12 ‘Little’ Relationship Milestones That Are Actually A Big Deal

The big relationship moments — like the first date, meeting the parents, moving in together, getting engaged and getting married — seem to get all the attention. Sometimes the smaller (but still significant!) moments don’t nearly get the credit they deserve.

We asked people to reveal the “little” relationship milestones that were actually a big deal to them. Here’s what they said:

1. The first time they cry in front of you.

“My husband is a big guy. I nicknamed him ‘Bear’ because he’s so huge. But he’s also so mushy. When I was first leaving London (we were long-distance at the time), he started crying. It was so beautiful to see a man be so vulnerable with me. He cried basically the whole way to the airport and, from what I hear, the rest of the night. He is such a darling. Crying in front of your partner is a true moment of clarity. It shows you the levels this person feels and emotions they’re capable of.” ― Gigi Engle, sexologist and author of “All the F*cking Mistakes: A Guide to Sex, Love, and Life”

2. The first time you put up an Instagram pic together.

“This one was actually a massive one for me but probably extremely minuscule and even laughable to others. It was when we posted photos together on Instagram (aka #IGofficial). It was a little bigger of a deal for me since the 215,000 people who follow me didn’t even know I was in a relationship and that we had secretly been traveling together for about four months before I posted about it!” — Alyssa Ramos of “My Life’s a Travel Movie”

3. The first time they take you as a date to a work event.

“My husband, Amit, owns a performing arts company (AATMA Performing Arts) and works with kids as well. It was really special when he actually took me to meet all the kids and their parents. It was as if he was making it official that I’m his life partner. Especially being South Asian and identifying as part of the LGBTQ+ community, that is a big and courageous move, which proved that we were really in this forever.” ― Aditya Madiraju, blogger

4. The first time you go on a trip together.

“The third date for my now-wife and me was a cruise, which felt like a real make-or-break situation for a new couple. Packing. Flying. Keeping track of passports and documents. Living in a small space together for a week. A bathroom with very little privacy. It went great, which boded really well for our future together. Four years and many cruises, resorts, flights, drives and hotels later, we are a great pair at home and on the road.” — Jenny Block, author of “Be That Unicorn: Find Your Magic. Live Your Truth. Share Your Shine”

5. The first time they refer to you as ‘Mommy’ or ‘Daddy’ to their pet.

“My wife had a dog when we met. It had been a long time since I had a dog, and I forgot how much I missed having one. I instantly bonded with him and grew so attached to him. So the first time she referred to me as ‘Daddy’ to him instead of ‘Dan’ was huge to me. Up until that point, I wasn’t sure if I won her over yet, but after that day I was 100% sure.” — Dan Regan, comedian

6. The first time you reveal your kinks in the bedroom.

“While for some people it might be silly or weird, it felt really good to tell my partner that I’m submissive. Trying choking and bondage with him was incredibly healing and bonding for us. It’s helped our relationship grow in so many beautiful, sexy ways. He’s super wonderful and adventurous. Being able to explore your sexuality to its fullest in a relationship is pretty dang magical.” —Engle

7. The first time they proudly display your artwork.

“Once we moved in together, my wife hung up my illustrations around our apartment. She didn’t ask to, she just did it. It was such a big deal to me, more than she realizes.

I grew up poor, on and off food stamps and in small, cramped one-bedroom apartments shared with four family members and millions of cockroaches. When I lived with my abusive ex, that space didn’t really feel mine because of how tumultuous the relationship had been; everything felt more like a shared space and less like a home. I never truly had a space of my own.

When I came home one day and saw that she hung up my artwork, it was the first time I ever felt like I fit in anywhere and was truly loved. Something as simple as hanging up a picture told me, ‘You belong here.’” ― Tevy Khou, illustrator

8. The first time you meet each other’s friends.

“Sometimes that little act of meeting each other’s friends is more stressful than meeting each other’s family (especially so in many gay or LGBTQ relationships, where your friends may be your chosen family). That first brunch, that first time out with their group of friends to the karaoke bar — you want to make a good impression, seem relatable, friendly, act engaged, and, of course, you’ve got to make a good impression. Because it’s the friends who just might end up having the biggest impact on what happens in the relationship.” ― Adam Groffman of “Travels of Adam”

9. The first time you collaborate on a project.

“The ‘little’ milestone that comes to mind is when my (now) spouse and I collaborated on our first art project. I can’t remember what it was because we have made a ridiculous amount of art together in the seven years we’ve been a couple, but it was probably a GIF of our cat.

