How You Can Tell the Difference Between Infatuation and True Love

Is it the real thing? Or do you just have a crush?

What is infatuation? Infatuation is like an innocent fantasy that we imagine to be love. It’s when we’re in love with the idea of love. But can you tell the difference between love and infatuation?

This feeling starts at a young age with “puppy love” or a crush on someone and continues into adulthood. Infatuation tends to happen when we’re not in tune with reality — we see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear. We read more into what he says and does when his words, behaviors, and actions speak otherwise.

Infatuation causes us to pay more attention to a man’s superficial physical characteristics and less attention to his inner, deeper qualities. Almost all women have been or will be infatuated, confusing this with love or a deep like.

Don’t let your eyes cloud your vision of love. Are you infatuated or in love? In order to recognize infatuation vs. love, consider the following questions. If you answer “yes” to them, you’re prone to infatuation.

Do you…

  • Focus on external qualities (i.e., his looks, how much money he makes, the job he has, the car he drives, the house he lives in, etc.)?
  • Become consumed by thoughts of him?
  • Center your life around him by making him your priority?
  • Believe what he says when your intuition is telling you otherwise?
  • Have a superficial connection?
  • Not see any flaws in him?
  • Sit by the phone, waiting for his call?
  • Pay for a lot of his meals and activities?
  • Try to spend time where you think he may be, hoping to run into him?
  • Let yourself be his option or afterthought?

Infatuation is fleeting and less fulfilling. If your relationship is based on infatuation, you’ll compromise who you are, neglect what’s important to you, and never feel like a priority in their life.

Being disappointed and discouraged when relationships based on infatuation don’t work out is understandable. Realize that there are always good lessons to be learned from these types of relationships.

The overarching lesson is to let your heart choose who to love instead of letting your eyes choose.

Here’s how to know if your relationship is based on real love: You bring out the best in each other. You’re happier than not. He treats you with love and respect. Your life is better because he’s in it. There is no doubt — you just know he’s the right person for you.


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