Tinder Dating Among Teens: When Swipe-Right Culture Goes to High School – Part 1

Jenna created a Tinder profile when she was 17. Using the dating app’s toggling age form, she chose “18,” the youngest available option, and wrote “actually 17” on her profile. This was common practice at the New Jersey high school where she was a senior and her best way into a swipe-right culture that promised access to intimacy and acceptance. Jenna was a teenager. She had never been kissed. She wasn’t very popular. This was a no-brainer.

“Why did I do it?  So… my friends had boyfriends. And I didn’t. I mean, no one at my school seems like worth it. And it’s like, an easier way to find other people in the area. I was also considering hooking up with people,” says Jenna, who is now 19. “Was it useful? That’s debatable.”

Jenna joined Tinder in 2016, shortly after the company announced that the platform would be excluding the 13- to 17-year-olds it had previously welcomed. Though Tinder co-founder Justin Mateen had defended providing young people with access, saying it was a way to make friends, the company caved to public pressure. It was clear, after all, that teens weren’t just using Tinder to find friends. For many, it had become a place to find random hookups and validation. For others, it had become a safe place to experiment with their sexuality. Perhaps for most, it offered a rough introduction into the adult sexual economy.

“I got close to hooking up with one person, and then I backed out real hardcore,” recalls Jenna. ”He wanted to get a hotel. I was like, ‘My guy, I don’t have money, I can’t pay for a hotel.’”

I downloaded Tinder in April of 2019 to search for underage users on the platform for this story (I’ve changed the names of the users I interview for the sake of their privacy). The process of downloading the dating app took me less than a minute. Tinder didn’t ask for my age or require me to link to my Facebook or other existing social media accounts. I just had to verify my email address. For my first profile, I used an actual photo of myself as well as my real name and actual age. Thinking I might find more under-18s if I posed as an 18-year-old, I deleted my account and made a new one with the same picture, same name, and a different email in the same span of time. I also pressed Tinder on their age verification standards, but they did not respond to requests for comment. (The app allows users to report on people not using it properly, but that seems to be the extent of the monitoring.)

Launched in 2012, Tinder has long been the most popular dating app in the world. Used in about 200 countries, it boasts 10 million active daily users and 50 million total users. At the time Tinder announced new age restrictions, three percent of its daily user base was underage, amounting to some 1.5 million minors. But many didn’t leave. They pretended to be 18 and stuck around for the thrill of it. Scrolling through the app, dozens of profiles surface of users who are ostensibly 20 with “actually 18” written in their profiles, which suggests these users signed up at 16 and aged up with the app rather than creating new profiles. For better and mostly worse, the teens are still there.

How many underage kids are on Tinder? It’s impossible to say, but according to research by Monica Anderson at the PEW Research Center, 95 percent of teenagers have a smartphone. More than a few is a safe guess.

Dr. Gail Dines, President and CEO of Culture Reframed and Professor Emerita of Sociology and Women’s Studies at Wheelock College, argues that teens retaining access to Tinder exacerbates a major cultural issue. Dines studies the way that the easy and ubiquitous access to pornography on the Internet affects romantic dating culture and argues that Tinder and other such dating apps have changed the teenage years by providing teens with a reason to obsess over their sexual presentation.

“What we’ve done is we’ve compressed their childhood,” says Dines. “Now, teens are meant to be sexual at a much earlier age, because those are the messages that are coming at them all the time. Especially for girls.”

The key message coming at them, Dines said, is that they’re either “fuckable” or invisible. She explains that this incentivizes teenagers to try to make themselves “fuckable in order to be visible” and that this dynamic effects children of younger and younger ages. Young girls have long been sexualized. Now, they are self-sexualizing to an increasing degree. And Tinder gives them a platform on which to practice being objectified and objectifying each other in lieu of developing strong social bonds.

“You cannot replace social media with actually being in a group,” Dines says. “The things you learn from being in a group, in real time, are not replaceable with social media. How to act, how to get cues from people, what works and doesn’t work for you — all of those things.”

Adolescence, Dines adds, is a time for experimentation on every level. It’s a big world out there and teenagers are trying to locate themselves in it. By moving away from the physical, teens are missing out on a very crucial experience.

 

 

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Kita – Chapter 19 – The Sun Queen

I worked all weekend. Of course Summer who I love is off in Syracuse with family and I’m stuck running the salon. I have no life so I take her shift. I love using words like “I have no life”, because my life is so rich with friends and attractive women.

