Phicklephilly – Special Report: Haters Gonna Hate

“Look onto your own bloody lives.” – John Lennon

Hello all. First of all I’d like to thank everyone of my followers and everybody who reads and enjoys my blog. I really appreciate the loyalty and enthusiasm of my audience. You’re the best group of creative, intelligent, lovely people I’ve ever encountered in the writing community.

So, Thank you all. I appreciate your words and your thoughts.

The reason for this blog’s success is all of you over the last 3 years. I’ve posted thousands of pieces and have had over 40,000 visitors and over 80,000 page views. I hope maybe I’ve helped a few folks out there with my dating and relationship advice and also I hope they enjoy all of my heartfelt stories and crazy dating experiences.

I’m proud and humbled by all of the attention for my little blog here in Philly.

Anyway, I wrote a piece back in 2017, (nearly 3 years ago!) and forgot about it. It was a goofy post about somebody I met on Bumble but never went out on a date with because they seemed a bit crazy.

Again, it was so long ago and I’ve written so much over the last few years I simply forgot about it.

Two days ago, I noticed a spike in my viewer stats. Frankly I was amazed. (5 times my usual daily views!) Initially I was astounded at all of the attention. I thought that maybe my blog had finally taken off as a literary force!

But when I looked closer I realized that someone, or a group of someones had found this old blog piece and attacked me.

This mad group of trolls crawled out of their caves, or out from under their rocks, or from under their bridges where they live to scare the Billy Goat’s Gruff! (hopefully some of you get the reference!)

They called me all sorts of names and were really mean.

There are thousands of these pigs out there and they love to attach themselves to successful people like blood sucking sea lampreys.

This is my blog, my words and my truth. I control every aspect of it and enjoy that part of it. I happily have to approve every comment that appears on this blog. (I have to because I get at least 50 spam posts a week and it’s all a bunch of nonsense that could hurt the integrity of the site’s function as well as WordPress.)

 

Someone once asked me how to deal with negative feedback. I told them this: “Positive feedback usually makes you feel good. (The warm fuzzy’s we all like from friends, loved one’s and coworkers) and Negative feedback. Negative feedback, when done respectfully and properly, improves your performance.

But what if the negative feedback is mean and unwarranted?

Sadly, every moron now has a voice. The internet. For hundreds of years the only voices you heard were in newspapers, radio, and TV. But since the invention of social media every idiot that wants to anonymously make a comment or attack a person to hurt them can now do it.

We’ve all read about these cowards. These internet bullies who have even hurt children and caused some poor troubled souls to even take their own precious lives.

They’re all despicable cowards that I have no time for. I’ve had my share in the last 3 years. There’s always someone out there who won’t agree with something you did to express yourself and write and create. Most of these morons that attack those of us brave enough to bare our souls through our literature and tell the truth about our live and experiences can barely put together a paragraph of any kind of rational thought.

If it happens to you, please take my simple advice:

It comes down to simple science. As a musician and a man of science, let me share this with you all.

In order for a sound to be made, you need two things. A Transmitter and a Receiver. The transmitter emits a sound, or a comment or anything. It needs a receiver to make a SOUND. With no receiver, there is NO SOUND. You need both to make a SOUND. So if some troll makes a negative comment about your art, simply don’t respond.

The negative comment never sees the light of day on your blog and it silences these fools and cowards who hide behind their computers. Because their lives are so empty, and vacuous they want to hurt those who are strong and have a real voice with their art.

Anyone who holds them out in the public eye with creative ideas will always be met with some adversity from morons who don’t have anything good going on in their lives and have nothing better to do than to attack people with real talent like all of you out there who are writers and artists yourselves.

So these broken transmitters bark their nonsense on your blog and make their snide comments and all you have to do is not approve their comments.

It’s that simple.

Laugh at what they wrote and toss it in your spam file. It’s nothing but trash and don’t let these morons have a voice.

No voice, equals no sound.

Scrape them from the sole of your shoe like you would any other bit of excrement.

Or, look at this way. I once wrote a manuscript for a book 20 years ago. It wasn’t very good and I sent it out to several publishers. I got tons of the usual rejection letters, but there was this one that struck me. She said I was a good writer but didn’t like all of the sex and violence in my work. I took it as an insult. I spoke with an artist friend of mine and he said, “No man, don’t you get it? She rejected your work, but she cared enough to tell you that your work disturbed her. It moved her to have a feeling. Whether it’s joy or revulsion, that’s what art does. It makes you feel something. You made her feel something. That’s a good thing!”

So sadly, in this day and age, haters are going to hate. They’re all a bunch of losers so don’t worry about them and don’t give them a voice.

