Dating and Relationship Advice – Dating Etiquette for the 21st Century

Dating etiquette can be one of the most difficult things to follow. It’s complicated because you’re working so hard to impress another individual whom you know very little about. Dating over the decades has changed tremendously, especially since women have become more liberated, and the age-old traditions of men as “knights in shining armor” have gone to the proverbial wayside. Today’s rules of dating etiquette should focus more on being polite, respectful, and yet, perhaps a little assertive to one another.

The dating arena has changed drastically in many ways. One obvious way dating has changed is because of the substantial reliance upon the internet as a means to meet new people. Dating web sites have popped up all over the internet, creating an entirely new genre of dating do’s and don’ts for the men and women who use them. There are even so called “speed dating” gatherings where an entire slew of single individuals meet at one time in a specific location. A game of dating roundtables ensues as single men and women switch partners after a certain amount of time together. The idea is to allow you the chance to meet and be introduced to a large number of single people in one setting, hoping that one of those individuals will be “the one.”

Whether you’re meeting someone face-to-face at a speed dating session, or through surfing various dating web sites, it’s important you employ some means of dating etiquette. Doing so not only will help you find someone you feel is compatible with your personality, but you’ll also set a precedent for what the relationship will be like as the two of you get to know each other better over time.

Never Be Rude
Your mother had it right when she told you that rudeness will get you nowhere. Being polite to another individual spans across a sea of social interactions. You never disrespect your elders, talk back to your parents or fail to show your boss common courtesy. The same actions should be heeded when it comes to dating etiquette. The no-brainer about dating is to be polite and respectful of the person you’re meeting. This means pay attention to what the person says when they talk, and give them good eye contact.

Probably the biggest no-no when it comes to dating etiquette is to bring up your past relationships and sexual experiences with someone whom you’ve just been introduced. There’s nothing more unpleasant than to hear someone else’s sob story or sexual liaison, and the date will end before it ever really began. The best alternative is to leave extremely personal information on the back burner until you both feel comfortable enough to talk about it, or an appropriate situation arises.

Don’t stand someone up, ever. If you can’t make the date, you need to call the person and explain the situation. If it’s impossible to reach them by phone, then you need to go ahead and meet them at the specific time and explain why you can’t stay. This will not only save you from hateful e-mails or phone calls about having absolutely no standards, but you’ll avoid burning any bridges in regards to future meetings.

Another way to avoid rudeness when it comes to dating etiquette is to refrain from using vulgar words or phrases in front of your date. Unless they instigate that kind of verbiage, it’s wise to keep vulgar words to yourself for the time being. Perhaps down the road, as you two know each other better, you can relax a bit with what and how you say something. Being overly obnoxious or opinionated can also be viewed as rude by someone who doesn’t know you well, thus leading to a crash-and-burn situation where you never meet again. For the first few dates, test the waters and learn what the other person’s opinions and views are before you start spouting off your latest manifesto about life.

Knowing the Rules
Thanks to the onslaught of Internet dating sites and women’s liberation, dating etiquette on who does what has changed significantly. This is especially true when it comes to paying for a date. When your parents dated, it was an unspoken rule that the man would always foot the bill for dinner and entertainment. But today, things have changed somewhat. With women earning six figure salaries, picking up the tab is not necessarily the responsibility of men.

In a 2018 online editorial for The Morning News, Margaret Berry explains the rules on deciding who pays for what. Her suggestion is that whoever instigates the date, whether it is the man or the woman, should foot the bill. When it comes to a situation where you’re not sure about who should pay, then it is the guy who picks up the bill. But the woman will still pull her part by either cooking dinner or paying for some other form of entertainment for the next date, such as concert tickets or movie passes.

In this same editorial, Berry mentions the phone call situation of dating etiquette. This tip is pretty straightforward for anyone, and it’s to not repeatedly call or text the person after you make your initial contact. If you call someone, and they don’t call you back, then take it as a sign they aren’t really interested in getting together again. The same trick goes for e-mails. Make your initial contact with them, and then wait for a response. If you don’t get one, chuck it up as a good try and go on with your business.

