Most Young Women Today Unhappy, Stressed About Sex Lives, Aussie Survey Finds

New study reveals sexual distress is a serious problem for women, with one in five battling at least one female sexual dysfunction.

MELBOURNE, Australia — Depictions of sex and sexuality in the media are largely idealized and unrealistic. Real life between the sheets, on the other hand, is usually more complicated. Everyone is different, and what works for one person may not for another. Women especially are portrayed as symbols of sexuality across our culture, and according to a recent piece of research, the pressure to live up to those stereotypes is causing serious stress in many young women.

Researchers at Monash University surveyed nearly 7,000 Australian women between the ages of 18-39, and found that just over half (50.2%) routinely experience sexually-related personal distress. Another one in five report having at least one female sexual dysfunction (FSD). A few common examples of a female sexual dysfunction would be feeling pain during intercourse, or an overall lack of sexual arousal.

Sexually-related distress can be defined as feeling embarrassed, stressed, guilty, or unhappy with one’s sex life and sexual performance. Among the 50.2% with constant distress, 29.6% did not report a sexual dysfunction, while 20.6 reported at least one FSD.

The most frequently cited FSD was an overall poor sexual self-image, causing distress in 11% of participants. One’s sexual self-image can be related to obesity, feeling self-conscious about living with a new partner, or breastfeeding, just to name a few topics. Dysfunction related to arousal (9%), orgasms (7.9%), desire (8%), and responsiveness (3.4%) were other common answers.

Prescription medication may have a hand in many sexual feelings of anxiety; 20% of surveyed women reported taking a psychotropic drug, such as an antidepressant, and these substances often have a negative influence on one’s overall sexual life. However, the use of oral contraceptives was not found to have any effect on sexual functioning.

“Sexual wellbeing is recognized as a fundamental human right. It is of great concern that one in five young women have an apparent sexual dysfunction and half of all women within this age group experience sexually-related personal distress,” says senior author and Professor of Women’s Health at Monash University, Susan Davis, in a release. “This is a wake-up call to the community and signals the importance of health professionals being open and adequately prepared to discuss young women’s sexual health concerns.”

In total, 6,986 women took part in the research, all hailing from various areas across Australia. Each woman filled out a questionnaire that asked about sexual desire, arousal, self-image, and orgasms. Participants were also asked about any sexually-associated personal distress. Questions on demographics were included as well.

Roughly one third of respondents described themselves as single, 47% had a normal BMI, and just under 70% reported being sexually active within one month of taking the survey.

A particularly interesting finding was that women who reported “habitually” monitoring their appearance, and admitted to largely basing their own self-worth on their appearance, were almost always less sexually assertive and more self-conscious during sexual or intimate acts with a partner. Overall, these women also reported less sexual pleasure.

“The high prevalence of sexually-related personal distress signals the importance of health professionals, particularly those working in the fields of gynecology and fertility, being adequately prepared to routinely ask young women about any sexual health concerns, and to have an appropriate management or referral pathway in place,” Professor Davis concludes.

 

 

Study: Fear Of Eternal Loneliness Makes Single People Settle For Crappy Relationships

You probably want to sit down for what I’m about to tell you because it’s going to blow the lid off everything you thought you knew about relationships. A new study done at the University of Toronto’s Department of Psychology discovered that fear of being single leads both men and women to settle for relationships that don’t fulfill them. Obviously, I am being sarcastic about this being mind-blowing news. Raise your hand if you’ve continued dating someone you weren’t amped about because you watched The Mamas And The Papas “Behind The Music” and couldn’t bear the thought of choking on a sandwich and having no one there to do the Heimlich Maneuver. Raise your hand if you’ve been exclusive with the first person you met online because you were new to a city and you were afraid they were the only person you’d meet. Raise your hand if you’ve continued to date someone, knowing they were awful, just because you needed a plus one to your best friend’s wedding? OK. All of us? Good. Then this study is for you!

“Those with stronger fears about being single are willing to settle for less in their relationships. Sometimes they stay in relationships they aren’t happy in, and sometimes they want to date people who aren’t very good at them. Now we understand that people’s anxieties about being single seem to play a key role in these types of unhealthy relationship behaviors,” says the lead author of the study, Stephanie Spielmann.

WHOA. Really?? So our anxiety about a long, sprawling life alone with our plants or our pets or our gaming console is directly proportionate to how bad our dating choices are? GOOD TO KNOW. The scientists concluded, wisely, that loneliness does not discriminate on the basis of gender. I repeat all humans get fucking lonely. Don’t settle out of fear. Your best efforts are spent managing your anxiety about spinsterhood (and whatever the male equivalent of that is) so that you don’t pick the worst people ever to date.

 

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Eileen- Chapter 8 – Mega Sons and Daughters at Marathon

My Eileen has returned from Spring Break. Which is different than most girl’s Spring Break, which is normally a flight to a Caribbean destination in a drunken haze of boys, sun and exotic locales.

