The Beach House – Chapter 17

“She isn’t aware of any of this yet. I would appreciate it if you kept her in the dark.” I wanted to be the one to tell her. This time I will be in the room. “You’re free to tell her we spoke.”

“Whatever happened between you two, Sir, I want you to know she has always acted in your best interest.” Bob is loyal too. I am really liking this guy.

“Monica is my second favorite woman on this planet, Bob,” I chuckled . “I am just making her sweat a bit. She deservedly put me in my place, but she never envisioned the results.” I smiled at Mia and she patted my arm. “I owe her a lot more than she knows. I just have to be in the room when she finds out.”

“Okay then, silence it is. She is going to press, of course. I hope you’ll let her know that I was under direct orders.” Bob seemed a bit more relieved.

“I will be happy to let her know. Your loyalty is impressive Bob.” He was quickly becoming another favorite person of mine. “Mia and I are going take short trip this weekend. When we return, I want you to set us up as beneficiaries of each other’s wills and gather whatever signatures you need to make sure that Mia has the same access to our assets as I do.”

“Mia Perez or Mia Tomlinson?” He was on the ball.

“Tomlinson.” Mia answered. She wrapped her hand around my waist.

“Congratulations to the both of you. I will have everything ready on your return.” He didn’t even mention a pre-nup again. I like people who don’t try to beat a dead horse.

“Bob, from now on my name is Dale.” I hung up before he argued that one. I pulled Mia in close and kissed her.

“You know he might be right about the pre-nup. It would make everyone else feel better.” Mia was trying to be realistic. I was done being realistic.

“Nope, I am all in. If you murder me for my money it’s on me.” I smiled pulling her closer.

“And pass up on nude painting. Do you think I’m insane?” She gave me a passionate kiss.

I called up Brian Fitzgerald at Gem Works. “Mr. Tomlinson, I was rather surprised when your associate called.” He sounded a bit non-trusting.

“Please, call me Dale. I understand I can buy 30% of Gem Works for five million. I am interested as Bob must have informed you.” I was going to let greed take its course.

“It was the speed of the transaction the concerns me, Dale. These things usually take months. You want to move in hours.” Damn, I got a non-greedy one. Time for truth.

“I have a two stipulations to the purchase. They are the real reason. If you agree, the company has the funds it needs to grow. I will hold for a minimum of ten years. No other strings attached.” This was a no-bullshit guy.

“Name them.” Yep, no bullshit.

“Kyle Gladstone will get a 20% raise.” I forestalled the next question. “His actions allowed someone I love to avoid a horrible outcome. He needn’t know where it came from.”

“He’s a good kid… Done. What’s the other?” That was easy.

“The other concerns Thomas Patterson.” This one might be bit tougher.

“What do you want with that pompous ass?” Might not be as tough as I thought.

“He was going to be the horrible outcome.” I let that sink in. “I want to be able to fire him, and I want you to let him know I can do it.”

“Well that’s an easy yes. May I ask what the horrible outcome was?” That went better than expected.

“It’s better that you don’t know. You might fire him on the spot.” Brian sounds like a guy who might have him beaten first. “He will either quit or become a model employee when I am done with him.”

“He must have really pissed you off to spend five million to get a hold on him?” He was chuckling. “I would have let you have him for a lot less.”

“Oh, I still consider this an investment, Brian. If your expansion works as expected, I win twice.” I didn’t want him to think I just throw money down the drain.

“It will work. I’ll double you in five years.” He was extremely confident. “My lawyers are talking with yours. I trust we can sign by the end of the week.”

“I will give my lawyer power to sign and distribute the funds immediately. As soon as your lawyers are happy, it’s done.” I should have just given him a check and shook his hand.

“Great, I’ll have Patterson in my office at 3:00. Call me at 3:10, and I’ll leave you two alone.” He was chuckling again. “Sure is good doing business with you, Dale.”

“Same here, Brian.” we disconnected.

