless of how much they can’t see that fact.

7. Mr. You’re-So-Nice-As-A-Friend

Some people, regardless of looks or personality, just don’t seem to have the right “zazz” to be considered f***able by others. He might have an “uncle face,” put off the wrong vibes, or just have some kind of mismatch in hormones.

Sadly, there’s not much people in this situation can do, aside from continuing their search, trying to improve themselves more, or giving up.

8. The Optimistic Quitter

Sometimes, love just doesn’t seem to be a priority, or rather, just doesn’t seem to be in the cards. Men, more than women, are likely to just stop trying to date anyone and are also likely to stop pursuing partners. Why? Because in many situations, it just doesn’t make sense to keep trying only to face an increased change of being shot down.

What’s cool about Optimistic Quitters is that they aren’t necessarily bitter towards women, and that they would be open if a girl were to approach them. However, due to the dating scene being what it is, they may not even pick up when a lady’s interested anymore.

9. The Manchild

Narcissistic and totally irresponsible, the Manchild usually does believe he wants to date someone. However, he doesn’t actually want a girlfriend. He wants a new mom. He also wants to have a mom that blows him and provides for him.

Woe is the woman who finds herself a Manchild boyfriend, because she’ll likely be burned out by the time she leaves him. Outwardly, though, he seems okay… at least at the start. That’s what keeps him being different than a Dumpster Fire.

10. The Guy Who Realizes He’s Messed Up And Refuses To Date Because Of It

Many of the types of single men you’ll see after 30 are just not respectable from a dating standpoint. But this guy? This guy, you have to respect. It takes a lot of willpower to actually admit that there are problems that need to be fixed before you get into dating again.

Some of these guys swear off dating permanently, other guys are just doing a temporary break. Either way, at least he’s being honest with himself.

11. The Guy Who Legit Is Happily Single And Won’t Change That

Social standards, be damned. Some folks are happy being single and want to stay that way. It happens to both men and women, so we can’t really hate. (I think that’s me!)

12. The Catch

He’s got a Master’s from Yale, a kickass body, and, oh yeah, no psychological issues. He lives an action-packed life. He doesn’t have kids, either.

Problem? Well, he’s looking for his equivalent in a woman and, unfortunately, rare guys like this will end up staying single for longer because it’s so hard to find someone that perfect, regardless of gender.

13. The Choosing Beggar

Some folks hear the phrase “Beggars can’t be choosers” and don’t realize it applies to them. As unromantic as it is to say, there’s no such thing as a totally perfect partner, especially if you, yourself, are far from perfect.

However, Choosing Beggars will not give up their standards of seeing women who are modelesque, 5’10”, with a booming career, regardless of the fact that they often have pot bellies, bad personalities, and dead-end jobs. Oh well, single life isn’t that bad, right?

Which one of these losers are you? Do you know anyone who fits any of these descriptions?

I do!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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