Most people think that being intelligent makes life easier. Unfortunately, being an over-thinker can end up causing more harm than good. When you try to make a decision, you constantly rethink your choices and each risk. Each day, you fight a battle with yourself over what you want and what you will do.
If you also have a good, loving heart, it causes even more problems. Instead of just over-thinking your own choices, you overthink how you interact with everyone around you. You feel anxious and nervous about everything you say. Each time you speak with someone, you worry that you might offend them or unintentionally hurt their feelings. If you are an over-thinker with a kind, loving heart, then you have probably experienced the following things.
1. You Just Want to Be Loved
All of your problems stem from this one statement. You care deeply about the people around you, so you want them to love you back. Each decision is made with the goal of making the world a better place. Unfortunately, this means that you can easily be taken advantage of. People realize that you will do anything for them, so they turn to you whenever they need help. Sometimes, you choose to remain inside your shell because you are afraid of getting rejected or used by the people you care about.
2. You Care Too Much About What Other People Think
When you care too much about other people, you constantly think about what they want or how they feel. You worry that you might be doing or saying the wrong thing. When someone critiques you, you spend countless hours thinking about what they said. Were they right? Are you doing the wrong thing? Does everyone think that you are a horrible person? Even if they are completely wrong with their criticism, you cannot help over-thinking the matter.
3. It Is Hard for You to Live in the Present
This is a chronic problem with over-thinkers. Because you overthink every decision, you are constantly looking into the past and future. You wonder if you made the right choice before. When you do make a mistake, you dwell on the past and think about how you could do things better.
An over-thinker is also too focused on the future as well. You know that major decisions are coming up, so you constantly think about what you should do. You debate every course of action and the potential benefits. If other people are involved, you strive to think about how your decisions will affect them. Because of your tendency to overthink things and care too much, you can never really live in the present. It feels impossible to enjoy the current moment when you spend so much time dwelling on the past and the future.
4. You Try to Escape From Your Problems
Sometimes, everything becomes just too much for you. Each decision in the past and future has risks, so you have nowhere to turn. Because you keep over-thinking everything, you struggle to just enjoy life. Once you get into this state of mind, your only option is to escape. Whether it is through a bottle of wine or a favorite movie, you find a way to escape your life and forget about everything.
5. You Never Get Enough Sleep
This is another common problem for over-thinkers. Normal people are able to just go to bed and fall asleep. When you try to go to sleep, your mind keeps you awake. You are overwhelmed by all of the thoughts and feelings that race through your brain. Instead of enjoying a good rest, you are thinking about everything that you should have done during the day. You start thinking about what you can do better tomorrow and the steps that you need to take in your life. Before long, you start to feel nervous and anxious. Once you get into this state, sleep becomes increasingly elusive.
6. You Keep Looking for Hidden Meanings
Did your friend really want to meet you for dinner? Was she just being nice? When you are an over-thinker, you are unable to take what people say for granted. You wonder if they were just being kind and polite. Each action leads you to think and rethink your entire life. You do not take anyone’s motives for granted because you are driven to understand what they really meant. Before long, this search for the hidden meaning starts to drive you insane.
7. You Can Come Off Strong
It is probably unsurprising that other people think you come off too strong. Your constant questions and internal debates can make you difficult to be around. For the people around you, your thinking habits can be too much to deal with.
If you know how difficult it is to be an over-thinker, make sure your friends know about your struggle as well.