Tales of Rock – Jimi Hendrix’s Guitar Got Him Kicked Out of the Army

In a lot of ways, Jimi Hendrix’s 13 month long stint in the Army in the early 60’s was a lot like his later music career, by which we mean he spent most of it playing guitar, taking drugs and sleeping till noon. You may notice that all three of those things, while undeniably rock and roll, are generally things the Army frowns upon, which is why Hendrix was eventually discharged for, among other things, masturbating in a toilet.

Before we talking about anything else we feel it’s important to reiterate that nothing in that opening paragraph was made up and that yes, Jimi Hendrix was once busted jacking it something fierce in a dank-ass porta-potty by a man in military fatigues. While most normal places of employment would consider catching an employee stroking the sausage on the shitter a fairly understandable reason to fire that person, the U.S. Army apparently felt differently and forgave this transgression and dozens others during Hendrix’s short military career.

Along with overlooking him going to town on his dick while he was supposed to be on duty, Hendrix’s commanding officer didn’t seem to mind all the time she regularly found him sleeping on the job or sneaking out to go drink in bars.

While Hendrix was certainly punished for his thousands of mistakes, reports from his time in the Army note that virtually nothing seemed to deter his behavior and that he seemed thoroughly disinterested in serving his country. Which isn’t all that surprising when you consider the only reason Hendrix joined the Army in the first place is because he was given a choice at 19 of going to prison or dicking around in the Army for 3 years when he was caught stealing cars. In fact, when you think of it like that, it almost seems like Hendrix was intentionally acting out in the hope he’d get kicked out of the Army early, kind of like the plot of Police Academy with more guitar solos.

According to his official Army file, while it was a culmination of his dozens of antics that eventually resulted in his honorable discharge from the Army, yes the guy who polished his penis in a toilet was discharged from the military honorably, his commanding officers cited his constant guitar playing as a major contributing factor.

In fact, Hendrix’s obsession with playing guitar was such that one senior officer, Captain Gilbert Batchman, wrote in his official discharge letter that he genuinely suspected that Hendrix simply couldn’t function properly while thinking about his guitar. Which we’re wholly inclined to agree with considering how Hendrix literally carried a guitar with him wherever he went and once carried a broom around for a year as a child pretending it was a guitar when his family couldn’t afford to buy him one.

In the end, after just 13 months of what was supposed to be a 3 year stint in the military, Hendrix was discharged because it was agreed by everyone that they guy who slept on the job, frequently wandered off without permission and slapped his junk around at inopportune moments probably wasn’t “Army material”.

 

 

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Renegade – 1978 to 1979 – Chapter 2 – Rats In The Cellar

(Photo: Jerry Demara – 1979 playing a blonde 1976 Fender Stratocaster – rosewood neck -post CBS production through a 50 watt Stage amplifier)

So the boys come over and start getting their gear set up. I’m introduced to the drummer Jack Dingler. Jerry wasn’t very fond of Jack but I don’t know exactly why. I think he just thought the guy was a moron that didn’t really gel with the band. (What band?)

Jack is setting up his drums and Jerry is tuning up his 1975 post CBS blonde Fender Stratocaster. Larry is over by the bar noodling on his bass. Oh let me describe my basement. Let’s start by using the photo of Jerry above. Let’s pretend you are taking that photo and are standing right in front of Jerry.

The red triangle in the upper left portion of the photo is the steps leading upstairs. Below that you’ll see a black and white early promo photo of a young Aerosmith. I bought that glossy print in a shop on the Wildwood boardwalk the summer before. (I still have that photo framed behind my desk at home. (Along with b&w 8″x10″s of Farrah Fawcett, Charlie’s Angels and Jeff Buckley) Below that is a centerfold photo of Steven Tyler I ripped out of either Creem or Circus magazine. (The two most popular music mags of the 70’s) Below that is bookcase that held my father’s books. (That’s the first time I ever saw an issue of Playboy. He used to stash them under books at the bottom!) All the way behind him is a closet under the stairs. That’s one of the places my parents used to hide our Christmas presents. My dad would put a playing card between the edge of the door and the jam high up on the door. If he came down the basement and saw the card on the floor, he’d know some little kids were rooting around looking for presents and he would move the gifts to a safer location. Behind his guitar you can see his Stage amplifier on a small table. I believe it had two ten inch speakers in it. That thing could roar. He also used a distortion pedal called a Univox Super Fuzz, to get that heavy rock sound. Also behind him is his open flight case for his guitar with its soft orange plush interior form fitted to hold his guitar firmly in place during transit. Further back against the wall is obviously a dartboard. That green wrapped object in the foreground is the corner of our pool table. (Yea, awesome to have in a band space) On top of that looks like my vocal speaker. It’s actually a speaker that is an auditorium speaker for a movie projector. (My dad lent it to me.) That covers everything in the photo so if we move off to the right along that back wall there is an old green sofa big enough to comfortably seat four to five Catholic schoolgirls. (This is how it starts… I’ll get to that later)