Take control.

I’ve decided to cut and paste their words here in this blog piece that I control. I will hold these ugly trolls out to all of you, and I will show you what they are… but on my terms.

Here’s what these cowards said about me.

 

Alida 

Wow. Misogyny much?

First – do you have permission to share Ms. Smith’s images? Her name? Her comments to you, which were considered private? Have you no shame nor any concern about a lawsuit?

Second – What is it about you that you find so special and amazing? Looked through your blog here. You claim to be a gentleman, but your posts, especially this one, refute that.

Third – You dare to call yourself a writer, but what I have read from your site so far has been less than impressive. Venting is not writing.

 

 

John

Dear Mr. Hickle, If I were you I’d take this down immediately. You are grossly GUILTY of character defamation, labile, cyber bullying, and slew of other hate related crimes, as well as releasing her personal and confidential information without her consent. If this woman want to, she could sue with in an inch of your life. I know you didn’t like this person, but you are not only way out of line here, you are committing several felonies in the process by keeping this online.

 

 

K R

Honey…the only one with red flags in this exchange is you. Looks like Marey dodged a bullet there. Incel ghoul.

 

Chels

Wow… this is pretty ballsy…. publishing a woman’s images and name I assume without permission.

Glad you got your rocks off. Honestly looks like she dodged a bullet.

 

ashley

You would have been lucky to meet her, you douchebag. Looks like you though which is great because you should see Mary now! She’s a WONDERFUL woman and even an inspiration to me to stay positive no matter what life throws at you. You, my friend, never deserved that first date with Mary because you would have NEVER have been good enough. If only ONE thing you said was right about her then maybe you’d have something here but you never got to know this wonderful woman. Again, you’re a douchebag and have no place writing this bull shit with no actual FACTS to go on. Good luck in your endeavors, I hope woman on Bumble see this and avoid your ass too!spared her 

 

An Actual Writer

Hey Phickle—would you like to know how you come across, here? Do you know how it sounds when you add your bold-faced lies to your perspective?… Do you have any sense of personal accountability or introspection at all? (Rhetorical questions, obvi.)

This isn’t funny. *You* are not funny. I hope the women you’re attempting to meet catch wind of your site and steer clear.

 

Patty

This article is extramural cruel and unnecessary . I’m glad you have the time to purposefully put people down and look down on them for no reason. You are the definition of what a bully is put other people down and make fun of them to make your self feel better . I also love how you multiple time point out that your a lier wonderful quality dude ! She was better off with out you

 

ashley

So phicklephilly has changed the name of the person in this blog to protect their privacy rights… years after it’s been out there online.

I smell a lawsuit!! And one that NEEDS to be heard. Good luck Mr. Phicklephilly;)

 

Frank

Someone who describes themselves as having “been at this a while” has clearly got his own issues with relationships to deal with himself.

I wish I was cool enough to have a blog where I could judge random strangers based on one interaction.

I wonder if you’re still alone

 

E

You, sir, are an ass. First, you slander someone in your writing using her real name and photos, then suddenly its a “fictional story” after you get called out on it? No wonder YOU are/were single and on a dating site in the first place. Bullet dodged by everyone who didn’t date you. Grow up!!

 

 

What a collection of failures. All the poor grammar and bad spelling! 

Can you imagine taking the time out of your day to write the above nonsense and actually think that your little pathetic voice is heard by anyone who gives a damn about anything you have to say?

I thought I’d share what these morons said so you can all have a good laugh along with me as I continue to bring you quality content everyday…

Twice a day!

 

Oh… Here’s the best part. All of this nonsense, rage and curiosity caused an incredible spike in my traffic. Thank you trolls and haters.

In the last 48 hours I have had over 1200 page views. Thank you for getting me  closer to my 100,000 page view goal!

(Insert hysterical laughter here)

 

My father once said to me the following words, and it was one of the best pieces of advice he ever gave me.

“Son, the emptiest barrels make the most noise. Ignore them.”

 

Thank you one and all for your continued love and support! I’d love to hear your experiences with this sort of nonsense!

 

Koolkosherkitchen Forever!

 

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Check out the new Phicklephilly podcast on Spotify!

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Here’s What It’s Like to Date When You Have Anxiety (Negative Thoughts Included)

Here’s one from one of my female readers…

I’ll never forget this moment: I was on a second date with a guy, patiently awaiting the large portion of cacio e pepe I eyed on Yelp six hours prior, when he brought up the concept of anxiety. At this point, I was more into the pasta than I was into the guy, but I had to take my eyes off the restaurant’s kitchen door and focus on the conversation that was about to ensue for a few minutes. “I’ve never had anxiety before. What’s it like?” he asked, genuinely curious. Well, honey, I’m going to assume they skipped this lesson during Dating 101, but this is not the time, nor the place. I stared blankly, proceeded to giggle adorably, and thanked the heavens above to see the waiter holding my saviordinner right in front of me at that moment.