This milestone quickly led us to start an art and animation company together. We call the company YoMeryl as a reference to our first date and the discussion we had that night about how amazing Meryl Streep is and that she could literally be anywhere so it’s best to not shout her name too loudly.” ― Bronwyn Lundberg, artist at YoMeryl

10. The first time they open up to you emotionally.

“When my partner shared deeper parts of himself, it mattered to me because it meant he was opening up and learning to trust me. As a writer, I’m pretty open about a lot of things, and I’ve learned (and am still learning) that everyone is not able to access their feelings so easily, so I always appreciate the unraveling of layers in relationships.” — Renée Cherez, writer

11. The first time they say ‘I love you’ to your dog.

“One milestone was when I caught him saying ‘I love you’ to my little Pomeranian, Oscar, for the first time. The two of them tend to have a like/hate relationship because they both battle for my attention and affection, which my dog always wins, so hearing him say he loves Oscar was a huge milestone for us.” ― Ramos

12. The first time they see you perform on stage.

“Before I met my wife, some women I dated would say, ‘I thought you would be funnier’ (because I’m a comedian). I didn’t think I was supposed to perform while I’m eating jalapeño sliders at Applebees, but OK.

So when I met my wife, I was happy she never questioned my lack of stage performance when we were on a date. When she finally saw me on a stage, I thought this will either enhance our relationship or could be the beginning of the end. Luckily, she liked my set and is now my biggest fan and harshest critic, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

 

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Why Did She Suddenly Lose Interest & What You Need To Learn From It

When someone suddenly loses interest in you, it’s confusing. Well, it’s time you learned the answers to why did she suddenly lose interest in you.

One from my female followers I found interesting…

When I was dating, I constantly wondered why a guy would suddenly stop texting me. Why would he suddenly lose interest in me… I don’t get it… As a guy, you probably are wondering, why did she suddenly lose interest in me?

It’s a tale as old as time. You met a girl, she’s amazing, you have a great time together. Suddenly, she disappears, and you never hear from her again. What happened? Why would she suddenly lose interest in you?

The worst part is why didn’t she tell you why she pulled back? These are hard questions to think about, especially when you want to move on.

Why did she suddenly lose interest: The answers and the lessons to learn

Listen, when it comes to relationships, they’re not easy. You never really know what the other person is thinking. It takes a toll. Right when you think everything is going smoothly, boom, things switch completely.

But, you don’t lose sleep over this. If you’re wondering why she suddenly lost interest in you, I have some of the reasons why. Of course, every woman is different, but these are the most common reasons why women lose interest in a relationship.

Dating isn’t always a walk in the park.

#1 She met someone else. I’m not going to lie to you; usually, when a woman suddenly backs away, there’s a strong reason why. Of course, this doesn’t have to be the reason, but if it’s completely out of nowhere, it’s a strong possibility. If she suddenly lost interest, she may have found someone else she’s more interested in.

#2 She grew bored. At the beginning of the relationship, everything is fun and exciting. But once things go into a routine, you see the real relationship. This is often when men and women become bored and stray. This doesn’t mean you’re boring, but you don’t have the connection needed to keep the relationship going.

#3 You were a rebound. Here’s the thing, if you knew she was previously in a relationship, then you were aware of the odds of you being a rebound. For her, she was newly single, met you, had some fun, and moved on. It’s a harsh realization, but it’s important for you to move on.

#4 She changed her mind. What can I say, people, are complex. You can be the most interesting guy in the world, but she realized you aren’t a good match. That has nothing to do with you. In her mind, she didn’t feel you would work, so, she lost interest.