Another rule of thumb to remember is to not flaunt extravagance in front of someone else. This could possibly be one of the most intimidating and annoying behaviors people display on a date. It goes back to the old adage that “it’s what’s inside that counts.” There is a lot of truth to this statement because elegant restaurants and high dollar gifts are nice, but personalities have to mesh before a relationship can have any substance.

Online Dating
In today’s Internet-savvy world, it would be a disservice to avoid talking a little about dating etiquette online. Kimberly Dawn Neumann provides answers to questions regarding online dating in her editorial for Match.com, an online dating web site. Apparently, the world of meeting someone through the Internet has a few different guidelines than more traditional dating measures.

First off, Neumann explains that online dating etiquette does not require you to respond to someone’s e-mail request to meet you. Unlike in face-to-face meetings, the silent treatment is actually a feasible way to handle this type of situation. But it changes when you have met the person physically. If, after meeting this individual, you decide there’s absolutely no chemistry between you two, then Neumann says it is necessary to respond to their request for a second date with a “no thank you, I’m not interested” message (www.match.com).

After you’ve met someone online, have dated them for a few times, and think the relationship will go further, online dating etiquette gives you the thumbs up for asking more personal questions. You can dig a little deeper and ask about where the person works, where they live or even about previous relationships. On the other hand, if you’ve dated someone several times and feel you no longer want to continue the relationship, then sending them a “so long” via e-mail is perfectly acceptable. Neumann says the only occasion where a face-to-face confrontation should take place to end the relationship is if you have been intimate with the person.

Finally, there comes the issue of when to take your online profile down after you’ve been in a relationship with someone you met online. When it comes to this situation, the best thing to do is decide together when the profiles should be eliminated. This will determine how serious the relationship is, and whether or not you both feel it will go further. If things are still in the beginning stages, then perhaps it would be wise to leave your profile up longer, just in case things don’t work out.

Dating etiquette has morphed over the decades as a way to comply with the modern traditions and standards of men and women in today’s dating world. With the introduction of so many avenues for finding single people, it’s perfectly acceptable to have traditions ebb and flow to meet the needs of modern society. But the bottom line with any rules and traditions regarding dating is to always be yourself, and remember the golden rule: “treat others as you would like to be treated.”

Are You a Dating Do or Don’t?

Some guys don’t pay on the first date while others forget to open doors. When it comes to dating, times sure have changed, and with that, a new crop of dating dilemmas has emerged. But no matter what year it is, some dating rules should stand the test of time. Which ones are you forgetting?
I hope this was helpful. I’d love to hear your feedback on this subject.

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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Dating and Relationship Advice – Five Legitimate Reasons Why Marriage Should Be Abolished

When you are young and free, the summer is a time to be off school, travel, and lament that you aren’t beach-body ready. But once you get a bit older, summer means one thing: Wedding season. Just, so many goddamn weddings. Whether it’s traveling to a destination wedding, sitting through an hour-long mass, or just hanging out in someone’s backyard, you are expected to be there, smile, and bring a gravy boat for the happy couple that will undoubtedly never be used.

But … what if we just got rid of the institution all together? Don’t worry, I’m not some bitter spinster, I’ve been happily married for ten years. But bear with me here, because for millennials, it might make more sense to just stop getting married once and for all. Here’s why.
1. Society Is Failing At It
Let’s say you’re in high school and you really, really suck at math. You never get better than a D on any of your tests. But you decide you want to study math in college. Then you want to go on and get a master’s degree, and even a PhD. Everyone around you is trying to talk you out of it: your friends, your parents, your creepy guidance counselor that keeps touching your knee. But you are insistent. How crazy would that be? Now pretend math is actually marriage. Because society is totally failing at it, yet we keep trying to make it work.