But my hire Eileen will be returning to St. Louis to go hang with her mom but more than ever to spend time with her love Thomas.

Eileen is such a sassy, intelligent, dedicated soul. I adore her. I’ve been blessed this year with a pair of the best employees I’ve ever had.

I’ve been overjoyed at the sheer performance and charm my former staff has brought me but Amelia and Eileen have both been the the cold glass of beer on a hot day that I couldn’t have imagined during our busiest time of the year.

It’s so busy here in the salon. I’m sure Achilles likes the occasional night he doesn’t get the call from us that the system is failing.

He’s been at this for 10 years.

He’s seen it all.

The frustration that he must feel from the changes we’ve been through. He had three tanning salons at one time but closed the other two. Why? As he says. “This headache times three.”

That’s sad. A thriving business destroyed by shitty employees.

But you get what you pay for.

But not always. You sometimes luck out and get an employee that gives you and $80,000 a year performance for your wage simply because he has a great work ethic.

And then sometimes like a rare bird, one flies in the door and is willing to work for your minimum wage and kick ass because they’re like that dude you hired.

Achilles… you show these young girls no quarter. No warm greeting, no empathy. Because you are incapable of those emotions. That’s why I’m here.

I’m the life and personality of your salon. The face, and lively personality and the salesman that you hired. I’ll teach and train these girls.

They’re wonderful people. I actually feel blessed that we’ve acquired them this season. These girls are better than any we’ve ever had before.

They’re my team. I’m so proud of them every day.

If you’ve been following the Sun Stories in this blog, you’ll know the nightmare stories we’ve had with staffing at this salon. But that’s normal for retail and hospitality in this city. You get what you pay for.

But every once in awhile you pick a few winners.

This has been our most profitable year ever and I credit that to a few things:

  1. Every other tanning salon has fallen in the city.
  2. The population is increasing.
  3. We’re the best salon in the city.
  4. We have the finest employees and the best prices and services.

The people on the third floor hate us because we have a gym and they have a gym. They sued us but we settled and now we can only do personal training.

The Canadian online retail store downstairs hates us because sometimes the fitness guys drop weights and they complain to the landlord.

We’re basically in a shit sandwich in our new location and we’re the shit between the two shitty bus that hate us.

 

Eileen and I are getting killed at the salon as usual because, tis the season. Achilles boasts that he he had a busy lunch and that he had people in everybody in every bed. He called himself “The Man”

It would be nice if he could see what my staff and I go through here every night getting run over and being the sweet professionals to define his “busy” day.

My new hire Amelia says “Working here is the best job she ever had.”

I’m honored by her words and that’s how good business is supposed to work.

 

I’m mired in cleaning sun beds and charming ladies at the salon. Eileen is killing it as the charming professional at the front counter.

Amelia rolls in and we all decide to go to Marathon for dinner after work.

I love that we’re in the season and I’ve literally been blessed with two girls that are amazing. (I know I say it alot but they are both sooo good!)

I adore them both in different ways. (But it’s mixed)

I find myself in a place where I have been freed of the shackles of corporate America.

The rat race is horrible.

Children emerge from college as debtors now.

I’ve been honored this year with meeting not only the best employees I’ve ever had at Megasun, but two of the greatest ladies I’ve ever met and have enjoyed working with.

Here’s our Amelia ready to go and have dinner with us tonight. (First team dinner!)

 

After a long night of getting run over at the salon Eileen and I finally trudge over to Marathon Grille.

Amelia is waiting for us at a booth plowing Blue Moons and is a little surly we’re late.

But once we land, the team sings.

This is the first time we’ve ever hung out as a group.

Amelia and I have been to Square 1682 a couple of times for the complete glorious hookup of drinks but this is the first time we’ve all met as a team.

When Eileen and I arrive I run into a one of our clients at the hostess stand. He’s a solitary dude that apparently builds nightclubs in Asia and the like. I never got a good vibe from him and always felt that he was perv, but we’re here for different reasons. I greet him and then move off.

I take a booth with Amelia, who’s a little cross she had to wait for Eileen and I but it’s all good. Eileen’s charm can cut through ice. She’s so adorable.

I feel a comforting irony in this moment.

My creepy client takes a table near us.

It’s 9pm and he’s here eating alone. Who are you? What are you doing out at this hour? You with your bald head and shifty perv eyes. I see you. I can tell. You’re not a nice man.

But here you are in Marathon… an upscale diner with locally farm grown food with a sweet bar.

You’re alone.

I’m snuggled in a booth with two beautiful, wonderful ladies I adore. We’re eating, drinking, and Eileen is laughing so much her jaw hurts.

Eileen – Me – Amelia

I’m sipping a Bulliet Rye Manahattan, neat with a brandied berry and a side of ice.

Dude… you’re alone.

I’m the luckiest man in Philly right now. I want for nothing. The business is cranking. I’m surrounded with good people. My daughter’s happy and healthy. What more can I ask for?

It was an amazing night and there’s more on the way!