Dating is as old as time, but the way we date and how we talk about it has changed dramatically. With the advent of digital everything, it became much easier to linger ambivalently in someone’s life, to interact from a safe distance online, and to generally be indecisive and unclear about your intentions regarding a relationship. We have a plethora of information on the people we date, but this results in more confusion than clarity. If you’ve been mind-effed in the dating realm recently, don’t worry; we all have. What’s more, there are names for the B.S. you’ve been going through. These are the 12 devasting new dating terms you need to know. Study them, then vow to be nobody’s victim.
Cover Photo: Colin Hawkins (Getty Images)
Benching
This is exactly what it sounds like; not rejecting someone outright but not actively pursuing them, either. You keep them around just in case the loneliness becomes unbearable. Similar to sports, the benched person is likely to get salty AF the longer this situation goes on.
Breadcrumbing
A breadcrumber is an attention-seeker who drops just enough texts/DMs/likes to keep the other party interested but has no intention of following through on a date or moving the relationship forward.
Caspering
You’ve heard of ghosting (and probably been ghosted by now). Caspering is a slightly more polite version of that, where the person continues to answer your texts or make small talk with you but doesn’t ask you out again. It’s infuriating enough to make you wish you had been ghosted.
Couching
Couching is the act of lining up a few prospects to be your safe places to land in case your currently unstable relationship blows up.
Fizzling
Fizzling is when communication dwindles from intermittent to non-existent.
Lovebombing
Flattery is great…in small doses. Too much gushing and you start to wonder how this person knows you’re so amazing if they just met you. Ultimately, love-bombing is a manipulative move, not a show of genuine admiration.
Monkeying
This one sounds like a lot more fun than it actually is. As a monkey swings from one branch to the next, some people jump from one relationship to the next with no break in between.
Orbiting
This cruel tactic is perpetrated by exes who don’t want you to forget about them. They’ll comment on your social media posts, wish you a happy birthday, or accidentally-on-purpose bump into you when all you really want is for them to fall off the face of the Earth.
Recycling
This means getting back together with your ex. Unlike recycling paper and plastic, relationship recycling is always a bad idea.
Roaching
This dirty move is when the person you thought you were in a monogamous relationship with suddenly reveals they’ve been dating other people the whole time. They don’t see themselves as guilty of any wrongdoing because you two never had the DTR (define the relationship) talk.
Submarining
Submarining is when someone ghosts you, resurfaces months later, and acts as if their absence was no big deal. If you call them on it, they gaslight you and say you’re overreacting, paranoid, or just plain crazy. (P.S. They’re an asshole.)
Zombieing
Exes never fail to find ways to inflict damage. This method involves reappearing months after ghosting you in an attempt to reunite. Let it die already.
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