Past the sofa on the right was a grey filing cabinet that my dad kept his files and papers in. He also kept his service revolver locked in there. I’d only seen it a couple of times. I don’t like guns. On the next wall was a door that led to concrete steps that rose up to two green metal doors. The classic tilted metal basement doors that you could open up and they stood open. So we could get some fresh air if we needed to or just let the music flow outside to draw in the little birdies.

Next to the basement door, was a fake fireplace. It really was just a place for my dad to put one of the speakers to his stereo on the mantle. On the next wall next to that were two translucent windows. One near his black wooden desk. (Off Limits) next to that on the right was his record player/stereo. Along the back wall was the bar. The bar had come with the house.My parents weren’t big drinkers at all, but when they were younger they’d entertain down there. It was a beautiful little bar and I remember my dad always had colored mini Christmas lights along the ceiling above it be cause he loved Christmas.

That’s where Larry stood and played his bass.

Heading to the front there was a bathroom with a and beyond that, the washer and dryer and a fridge in the front of the basement. So basically we had the space to ourselves and we were in the best part of the cellar.

Jerry hands me some lyric sheets and a set list. They include: Feel Like the First Time, School’s Out, Cold Gin, God of Thunder, Come Together, Cat Scratch Fever, Seasons of Wither, Train Kept a Rollin’ and a few others I’ll probably remember as I write this.

Appropriately enough the first song we rehearsed was “Feels Like The First Time” by Foreigner. My sister Janice had purchased that record when it came out. It kind of amazes me, that My father and my older sister turned me on to some of the best rock music in my life. My dad, Iron Butterfly, Steppenwolf, The Beatles and The Who. Sister Janice, gave me Aerosmith, Foreigner, Boston, The Cars, Kansas and many more.

We had a lot of the music on records that the guys wanted to play, so we’d play the record first. I’d sing along and get the rhythm and feel of the number and the guys would play along a bit.

We went through a few songs and I could feel it starting to gel. It was fun and felt so good. I was the fresh blood this band needed.

I was the 16-year-old loser who never got guitar lessons because he wasn’t discipled enough. I was the artistic kid with bad skin, and braces and greasy hair and stupid clothes and pilgrim shoes. A living target. A joy for all of th bullies in the neighborhood.

But that was over now. The older boys in the neighborhood loved rock and I was going to make some myself. May be they wouldn’t pick on me anymore. My skin was clearer, my hair was growing out long and blonde, I was lean and better looking. My braces were off and I was in a BAND. I wore jeans, and boots and sunglasses. May be I could be cool too.

I didn’t know who the hell I was, I just wanted to do music. Music and art was the only thing that never hurt me. I could create it and it always brought me joy. Jerry and Larry had no idea that they were saving me from myself.

Things were changing.

 

 

 

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Celebrity Sightings: Farrah Fawcett – 1947 to 2009 – Life Uncovered – Part 2

Whether it was because of her acting and modeling, or her million dollar smile, Farrah will forever remain an icon and we will always remember her. Here are some secrets that you might not know about the blonde bombshell.

Unrecognizable

In a Vanity Fair article, it was reported that Ryan O’Neal, Farrah’s longtime partner, was furious at her before she died because she couldn’t recognize him and kept calling him Steve. Allegedly, Steve is the name of her dealer.

The Origin Of Farrah’s Name

Fawcett once said that her famous name “Farrah” was actually “made up” by her mother, Pauline Alice Fawcett, because it went well with their last name. Another theory behind the well-known name is that her father, James William Fawcett, reportedly thought it would suit her as it’s the Arabic word for “joy.” The spelling of the name which was originally, Farih, was switched after Pauline reportedly asked to change the spelling to “Farrah.” Thank goodness she did!