The salon is so dead so my partner has basically paid me to write my blog all weekend.

The last time I tanned my baby was Tuesday.  She had an amazing dinner with me  at Gran caffè l’Aquila after that memorable night.

I haven’t seen her since then.

Saturday is a financial bust. Sunday is even worse. There’s nothing going on and it’s been raining all day. I go to Macdonald’s for breakfast which is always amazing despite the homeless factor out front. The black girls working there are always pretty and I want them all just like my girlfriend who used to work there.

Despite the controversy Macdonald’s continues to generate a solid product despite what my vegan daughter, Lorelei says about it.

Lovely Kita appears and charges at me with a hug.

Apparently after our date thing are different. You don’t hug awkwardly around the face and shoulders. Kita gives me fuck body and leans her firm slender thigh between my legs and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

“Today’s the day!”

“Yep! Twenty minutes in the sunbed. You’re the only one we’ll let do it.”

“Thank you so much. I really appreciate it, Charles. I feel so pale.”

“Are you ready?”

“Yes!”

“Okay. You go into #2 and have your regular session, and when it’s finished, I’ll send you again under the house account so it doesn’t look like you went two times in a row. It’s all been approved with Achilles.”

“Yay! Can’t wait.”

Off she goes to tan. She closes the doors to the room. I think about how there’s been no talk about JR the ex and Steve the new potential beau. I like that. I also think about what she said about feeling pale. She has a better and darker tan than almost any other client that comes in here. I can only think of three other people who are as dark as she is. I really believe people can become addicted to anything. I think Kita is addicted to tanning. I wonder where that comes from? Is it like an eating disorder? Is it a beauty thing? I can never be tan enough. I can never be pretty enough. I don’t know but I definitely think this chick is addicted in some way to this activity. She eats well. She can’t drink. Doesn’t smoke. She’s very fit. That’s a clean vessel. I’m going to look into this subject.

Her session ends and I send the second one in after it.

“Hit the start button, Kita!”

I hear the bed awaken and the lights come on again. Off she goes for another ten minute session.

I finish cleaning up and folding the last of the towels. The place has been dead today, so everything is done. Dusted, swept, and mopped.

When Kita emerges I’m sitting in one of the chairs in the waiting area. She immediately goes to look in the mirror down the hall. I’ll have to say something complimentary about what she just did when she comes back up here.

She pops from around the corner of room one. “Do I look darker?”

“Come closer. I can’t really tell from here.”

Kita takes two steps toward me. “Now?”

“I don’t know if I can tell if you got anything.”

That’s when Kita approached me and sat down in my lap and put her hands on the back of my neck. She put her pretty little face up to mine. Her nose a few inches from mine.

“How about now?” she purrs…

I instinctively kissed her ripe lips. Our tongues swirl together for the very first time. Her mouth is sweet and her body yields to mine. I run my hand through her soft locks. It’s a deep passionate kiss that is needed more to break the tension than anything. I knew if she got close enough to the lion again I’d surely bite this little lamb.

She draws back from me, smiling and licking her slick lips.

“I needed that.”

“Me too!” I hiss.

She stands. My hands slide along her slender tan thighs.

“You working Tuesday?”

“Y…Yes.”

“Cool. I’ll see you then!”

“But…”

She simply turns and puts her index finger to her lips.

Then she’s gone.

I’m left sitting here alone in the silence of the salon with a stunned look on my face.

That, and my pants are feeling a little bit tighter.

That little Minx!!

 

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Sun Stories: Summer – Astonished – Part 1

Summer has resigned from the salon. With school, and holiday winter break she’s over it. I think what happens to these girls they just get tired of all of the people who come in here to tan. Mostly the women just start to annoy them. It’s happened to a lot of the girls who have worked here.

I miss her and occasionally reach out to her because I’m fond of her. We mostly text.

“I feel like we’re drifting apart because we don’t work together anymore.”

“Aww no! I’ve been dealing with so much shit I haven’t been myself.”

 

Thursday

“Happy Thanksgiving!”

“Happy Thanksgiving!”

 

Sunday

“Hello”

“I was just telling Kita today how much I missed you. I told her I was going to text you to see if you would visit me at the salon… and here you are! How are you?”

“Ha Ha is she working there yet?”

“Not till January.”

“Ohhh Gotcha. Did Achilles leave my final pay?”

“I haven’t seen it. Should I tell him you’re coming in this week to get it?”

“Yea, or I can text him either one…. I have terrible, terrible news as well.”