The divorce rate in America is estimated to be between 40 and 50 percent. For millennials, it might end up being even worse thanks to all the divorces our parents went through. If your parents got divorced, you are up to 60 percent more likely to get divorced yourself. It’s called “intergenerational transmission of divorce,” and it means that your parents pass on divorce to their kids just like they do other terrible things like heart disease or ginger hair.

Then there are the infamous “starter marriages.” These are marriages between people in their 20s that usually last less than five years and don’t involve children. The problem with these is that getting divorced once means you will probably divorce again. 67 percent of second marriages and 73 percent of third marriages end in divorce. A recent survey of millennials found that 43 percent of them would like a starter marriage that could be either “renewed” or easily dissolved after two years. 36 percent thought that marriage licenses should be treated like mortgages, on fixed year terms that have to be “renegotiated” once they run out. If this is how we really think marriage should be approached, why have it at all? Why not just live together for as long as you want, and if you break up there is no legal aspect involved?
2. It Fixes Some Legal Issues With Other Types of Relationships
Remember way back in the hot summer of 2015, when it seemed like Obama would be president forever and gay people finally got the right to get married? It was the end of a decades-long slog toward equality, and there was every chance it wouldn’t happen. Until the decision was released, people still thought the five conservative judges might block marriage equality. Fortunately, one of them flipped. But it is easy to forget just how long and hard the fight was, and how close it came to not happening.

Within hours of the decision, think pieces appeared on the “next logical step”: legalizing polygamy. Now, we’re not talking about weird old guys in cults forcing dozens of underage girls to marry them. This is about three or more consenting adults who want to be, for lack of a better word, a couple. Is there really anything wrong with that? If there is anyone out there who loves to cook and clean and maybe knows how to fix cars, I would gladly welcome you into my marriage. In 2015, only 16 percent of people found polygamy “morally acceptable” but that was more than double the 7 percent who thought so in 2001. But it will be another long hill to climb before any case on polygamy gets to the Supreme Court. The simplest way to fix this? Take the legal aspect of marriage out of the picture entirely.

This will work for millennials as well, who are more likely to be in polyamorous relationships than any other group. According to one poll, only 51 percent of people under 30 say that their perfect relationship would be completely monogamous. This is compared to the 70 percent of people over 65 who only want to bump uglies with one person at a time. If we get rid of marriage, millennials can form lasting relationships with any number of people and have them all be equally important.

3. It Ends The Wedding-Industrial Complex

You can’t spend an hour online without finding some millennial talking about the unfairness of student debt. And they’re right, it sucks to start adulthood with negative money if panhandling wasn’t your dream in life. Now that you’ve graduated, you’re right in the sweet spot, age wise, for marriage. Time to bust out the calculator.

According to a survey of 13,000 brides and grooms who got married in 2016, the average American wedding now costs over $35,000. That doesn’t even include costs like the engagement ring, the honeymoon, and the interest you will be paying for years. And sure, some people’s parents pay for their big day, but not everyone is that lucky, which is why a full one-third of couples go into debt to pay for their wedding.

That is worse than it sounds. Money is the biggest cause of stress in a marriage. According to a study of 4,500 couples, money arguments last longer and are more intense than fights over anything else. And if you fight about money issues early on in your marriage, the same study shows you are more likely to end up divorced. One older study found that 10 percent of people broke up mainly because of financial problems, and a whopping 57 percent said it was a primary cause of their divorce. Suddenly that $35,000 party you put on your credit cards isn’t looking like such a brilliant idea.

Look, I get it. Women especially are conditioned to want the big day. I used to buy wedding magazines with my friends and have fun imagining. If you are madly in love with someone you want to show everyone just how huge your love is by proving it with an even bigger wedding. But why do we need to prove anything? If you love someone and are a happy, functional couple, you are proving how committed you are to everyone already. We don’t need weddings to do that. You don’t need to put yourself at the risk of divorce if you never spend the money and never even get married. You can still stay together as long as you want, and have an even better chance of lasting if you don’t start off with money issues and fights about whether or not you invite your fiance’s racist uncle.