#5 You were too clingy. There’s nothing wrong with showing a girl affection and attention. But if you’re wondering why did she suddenly lose interest, chances are she found it to be too much. It’s not an easy conversation to have with a guy, so, usually, women will back off and act as if they lost interest. When in reality, you chased her away.

#6 She didn’t see a future in the relationship. It was fun and exciting, but she couldn’t picture being in a serious relationship with you. This is something women think about when dating a guy. Can he be someone I see myself with? If she’s not sure, she’ll pull back instead of continuing the relationship.

#7 Things were moving too fast. She liked you, but you were moving at lightning speed. You went from texting to planning your next vacation together. And though it was exciting and fun, she slammed her foot on the brakes, worried that things were moving too fast.

#8 You’re not a priority. You don’t really know what’s going on in other people’s lives. She may be having a hard time with school, busy with her job, or having personal issues. The problem is she can’t give you the attention you need. She realized that she’s scattered and pulled back on your relationship. 

#9 She didn’t want to commit. She may have thought she was ready to commit, but when things became real, she got scared. Not everyone is ready to settle down, and clearly, she realized getting into a relationship wasn’t the right choice for her. Though it’s tough, it’s great that she didn’t drag you on. 

#10 You’re not the person she thought you were. When you first met her, you were open and generally in a good mood. Maybe you’re going through exams or having a tough period at work, which is causing you to feel grumpy and anxious. This isn’t bad, but she wasn’t able to handle this change.

#11 It was just a fling. For her, your relationship wasn’t anything serious. Sure, she had fun hanging out with you, but she wasn’t thinking about investing in it. See, it was just a fling. Sadly, instead of telling you that she doesn’t want the same things as you, she quickly pulled back.

#12 You didn’t share the same values. Maybe you went on a date, and the conversation went down a serious route. Of course, talking about the future, your interests, and your opinions are normal. But that doesn’t mean you will agree on everything. If you said something that didn’t fit her views, it probably turned her off.

 

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Tales of Rock: The Quiet One review – controversial and evasive Bill Wyman documentary

An underdeveloped look at the life of the former Rolling Stone has led to outrage over its portrayal of an alleged sexual predator

It should probably surprise no one that a new documentary about “the quiet” Rolling Stone, Bill Wyman, has kicked up a controversy over what it doesn’t say rather than what it does. Last month, a planned showing of the Oliver Murray-directed film The Quiet One at the Sheffield Doc/Fest drew outrage, and was cancelled, due to what was seen as its insufficient probing of Wyman’s 1989 marriage to Mandy Smith, who was 18 at the time, but whom he began allegedly grooming when she was five years younger than that. (At that time, he was 47). Back then, the story raised some eyebrows in the US, and inspired reams of harrumphing coverage in the British tabloids, but not quite the censorious outrage it might have received today.

In fact, the documentary, which is being shown as part of this year’s Tribeca film festival, does allude to part of the controversy. Fleetingly, Wyman defends his relationship with Smith by saying “it was from the heart. It wasn’t lust, which people were seeing it as.” Notably, he does not talk about how old she was when they first had sex. Of the marriage – which resulted in a separation three years later, and a divorce two years after that – he says, “I was really stupid to ever think it could possibly work. She was too young. I felt she had to go out and see life for a bit.”

In Wyman’s 1991 autobiography, A Stone Alone, he was more forthcoming. “She was a woman at 13,” he wrote. “Everyone accepted her as an adult without question.”

The film is even more circumspect about the most improbable aspect of this story. There’s no mention that, in 1993 – the same year Wyman divorced Smith – his 30-year-old son Stephen married Smith’s mother, who was then 46. (That couple split two years later.)

Such oversights demonstrate the depth of the director’s deference to his subject. But, in return, it would have been nice if he got meatier, or rarer, material from Wyman regarding what the film’s potential audience cares about most – the story of the Stones. Other than one extraordinary scene at the movie’s end, and a few choice bits along the way, The Quiet One skims the surface of the band’s history, alighting mainly on the dramatic highlights – the early riots the band inspired, their contrary image in the press, the 60s drug bust, Altamont. There’s real reason to have expected more fresh material given Wyman’s well-known role as the Stones’ most dedicated, and informed, archivist. He has filmed, saved or collected more about the band than anyone else on Earth. The film positions this fact as a central part of Wyman’s character and even features many scenes of him in his archive where, puzzlingly, he’s shot from behind and in voiceover rather than while speaking directly to the camera.