W. B. Ray High School’s Most Beautiful

Born and raised in Corpus Christi, Texas, Fawcett’s early education was at the parish school of the church her family attended, which was St. Patrick’s Roman Catholic Church. After grade school, Fawcett attended W. B. Ray High School in Corpus Christi, where she graduated from and was voted “most beautiful” by her classmates during all four years. We can’t blame them, after all, Fawcett was clearly quite the stunner. Farrah was also on her high school’s cheerleading squad.

New Girl On Campus

In 1965, Fawcett enrolled at the University of Texas in Austin, where she planned to study microbiology, but later decided to change her major to art with a focus in sculpting. Farrah opted for off campus housing and lived at Madison House on 22nd Street. During Fawcett’s freshman year, she was named one of the “Ten Most Beautiful Coeds On Campus,” becoming the first freshman in the school’s history to be chosen. Their photos were then sent to various agencies in Hollywood.

College Dropout

After receiving photos from her school David Mirisch, a Hollywood agent, called Farrah and pleaded with her to fly to Los Angeles. Although she turned him down, Mirisch persisted and called her for the next two years. Finally, in the summer of 1968, following her junior year, Fawcett’s parents gave her permission to try her luck in Hollywood and she moved to California. Although this jump-started Farrah’s career, she unfortunately became labeled as a college drop out.

She Didn’t Use A Mirror

In 1976, Pro Arts Inc. requested Farrah for a photo shoot with photographer Bruce McBroom. While getting ready for the shoot, Fawcett styled her own hair and did her makeup without any help or even a mirror! She enhanced her blonde highlights by squeezing lemon juice into her hair. From 40 rolls of film, Fawcett selected six of her favorite pictures and eventually the choice was narrowed to the one which made her famous. The resulting poster, of Fawcett in a one-piece red bathing suit.

The Famous Red Bathing Suit

The red one-piece bathing suit Fawcett wore in her famous 1976 poster was donated to the Smithsonian’s National Museum of American History on February 2, 2011. The eye-catching swimsuit was designed by CFDA Award-winning fashion designer Norma Kamali and was donated to the Smithsonian by Farrah’s executors. It was Farrah’s longtime companion Ryan O’Neal however, who formally presented the bathing suit to NMAH in Washington, D.C. It’s now on display and can be viewed by the public.

Famous Tennis Partners

Farrah and her ex-husband, television star Lee Majors, were frequent tennis partners with producer Aaron Spelling the man who cast Farrah in the production which made her a star. Spelling and his executives chose Fawcett to play Jill Munroe in their television show, Charlie’s Angels, which aired on ABC on March 21, 1976. The show starred Fawcett, Kate Jackson, and Jaclyn Smith as P.I’s for Townsend Associates, a detective agency run by a multi-millionaire whom the women had never met.

Distance Didn’t Make Their Hearts Grow Fonder

Because her former husband, Lee Majors, was already the star of an established TV show (ABC’s Six Million Dollar Man, which aired from 1974 to 1978) they were both very busy. This ended up putting a strain on their marriage due to filming schedules that kept them apart for long periods of time. The distance was frequently cited as the reason for their split but, Fawcett’s ambition to further her acting abilities in films has also been rumored to be an explanation.

The Inevitable End

Farrah started dating Lee Majors during the late 1960’s. It seemed like a blooming affair that went by the book – they dated for years before finally tying the knot in 1973, and their highly publicized marriage was just short of hitting the 10 years mark. In an interview Lee gave to Fox411 many years later, he explained: “It was quite the extreme. It was probably like Brad and Jennifer when they were together. The press was all over us. Naturally, we really couldn’t go anywhere.”

I just found this while doing research for this series! Check it out!

 

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Sun Stories – Lily – Nice to Meet You… Finally – Chapter 4

I press on…

“What’s happening currently in you life?”

“Is the food good here?”

“The food’s great here. I know the chef personally. He’s amazing.”

Lily orders a salad and the calamari. She responds to my question.

“I met this amazing Chinese guy on Tinder. He’s amazing. Good school. Studying to be a heart surgeon. He’s really far along. Self made. His dad was a cook. Classic come to America and kick the dream and make it. He’s so good. He takes me on really good dates. Always fun, great restaurants. He’s so nice to me. Gives me back massages. He’s really a wonderful man. 5’10” and in great shape. Hot. I love him.”

“Sex?”

“No. Not yet. He’s super busy with school and his career. I only see him like twice a month.”

“I have something like that now Lily, and I love it. I like the separation and the alone time. All of my relations have failed because I got to close.”