Anxiety is something I’ve dealt with since I was 15 years old, and I’m well aware of the stigma associated with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), so as ingenuous as this guy’s question was, I wasn’t prepared to answer it. It’s hard to explain what “anxiety” is because it affects everyone differently, and I definitely wasn’t going to attempt to describe the debilitating feeling I’ve had for a large portion of my life to a stranger. Thanks, but no thanks.

I’d be lying if I said anxiety didn’t impact my dating life.

Dating when you have anxiety is, uh, interesting. But before I get into it, I want to again clarify that everyone has a different experience, and I can only speak to my own. My experience is not social anxiety or anxiety about dating (usually), it’s about how my general anxiety impacts my life as a 27-year-old single woman in Manhattan who’s just trying to get her date on. While I definitely think I’m a great dater — I’m on the apps, I like going out (sometimes), I’m an outgoing and positive person — I’d be lying if I said anxiety didn’t impact my dating life.

A viral tweet from Gage DeAngelis perfectly encapsulates this: “My girlfriend has major anxiety issues and it really affects her and I see that, daily. So I asked her if there’s anything I can to do help. Her response? ‘Just let me be crazy and I’ll be fine.’ Yes ma’am,” he wrote. I don’t know him or his relationship, but his girlfriend’s reaction to “let her be” is important. In the modern dating era, I believe that you really have to put yourself out there if you want to meet someone. Whether that’s on a dating app or out in real life, you just have to. For me, someone with anxiety, that comes with listening to my body and my mind, and of course, “letting me be.”

There are weeks when I’m feeling hopeful, and the thought of going out with someone I potentially have a great connection with sparks joy, so I’ll make a few dates and dinner plans with friends. There are also weeks when I need my alone time, so I’ll line up workouts after work to clear my head. There are even weeks when I can’t bring myself to work out because I need to de-stress in the comfort of my own home, so I won’t make any plans that could add to my anxiousness. But the most important thing for me is to listen to my body and figure out what kind of week it is to plan accordingly.

There’s no shame in rescheduling a date if you’re going to be mentally elsewhere during the prime hours of getting to know someone.

Listening to your body and your mind is one thing, but acting on it is another. My anxiety, like many people’s, can be unpredictable — a lovely morning can turn into a panicked racing heart if something triggers me — so, cancel plans if that’s the case. There’s no shame in rescheduling a date if you’re going to be mentally elsewhere during the prime hours of getting to know someone. Anxiety and the negative, racing thoughts that come with it are out of your control, but canceling plans and taking the night to cuddle with a weighted blanket and some CBD to get back to feeling like yourself is in your control.

I’m not a mental health professional, and I’m definitely not an expert on dating (hello, single!), but I’ve juggled anxiety and societal pressures to “put yourself out there” long enough to know this: sitting at a table nodding to a forced conversation when negative thoughts are running rampant through your mind is not going to lead you to your soulmate, or even lead you to an enjoyable evening. Listen to your body, your mind, and “put yourself out there” only when you’re able to be present and able to be the best version of yourself. As for me, I just need to remember that Carrie Bradshaw was a fictional character, and in real life, someone with a fabulous shoe collection, a very active social life, and never-ending editorial deadlines would *probably* have anxiety, too.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Facebook: phicklephilly       Instagram: @phicklephilly       Twitter: @phicklephilly

I Apologize for the Infraction… But I’m Not Sorry

I’ve been looking after a lot of people lately.

Life is good for me as always. I’ve cut all of the crazy fleas and ticks out of my life.  That’s a relief. Please try it. You may be carrying some people who you no longer need in your life. Think it through. I’ve been writing this blog for a while now. I’ve covered a lot of territory. Many people. Many dates and friends.

I think about my life now. I have my health for now. You never know when that could go. That’s your most precious resource. I have stuff to do. Work at the salon, and the other place. (I don’t want to name them because it’s private for now. Not relevant to this story.) I have much love in my life. Cherie, my daughter, my family and other interests. I’ve learned to compartmentalized my life as I’ve gotten older. I’m not keeping secrets, just protecting people’s hearts. I have good people surrounding me now. That’s always a positive force. No more crazies. That’s too draining and a waste of time. Learn the difference as quick as you can. I have things to look forward to. That’s important too. That carries you forth into tomorrow.