Perhaps that set-up is meant to underscore the enigmatic nature of his character, something the film provides ample evidence of. Newspaper clippings amplify his reputation as “stone face” based on his affect, which is so deadpan, it could make a corpse look like the life of the party. Wyman also tends to stand stick-stiff on-stage, holding his bass like a soldier with his weapon at rest. In terms of his instrument, there’s a brief allusion to how Wyman wound up inadvertently creating the world’s first fretless bass, an important enough innovation to have merited more discussion.

There is, however, some nice testimony about his unfussy, but highly effective, approach to the bass from informed observers like Eric Clapton and the producer Glyn Johns. He modeled his work on that of Donald “Duck” Dunn of Booker T and the MGs. Clapton calls Wyman’s bass lines “fantastic, unique. It was so precise and so contained. It was just right,” he says.

“Leave space, don’t fill it up,” Wyman says of his approach. “You’re not a fucking lead guitarist. Focus on the drums, so you’ve got a solid foundation that everyone can draw upon.”

The film features some telling quotes from the star about his frightening childhood in the 1940s, when German bombs rained down on his London neighborhood, killing classmates. There’s also important stuff about his relationship with his family. His parents had a “children should be seen and not heard” approach to rearing. Wyman says his father hated his son’s ambition to rise above the family’s poor status, viewing it as a betrayal. Though Wyman says he later forgave his father, scars seem to remain. There’s choice footage, too, of the early days of the band, though, like his childhood years, it’s sometimes padded with stock footage or, when all else fails, animation. As they progressed, Wyman stood apart from the other Stones through his lack of interest in drugs. Instead, he admits, he “probably had an addiction to sex”.

That addiction merits about two sentences in the film. In Stone Alone, the bassist was more effusive on the subject, while also tipping off his talent for chronicling. “I fared much better than the others in the girl department,” he wrote. “In 1965, we sat down one evening in a hotel and worked that out. Since the band had started two years earlier, I’d had 278 girls, Brian (Jones) 130, Mick (Jagger) about thirty, Keith (Richards) six, and Charlie (Watts) none.”

More detail of this sort would have been a useful addition for the film. Many of the subject’s observations are bland. He describes the Stone’s historic concert in Hyde Park, directly after the death of Brian Jones, simply as “extraordinary”.

He’s more colorful about the Stones’ time as tax exiles living in France, where he met James Baldwin, who introduced him to the music of Ray Charles, who became his idol. There’s also rare footage of Wyman creating his hilarious, new wave novelty, solo hit in 1981, Je Suis Un Rock Star, as well as of his heady time backing Howlin’ Wolf, along with Clapton and Charlie Watts.

Of his dramatic decision to leave the Stones, after the 1990 Steel Wheels tour, he says, “I loved what we achieved. But I needed to sort out my personal life – and my future.”

Observers say he has used his time well since then, becoming more appreciative of life and more connected to others. That’s evidenced by a seemingly strong relationship with his third wife, Suzanne Acosta, whom he married in 1993 and with whom he has three children. In the last part of the film, Acosta appears with him in the only scene where he speaks directly to the camera. What follows is as beautifully honest as much of the rest is vague. Wyman tells a story about meeting Ray Charles with such passion, he has to halt several times to keep the tears from flowing. What he finally describes of that meeting offers the first true insight into the hurt, and insecurity, that lies behind the cool front he put up with the Stones and in much of the film. Still, it’s left to his current wife to provide insight into his seminal need for collecting. That desire, she says, reflects a “need to relive his life and find out who he was”.

From the evidence here, it seems that need remains unfulfilled. “It’s bizarre,” Wyman says at the end of the film. “It’s a bizarre life I’ve had.”

  • The Quiet One is showing on Hulu right now.

 

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