“What happened, Summer?”

“Charles I’m pregnant. You can’t tell anyone though. I found out on fucking Tuesday.”

“What………………….The………………………………….FUCK?”

“Yup.”

“Do you know who the father is?” (a feeble attempt at levity in the face of great adversity)

“Jake.” (her boyfriend of two years)

“Does he know?”

“Yea. He made me take the test. I had to tell my parents and he told his.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Well there’s not much I can do. I went to the doctor to see if I could get an abortion. Guess how far along I am?”

“No idea.”

“Take a guess.”

“Two months.”

“Six months since yesterday.”

“What the fuck??? Didn’t you notice you hadn’t gotten your period in all that time?”

“My period is so messed up I haven’t gotten it in over a year. It’s always been messed up.”

“Ok. I’m stunned. So what’s the plan?”

“I don’t look it at all. And I am not sure yet.”

“Well abortion is well off the table.”

“Yea. six months. That’s a legit baby.”

“So adoption or become a mom. What do the families say?”

“They all sound like they want me to keep it.”

“Well your family can afford it and probably don’t want one of their own being raised by another family.”

“Yes, that’s very true. They said not to worry about the money.”

“That’s good… so shotgun wedding for you and Jake?”

“hahahahahahahahahah Hell no!”

“Just think he broke up with you when you were pregnant with his child! (Got back together a week later) Do you know the sex of the baby?”

“I find out Wednesday. Think about all of the drinking I did since June… We’re seeing if the baby is healthy.”

“I was just thinking about that. Oh Jeez. No birth control?”

“I was on birth control since 8th grade. My liposuction surgery fucked it up. I got pregnant two weeks after it. The antibiotics canceled it out.”

“Oh shit. I hope the baby is okay. When can I see you?”

Tomorrow I’ll come in and see you.”

“Okay. see you then, Summer.”

 

Well let’s see where this journey takes poor Summer!

 

 

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Cherie – Chapter 51 – Justified

You know, when you go into these things you have to compartmentalize your life. I have a girlfriend. But she lives up in Pottstown, PA. That’s 41 miles away from Philly. She can’t get down here more than once or twice a month. I love Cherie and our time together is always wonderful but it’s few and far between. She’s jammed up with school and work and raising her son.

I get texts from her about her frustration with her life. But there’s nothing I can do but listen and comfort her. But that’s hard to do from 41 miles away sitting in a chair texting back and forth. On her end I suppose she’s venting, but on my end, I just don’t feel like listening to a bunch of negative stuff at night when I’m home.

I know I should be grateful at my age to have a 27 year old hot girlfriend that isn’t around much. I get the benefits of intense sex and love and so does she but the schedules and the distance are taking their toll.

I think our relationship is fine and I enjoy my time alone or with my friends. Plus, I like to work and stay busy. So for me it works out great. I just have to gear up for the Sexual Olympics very three weeks or so.

But for her it’s different. She misses me. She gets super horny and let’s me know it. That never turns me on because there’s nothing I can do about it. It just makes me sad for her because I’m not there, and can’t be there to satisfy her desire. So I’m sure that’s frustrating. Then there’s the texts about how bad her life is, and how frustrated she is with her son, and his health and her own health. I don’t know a lot about what’s going on, and I know she doesn’t want to tell me because she says she doesn’t want to disappoint me. She says there are several things she doesn’t share because she’s afraid I’ll be disappointed and leave her. Which is simply not the case.

Like I said before. She’s young, smart and beautiful. She never brings up marriage and doesn’t want to have any more kids. I think that’s pretty much the perfect girl.

But what I miss is the romantic couple stuff. Going to the movies. Having dinner together. Going to shows and museums, etc. We rarely ever get to do anything like that. We did in the beginning but her schedule’s so crazy now she doesn’t have time anymore.

So I hope things get better and prepare myself for the worst. But after all I’ve been through with crazy ex, Annabelle, (See: Annabelle – 2013 to 1014 – Nice to Meet You) I have rewired my mind to be prepared for anything to happen and not lose my shit. So I want Cherie and I to make it, because she is one of the greatest women I’ve ever been with in my life.

They say distance makes the heart grow fonder. I agree with that statement because I’m always happy to see Cherie anytime we’re reunited, but distance can also cause an errant heart in some.

Hence, what’s happened with Ambria, last year, (See: Ambria – 2017 – Ray of Light) and now Kita. (See: Kita – 2017 to Present – Hello Lovely) So I’ll just have to see how all of this plays out.

