10 Sad-But-True Signs He’s Not Attracted To You Anymore

Sometimes, it’s really just that simple.

It’s normal for physical attraction and desire to wax and wane over the course of any long-term relationship or marriage. So in and of itself, a dry spell in the bedroom is neither a big deal nor something you should necessarily worry yourself about.

What is a big deal requiring your attention and concern is when your boyfriend or husband no longer seems to be attracted to you at all.

As painful as it can be, it’s important to notice if this is happening in your relationship.

After all, there may still be a chance to rekindle that flame if you catch it just as it’s beginning to die out.

If you’re concerned about your partner having lost interest, check to see if any of these telltale signs show up for you.

1. He has difficulty getting erections on a regular basis.

This is one of the most obvious indicators that something’s amiss in your love life.

Assuming that he’s healthy and in a generally good mood, there’s no reason he shouldn’t be able to get an erection regularly.

2. He chooses masturbation over sex with you more and more often.

There’s nothing wrong with enjoying some good old-fashioned self-love, but when you know for a fact that he’s rejecting your advances in favor of masturbation, there’s a problem.

3. He no longer touches you.

This doesn’t necessarily refer to having sex. Simple gestures like kissing, cuddling, or even just holding your hand are indicators that a guy is still attracted to you.

If he’s outright recoiling when you try to hold or touch him, he’s losing (or may have completely lost) his attraction to you.

4. The way he talks to you sounds more like the way a guy would talk to his sister, roommate, or guy friend.

When he begins to treat you like a roommate rather than like a wife or girlfriend, you should be concerned. This is often a sign that he’s stopped viewing you as a sexual being.

5. His overall demeanor has become cold, distant, or aggressive.

This is often a sign that he’s checked out of the relationship, and it means he most likely stopped being into you in that way a long time ago.

6. He almost always rejects you and comes up with reasons not to have sex with you.

If he’s not even remotely receptive to your sexual advances, chances are high that he’s lost interest.

During a lower libido spell, he’ll still be open to sexual encounters some of the time. He just won’t be as likely to initiate or take you up on the offer as frequently as he may otherwise.

7. Your body underwent major changes, and he’s made note of it.

Though it’s not what anyone wants to hear, men are visual creatures. If you gained significant weight and he’s told you he’s noticed, there may be a chance that your boyfriend or husband might not find you as attractive as he did when you first got together.

8. Everything you do seems to upset him.

When someone is really into you on a physical level, they will overlook all the little annoying quirks you have.

When someone stops being attracted to you, all those little quirks become increasingly annoying, and they may even make your formerly chill significant other get snippy with you.

9. He only wants to be sexual with you when he’s been drinking.

If it’s gotten to the point that he feels like he needs beer goggles in order to be into you, his interest is long gone.

10. Something just feels “off.”

Some guys pull off a really good façade of interest, even when they’ve checked out of a relationship. If your gut is telling you that he’s just not into you anymore, you might want to listen to your intuition.


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Life Before Quarantine – Part 10

During quarantine I’ve been fairly productive. I get my energy from people but I really enjoy my alone time. My daughter agrees. We’re both perfectly happy being on our own. I was looking through some photos the other day and I got some great memories of when we were all allowed to come out and play. I thought I’d share some of them with you. I’ll run this series every week until I run out of photos! If you see yourself, hit me up!

I’m very fortunate to have met you all and enjoyed the times we had together. Thank you!





Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

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How To Make A Man Fall In Love With You In 9 Easy Steps (Yes, Really!)

Spoiler alert: There really is a magic formula.

You’ve met your dream guy and things are going pretty well, but how can you be sure that he’s as head over heels for you as you are for him?

If you’ve ever fallen hard for someone, you know the most frustrating (and fun) thing about it can be trying to gain their attention and earn their returned love.

If you want to know how to get a guy not only to like you, but how to make a man fall deeply in love with and want to build a life with you, you want to prove yourself as someone worthy of his time and affection.

But it’s never just as easy as casting a magic spell to make it all go well, is it?

Relationships take time, dedication, and a steady mix of patience to work out right. After all, you’re trying to build a life with someone, and that’s no easy task. However, that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a method to all of the madness or a way to get someone to notice the depth of your love and give you some of that adoration in return.

A good relationship is like a dance. It requires two people giving their all and learning the steps to work with each other so they don’t crush a lot of toes. And like a good dance, there are steps you can take in your relationship to help make it flow smoothly, and keep you from stepping all over your partner by accident.

