Beyond Ghosting: 12 Devastating New Dating Terms You Need to Know

Dating is as old as time, but the way we date and how we talk about it has changed dramatically. With the advent of digital everything, it became much easier to linger ambivalently in someone’s life, to interact from a safe distance online, and to generally be indecisive and unclear about your intentions regarding a relationship. We have a plethora of information on the people we date, but this results in more confusion than clarity. If you’ve been mind-effed in the dating realm recently, don’t worry; we all have. What’s more, there are names for the B.S. you’ve been going through. These are the 12 devasting new dating terms you need to know. Study them, then vow to be nobody’s victim.

Cover Photo: Colin Hawkins (Getty Images)

Benching

This is exactly what it sounds like; not rejecting someone outright but not actively pursuing them, either. You keep them around just in case the loneliness becomes unbearable. Similar to sports, the benched person is likely to get salty AF the longer this situation goes on.

Breadcrumbing

A breadcrumber is an attention-seeker who drops just enough texts/DMs/likes to keep the other party interested but has no intention of following through on a date or moving the relationship forward.

Caspering

You’ve heard of ghosting (and probably been ghosted by now). Caspering is a slightly more polite version of that, where the person continues to answer your texts or make small talk with you but doesn’t ask you out again. It’s infuriating enough to make you wish you had been ghosted.

Couching

Couching is the act of lining up a few prospects to be your safe places to land in case your currently unstable relationship blows up.

Fizzling

Fizzling is when communication dwindles from intermittent to non-existent.

Lovebombing

Flattery is great…in small doses. Too much gushing and you start to wonder how this person knows you’re so amazing if they just met you. Ultimately, lovebombing is a manipulative move, not a show of genuine admiration.

Monkeying

This one sounds like a lot more fun than it actually is. As a monkey swings from one branch to the next, some people jump from one relationship to the next with no break in between.

Orbiting

This cruel tactic is perpetrated by exes who don’t want you to forget about them. They’ll comment on your social media posts, wish you a happy birthday, or accidentally-on-purpose bump into you when all you really want is for them to fall off the face of the Earth.

Recycling

This means getting back together with your ex. Unlike recycling paper and plastic, relationship recycling is always a bad idea.

Roaching

This dirty move is when the person you thought you were in a monogamous relationship with suddenly reveals they’ve been dating other people the whole time. They don’t see themselves as guilty of any wrongdoing because you two never had the DTR (define the relationship) talk.

Submarining

Submarining is when someone ghosts you, resurfaces months later, and acts as if their absence was no big deal. If you call them on it, they gaslight you and say you’re overreacting, paranoid, or just plain crazy. (P.S. They’re an asshole.)

Zombieing

Exes never fail to find ways to inflict damage. This method involves reappearing months after ghosting you in an attempt to reunite. Let it die already.

 

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What Is Glamboozling? This Dating Trend Is Unbelievably Annoying

I kind of like saying the word, Glamboozle…

With all of the wacky dating trends that happen in the world, I feel like I’ll never run out of material for this blog!

It sucks being all dressed up with nowhere to go. But do you know what sucks worse? Getting all dressed up with the intention of going somewhere, only to have your date cancel at the last minute. If this has ever happened to you, then I’m sorry to say you’ve been subject to a dating trend called glamboozling. Glamboozling means that you’ve blown out your hair, given yourself a mani, and even spent 30 minutes perfecting your winged eyeliner only for your date to send a text saying, “Sry. Can’t make it tonight.” And honestly, I can think of few things worse than wasting a great cat eye because of an unreliable date.

According to Plenty of Fish, a staggering 58% of singles have been glamboozled. As Anita Chlipala, licensed marriage and family therapist, previously told Elite Daily, canceling plans on the day of should only be done if you have a really valid excuse — and if you don’t have one, then your date deserves more notice. “[You] should have a good reason to cancel a date last-minute, because otherwise, that’s just rude and inconsiderate,” she said. And not only does flaking on a date pose an inconvenience — it’s also a terrible waste of makeup.

Glamboozling is a new dating trend
Ashley Corbin-Teich/Image Source/Getty Images

Luckily, if you want to avoid being glamboozled, there are a few signs that indicate your date is likely to cancel. According to Julia Armet, Head of Matchmaking at Tawkify, if your date has already postponed your meet-up once, there’s a good chance they’ll do it again. “Avoidant types have trouble solidifying plans,” Armet previously told Elite Daily. “Interestingly, you’ll also see the same ‘postponement’ mentality in people who have commitment issues. That can emerge deeper into relationships. Odds would say for these types: they’ll flake on you.” So basically, you shouldn’t get dressed up in your best outfit if the person taking you out has asked for a rain check in the past.

Another sign your date is probably going to flake: They’re difficult to get a hold of the day of the date. If you haven’t heard from them at least an hour before your date, then you might want to wait before curling your eyelashes. And if you want to make sure you’re not stood up, Armet suggested texting or calling your date ahead of time to make sure they’re still on board.

Glamboozling is a new dating trend
visualspace/E+/Getty Images

Of course, the reason glamboozling stings so bad doesn’t just have to do with wasting a good hair day. As Dr. Alexandra Solomon, clinical assistant professor in the Department of Psychology at Northwestern University, previously told Elite Daily, when a date cancels on you, it can ignite feelings of vulnerability, whether it’s your first date or your 100th date with someone. You might feel as though your date doesn’t value your time or prioritize your relationship, no matter how serious that relationship may be, and that’s not a great feeling.

My advice: If you’re glamboozled, find an opportunity to show off your outfit anyway. Rather than sulking, the best way to beat this dating trend is to call up a friend and make other plans. You can’t always prevent a date from being canceled last minute, but you can decide how you’re going to react.

 

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