UPDATE: Cherie is struggling financially with Temple University. She just texted me today and asked me to give her $2000. I don’t have that kind of liquidity. So I turned her down. I feel bad but I shouldn’t be lending my girlfriend that kind of money.

Had I given it to her she would have been forced into so many deviant sexual scenarios she would have never recovered from that. I did the right thing.

You think that’s funny?

I’m serious.

The blog is called, phicklephilly…

 

(Oh, come on… I’m KIDDING!)

 

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Sun Stories: Kita – Chapter 11 – The Day Before Tomorrow – Part II

This baby doesn’t know what real darkness is. It has nothing to do with pigment, melanin or skin color. But I do.

“Anyway….No worries. Happy to help. What are we doing today?

“I want to do a spray and a UV session today! What do most people do?”

“Oh, the double dip today! I won’t recognize you tomorrow!”

“I’ll be dark! I wanna be dark!”

This baby doesn’t know what real darkness is. It has nothing to do with pigment, melanin or skin color. But I do.

Customers are coming and going and it’s getting busier. I just love that’s she’s hanging close to me at the counter. I go and clean beds on the in between, and I love walking back up to the front and she’s just there chatting with clients. They love her and compliment her on her gorgeous tan. She’s loving it and saying she’s pale.

Oh, the irony.

Clients ask about what lotion they should buy and she pipes up and recommends the Tahitian Bronze, because I let her try it one day. It’s the most expensive lotion in the house and she’s selling it to these pale ghosts.

“Yea, I used it and it got me really dark.”

These sheep are looking at this really pretty petite Asian girl with skin like delicious caramel and will do whatever the fuck she says. Kita is a natural and I make a mental note about this for the future.

I tell her normally that women go into the spray tanner and then follow it up with a stand up session to give them a little more and bake on the spray solution.

Kita has made it clear to me that she doesn’t like the stand up units because they have no face tanners. (600 watts of UV ‘A’ rays to brown the face and not burn it because the face is harder to tan than the rest of the body.)

We finally settle on Kita going to Room 2 for a lay down UV first and then to the spray tanning booth for a clear coat level 3. She’s afraid she’ll get too dark with the level 3 so at the last-minute she changes it to the level 2. (Probably a good decision but either way I’m sure she’ll look amazing)

“Can I get a robe?”

I love this. She’s going to UV tan in her favorite bed, number 2 and then wrap herself in one of our little blue robes and walk back to number 8 and jump into the Versaspa spray unit. Just the idea of lovely Kita standing before me in nothing but a little robe and completely naked underneath brings my blood to a boil. But I must refrain from any thoughts or feelings. I’m a professional here. I have three great yelp reviews using my name, and I have to keep my composure around clients even if I have a crush on them.

I’ll be fine.

I send her into room 2 and off she goes. I go about taking care of clients, cleaning beds and doing laundry.

In a little bit she comes out in her little robe. It has no belt on it so she clutches it to her lithe body as she shamelessly approaches me. She was all covered up when she arrived tonight but now I can see her shapely, tan legs. The experience is maddening because of the ironic circumstances. My mind flashes to her wrapped in that robe emerging from my bathroom and joining me for a night of passion in my bedroom.

But only for a second.

“I forget what I’m supposed to do in the spray booth, can you give me a refresher, Charles?”

“Of course. Let’s go to room eight.”

Here is this little doll that I absolutely adore and has gone from top five to my number one standing in front of me in a tiny robe. I tell her where to put the repelling lotion and run through the poses she must do while in the booth to get the best spray tan. I remind her about the hair net she has to wear and send her in.

“Do I need to call out to you Charles when I’m ready?”

My mind goes straight to the gutter.

“No. A green light will come on in the unit and when you’re ready you simply press it and then off you go. The lady’s voice will guide you through the four-minute process. Then all you have to do is stay dry for the next six hours and when you wake up tomorrow you’ll be Malibu Barbie.

“Okay! Thank you!”

“No worries, Kita. Just follow her directions and you’ll be fine!”

I walk back towards the front of the salon as she closes the door. I think of how spectacular she must look as she stands naked in that unit as the spray strikes her glistening fit body. I’m envious of the Versaspa in that moment that it gets to see the very thing I will never see. The heater in the machine will glow red and she will submit to the commands of the voice as she turns to display her nude vessel to the spray that will hopefully make her look the way she believes she should.