I love my girlfriend Cherie. She’s marriage material. I can’t believe I’m actually saying that but when I’m with her I feel that way. I could grow old with that perfect girl. She’s wonderful. Best woman I’ve ever met. I’ve always been loyal to the women in my life, but I’ve been unfaithful to Cherie several times. It’s not because we’re having problems, it’s because I don’t see her enough.

But I like that. I like having a girl who loves me passionately that I rarely see. That’s just me. I know it sounds awful, but she’s my one and only and I think of her in terms I’ve never felt for any one else.

But I continue to offend.

Maybe if she were around more I’d be more virtuous but I don’t know. I don’t want her around much. I like her once a month delivering the drug I love. Dopamine and endorphins. It’s glorious. I know she’s going to someday be a successful doctor. You may think I’m a piece of shit for having a beautiful girlfriend half my age and cheating on her all of the time.

I’m not getting any younger. I have her right where I want her. The perfect arrangement for me. Finally. Someone that loves me and fucks me back to the stone age every time I see her and is the sweetest, most loyal baby ever.

But I do what I want.

I’m a loyal partner and have always been, but I am not getting any younger. ‘If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with’, the song says.

I should be on my knees thanking God for sending me such a wonderful woman who has gone through so much with life, her ex, her son, school and her family. She never drags me into any of it because she says she doesn’t want to decrease her value to me.

Yea. That’s a real thing in our relationship. The sweet, bright young black girl doesn’t want to look bad in front of her old white boyfriend.

She’s 28 and I’m 55! I’m stunned that she even wants to talk to me let alone let me fuck her. But to be fair because she’s a nymphomaniac and I am a reformed hypersexual, our sex is absolute fire. Cherie is the singular greatest lover I have ever had in my life.

But I’ve offended with Ambria. That was an indiscretion. There were a couple of near misses after her but now there’s Kita, and I absolutely adore her. This has been my track record and I suppose that’s who I am. Nobody’s getting hurt and I’m just sliding down destiny’s rainbow.

At my age that’s a miracle. Most men my age would kill to have what I have. Fuck them. Let them blow their money on cars and stuff. I have a gift that none of those losers have, so they can kiss my ass.

I’ve earned my right to be here and be surrounded by all of the lovely moist women in my life. I love them all equally and differently and I’m honored they want to still meet and old lion like me for a drink occasionally.

I truly love all of the women in my life. I am phicklephilly. The fickle lover that’s fiercely loyal but still a philanderer. But a man who truly loves and respects the women in his life and can retain them as friends without trying to get into their pants like every other loser in this city.

Men miss the point. There’s an ocean of women out there for you. Go ahead and pursue that. I don’t give a shit. That’s your scene. But you’re missing the point. Women are amazing, lovely, fascinating creatures that you should get to know. Try to be a better man and get to know some of them.

Stop trying to stick your dick into every moist hole you encounter. Get to know them. They’re really interesting and fun. Help them with their challenges in life. Reveal the stupid loser mistakes to help them get through their challenges with our species.

Because they don’t understand us either. You’d think they would because we’re such simple assholes but they don’t. You guys are equally mystified by them as well.

Make some friends with women and make them feel safe. I have dozens of women in my life that love and trust me because I am that man they trust and I deliver on that shit every day.

“Oh Charles hooked me up with that job because he knows the general manager and now my life is better and he didn’t try to awkwardly fuck me after that.”

Be that guy.

No fuck that. Never be a guy. Be a MAN.

Mix your life with men and women. You’ll feel more balances with both in your life. Your dudes are easy, but bring some girls in. Ladies are fun, beautiful and cool. Get it straight in your mind that you want to have female friends in you life that you don’t want to stick you dick into.

I know we all want to fuck all of the women we know. I would gladly sleep with pretty much all of the women I know in my life. They’re all young and attractive! But you have to take that moment in your mind and say to yourself, I need to have a pool of dating girls and a different pool of female friends.

Your life will be so much more rich.

I know you struggle with hearing all of their chatter. I get that. Turn your mind. It’s not chatter. It’s her song. She’s beautiful. Let her sing it and be there for her. Your friends could turn into lovers.

But just know in your mind that you have a plan.

You’re going to have a pool of women you’re going to pursue for romance and sex, but hold your crew of friendly ladies close for support.

Because you may need them for support when you lose your love.

Chicks Rule!

(When Alessandra appeared and did the heart thing my brain exploded)

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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14 Women Describe the Moment They Knew They Were Bisexual

Bisexuality isn’t an exact science. The experience for one individual may look very different than the experience of another. So what exactly does it mean to be bisexual? According to the Human Rights Campaign, a bisexual person is someone who can be attracted to more than one gender.