4. We’re Already Putting It Off Longer Than Ever

Marriage ages for millennials is already higher than any other generation. These days the average woman gets married at 26.5 and the average man at 29. But that is just the average. In some places, as many as 81 percent of young people are single.

And this might not change much according to one study. The researchers determined that unless marriage rates changed drastically in the near future, up to one-third of millennials will never get married. And those that do find it less important than other generations. Gone is the time where you had to be married to live with someone, or even have a kid with them.

Millennials are putting off marriage for lots of reasons. Some have no money to pay for a wedding (see the wedding-industrial complex above.) Some want to be able to own a house. Others want to live with a partner for a few years first. That might all sound fine, but there are dangers if marriage is still your final goal. Living with someone prior to getting hitched makes you 8 percent more likely to get divorced than people who don’t. And if you put off marriage for too long the same thing happens. Your risk of divorce rises by 5 percent for every year you wait after 32. You know how to avoid divorce? Don’t get married. If we are putting it off for so long already, and so many people will end up single anyway, why not just end the institution once and for all?

5. It Might Be The Natural Way

Thanks to Marilyn Monroe everyone knows about the supposed seven-year itch. But surely that was just made up for a movie, right? No way does everyone want to cheat on their spouses after being tied down for less than a decade.

Wrong. It just takes even less time than seven years. One study looked at animals and found that many of them are serial monogamists. They stay with one partner just long enough to have and raise their children, and then once they fly the nest (in some cases literally) they move on to another mate. Then the same researcher looked at humans and found that in more primitive societies, the same thing often happens. Once a child is four, and is weaned and old enough to be looked after by older siblings or grandparents, the parents move on and find new partners. Biologically, this is a good thing, since having children with different genetic makeups means at least one is likely to be healthy enough to make it to adulthood.

And our biological urge to split up after four years carries over into more advanced civilizations. The study found that four years is peak divorce time for couples. Something about that time makes us want to run off and find a heartier mate. So why tie ourselves down for life when our biology might be telling us to end things much, much sooner? We could take the idea of the starter marriage, get rid of the legal aspect, and expand it throughout our lives. You could find one person to party with in your twenties, then someone more responsible to have kids with, and finally someone fun and financially stable to enjoy your retirement with. It won’t be slutty if we all start doing it.

When you think about it, no other area of life expects you to stay in it forever. Friendships come and go, as do jobs. Why are we expected to legally bind ourselves to one person for life? No one should have to smell the same person’s farts for that long.

I hope this was helpful. I’d love to hear your feedback on this subject.

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish everyday at 8am & 12pm EST.

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Sun Stories: Sasha – Chapter 1 – My Number 1

Sasha came in and signed up one night when I wasn’t working. The college girl, Summer who works the nights I don’t did the intake on Sasha. (See: Summer – Night Shift Girl) A couple of days later Sasha strolls in to tan while I’m working and I thought my eyes would pop out of my head. Here is this slender stunner. Lovely raven hair and perfect features. Shapley legs and small bust. (Love that girlish figure)

So of course I’m chatting her up and placing her onto my mental list of favorite women who come into the salon. She’s definitely Top 5.

I originally entitled this piece “I love you” because this is a classic example of what inspired this blog. I’m always “falling in love” with women on a daily basis. All they have to be is cute and sweet. So it’s not really love. It’s just desire, and lust. (I changed the title because I don’t really love her.)

I love my girlfriend Cherie, not any of these hot chicks. They’re just little treats that swim in and out of my daily life. But I’m tantalized by them all and love the attention and thrill I get when I see them. There’s always new ones and ones that disappear and reappear throughout the season. It’s fun!

One day I come in to start my shift and Achilles says that some woman named Sasha left her watch in the room after she was finished her session. He said the watch was in the drawer under the counter and if she comes in, give it back to her.