I think she’s perfect the ways he is, but she loves to tan, and this is a tanning salon. and I would never have met her if I wasn’t here.

I used to always complain early on in my dating journey on this blog that ‘the wallet never came out’ with all of these middle-aged women I tried dating in the beginning. But if this date happens tomorrow I will gladly shell out whatever’s necessary to feed this little flower and make the night special.

Because her youth, beauty, and sweetness are a gift to me. Just the fact that she hangs at the counter like a pup and listens intently to me to learn about life is satisfactory payment to me. The very notion that this 21-year-old girl will meet me for dinner at a nice restaurant is enough for me. I may even try to do a picture but that is a stretch. Her showing up and just being Kita is a win for my ego.

I thought about her. Phicklephilly loved her from afar and then ran her down and got her to hang out and confess to me her life, and now to go out with me on a date is spectacular. Just for the fact that I can dream something and bring it to fruition at my age.

I know it’s insane but if she said, I’m hung up on JR and I’m dating Steve but if you give me X amount I’ll be your sugarbaby… I would possibly buckle and take some money from my brokerage account and split her like a ripe melon.

But please…. settle down. Not happening. She trusts me. I’m honored by the fact that she trusts me enough to have dinner with me.  My black wings her neatly folded away and iI will be the gentleman I truly am.

 

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Phicklephilly – Here We Go Again

WARNING: This Post Is NSFW

Go here to read it:

https://lapetitemort17.wordpress.com/2019/04/21/phicklephilly-here-we-go-again/

 

 

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Sun Stories: Kita – Chapter 8 – Sunday Girl

I like working Sundays. It’s quiet and I can write my blog at the salon. I also get to do a little extra cleaning.

On my way in I stop at MacDonald’s and have a cheap tasty breakfast. I’m early, so when I’m finished eating I head over to Wawa on Broad street to pick up some snacks for later.

The salon closes at 4pm on Sundays so I don’t need to get a sandwich for later because I won’t be hungry until later. I always order the same stuff when I go there. But today I do something  little different.

You’ll find out what that is in a little bit.

Later, I’m working at the salon and it is super dead. I’m typing away on my blog and the occasional client rolls in. Time is slipping by as I write. By the time it’s 2pm I’m wondering if sweet little Kita will come in at all. I shouldn’t be concerned because she loves to tan and hasn’t been in since Thursday.

 

The door opens and she appears. She looks amazing as always. A little black jacket over a turquoise sleeveless top. She’s wearing a tiny pair of black shorts that showcase her shapely slender tan legs. On her feet are a pair of little sandals. Her little toenails are painted white just like the nails on her hands.

Cute!

She’s chatting with me hanging at the side of the counter and I’m in heaven. I can feel the butterflies when she’s around.

It’s a delightful feeling at my age.

She tells me she’s really tired today. She’s been studying so much because she has mid- terms coming up at the end of the week. I tell her I was editing my blog and it was the final chapter of the Annabelle series. (See: Annabelle – 2013 to 2014 – I Can’t Quit You Baby) I thought about her and her on again, off again (Hopefully for good) boyfriend JR.

I read her the following passage about how Annabelle treated me after our breakup:

“After that Annabelle simply “ghosted” me. For those of you reading this that don’t know what that means, it’s when someone in your life simply vanishes. They don’t call or text. It all suddenly stops. Nothing. Just gone. This went on for months. I wasn’t going to contact her.

She did this.

I needed to heal. Adults speak to one another and close the relationship. It’s wrong to put a person on a shelf like they are just some sort of toy, and then think you can take them down and play with them whenever you’re confused or lonely. It’s just shitty behavior. The person you’re doing that to is a human being with feelings. You’re a rotten person if you think that sort of behavior is okay.”

She’s amazed that Annabelle did to me exactly what JR did to her. I had explained this behavior to her the first time she spent an hour here and told me about this loser. But I forgot I had written the same scenario about Annabelle. Some people just suck and squander the good people in their lives because they have no moral compass in regard to right and wrong.

We don’t speak about or ex’s much more and I notice she hasn’t said anything about the guy that instant messengered her on Instagram. He was nice to her unlike shitty JR, but I just don’t feel like bring him up.

She’s here with me today. No other dudes allowed, even in word form.

“I’m about to have a banana. You want one?”

“Sure. Thanks!”

I go into the other room and reach into the bag from Wawa and produce two bananas. I never buy two bananas. But today I was pretty sure babygirl was coming in and I thought she’d like some fresh fruit. She’s a very healthy eater and fit girl.