However, while some people who are attracted to multiple genders may identify as bisexual, others may instead identify as pansexual, queer, fluid, or not label themselves at all.

“It’s really different for everyone,” says LGBTQ expert Kryss Shane, LMSW. “Some people who identify as bisexual might have always been romantically or sexually attracted to people of multiple genders; Some people who identify as bisexual maybe prefer pornography or in-real-life sexual encounters with people of multiple genders.”

To be clear though, there’s no sort of checklist that can determine whether or not you’re bisexual. But to help, here are 14 women’s stories on the moment they knew they were bisexual and how they embraced their identity.

1. “I knew I was bisexual when I was 15. I had curious thoughts about women for years, but thought it was just me wanting to be friends with them. When I was younger though, I was a big Glee fan, and that show introduced a lot of female relationships that I hadn’t seen before. I think just being exposed to those really popular pairings made me realize that I wanted what I was seeing, but was also still equally boy-crazy. Once I realized I wanted a dog and a picket white fence with a girl, that’s when I really knew I was truly bisexual.” —Michelle O., 23.

2. “At 24, I met a girl and found myself not only fantasizing about kissing her, but actually dating her too. You know, like waking up with her in the morning, cuddling on the sofa, etc. I remember standing and looking at her talking to a friend when I realized that I would not make an exception for her, I was just bisexual.” —Christin H., 33.

3. “I was probably 12 when I realized I had feelings for both men and women. However, I didn’t understand what that feeling was. I was always very intimidated by other girls in my grade, and I never understood why—but looking back, it was definitely because I was attracted to them and shoved that to the side. My senior year of college though, I was crushing hard on one of my friends and it was very apparent to me what that actually meant.” —Laurel F., 24

4. “I don’t know if there was a specific moment… it was more a short period of time in which I realized I had my first crush on a girl—but in a way that I thought was normal until I understood not all people felt that way.” —Lauren R., 21

5. “I identified as straight until I was 29. There was one summer when I developed a crush on three women, and one of them ended up being my first girlfriend. We dated for three years. I didn’t really label my sexuality at that point, but knew I wasn’t straight anymore. After that relationship, I dated somebody who was trans and non-binary, so I started learning more about bisexuality and started to embrace that I’m attracted to people of many genders.” —Cally I, 35

6. “I realized at probably 13 that I might like girls when my best friend at the time got her first boyfriend and I felt so heartbroken and jealous. I always just accepted that I could be attracted to both men and women, and haven’t questioned it since!” —Samantha R., 25

7. “I knew deep down that I was bisexual since puberty, as I was fantasizing about women—even though I had always been attracted to boys from a very early age. So when I got to high school, I started experimenting with girls. Throughout school, I was hazed by other gay friends of mine that insisted I was a lesbian, but I knew I wasn’t. Eventually, I met my now husband. Coming out to him was the hardest thing I have ever done, but the most liberating.” —Becky B., 27

8. “I was 20 or 21 when I came to terms with it. I was on a bus and a hot girl came on and I thought, ‘I’m probably gay, that’s it.’ Then a hot guy came on and I was like, ‘Woah, pretty sure lesbians are not this attracted to men.’ So then came the light bulb moment where I realized I was bi and there was no explanation needed.” —Lorenna L., 23

9. “I always had boyfriends when I was younger, but I think that was because I knew that’s what girls were supposed to do. I’ve definitely always liked men and women, but I didn’t realize my feelings toward women until my friends bought me a Paris Hilton CD and when I saw her on the cover, I was like, ‘Oh, shit, I like girls too.'” —Laura C., 23

10. “I went to an all girl’s school and in 8th grade, I was standing in line behind one of my best friends for a Halloween haunted house. She was dressed as Michael Jackson in a white dress shirt and black pants. I felt incredibly attracted to her and realized in that moment I liked girls as much as guys.” —Jayne S., 33

11. “I fell in love with a woman at 18, but I didn’t feel comfortable with the idea that all my dating relationships up to that point were merely compulsory. Realizing that neither the straight, nor the gay/lesbian labels fit me was my first experience as a member of a marginalized group. Then, I joined a community for bisexual women and the group shaped me personally and professionally. My first marriage was to a man and my second and now current marriage is with a woman.” —Alison B., 45

12. “There wasn’t one specific moment when I realized I was bisexual, but I think I realized it when I was 17. I had been dating this guy, but I found myself clinging to his best friend. She and I would make out occasionally, but I told myself it was just to get the attention of guys around us. Eventually, I realized I had a crush on her. When I look back at that moment, I felt relief. I finally had a word to describe the way I adored other women when I was younger.” —Abbey B., 22