Relationships need a lot of effort, but sometimes it’s not easy to figure out where you should be directing that effort. Want to be more successful in dating? Then you’ll want to follow these simple steps for how to make a man fall in love with you, because believe it or not, there is actually a formula. It might not be magic, but it’s as close to a magic as you can get — and it’s also far more reliable.

Just how does such a thing work?

Well, you’re going to want to remember the acronym MAGNETICS — and get ready to get loved up!

Without further ado, here’s how to make a guy fall deeply in love with you in 9 easy steps.

1. M is for Masculinity

A man wants a woman who just “gets” him. He wants her radiance and femininity to draw him in the way his masculine energy attracts her. He wants a woman who appreciates his ability to protect, provide and solve problems. He wants her to admire him for his steadiness and sense of calm under pressure. He doesn’t want to feel emasculated because he’s way more logical and analytical and doesn’t (necessarily) cry at sappy movies.

In short, he wants a woman who sees him as the hero he’s always wanted to be — and when you really get that you just might be shocked at how heroic he truly is in his heart and soul. Ladies, that is the real greatness of a man. For the right reason or cause, he would literally die for you. Now if that’s not a hero, what is?

2. A is for Acceptance

Now when it comes to “getting” your man, there is one thing you must not do if you want a man to see a future with you. Do not treat him like some kind of project that needs to be fixed because it immediately brings up the walls. If you have the urge to try to change his clothes, his circle of friends, the way he talks, what he loves to do — don’t do it!

Just move on and find someone you can respect and appreciate just the way he is right now. If he wants your help, he’ll ask for it. The right guy for you deserves to feel like he’s your hero. If you can’t offer that, he’s not your guy.

3. G is for Grateful

A man has two primary gifts he can offer a woman: his ability to protect and provide. So if he is willing to risk his life to protect yours and invest his time, talent and treasure in order provide for you, all he really wants is a little gratitude in return.

He simply wants you to appreciate that he works hard to take care of you even if he can’t give you everything he’d like. That’s really not a lot to ask. So if you want a guy to see the very best in you and fall hopelessly in love, the one thing you can’t do is take him for granted or disrespect his efforts.

4. N is for Nurturing

If it’s up to a man to protect and provide for his woman and family, what is it that he wants and needs from her in return? Simply put, a woman’s beauty and grace attracts a man and is often demonstrated in her innate ability as a nurturer or caretaker.

Now before you attack that idea as sexist, we’re really just talking about two people who come together to love, care for and make each other’s life even better by forming a cooperative partnership here. The real beauty of a relationship is when two people come together with a desire to give rather than just take. That’s when the magic is unleashed.

5. E is for Easy-Going

Despite what you may think or your past experience — you may never know just how much a man really does want to please you if he is able. In fact, the problems show up when he no longer thinks he can please you. Men are very simple creatures. They demonstrate their value by solving problems and fixing things (and occasionally they may make the mistake of trying to fix you).

Plus, nothing makes a man feel worse than to feel stuck in a problem he just can’t solve so if you’re unhappy too often, at some level, he’s failed and he will try to distance himself from feeling like a failure. By contrast, nothing makes a man feel successful like you when you are happy — which is why a positive, happy and radiant woman is so appealing.

6. T is for Trustworthy

When it comes to true demonstrations of masculine energy and the code it lives by, the concept of honor is practically inseparable from the ideal. Whether it’s warriors on the battlefield or symbolic “warriors” on the playing field, having your partner’s back is the difference between winning and losing or even life and death. A man has got to trust that you’re on his team and have his back, otherwise, he will never commit.

7. I Is For Independence

If there is one area I see women mess up time and again, it’s in trying to define a relationship or tie a man down too soon. That’s because her need to feel “safe” is in direct contrast to his innate desire for freedom and not being tied down. If you think about it, every soldier anywhere who has ever been killed in action has died trying to defend their idea of freedom.

When you realize that simple fact, you’ll understand why he’ll feel reluctant to just give it away, but don’t worry. The good news is he will trade his freedom for something better, so just be better and don’t try to force him into a decision too soon.

8. C is for Captivate

When you really get what I’ve just shared and exude these nine traits, you will officially be in your man’s head — and in his heart as well. That’s because he will notice all the “logical” benefits of your wonderful traits right about the time his heart opens and “emotion” slowly enters the equation.

Oh, and there’s one other thing that gets a man to act in the captivation stage: his competitive nature won’t tolerate losing the greatest woman he’s ever met to another man.