Mia and I went shopping. We let the store clerk talk us into way too many painting implements, and we picked paint for two rooms. Mia had a terrible time trying to pick the colors. She finally narrowed it down to five and made me a pick the winner. I made it look like I was considering them carefully. I actually did “eeny, meeny, miny, moe” in my mind. Two of the colors were so close, I couldn’t even tell the difference. That choice made, she picked accent colors. I couldn’t wait to paint.

We spent a few hours at a travel agent. Mia wanted this part to be perfect. I couldn’t believe she even suggested it. She hit a homerun as far as I was concerned.

The grocery store was a lot more fun. We got to find out a lot about what we like and dislike. We were totally compatible in the meat department, polar opposites when it came to vegetables. We both loved ice cream although we had to compromise on mint chocolate chip. I snuck some chocolate syrup into the cart. When I thought we were done, she took me back to the vegetables and grabbed the broccoli that I had poo-pooed earlier. I was told it was good for me, and if she had to serve it off her breasts to get me to eat it, she would. Broccoli was looking better all the time.

 

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If You’re About To Start Dating Someone Your Friends Don’t Like, Remember These 6 Things

Introducing someone you’re dating to your friends can be a really nerve-wracking experience — especially if you’re really into this new person. I’ve been in situations where my friends instantly took a dislike to the person I was dating (they usually ended up being right about them, by the way) and it was an all-around stressful situation. When you’re dating someone your friends don’t like, it can feel like you have to compartmentalize your life, and like you’re always playing interference between the two parties — trying to keep the peace and make everyone happy. So, yeah, not great.

While this scenario is far from ideal, Connell Barrett, founder of Dating Transformation and executive dating coach, tells Elite Daily it’s not uncommon. “It would be great if all your friends liked your romantic partner, but that’s not how people are wired. Some of us just don’t jive with others. And chances are you haven’t liked everyone that they’ve dated either. You can’t please everyone all of the time, and that includes your BFFs,” he says. Here’s what the experts suggest you keep in mind if you’re newly dating someone your friends just do not like, no matter how hard you try to get them to vibe.

1. REMEMBER: YOUR OPINION OF YOUR PARTNER IS THE ONE THAT COUNTS THE MOST.

While your friends’ input does matter, Erica Gordon, millennial dating expert, founder of The Babe Report, and author of Aren’t You Glad You Read This?, tells Elite Daily it’s important not to let your feelings get lost in the mix. “Remember that the most important opinion about your partner is your own. You’re the one who knows your partner best, not your friends. You’re the one who will have the best instincts regarding your partner,” she explains.

Barrett agrees, saying you shouldn’t feel like you can only date people your friends approve of. “Your friends are entitled to their feelings, but that doesn’t mean you need to stop dating your new significant other. You can agree to disagree while staying great friends. And hey, it’s not their job to love your partner. That’s your job,” he says. “You’re the one dating this person, not them. If your new partner makes you happy and treats you well, that’s the most important thing.”

2. THEY MAY SEE SOMETHING YOU’RE NOT SEEING.

While your opinion about the person you’re dating is the most important, it doesn’t hurt to take their feelings into consideration, says Barrett. After all, they have a unique perspective on the relationship. “They might have good reasons for not liking your SO. Listen and see if they have a point. It doesn’t mean you have to dump the person,” he explains. “But new love can blind us from people’s faults. Maybe your friends think you’re not being treated well enough, or that your new partner could improve their behavior in some way.”

Diana Dorell, intuitive dating coach and author of The Dating Mirror: Trust Again, Love Again, tells Elite Daily there’s a good chance you may not like what they have to say. After all, who wants to hear negative things about someone they like? However, Dorell says it’s important to keep an open mind and try not to be be defensive until you’ve heard them out. “Find out why your friends don’t like your new [partner] — come from a space of receptivity and listen, even though it may seem really hard to listen objectively,” she advises.