“He’s so great. So thoughtful. He can deal with me in whatever mood I’m in. He’s so great and I adore being with him. We’ve slept together but never had sex yet. We’ve seen each other naked but it just hasn’t happened yet.”

“He’s a virgin?”

“Oh shit. I thought that too but he says he’s not.”

“I love this guy for you but no guy is going to admit that at his age. He’ll probably rub his penis into your navel and you’ll be like, dude, you have to go south to get to the magic kingdom.”

“But he’s so great. He does all of the right things. I love him and he’s really fit too.”

“He sounds amazing, Lily. I’m really rooting for him in your life. I don’t even care if he’s a virgin which it sounds like he totally is, you’ll rock his fucking world.”

“I love him!”

“I’m a huge fan too. Pursue this relationship with Chinese Heart Doctor guy. I like that he’s romantic and sweet to you.”

“I was plowed after the Eagles game on New Years and he was so sweet to me after that at the Philadelphia Orchestra.”

I should tell you, you should never do Orchestra after Eagles game. Different vibe. You probably passed out.”

“I was banged up but he was so sweet to me and managed my drunken self and I really liked that. It’s like he’s more passive and I’m the dominant one in the relationship.”

“Because you’re dating a brilliant future doctor that you should cherish and relieve that boy of his virginity and rock his fucking world, Lily.

You’re a great girl for him. He cherishes you. You’re beautiful and sexy and you’re taking your time with him. That’s all this sweet genius needs. I’m rooting for you guys so hard! I love romance and innocence! Love is the most powerful thing in the universe. Please lean into it as I have in my life. It’s beautiful.”

 

I would love Lily to go forward with this really nice man. I have never met him but I think he’s great. If you’ve been reading this blog you know I like my girls with a touch of evil, so I adore Lily.

I was so happy to meet with her tonight. Lily’s great. Smart, interesting and clever. I meet so many people and I get my energy from the folks I meet. But every once in a while  Lily comes along and the fire burns little brighter that the rest.

It’s nice to bask in the sunlight of her wonderful rays.

“What’s on for the rest of the week, dear?”

“I took tomorrow off because I’m flying to Orlando.”

“How come?”

I have a guy that sent me tickets to come down and see him for in Florida.”

“Oh.”

“I’ve known him since California and he does conferences around the country. I used to totally love him, but I can only go for one day. Just tomorrow.”

“Are you going to sleep with him?”

“Yea, totally. But I’m only going for the day, because I can’t take that much time off from work.”

“Okay… Well have a safe trip and please don’t screw it up with Chinese heart surgeon guy that I love.”

“I won’t. Florida guy paid for my air fair and is going to give me more money.”

“How much?”

“He didn’t say. I know I’m staying at the Disney Swan.”

“Okay. sounds fun. Just be safe.”

“I talk to my mom about what I do.”

“Really?”

“She sees it as me dating rich guys and them wining and dining me and is okay with it.”

“Do you tell your mother that all of these men are married and are cheating on their wives to be with you?”

I watch my beautiful Lily pause. I can see why she is irresistible to these men. She’s smart, sexy, and absolutely beautiful.

“No… I didn’t mention that to my mom.”

I love a person that customizes the truth. Because that’s how we all deal with our realities.

Even me.

“Thank you for your time Lily. I really want you to come back to the salon to tan.”

She has to go home and pack for Orlando.

We get the bill and there are no drinks on the check. (Fucking yea, Roman) Just drank for free. But he has no control over the food so the bill was $25.

Lily is impressed by my power.

I pay the bill and drop a $20 tip for Roman because he’s amazing.

I notice that during this encounter, that it has played out in a very specific way. Baby showed up this time. She was on point. On time. I was happy to feed her and give her drinks. Lily was amazing and very revealing.

More than I could have expected.

I hope the next time I see her, (If there is a next time) She wants to eat some delicious gelato with her.

I cash out and realize that Lily will never kick in on the bill because she’s a sugar baby.

I relish in the fact that I got to be a sugar daddy to this sweet lovely girl. Lily trusted me enough to meet me for drinks to help feed my blog, but stayed true to her creed. The bill came and it was my sole responsibility. Of course it was.

I turned to her and felt it. I got to spend time with this brilliant wonderful woman, but that came at a price. Even though I’m not in her world, I have to pay when I hang with Lily. It’s automatic. I was happy to be her guy tonight.