He leaves and I open the drawer. I want to see what kind of watch it is.

Kate Spade. Conservative. Cute. I like holding a piece of Sasha’s jewelry in my hands. I grab one of our little towels and clean it up a bit and place it back in the drawer. Then I go one better. I call Sasha.

“Hello?”

“Hey Sasha, this is Charles calling from the tanning salon. You left your watch here.”

“Oh my God! Thank you! I couldn’t imagine where I left it! Thank you, Charles. I’ll be in tonight to get it. Thank you again!”

“No worries. I’m just happy we found it. See you later.”

 

I get a rush of joy that I was the one who got to call Sasha. It’s now as if I found the watch. I also liked hearing her use my name on the phone. Say my name, Sweet Sasha!

Later, when the salon is busy and I’m chatting with some of the ladies in the waiting area. We’re all laughing and giggling at something I said.

Sasha walks in. I announce her, and say: “…And here’s another thing I love doing. Giving jewelry to pretty ladies!”

I pull out the watch from the drawer and place it into Sasha’s dainty hands. So now there’s a connection. She thinks I’m the hero who found and returned her watch. It was always great seeing her lovely, elegant visage and chatting with this beautiful girl.

With great rapidity Sasha had moved from Top 5 to #1 .

But sadly, after a few months of tanning Sasha let us know that she was taking a break from tanning for a bit. We were sad that we wouldn’t see her anymore. (Even my co-worker, Summer likes Sasha and she hates nearly everyone.)

It’s been a few months now. I’m working at the salon last night when the phone rings. I answer in my usual upbeat, professional greeting.

“Hey Charles, it’s Sasha.”

I reply with surprise and delight using her full name. I’m delighted that she called. (Dopamine dropping!)

“How are you, Sasha?”

“I’m great! I’m thinking about coming back to do tanning again.”

“Wonderful. We’ve all missed you and would love you to return to our fine salon.”

“Can I still get that deal you offered me when last we spoke?”

“Whatever you want, the answer is yes!”

“Great. I’ll see you tomorrow, Charles.”

“See you then!”

Sooo….. my love is returning to me at last! Can’t wait to see her! Thank goodness I asked Summer to take her Saturday shift yesterday. I had nothing going on and figured why not be busy and make a few bucks? Can’t wait to see her!

She came in Sunday! So beautiful!

I was so happy to see her again. My baby is back!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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Dating and Relationship Advice – 10 Phrases Men Say When They’re In Love

We all know that men and women are different. However, there is a belief that men are less expressive and verbal in comparison to women. Believe us, that is a wrong belief. It all depends on what type of person you are and your level of socialization.

Most men are straightforward, as they don’t like give eye signals and hints. That’s why it can be very hard to understand what men mean what they say something. How to understand men?

In this article, I’ll try you to help learn to read between the lines to understand men. Here are ten phrases men can say when they fall in love.

 

#1. “I noticed you.”

A man can use this phrase to show that he likes you. If a man notices small things you do every day, it means he’s interested in you.

 

#2. “Can I help you?”

If a man asks for help, he wants you to need him. A man won’t ask random women to help, as it’s a sign that he like her.

 

#3. “This reminded me of you.”

This phrase is a sign that a man was thinking about you, but he’s afraid to show his love.

 

#4. “What are you doing? Where are you?”

If a man wants to know what you usually do and where you are, he probably can’t stop thinking about you . When a man is in love, he’ll try to get to know you better.

 

#5. “You look amazing!”

If a man gives you a compliment, he thinks that you’re attractive. If he compliments you often, he is trying to show that he likes you.

 

#6. “I will be there for you.”

No one will make this promise unless they have interest in you. This phrase means that a man has deep feelings for you and he wants to take care of you.

 

#7. “I miss you.”

Most men are afraid to say this phrase, as they don’t want to seem weak. But if a man voices this phrase out, he’s certainly serious about you.