3. REMEMBER HOW YOU MAY BE CONTRIBUTING TO THE WAY YOUR FRIENDS FEEL ABOUT THEM.

If you’re not sure why your friends don’t like the person you’re dating, Gordon says to consider if you’ve had a role in shaping their perception of them. “Remember that sometimes, the reason friends don’t like your partner is because you vent to them a lot anytime you have an argument with your partner, or anytime your partner does something that bothers you,” she explains. “This can paint an negative picture of your partner in your friends’ minds, and if you don’t want to do that, be sure to remember to talk about your partner’s good qualities when discussing him or her to your friends as well.”

4. REMEMBER TO TREAT YOUR FRIENDS WITH LOVE AND RESPECT.

It can be frustrating when your friends don’t like the person you’re dating, but Barrett says it’s important to remember that your relationship with them is also important, and that they likely have your best interests at heart. “You want to guard against feeling defensive or angry, which can hurt your friendships. Rather, be grateful that your BFFs are looking out for you,” explains Barrett. “Part of the deal of having close friends is receiving advice and feedback about your dating life. Even if you don’t agree with them, they mean well. Don’t let resentment creep in. It will only hurt your friendships,” he warns.

5. REMEMBER TO ALWAYS CONSIDER THE SOURCE.

While ideally your friends’ issues with the person you’re dating are coming from a good place, friendships can be complicated, so Dorrell warns you take the source into consideration. “Friends who have issues with the person may be coming from a place of envy or jealousy and you can have a conversation with them about why specifically they don’t like the person,” she suggests. “That could give them space to share and also for you to see if their comments are coming from a warranted space.”

6. REMEMBER TO TRUST YOUR GUT.

Ultimately, Gordon says the most important thing is to trust your own instincts — they are your best guides in this situation. “If you know in your heart that you are head-over-heels for your partner, don’t let the opinions of friends sway you. Don’t let them get in your head, because you shouldn’t let anyone interfere with your relationship or with your feelings,” she says.

Hopefully, you’ll never be in a situation were you find yourself stuck between your friends and the person you’re dating. If you do, however, Barrett closes with a final bit of advice: “Be respectful of [your friends’] feelings and understand that their misgivings are coming from a good place. At the same time, you can’t live your life according to their blueprint for you. You have to follow your own path.”

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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California Dreamin’ – 1982 to 1984 – Arielle – Part 1

NSFW! Do Not Read this one at Work. It’s Filthy but all true!

Here’s a memory from Cali I absolutely love. Here I am in my band Haightwayten, rocking out whenever we can on the strip, and just living the dream in L.A. in the early eighties. I was working as a cashier and then they taught me how to be a cook at a really cool bar and grill in Santa Monica.

I couldn’t make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before I moved out of my parents house in ’82 but I learned so much going out in the world. I found that I loved to cook and have become and expert at cooking dinner for anybody I care about in my life.

When I got divorced from my wife in 2001 the one things she said she’d miss was my cooking.

She married another guy that was also deadly behind the grill but she destroyed that relationship too and now he’s back in Phoenix Az and hopefully happy to be away from her.

Anyway… It was 1982, and I was living in Santa Monica and rocking out and doing my thing. A friend of mine from the restaurant I worked for asked if I’d house sit for them while they were away in Vegas.

I of course agreed and it was easy money for me and I could just hang at their place in Brentwood for a week. Their house was gorgeous and I was honored that they trusted me with their place. They had a pool and I figured I could just hang and play guitar and work on songs while I was there.

I was sitting by the pool one day, just chilling. I was I think 19 at the time. I was just jamming on the acoustic and sipping a margarita.

The pool area was super private. As it should be. The place is secured and nobody is coming to see anybody in the pool area.

I was just soaking up the California rays and chilling when a pretty girl entered the heavely fenced area. She opened the gate cautiously and was surprised to see not the owners but a lean, blonde long haired guitarist sitting on one of the lounge chairs banging out some chords.

I wasn’t expecting anyone, so I was naturally surprised. I just wanted to drink, jam, and take a few dips in the pool to kill time. It actually felt good to be away from the band to be alone and create some new songs.