13. “There were hints throughout my life—my love the The L Word, my involvement in gay rights, the way I couldn’t keep my eyes to myself when I was at the beach and girls were in bikinis. I was finally able to admit to myself when I went to a strip club and sat at the rack and was like, ‘Yup, I’m bi.’ I made an OkCupid profile shortly after and then started coming out to my friends and family.” —Tabby T., 30

14. “I first knew I was bisexual when I was 17. I was supposed to visit my friend at her house on the weekend and she called me to tell me who was going. She told me her twin sister was bringing her girlfriend, but I was a little surprised to know she had a girlfriend. I asked my friend about it because I had always known her sister to be the ‘boy crazy’ type, and she nonchalantly said her sister was bisexual. I thought about the conversation all week and realized that was the word I had been looking for my whole life.” —Sam G., 21

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Is There Really A Difference Between Expensive Vodka And Cheap Vodka?

Walk in to just about any bar in America today and you’ll see a row of fancy vodka bottles all lined up. Some people swear by one brand or another, but there is a federal law that requires all vodkas to be pretty much the same, so the Planet Money team decided to test them.

AILSA CHANG, HOST:

Walk into just about any bar in America today, and you’ll see a row of fancy vodka bottles all lined up, shining like beacons. Some people swear by one brand or another, but there is a federal law that requires all vodkas to be pretty much the same. That got our Planet Money team thinking, is this the greatest marketing coups of all time? So they teamed up with Dan Pashman of the food podcast The Sporkful, to put fancy vodka to the test.

DAN PASHMAN, BYLINE: Let’s start with Title 27, Section 5.22 of the Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms Code.

PASHMAN: I got it right here. It says that vodka must be distilled or treated until it is, quote, “without distinctive character, aroma, taste or color.” Of course it tastes like vodka, but it wouldn’t be vodka if it had distinctive character. Still, a lot of vodka makers insist their flavor’s superior. Grey Goose calls itself the world’s best-tasting vodka. It’s a big claim, which is no surprise if you know anything about the guy who invented it.

MATTHEW LATKIEWICZ: Sidney Frank – he is a classic American businessman and almost a cliche. He came from nothing, poor. He went to Brown. But he only went to Brown for one year because he couldn’t afford it.

PASHMAN: This is Matthew Latkiewicz. He’s a drinks writer and author of “You Suck At Drinking.” He says Sidney Frank was just determined to strike it rich. Frank married into a wealthy family, which got him into the liquor business. Now, back in the early ’90s, the fanciest vodka around was Absolut. But by today’s standards, it wasn’t that expensive. And that’s what Sidney Frank focused on – not the taste of Absolut but the price.

LATKIEWICZ: He essentially out of thin air goes, I want to make a vodka. So Absolut’s charging 15. I’ll charge 30. He didn’t even have a product at this point.

PASHMAN: But he already knew he was going to charge double. And to do that, he needed a product that screamed luxury.

LATKIEWICZ: It’s got to be the best. Everything that is the best comes from France. So he goes to France, and he looks around for distillers. He says, can you make vodka? He finds somebody that says, yes, of course I can make vodka.

PASHMAN: Frank sent his product to bartenders but not in cardboard boxes like vodka is usually shipped.

LATKIEWICZ: He would give them the bottle in these – a wooden box with straw inside and nicely packaged. It would be this large, clear bottle with the frosted glass that when you put it up on the back bar would catch whatever light was there, and it would kind of glow.

PASHMAN: The whole plan worked. Sidney Frank died a very rich man. He sold Grey Goose to Bacardi less than 10 years after he started it for more than $2 billion. At the Planet Money team, we thought that sounded so easy. Can we make our own premium vodka? We learned that a lot of companies actually buy a vodka concentrate in bulk from a handful of suppliers. Then they just add water. So we’ve got a hold of a sample, brought it here into the studio…

(SOUNDBITE OF LIQUID POURING)

PASHMAN: …Added some water…

PASHMAN: …And sent it to a lab along with a sample of Grey Goose and a sample of some of the cheapest stuff we could find. A few days later, we got a call from Neva Parker. She’s the vice president at White Labs in San Diego. She ran our vodkas through what they call a comprehensive spirits test.

Based on that information, Neva, which of these three vodkas would you suspect should be the cheapest, least-desirable vodka?

NEVA PARKER: If I had to choose based on this analysis alone, I would say number one.

PASHMAN: That was the Grey Goose. And the ultra luxury choice…

PARKER: Number three.

PASHMAN: Number three was the cheap stuff. Now, to be fair, Neva did say the differences in all three samples weren’t anything most people were going to taste. She compared the reports.