I liked that she made the time to meet with me and made me pay. I like it. Lily is a woman who’s doing her own thing and even if you want to interview her for your blog it’s going to cost you.

Well played and I actually like the feeling,

Can’t wait to see you again Lily.

I walked her all the way home to her apartment.

I text her that I had gotten home safe and I was so happy to meet her

She said she’d swing by the salon soon.

I finally got to hang out with this extraordinary lady.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every dayat 8am & 12pm EST.

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Alicia – Bar Owner

After the 3 part Cherie series last week, I wanted to give everyone a little break from me and my girlfriend. So here’s a story from my past to entertain you until my next encounter with Cherie.

I had recently gotten divorced back in 2001 and one of my friends decided to hook me up with Alicia who was about 10 years younger than me and “Owned a bar”. (Love her already!) She drove a super nice car and wore clothes much nicer than mine, so I figured she was a little high maintenance or just a successful bar owner.

We meet at a party and she’s awesome, super pretty, fun, and says she LOVES TO PLAY POKER in Atlantic City. This is great because I said we should go play some time. We hit it off great and make plans to go the next weekend.

The next weekend rolls around and I meet her at her house (Borderline mansion), and I drive us down to AC. It’s about 45 minutes/miles to AC. We chat and have a great time the entire way. We also make the agreement that whatever we both win we split. If I win $500 and she wins $700 it’s $600 for the both of us.

We get there and I pull out $600 from the ATM to sit and play cash, strangely she doesn’t pull out anything so I assume she brought cash. Before we even make it to the poker pit she says “Let’s play some slots”…. Now I HATE slots and think they’re for suckers but I’m not above dropping a bill for fun so we sit down and I open my wallet. She snatches a bill…. $500 left… which after a couple of max bets is GONE… I say, “Lets go” and she says “Let me try one more time” and I go to check my wallet for anything less than a $100 bill…. she snatches another…. Now I’m down to $400.

Now I know damn well looking back I should have called bullshit right then and there but I was young and she was hot. I’ve always had a weakness for beauty.

She drains the hundred and we proceed to the poker pit. Right at the entrance I pull out my wallet to get my $400 to sit and like a fucking ninja she snatches $200 and says, “I’m gonna play slots while you play poker” and is gone before I can say anything!!!

I am seething mad but also a pretty good poker player.  I sit with the table minimum of $200 and quickly make back the $400 she took plus $200. She comes back like an hour later and says, “look what I won with that $200 and has a slip for $700!! I snatch it as soon as she shows me. I cash out my $800 and head to the cashier with $800 in chips and the $700 ticket from her. $1500 isn’t looking bad.

I cash everything and hand her $450… half of the $900 after I recoup my $600 that I withdrew. I’m met with “Whoa, Whoa, Whoa! Where’s my $750?!?!”

There was no explaining that we were splitting everything we WON and that I recouped my $600 and split the $900 that remained. Alicia’s screaming mad and keeps telling me that it’s not fair and I’m screwing her etc.

I have no clue what to do…. we’re in Atla,ntic City 45 minutes from home and she’s coming undone at the seams in front of god and everybody. This is the point I decide to nut up and just start walking to my car with her SCREAMING in tow.

We get to the car and it’s the longest most awkward drive home. 45 minutes of dead silence (which wasn’t that bad considering her yelling before!) and we reach her place. I stop and she looks at me and says “I hope you weren’t planning on coming in and getting fucked.”

Deadpanned, I reply “You’ve been fucking me all night, I think I’ve had enough.”

Come to find out, mommy and daddy owned the house, car and bar. Alicia was a part-time bar-back while going to school.

I hate my friends.

 

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Tales of Rock – Led Zeppelin are Thieving Bastards

Led Zeppelin are remembered for two things: banging a groupie with a mudshark and recording songs that rocked harder than any band had ever rocked before. Too bad a bunch of that shit was stolen.

Don’t believe us? Well, here’s a whole laundry list of songs they stole; but if the words of a dawn-of-the-Internet era website aren’t enough to convince you, consider their classic song “Dazed and Confused.”

A young Jake Holmes played a song of the same name (and chords, and lyrics kind of) at a show in 1967 where he was opening for The Yardbirds, who featured–say it with us!– Jimmy Page on guitar. “Dazed and Confused” became a mainstay of The Yardbirds live sets and eventually found its way onto Zep’s 1969 debut album, where it was credited to… nobody. Holmes never took legal action but he did eventually send Page a letter asking for acknowledgement and maybe a little gas money if he could spare it (he could). The letter went unanswered.