Well apparently their neighbor Arielle always came over and got to use their pool. She was surprised to see the tan shaggy haired guitar player sitting by the pool instead of her neighbors.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

“Who are you?”

“Umm… I’m Arielle. I live next door. The Williams let me swim in their pool. I’m sorry is it okay?”

“I’m Chaz. I work with Shane at Merlin’s. They’re in Vegas this weekend and asked that I hang here.

She approached me. I don’t know how old this girl was when this all transpired. Arielle was only a bit over 5 feet tall. Dark hair, tan and very petite and fit. She was lovely. I feel that I should leave age out of this because it was 40 years ago, and I still don’t remember because I was a kid at the time when I think about it.

Maybe 16 or 17.  But I don’t remember. It was a long time ago.

“Well it’s nice to meet you, Chaz. They let me swim in their pool whenever I want. Is that okay today. Cause if it’s not I get it.”

“No go ahead.”

She was smoking hot and I don’t give a shit. It’s not my pool and I get to jam on my guitar and just met this baby.

Arielle placed her towel down and quickly jumped into the pool. I watched her out of the corner of my eye as she swam back and forth and dove in and out of the pool. After a little while Arielle got out and laid down on her towel to to work on her tan. She was already nice and tan from her summer of swimming.

I looked at her carefully as she laid on her stomach with her head turned to the side. I examined every inch of her body. Her cute little toes and her nice tan muscular legs. Her butt was nice and round and her chest was pressed against the pool deck with her hair laying across her back and neck.

At 19 and being the fucker I was back then I decided to run the program.

“Did you put any sunscreen on Arielle?” I asked her. “No I couldn’t find some” she replied, and added “My parents went out of town for the weekend” and I think they took it with them. My mind began to work overtime as I imagined this sweet young girl left without any adult supervision.

“I have some here if you want to use it” I offered as I walked over to her. “Thanks” she replied. Taking it from my hands. She put some on her hands and then I offered to help her out. “Can I help you and get your back?”

“Yes” she replied.

 

 

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If You’re Going To Start Dating Someone You Have History With, Remember These 4 Things

Dating is complicated enough when you’re getting to know someone new. Now add in the fact that you’ve had some history the person you’re dating, and it gets even more interesting. Whether you hooked up a few times back in college or went on a date years ago, your previous experiences together are bound to come into play as you enter this new phase of your relationship. So, if you start dating someone you have history with, there are certain things you’ll want to keep in mind.

When you have a history with someone, there’s a degree of understanding between you. That means that hopefully, you can relax a bit on those early dates and just be yourself. As an added bonus, there may be no need for awkward small talk because chances are, you already know a bit about each other. On top of that, you may find that there’s a sense of trust with this person. However, if you had kind of a rocky past, you may also have some lingering feelings of awkwardness or regret that can leak into your new relationship.

Dating someone you have history with definitely has its pros and cons. But as long as you’re aware of all the potential perks and pitfalls, you can embark on this new chapter together with confidence. Here are some things to keep in mind, depending on what kind of history you have together.

IF YOU WENT ON A DATE OR TWO

Lauren Naefe/Stocksy

Maybe you went on one date months back, and despite the fact that it was hilariously horrible, you’ve decided to give it another shot. Maybe you went on a few dates that were mediocre, and there simply wasn’t enough of a spark to see it through. Regardless, if you’ve already been on a date or three with your new bae, don’t get too caught up in why it didn’t work out last time around.

Timing is everything in relationships, and perhaps there were certain factors impacting your compatibility that are no longer in play anymore. For example, one of you may still have been hung up on an ex or stressed out with work. The important thing is that now, you’re both interested in giving this connection a real shot. While you can certainly use what you already learned about your crush on previous dates to your advantage, try to approach this new relationship with as much of a clean slate as you can muster. The important thing is not why it didn’t work out before, but rather, why it is working now.