 

#8. “I worry about you.”

It’s very difficult for men to accept their emotions . So if he’s trying to calm you down, when you’re upset, he definitely likes you.

 

#9. “I was talking to mom.”

Most men don’t like talking about their families. So if a man mentions his family, he’s interested in you.

 

#10. He gives you nicknames.

If a man gives you cute or funny nickname, he’s crazy about you.

 

As you see, it’s not so difficult to understand men’s words. If a man says to you some of these phrases, he definitely likes you!

 

I want everyone to know and experience true love. It’s out there for everyone and until it knocks on your door I’m here to remind you that you deserve the best love!

You can help us spread this love by sharing this with those around you and letting me know what you think in the comments below.

 

I hope this was helpful. I’d love to hear your feedback on this subject.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am & 12pm EST.

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Dating and Relationship Advice – Rules and Etiquette When Dating

  1. Do NOT mention your EX on a date. Just.. just don’t. Don’t talk about how annoying he/she was or show pictures. It’s inappropriate and very stupid!
  2. Don’t get too personal. You want to leave a little bit of mystery and you also don’t want to overwhelm the other person. I’ve heard of guys that said they were addicted to drugs & gambling, I’ve had guys admit they were drug dealers. Just no.
  3. Don’t be on your phone the whole time.
  4. Don’t hit on or check out other girls/guys. Don’t talk about other girls or guys when you’re on a date. Instead of talking about others, you should talk about yourself & the person you’re with.
  5. Don’t make empty promises. Aka don’t fucking lie and make it seem like you want something more when we both know you don’t.
  6. Be yourself. Stop pretending to be something you’re clearly not. It’s pathetic & will make you transparent. The person will see you for what you really are eventually.
  7. Don’t get too drunk. We all know how we get when we drink. We’re nicer & more open. Pretty much the opposite of us when we’re sober. The next day when you’re both sober, you might hate each other.
  8. Pay attention to your date. If the girl is giving signs that she’s into you, give her more than just a kiss on the cheek. If she gets touchy-feely you might want to ask her to come up to your place. If the guy hasn’t made any moves toward you, maybe ask him if he’s interested in you. Or hell, just tell him to touch you & get it over with. Some guys cannot take hints & you have to just tell them because they’re so oblivious.
  9. Don’t split the bill. Not on the first date. Maybe the second date or maybe never!
  10. You can have sex with your date. There are ‘rules’ that say you shouldn’t but fuck that! If you want something, you go for it. Why wait for a second date that may never happen?

 

I hope this was helpful. I’d love to hear your feedback on this subject.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am and 12pm EST.

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Sun Stories: Summer – Single Indiscretion

I  got a text from Summer out of the blue that her boyfriend Jax is breaking up with her. I just saw them a few days ago at the salon and they seemed perfectly happy. I asked her why and she says that he decided to break up with her because she cheated on him. (See: Summer – Night Shift Girl)

“What? When? Did this happen recently?”

“No a year ago.”

“Was it just some romance or all the way cheating?”

“All the way.”

“Oh.”

“Yea.”

“How did he find out?”

“He went through my phone and found a group text.”

Okay, I’m going to stop here. I’m a big fan of discretion in any relationship. You have a password for a reason. Privacy. You don’t go through your partners phone. Ever. You need to trust the person you’re with. If you find out your partner had sex with someone else you have some immediate decisions to make. Can you live with it? Do you confront them about it? Do you dump them right then if you’re that insecure in the relationship? So many choices.

I would say most people can’t handle what transpired and sexual cheating is a deal breaker. But let’s examine this. I’ll give you my opinion on this subject and then you make up your own mind. You’re either in one camp or the other. It’s like you love going tanning because it makes you look good. Or, you think it’ll give you skin cancer and you’ll never go near one of those places.