9. S is for Soulmates

When you follow this as outlined, it all adds up to something magical. When you embody a love of his Masculinity with your Appreciation for who he is, add in some Gratitude, a Nurturing spirit, an Easy-going nature, an ability to be Trustworthy, and honor his Independence all while captivating him — it all adds up to one thing. The final S is for Soulmate because that’s what you’ll have found.


Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Starting A Relationship Without Meeting In-Person Can Be Tricky

You never know where love could be waiting for you. It could be at your friend’s birthday party, in your next class, or with someone you spot while taking a walk. Or as is the case for many people, new romance could be waiting to bloom with someone online, who might not even live near you. While being open to this possibility can certainly increase your chances of falling for someone, the question is, should you start a relationship without meeting in person first? Or should you define the relationship only after you’ve had a real face-to-face? This is a question people are facing now more than ever, as social distancing is being added to already complicated modern dating dynamics.

But just because meeting someone new is currently more likely to happen online than IRL, that doesn’t mean you have to put the breaks on a budding relationship entirely, as Diana Dorell, intuitive dating coach and author of The Dating Mirror: Trust Again, Love Again, tells Elite Daily, provided you enter with reasonable expectations. “It’s easy to glamorize and idealize the relationship when you don’t have the day to day energy of being with them. So get to know them but also keep things in perspective and take it slow!” she says.

If you’ve met someone new online but haven’t met face-to-face, here’s what the experts say you should know about starting a relationship with them.

Online Interaction Has Its Limits.

martin-dm/E+/Getty Images

One of the best things about getting to know someone online is how deep the conversations can become. Long chats into the wee hours can allow you to connect on an emotional and intellectual level. Plus, with the advent of video chat, you can get an inkling of whether or not there may be physical chemistry, too. But even if you do feel that kind of connection, being in a relationship with someone you haven’t met inherently means sacrificing the physical aspect of the relationship. Connell Barrett, dating coach for The League and author of the forthcoming book, Dating Sucks But You Don’t, tells Elite Daily not to underestimate the importance of touch in your relationship, especially over the long term. “Physical touching is a very important part of a great relationship, and if you’re dating without ever meeting, you could both grow frustrated because you’re unable to express yourself in an intimate, physical way,” he explains.

While the relationship may progress naturally before you have a chance to meet, Dorell suggests setting a time to meet up before things get too serious between you. “Making a point to meet in person at a specific time is so important. Before committing your whole self to a relationship where there may not be physical chemistry,” she says. “Once you meet in person, you can see if you want to make the commitment to the next level.”

Be Wary Of Red Flags.

Karl Tapales/Moment/Getty Images

It can be so easy to get caught up in the excitement and promise of a new romance, to where it can even blind you from potential issues. Eric Resnick, professional dating profile writer and online dating coach tells Elite Daily, it’s always important to keep an eye out for red flags, especially when entering a relationship with someone you haven’t met in person. That’s because it can be easier for someone online to only show you the parts of themselves they want you to see, behind the safety of a screen. “When you start a relationship, everything feels magical, but nothing is real until you meet,” says Resnick. “Distance has a habit of breeding artificial intimacy. If you’re going to start a relationship without meeting someone in person, just make sure you are keeping your expectations in check and you aren’t getting lost in the romantic fantasy of what might be.”

One thing to be on the lookout for are people who are trying to portray themselves as someone they aren’t. “You should never start a relationship if you see red flags that you’re being cat-fished,” says Barrett. “Before becoming a couple, make sure the person is who they say they are.”

The best defense against getting into the wrong relationship online, Dorrell says, is to avoid rushing into things in the heat of the moment. She advises taking things slowly, day by day.

While it’s a good idea to take your time and be thoughtful about entering a relationship with someone new, whether it’s online or face-to-face, ultimately it’s up to you to decide what’s right for you. However if you’re concerned about proceeding, the key is to strike a balance between following your heart and your head. “If You’re getting to know someone before meeting them, you should probably avoid proposing. But if you connect, you can define your relationship and become exclusive until the time you’re able to have more than a virtual hug,” she concludes. If it’s truly meant to be, it will be, so there’s no need to rush. In other words: Listen to your heart, just don’t leave your head on-read in the process.

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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The Healthiest Way To End A Relationship

Breakups are never easy, especially for the person on the receiving end. That’s the first thing to remember when considering a breakup. However, relationships end for a plethora of reasons.