IF YOU HAD AN OFF-LIMITS CRUSH

VICTOR TORRES/Stocksy

So, you used to have a crush on bae when they had a girlfriend. Or perhaps you were lusting after them while you were coworkers on a tight-knit team at your company. Basically, your new boo used to be off limits for some reason. But for whatever reason, they aren’t anymore. First off, congrats! There’s nothing more satisfying than finally going out with someone you’ve been fantasizing for basically forever — especially when there’s no longer anything holding you back or causing you any guilt or shame about it.

Speaking of which, a crucial thing to work on in this scenario is avoiding holding on to those negative emotions that you attached to your initial crush. You may still have lingering awkward feelings from when you were crushing hard on this person and they weren’t available to you. If you continue to associate those feelings with your bond, they may end up taking a toll on this new relationship. In order to let go of them, it may help to hash them out with your boo. Openly admitting to them that you used to like them back when they were your manager at the office, or dating an acquaintance of yours, may give you a sense of relief, and odds are they’ll be flattered. In fact, you may be surprised to learn that the feelings were mutual. Then, you can focus on your future together rather than getting stuck on any “forbidden fruit” vibes from the past.

IF THEY WERE A FWB

ADDICTIVE CREATIVES/Stocksy

Ah, the FWB relationship. For some, no-strings-attached sex with a trusted friend is ideal at certain points in life — like when you’re super swamped with work or just out of a relationship, and can’t handle anything serious. There’s definitely nothing wrong with having a FWB. But what happens when that person becomes your full-on bae down the line?

There are plenty of perks to this scenario. For one, you already have established a friendship, so you probably have a solid sense of trust, quality communication, and emotional safety, between the two of you. Plus, you’ve already hooked up, so you already know the sexual chemistry is there. All of those things are pretty critical in a relationship, so basically, you have a head start. However, transitioning into a relationship does require some special considerations. The key here is to set some new expectations and boundaries so that you don’t slip back into your FWB ways. What will change now that you’re in a committed relationship together? What will make you both feel secure as you enter this new phase? Openly sharing your needs, wants and concerns will ensure that you and your boo are on the same page. And as a result, that will help to minimize the chances that either of you gets unnecessarily hurt.

IF YOU HAD A ONE-NIGHT STAND

Marc Bordons/Stocksy

Whether you met at a bar, on an app, or at your bestie’s house party, if you had a one-night stand or a few random hookups with the person you’re starting to date, that can certainly add a unique layer to your relationship. After all, you’ve already seen each other naked. Maybe you’ve even managed to help each other cross the finish line (*fingers crossed*). But now that you’re pursuing a relationship with this person, you may have some nagging feelings of awkwardness. Will they remember what your “O face” looked like? Is it weird that you’re going on a first date with someone that you’ve already slept with? While I can’t answer the first question, I can clear up the second: No. There’s nothing strange about turning a casual hookup into a relationship. In fact, people do it all the time.

One thing to remember is that you’ve already established that you have sexual chemistry. So now, it’s time to explore whether you have a genuine intellectual and emotional connection. As such, it’s a good idea to plan real dates in the beginning — you know, the kind where you go out in public and experience new things together. These experiences will spark meaningful conversations, and those convos will offer up new insight into your compatibility outside of the bedroom. That’s not to say you have to wait to hook up with your potential bae. It’s up to you when you decide to get frisky again, and there’s no right or wrong timeline where that’s concerned. However, it’s important to make an effort to get to know each other in different contexts as well. That way, you can ensure that your budding relationship has a strong foundation that doesn’t solely depend on mind-blowing sex (not to minimize the value of that factor).

Having a history with someone can also muddle your feelings a bit. Depending on your previous experiences with this person, you may feel like you fall faster for them than you normally would, or conversely, like you’re guarding your heart more carefully. Remember — your history can actually prove to be beneficial to this new relationship you’re pursuing. As long as you maintain open communication about your feelings, set clear expectations with each other, and focus on building on the foundation you’ve already established, you’re primed to ensure that your past together only has a positive impact on your present.