I once told my ex girlfriend Michelle, the following scenario. (See: Michelle – 2007 to Present – A Brand New Day) I loved Michelle very much and I know she loved me. I know our relationship didn’t work out simply based on time and logistics but you can go read her series and see how that played out. We’re still friends. She’s the only one who survived of all the ex girlfriends. I don’t even speak to my daughter’s mother anymore now that she’s been cashed out.

If sMichelle was angry at me or even if she wasn’t and she had the opportunity to jump into some strange she could do it. You can’t stop someone from cheating on you short of chaining them to the radiator. It’s all trust. You create and exclusive bond with a loved one and you have an agreement to be loyal to them. Do I think that’s good? I do. But human sexuality is more fluid than people want to believe.

Men are wired to want to spread their genes around. It makes for a healthier species. That’s just anthropology and good science. That’s also man-made selection. The more we mix it up the better chance we have for survival because we breed out a lot of diseases.  Our imperative as Homo sapiens is to have sex with a bunch of different people. It’s fun and it feels good.

Let us remember, that we share 96% of our DNA with chimpanzees. Yea, we’re just smarter hairless monkeys. If I build a car and use 96% Toyota parts and only 4% Ford parts that car, no matter what you call it… is a Toyota.

I told Michelle that if she was on a business trip somewhere and she happened upon Richard Gere (Showing my age here) at the hotel bar and they were drinking and they ended up going back to his room and he fucked her I’d be okay with that.

I know that sounds crazy but let’s take him out of the equation. Just some hot young guy because she was drunk and horny and maybe mad at me for whatever reason. Or not angry with me. It just happened. Right place, right time and boom they had sex. As you’re reading this, that’s happening somewhere in the world right now.  That’s how common that activity is.

If she never told me about the one night stand and didn’t catch a sexually transmitted disease… we’re good. Because I never knew about it and she could live with it.

But if she came home and told me because she couldn’t live with the indiscretion, I’d ask her the following questions:

“First of all… what was it like to fuck Richard Gere???”

“Second… do I get a run at Alessandra Ambrosio?” (Kidding)

“If you guys aren’t in love and he’s not texting you, or flying you to New York for more sex or there’s no flowers and dinners and sex in the future, we’re good.”

“No, it was just one night and I’m sorry.”

Michelle loves me and is my girlfriend. She lives with me and we do all of the day in and day out activities that couples do. She slipped for one night and she is truly remorseful about it. She loves me. We’re a couple. We have each other’s hearts. We’re in love with each other. Richard Gere isn’t coming to my sister Janice’s annual holiday party. (Although that would be fucking awesome!)

Do you see the dynamic here? One indiscretion doesn’t destroy years of real love and companionship. We built that and it can be altered by geographic and other relationships with other people but can never be torn down.

You can buy sex. I can literally go to an Asian massage parlor or go on Backpages and pay money to have sex with a woman. But as the Beatles once said a long time ago: “Can’t Buy Me Love.”

You can’t buy love. You can have enough riches that would make Solomon blush but you can’t pay someone to really love you. Rich dudes are surrounded by hot tail but come on, that cash just got them babes. I can’t imagine Melania actually loving the piece of shit personality of Donald Trump. She settled on the lifestyle. He’s an enormous loser and this country has made a giant mistake but I digress. This is a dating blog not a political platform for my views of America’s folly.

Jax should have manned up and addressed it with her and made a decision. Could he live with the fact that his beloved girlfriend allowed another man to penetrate her holiest of holies? They’re young, so I’m thinking jealousy and sexual recklessness runs deep in these kids. I remember being young and if my girlfriend cheated on me and fucked another guy I probably would have lost my shit and dumped her. But maybe not. I don’t know. But I’ve been on this planet for half a century and I’ve seen it all. I have rich perspective in regard to relationships, love and sex.

So Jax should have dealt with the problem then. He isn’t allowed to pull the gun out and shoot her a year later for her indiscretion. He should have dumped her then if he couldn’t live with it or forgave her and let it go. You really have to forgive people. You can’t live with it and keep drinking the poison. You must forgive. Really forgive. You can’t half do that. You have to go all in. Forgiveness is the key to you clearing your mind of all the garbage you’re carrying around in your head. Don’t let anybody live rent free in your head. Your mind is too precious for that shit.