But who cares, right? We’re talking about Led Zeppelin here. The band who wrote “Stairway to Heaven” man! It’s the most popular song in the history of sound! It’s the song that was playing on the van stereo when your father shot the load that would become you into your mother’s moist and eager lady parts! That one song is enough to secure the legacy of 10 bands!

Too bad they jacked that shit too. The opening notes (and easily the most recognizable part) of “Stairway” were taken almost note-for-note from a song called “Taurus” by Spirit. Spirit was a band they opened for in the late sixties.

How did nobody notice that? Because nobody knows who the hell Spirit is. But for the record, Led Zeppelin opened for Spirit on their first U.S. tour, so it’s safe to assume they were familiar with the band. Repaying an opening spot on a tour of the States by stealing a guitar riff is sad, but what’s even sadder is that Spirit’s guitarist, the awesomely named Randy California, knew exactly where “Stairway to Heaven” came from but was too nice of a guy to say anything – he just wanted them to say “Thank you.”

They never did.

Check this out:

http://forums.ledzeppelin.com/index.php?/topic/12956-the-thieving-magpies/

 

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Dating and Relationship Advice – 3 Ways Your Relationship Changes After Your First Fight

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At the beginning of a relationship, everything is a rose garden. Your partner is perfect in your eyes, and you are perfect in theirs. When you have your first fight in a relationship, that glossy image that you have constructed falls and shatters. In its place, you see the person whom you are actually dating. In the shock of this reality, they might not even seem that appealing anymore. You might feel the urge to gain space from the relationship, or they might be the one to ask for distance. But eventually, no matter how much space you try to place between yourself and the other, eventually, you’re going to have to face facts: The person you are dating is a flawed human. Are you going to stick around?

It’s actually this first fight that will make or break the relationship, as the two of you will learn whether or not you actually want to be together. Once the dust settles, and healing words have been exchanged, you are faced with a choice: Are you in or are you out? Whatever you decide is best for you will be the right option. Some relationships simply weren’t supposed to last.

If you’re in, you’ll find that’s when things really start to get interesting. After your first fight in a relationship, here’s what changes:

1. You Lose All Sense Of Fear

I don’t know about you, but the beginning of a new relationship is always super fraught with anxiety for me. Abandonment issues crop up. I’m worried that anything I do that is unattractive will be a deal breaker for the relationship. I stress about the future and obsess over what is or isn’t happening in the present.

And then, after a rupture inevitably happens, there’s a sense of relief. This relief exists whether or not the relationship actually withstands the first fight or not. It’s the sense of being seen clearly, flaws and all. It’s the sense of not having an option to pretend anymore.

The first fight in a relationship is humbling, because you are finally able to see who each of you is when you have nothing left to lose anymore. It’s as terrifying as it is beautiful, and as long as your relationship can withstand the conflict, then you’re in a better place than where you started, as far as I’m concerned.

2. You Learn Important Boundaries

At the beginning of a relationship, pretty much anything goes. The two of you are figuring out how you work together, which means that sometimes boundaries you didn’t even know existed get crossed. This crossing is usually what results in a fight in the first place; somebody gets hurt or offended, and suddenly, the differences between you seem vast.

When you choose to cross that distance, it’s because you recognize the other person’s limitations and can respect their boundaries. You understand that these boundaries are what they need to feel happy, healthy, and safe in a relationship. You have a greater understanding of the person who you are planning on journeying through life with, and can develop greater trust in yourself to do right by them. In that way, after experiencing the first fight, you can almost have a confidence boost.

3. You Begin To Grow Together

A rupture happens when you experience the first fight in a relationship. The neat little structure that you built to keep your affection safe opens up, and suddenly your relationship feels more vulnerable and exposed. Believe it or not, this is a good thing. The change that happens after your initial conflict gives you potential for growth.

The truth of the matter is that life is hard, and things can’t stay nice and pleasant all of the time. It’s no good to avoid difficult conversations just to keep the party going. At some point in every relationship, you and your partner are going to be tested. And it’s more than likely that you will be tested more than once.

There’s really no way to pass or fail this test. There aren’t any wrong answers, and there isn’t any reward except for love. And this love will keep coming back to you, whether in this relationship or any other. After your first fight, it makes it that much easier to see the truth of your feelings for one another. And that can never be a bad thing.

 

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