Maybe your partner became violent or was emotionally abusing you, and you want out, or perhaps you feel you’re both on different wavelengths and cannot seem to find a balance. Whatever your reason, this is a guide on ending a relationship in a healthy way.

Brace yourself

While this may sound like a scout’s motto, it is imperative to be prepared for these things. If you’re thinking of ending the relationship, you’ll have to give plausible reasons why you feel that way. Before you execute, consider what you’ll say and come up with responses to every reaction.

Pick a spot

Unless you’re worried about your safety, the worst way to break up with someone is over the phone. A phone breakup makes it impersonal and ruthless. The strength and challenge are in looking at the person you love(d) and telling them why you cannot be with them anymore. Any comfortable location that puts them at ease and ensures they have the privacy to react with sadness if needed is appropriate.

Be calm

Chances are, you’re about to wreck your partner’s world. You shouldn’t be aggressive during a breakup. Be respectful as much as you possibly can when offering your points. Be honest and tell them the absolute truth about how you feel and why you feel it should come to its end.

Do not cave

Your partner may try to convince you of staying together and working through it is the best choice. Do not cave, especially if you feel you’re doing the right thing. Listen to your gut and make a clean cut. Remind your partner of how amazing the relationship was and how you’ll always cherish the good times, but unfortunately, it has to end.

Offer comfort

Do not shy away from hugging your partner to console them if they are distraught. You might even go as far as offering friendship so that you can still be in each other’s lives. This may help him/her move on faster.

There is no need always to end any relationship on a sad note. People sometimes drift apart for several reasons, and it’s best to do it on the kindest note that you can. Leave room for the future. You never know when the person’s help could come handy!


Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Liz – Chapter 4 – Something’s Changed

I’m happy I met Liz and I’m looking forward to getting to know her. Maybe not so much getting to know her, but a lady to do stuff with. drinks, lunch, movies etc. I am at a point in my life where I don’t care if it doesn’t go anywhere.

I know that sounds nuts from the guy that writes a dating and relationship blog, but I think I’m there.

I love telling my stories about my life, and dolling out dating and relationship advice but to be honest with you all I may be done with it all.

Don’t worry. The blog will live on, but it’s probably going to eventually change. I’m not sure how that will happen. I have and idea, how it will be compartmentalized, but I can’t see what it will look like exactly.

How can one write a dating and relationship blog and not be in a relationship?

I don’t know. But based on my last relationship that was simple and sweet, I don’t know what’s going to happen.

I suppose we’ll all just evolve together.

I’m walking through Suburban Station. The main hub for all of the trains in the city. I text Liz the day after our first meeting.

“Thinking about you.”

“Haha. You knew what to text.”

“You’re done for the day!”

“Not quite. I’m off for the rest of the week. So I wanted to finish up a few things. Hi”

“Oh lucky you! Did you tell me that? How’d you swing that?”

“I didn’t mention it. My birthday is on Friday and I don’t take off too often. So, it’s my treat to me.”

“Great gift!”

“Thanks! (smiley face)

“Do you have anything planned?”

“Baltimore Harbor.”

“Oh fantastic! Maybe we can meet up Sunday after 4 or one day next week!”


“I have to see what my schedule is next week okay?”

“no problem.”

I’m glad we met! (me smiley with little hands)




(A couple of days later)

“How’s your day going? Hot one.”

“It’s going well. Back at work. How’s Baltimore? I’m sure you’re having more fun than I am up here in Philly.”

“I don’t leave until Friday night. I’ve been chillin’ in Philly. I love hot Philly, btw.”

“Oh awesome! I didn’t realize you hadn’t gone! Are you excited?”

“I am excited. How are you doing?”

I’m doing well! Did lots of cleaning today at the house with my daughter. We worked together. Mac Mart was good. Not too busy. I love working there and… we just passed our health inspection!”

“Nice with the health inspection. I wish I could eat there.”

“Yea, it went really well because we run a clean ship! We won’t see them for another year!”

“Good. I’ll tell me friends to eat there.”

Based on these texts, this is where she wants me to inquire about her dairy allergy.

“Why can’t you eat there?”

“I don’t eat dairy.”

“I get it. Do you have any other dietary concerns?”

“Dairy breaks me out. I think it is the hormones in it that clogs my pores or something. So I love it but it doesn’t love me.”


“I don’t think we’re even meant to consume dairy as humans.”

“Most people get personally offended when you say that, but I agree.”


Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Buy Phicklephilly THE BOOK now available on Amazon!

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