But here we are a year later. He’s been carrying this around with him. That’s a problem. He let that resentment simmer and smolder and now he’s pulling the trigger.

Wrong, childish, behavior. But they’re young people. It happens. The young mind doesn’t really know what path to take. It’s all desire, passion, and chemicals firing. Some people wish they could go back and do it over. Fuck that. I’d rather live and learn and gather the wisdom to bring me peace in my middle-aged life.

So their broken up and she’s sad.

But you know what? He’s been texting her and now they are meeting for dinner. They’ll be back together within days. It’s a stupid cycle. But again… they’re young. They’ll hopefully learn the way. But for now this is how it is. Familiarity and settling.

Summer is actually more of the man in the relationship. He’s the sweet girl. Taking care of her. Putting up with her shit. But now that I’ve met them both Summer is clearly in charge. Women don’t really want to be in that role. I believe in empowering women on all levels but at the end of the day they need their men to be MEN.

Strong figures they can love and respect and admire. Those kind of men make good parents and companions. Just ask my daughter Lorelei and my girlfriend, Cherie.

Ask Michelle too for all I care. She’ll agree.

 

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Dating and Relationship Advice – If You Possess 4 of These Traits, You Are One Of The Rarest People On Earth

According to Carl Jung, the personalities of people are represented by general attitude: sensitive – intuitive, extroverted – introverted, judging – perceiving, and thinking – feeling.

So, when you get out the 4 initial letters INFJ from these personalities, you get the rarest type which is Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging. When you look at a classroom, you can see only one or two students who are quiet and observing of what is going on around.

This is the rarest type. They are not shy, but introverted. But, being quiet is not the only characteristic of this personality.

Below you can read 10 traits of the unique INFJ personality, and see if you belong to this group.

1. The Focus is on Important Things

These people always concentrate on important things and deal with challenges in a confident and easy way. And, when the things do not go as planned, they find new ways to achieve their goals.

2. Hard Workers

Many people from the other personality types are lazy, but the INFJ’s are real hard-workers. They always try to do their best in order to make their dreams come true because nothing comes easy in life.

3. Believing in Their Gut

You have probably noticed that “N” in INFJ stands of intuition. So, these people possess a strong intuition. And, when they sense something bad is happening, they immediately start doing something about it. Also, they can always feel if something is going to happen in their life.

4. Only Few Chosen Friends

These people choose their close friends carefully. They are often alone because they enjoy their solitude, and do not enjoy hanging in large social groups.

5. Empaths

They are all about feelings. Whenever someone needs help, they will be there to give them a hand. Also, they are able to put themselves in someone else’s shoes and understand their feelings. And, feeling what others feel is the reason why they often need some alone time to recharge their batteries.

6. Read Other People Easily

Being an empath means having the ability to read people’s minds through their emotions. They are very good at noticing when someone is lying. This characteristic helps them stay safe when they are around people with bad intentions.

7. Visionaries

While being alone, these people let their mind wander. As a result, they get a lot of new and creative ideas that can share with their friends.

8. Inspiring

Since these people are visionaries, idealists, and creative, they are able to inspire everyone around them, especially their close friends.

9. Love Towards Writing

Expressing their thoughts and creativity is these people’s way of life. But, since as we mentioned, they prefer being alone, they choose writing as a way of expression. So, when they write down what they think and feel, they feel much more peaceful and calmer. (Me)

10. Great at Solving Problems

INFJ’s are natural when it comes to solving problems because they always see the bigger picture. So, this ability helps them to notice which things are not right and find a way to fix them.

Finally, readers, if you possess at least 4 of the above-mentioned traits, you belong to the group that has the unique and rare personality type.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day at 8am 12pm EST.

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