 

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Sun Stories: Summer – Astonished – Part 3 – Update

 

UPDATE: They’ve run a battery of tests on Summer and the baby. They have determined that the child is fine and there are no problems that they can see. So that’s wonderful news for now.

Summer is a straight A student, but hates to do all the homework they assign the students. She simply pays someone else to do it, then goes in and crushes the exams.

Leave it to this bright, cunning, lovable, repugnant, remorseless girl dodge 9 months of pregnancy. She’s having the baby in 3 months. She’s been pregnant for 6 months. So to her since she found out, she’ll only have to stay sober for 3 months in stead of 9 because 6 of those months are behind her. So to her it feels like a 3 month pregnancy and then boom, baby.

When her father heard the news that the child seemed perfectly healthy, he said “My daughter’s got an Iron Placenta.” (Sounds like a good name for a Death Metal band)

Her mother is already super excited to be a grandmother at 47. These people are rich, that child isn’t going to want for anything. I just pray that it’s okay health and developmentally in it’s formative years.

 

Oh, by the way… It’s a boy.

 

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Another Life – Chapter 24

https://lapetitemort17.wordpress.com/?p=432

 

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If You’re Going To Start Dating Someone New, Remember These 5 Things

So, you’ve gone on a handful of dates, and you’re pretty sure you found your person. Your besties are getting a little bored of hearing you gush about them, but TBH, you could care less — right now, the possibilities are endless for your budding romance, and you couldn’t be more excited. If you’re going to start dating someone new, note that there will likely be a whirlwind of emotions that can feel thrilling and perhaps a tad terrifying all at once. Before you get caught up in all the confusing feels, there are certain things you should keep in mind in order to keep both feet firmly planted on the ground.

One of the most important things to remember while you’re getting to know your new boo is to have fun. After all, this is one of the most exhilarating phases of your relationship. Every single experience you share and story you tell is totally new to both of you. You have so many firsts to look forward to together — from cooking a meal and cheering on your favorite sports team to hosting a party and hitting up a farmer’s market. It can be easy to get overwhelmed with nerves or obsessing about the future. But it’s oh so important to stay in the moment as much as possible because you can’t get these first few months back, and they’re bound to be brimming with memorable moments.

Here are some other things you’ll want to remember, too, in order to ensure that your relationship is off to a rock solid start.

NEW RELATIONSHIP ANXIETY IS REAL.

Sergey Filiminov/Stocksy

Currently, I’m very grateful to be in a secure, healthy relationship. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have some major anxiety in the early stages of dating my current boyfriend. I felt as if I was continually waiting for the other shoe to drop — and as such, I was hyper-alert to any possible sign that our relationship was going to end. If he was annoyed or upset about something, I immediately feared it was over. It was nothing short of exhausting. As it turns out, this new relationship anxiety is so real, and lots of people let their fear of abandonment creep in. Not only does this take a toll on your mental health, but it can also put a strain on the relationship.

Remember: It’s totally normal to be a little nervous when you’re dating someone new. Particularly if your feelings are very strong, you may feel a bit paranoid that it’s “too good to be true.” It’s good to acknowledge these fears, and even talk them out. But giving in to them slowly strips away your happiness, and your ability to totally open your heart to your new boo with reckless abandon. Try to keep in mind that whatever is meant to be, will be. Anxiety isn’t really productive, because it’s a fear around something that hasn’t even happened yet. Focus on being present rather than worrying about what’s down the road, and your relationship will blossom to its full potential.

KEEP THE PAST IN THE PAST.

Lauren Naefe/Stocksy

We all have baggage. Whether you’ve only dated one person for a few months or you’ve had three long-term relationships, there’s no doubt that your previous experiences can shape everything from how easily you trust your new boo, to whether you’re skittish about saying “I love you.” Here’s the thing, however. It’s super important to make an effort to leave the past in the past. Every person, and therefore every relationship is unique. So, while it may be tempting to compare your new partner to your ex, it doesn’t do either of you any good. Additionally, it’s easy to start jumping to conclusions based on an ex’s behavior, but that isn’t fair to bae. They’re a different person, and they deserve the benefit of the doubt.