PARKER: I mean, look at these. They all look very similar as well.

PASHMAN: Very similar – we did talk to Grey Goose. Their global brand ambassador, Joe McCanta, took issue with our test.

JOE MCCANTA: Obviously our product was decanted into another bottle. And when that happens, it kind of compromises, you know, our understanding of any testing that’s done on the product afterwards.

PASHMAN: He also argued that the odorless, tasteless law is more about distinguishing true vodka from vodkas that have stuff like fruit and sugar added. Pure vodka is its own category.

MCCANTA: Every vodka within the category will have its own characteristics, which would be largely attributed to the raw materials used to make the spirit or even the process used while distilling the spirit. So yeah, that’s definitely our take on it. And that’s why – you know, that’s why we feel very proud of our process and our ingredients.

PASHMAN: So our one lab didn’t detect any taste-able differences even with our homemade vodka. And the law seems pretty clear to us. But Grey Goose insists there is a difference. They also invited us to come have a drink with them. We are willing to continue our research. For NPR News, I’m Dan Pashman, host of The Sporkful food podcast.

 

 

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Another Life – Chapter 32

https://lapetitemort17.wordpress.com/?p=445

 

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5 Ways to Flirt With Your Soul to Attract Your Soulmate

Many people are out in the world hoping to find their soulmate. They want to find the person who will fit into their lives amazingly. They want to find that ever-elusive “One True Love” that evades them.

When you’re out in a bar and flirting with the person next to you, how do you know if you’re even doing it right? Is what you’re doing even attracting the right people? The answer depends: are you flirting with your soul?

It sounds complicated, and it can be, but speaking with your very being and soul is what draws the right people in and keeps the wrong people out. Here are some ways to flirt with your soul to attract your soulmate.

5 Ways To Flirt With Your Soul To Attract Your Soulmate

1. Practice Honesty

Honesty is the best policy when it comes to flirting with your soul. Anything founded on lies or half-truths will come back to bite you at the end of the day. Besides, how can you use your soul if you’re masking what it contains? Here are some ways you need to be honest to flirt with your soul.

· Be Honest With Yourself

Flirting with your soul involves knowing yourself well, and the only way to do so is to be honest with yourself. A lot of times, people fear who they are without realizing it, so they ignore their innermost voices in favor of avoiding personal introspection.

That’s why it’s important to be honest with yourself. You have to be confident in yourself, and in order to do so, you have to know yourself and be real about it! So be proud of who you are, practice positive thinking, and know that at the end of the day, your authentic stuff is more than enough!

· With The People You Flirt With

A lot of people embellish their lives and personalities when flirting with new people. This sets the stage for disappointment, a lack of trust, and other issues as you go on.

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t put your best foot forward – you should always do that! – it just means that you shouldn’t pretend to be someone you’re not to attract others. Your real soulmate will like you just as you are, and may even deem your dishonest self a less-than-suitable match.

· With Your Relationship Desires

There is definitely a line to be drawn regarding reasonable expectations, but that doesn’t mean you cannot go after certain desires, even if they are not the most conventional.

Unfortunately, many people believe that wanting certain things out of a relationship is “greedy” – but it isn’t greedy or shallow to want certain things out of your lifelong partner. For example, you may want a partner who:

  • Aims to travel with you often
  • Loves social gatherings or is extroverted
  • Will cook for the family
  • Has certain political leanings or opinions that align with yours
  • Is a vegetarian, vegan, or has a dietary plan similar to yours

You have to be honest with yourself and what you want. Before you attempt to find your soulmate, take time to determine what you really, truly want in a relationship.

Essentially, don’t settle! Don’t model your desires after successful relationships around you, as every relationship is unique and different. This will prevent discontentment down the line.

Be true to yourself, your desires, and who you are; in this way, seek to forge honest, real connections with others. That’s how you flirt with your soul, and it’s how your soulmate will be drawn to you!

2. Love Yourself and Heal Yourself

It’s important to work on yourself and focus on self-love, instead of searching for someone to help you heal. Not only is seeking a soulmate to make you whole a toxic way to begin a relationship, it likely won’t actually attract a real soulmate.

Of course, the concept of needing to love yourself before someone else can love you is a bit of an exaggeration, but at its root, it’s a good concept to follow. If you’re overly critical of yourself and who you are, you send out bad vibes and negative energy that will repel your soulmate – and everyone else, for that matter.

Self-love is easier than it sounds, though. So here are some ways that you can work in this area!

· Forgive Yourself

It’s not unusual for someone to be extremely hard on themselves. You might feel like your past wrongdoings mean you have to punish yourself forever. You might be stuck in the past due to moments where you messed up.