My little plan worked!

She’s chatting with me and munching her banana and I’m just happy to be able to do something for her. She tells me she has to write a paper tonight that’s due tomorrow. She says she has to write six pages about a hotel and a cruise line. It’s for her Hospitality Management course.

We talk about that and I give her some ideas. She says she just feels so tired. I hope she’s not getting sick.  She said her throat has been a little sore in the morning. But then it fades away. It could be just her dorm room. I’ll have to ask her if she has any roommates.

I think since she just moved up here from Florida she’s a little lonely. Many of the women around her are all in sororities and like to party. Kita doesn’t drink and isn’t in any activities at school. She tells me she is very focused on her studies and schoolwork. Typical Asian. I say good for her.

I mention to her that I sent her a calendar invite for our date tomorrow at the restaurant. She says she never got it as she checks her phone. I tell her it’s okay, because we’ve already discussed the details but I like to stay organized. (But in my heart I need her to accept the date on her calendar, That’s just me. That’s the written commitment I need from Kita.) She says she never got it as she looks into her emails in her phone. I read her the email address I have for her and she says it’s wrong. She corrects me and I go on the house compter and sign onto my google. I resend it to her with the correct address.

“Got it!. Do I just hit yes?”

“Do it.”

She does and I check my email and tell her it’s locked in now because I just got a,”Kita accepted your invitation.”

This pleases me to know that our dinner date is locked down.

It looks like this is really happening. What started out as a fantasy about a pretty girl is now a full-fledged meeting at a nice restaurant where baby will be munching pan seared salmon like a champ with ME.

I even let her read another funny entry in the blog. It’s about all the stuff that annoys us the salon. Normally I would never let anyone read anything before it’s published. But Kita loves tanning and think she’ll get a kick out of the piece. (See: Sun Stories – Haley – 2016 to Present – Rules and Lists) Check it out. It’s hilarious!

Little does Kita know that I’ve already written five chapters about her and what’s happening today with her in the salon will be chapter six!

I send her into room two for her tanning session. That’s not the best bed in the house but she feels like it gets her darker. If that’s what she wants and it’s fine with me.

When she finishes, we talk a bit more. I give her a free bottle of water to pour into her water bottle that she carries around. She thanks me and says she’s off to the gym. I tell her to not workout to hard. I wish her good luck on her paper she has to write and to try not to stress about it. The best thing to do when you have to write something is not to talk about it or dawdle.

Just start writing.

“When do you work again?”

“Tuesday, three to eight.”

“Cool. I’ll come in Tuesday.”

We part ways and off she goes down the steps.

Of course a bunch of people came into tan in the last thirty minutes before closing. People really can’t manage their lives.

I’m glad I’m not like that.

I finally get the last person out of there around 4:30. I don’t mind. I’m just going to stop at the liquor store and pick up some wine and go home and chill.

Later, I’m walking home and I get a text. I figure it’s my daughter or Johnny R. of my buddy Church. But it’s none of the above.

It’s Kita.

“Charles help. I miss JR so much right now. (sad emoji) So tempted to text him but I shouldn’t right?”

I love this.

I love that when Kita has a matter of the heart she reaches out to me. That’s power. I need to guide my little kitten accordingly. Apparently Kita is without a female support system to help deal with this.

I literally set down my bags and stop to get right back to her. I need to head this off right now.

“No. You’re just really tired and that’s weakening your will power. Resist the urge. Go do something else to take your mind off him.”

“I’m trying. Just hard.”

“I know. But you will go through periods of this. It will pass. Be strong. Think of the way he was treating you and the words he said to you that were cruel and how he lied to you. Those aren’t the traits you want in a mate long-term. You’ve grown and matured. He has not.”

“Then why do I want him still? Like I wish he was still my boyfriend. I feel like I’ll never move on from him!! (Sad faced emoji)

“I know you will move on. I was the same with my ex. She was a selfish loser but I still missed her even though we were no longer right for each other. If you go back to him it’ll just be more of the same and worse because he’ll know he really has power over you. Don’t do it. You’ll hurt for a while but I promise you it gets better.”

And it ends there.

We’ve all gone through this feeling. It’s can be such a roller coaster of emotions after a breakup. I wish I could just magically take away her pain, but that would be wrong. We all must go through the sadness and pain of loss. It’s part of growing up and just living in this world.

I hope she comes in on Tuesday. And fingers crossed for Wednesday dinner with her.

 

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