To clarify, you shouldn’t forget about the past — in fact, it’s safe to say that’s straight-up impossible. But if you catch yourself starting to draw comparisons to your ex or letting your past experiences affect your new relationship, it’s time to work on carving out a clean slate.

BE ALERT TO RED FLAGS.

Viktor Solomin/Stocksy

It’s super easy to get a bit blinded by love in those first few months of your relationship. When you’re falling for someone, there’s a rush of neurochemicals in your brain that make you feel something akin to an addiction to your newfound boo. As such, you’re laser-focused on all of their positive traits, so it can be slightly more difficult to recognize red flags. That’s why it can be helpful to identify a few dealbreakers that you can stay alert to, and check in with trusted friends or family members for their unbiased opinion if something feels “off.”

For example, if you know you need a certain amount of space and your new boo doesn’t seem to be respecting your boundaries, that’s something to pay attention to. Or, if you caught your partner snooping in your phone or lying about their whereabouts, those are behaviors that you definitely shouldn’t ignore. None of these issues necessarily warrant ending your relationship. The point is, it can be tempting to look the other way or minimize these kinds of problems when you’re in a new relationship because your excitement and happiness are so overwhelming that it drowns out your internal alert system. Make it a point to have those tough conversations if your new boo is doing something that bothers you — doing so will actually strengthen your bond and ultimately allow you to have a healthier foundation for your relationship. Most importantly, remember to trust your gut instincts. If something doesn’t feel right to you, that’s all you need to know.

DON’T FALL INTO THE SOCIAL MEDIA STALKING TRAP.

VISUALSPECTRUM/Stocksy

There’s so much to learn about someone when you’re just starting to date them. Social media, unfortunately, makes it all too easy to gather information about your new SO. But before you start eagerly clicking around their Instagram feed, Twitter history, and Facebook albums, try to exercise some self-control.

First off, it’ll likely be slightly embarrassing when you let it slip that you already know all of their sibling names and their high school football uniform number (woof). Secondly, you may actually jump to some inaccurate conclusions based on the information you find. For example, when you stumble upon pics of them with their ex, you may start making assumptions about their relationship that can trigger some serious insecurities about your own. You don’t need that right now. You should be focusing your energy on the bond you’re building, not one that your boo had five years ago.

One of the best parts about dating someone new is slowly getting to know them — all of their hopes, fears, goals, and life experiences. So, give your partner the chance to share that information on their terms, in their own time, rather than trying to play sleuth. Trust me: It’ll be more rewarding to hear about all of these things from them, anyway.

DON’T LOSE YOURSELF.

Jennifer Brister/Stocksy

In a new relationship, it’s totally normal to feel like you want to spend every waking moment with bae. But it’s crucial to keep up with your own interests, hobbies, and friendships, as well. Not only does this help to mitigate some of that aforementioned anxiety, because you’re not putting as much pressure on your new relationship, but it also ensures you maintain some of your independence, and that’s key to a healthy bond.

If fitness is a big part of your life, keep up with those classes on a weekly basis. If you had made it a point to practice playing guitar every day before you starting dating your current boo, don’t neglect that just because you’re in a relationship now. Having these kinds of outlets will help to strengthen your sense of self-esteem and identity, which will ultimately make you a better partner in the long run.

Without a doubt, diving headfirst into a new relationship is one of the most invigorating human experiences you can have. And here’s one more thing to keep in mind: You deserve every ounce of this nauseating bliss — particularly if you’ve experienced some heartbreak and hurt in the past. Embarking on a fresh start with someone new allows you to re-shape your perspective on romance, learn new things about yourself, and grow as an individual. So, trust the process, stay true to yourself, and try to enjoy the ride.

 

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