But you need to learn to be kind to yourself and be forgiving of your past. You can’t grow without making errors along the way; the best thing you can do is learn from those errors, apply the lessons to your life, and move on.

Remember that there is no such thing as failure, as those failures are only stepping stones to success. Learn to take each failure in a positive way, and you’ll be able to do the same for others.

· Work On Healing

Old wounds can make it difficult to move forward. It can cause you to form protective habits to prevent yourself from being hurt again, without truly understanding the wounds you’ve sustained.

Take a moment to examine your so-called emotional baggage. Take a look at areas of your life and behavior that are affected by this baggage. Recognize where your issues come from; then let yourself understand them.

Realize that these problems do not dictate your future and that you can incorporate positive habits to prevent them. Allow yourself to heal and give yourself permission to be happy. Believe that the rest will follow.

· Prioritize Self-Love

Treat yourself well every single day. Listen to your body and mind and what it wants. Be gentle with your mistakes. Do what you can do be happy.

It can feel like an uphill battle at first, but soon, little positive affirmations, moments of kindness, and your self-love habits will become natural to you. You’ll really, truly love yourself more and more every day, opening the door for others to love you.

· Do Self-Care

Everyone needs a break, even go-getters like you! Make sure that your own needs are being met regularly. Treat yourself once in a while and let yourself feel pampered. It’ll do wonders for your mental health!

At the end of the day, loving yourself is attractive. It creates confidence, and your positive thinking will shine through with a bright energy that draws others in. That’s how you can flirt with your soul!

3. Pay Attention To Silence

There is a lot that can be said in silence, often more so than you can hear in audible words. Your connection to a soulmate will occur without the noise – you’ll feel it in the energy, in the air, and intuitively.

Here are some ways to learn to appreciate silence when you’re flirting with your soul to draw your soulmate in.

· Body Language

Nonverbal language makes up a huge portion of communication. If you ignore this, you might miss out on some interesting cues from a soulmate, such as:

  • Expressions
  • Gestures
  • Posture

On top of that, understanding nonverbal language will allow you to be more in control of yours so you can use it effectively when flirting!

· Eyes

Someone’s eyes say a lot about them. Some even say that they’re the window to the soul. Practice good, healthy eye contact when flirting and appreciate what you notice in the other person. Maybe there’s a spark there only you can see!

· Exist

Sometimes, all you have to do is take a step back, breathe in, and allow yourself to exist in a space. Even in a party or large social gathering, learn to appreciate the sounds of the world around you without actively participating all the time.

With a soulmate, you’ll enjoy many comfortable minutes of silence. Even when in a crowded room, you’ll be drawn to each other and will be able to exist in your own private world together. It’s a magical feeling to experience with one another, and in order to get there, you have to learn to be happy with silence.

4. Be True To Who You Are

Your soulmate will be attracted to who you really, truly are. They’re not going to be drawn in by your masks and embellishments. They’re not going to notice you when you tone yourself down to hide your perceived “weird” traits or preferences.

As we mentioned earlier, it’s very easy to fall into the trap of embellishing your life and putting on a mask when flirting. You want others to like you, so you shift into what you think they want – and, often, you get it wrong anyway.

If your goal is to attract your soulmate; other people who don’t like who you are don’t matter. They won’t be a big part of your life, and they definitely aren’t expecting you to change.

So don’t be afraid to be yourself, to be unique, and to be “weird.” Wear the outfits you love, even if your friends say they dampen your chances. Talk about your passions, even the ones others might scoff to hear about. Express yourself boldly and confidently, and even people who don’t like you will have to respect your self-assuredness.

It’s exhausting to wear any kind of mask. To be yourself is the ultimate way to flirt with your soul to attract your soulmate. Don’t put on fake personalities for others – wear your own proudly, and let those who are drawn to you be drawn further in.

5. Have Faith In The Journey

A lot of times, people are so focused on the end goal – finding a soulmate – that they forget how amazing the journey can be. A soulmate relationship is just like any other – it’s a relationship, and you need to be in a good place in your life to sustain it.

Trust that the universe is conspiring to make that happen perfectly. Don’t rush it, don’t force it, and don’t become discouraged. Put your faith in the whole process and continue to learn and grow every day. One day, as you flirt from your soul, your soulmate will find you, and you will find them.

Final Thoughts On Some Ways To Flirt With Your Soul To Attract Your Soulmate

Flirting with your soul is an art, and it takes practice. But by being honest, being yourself, and loving who you are, you’ll find that it’s not too hard to grasp. So relax and enjoy the moment. Who knows? Your soulmate might be just around the corner.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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