6 Places To Meet Someone Special Other Than A Bar

Movies make meeting someone new look too easy. There’s no way people run into each other on a jog, take one look at each other, and immediately fall in love, right? More often than not, people meet on dating apps, through friends, or on nights out — all options that can very quickly start to feel blah if you’re on a steady rotation of “swipe, meet, ghost, get set up with your cousin’s neighbor, meet, fizzle out, repeat.” The good news is, there are tons of places to meet someone other than a bar that are loaded with potential, sans the smell of Clorox and tater tots that infiltrates your neighborhood dive bar.

The idea that you can meet your next bae at any time can seem a little intimidating. It’s pretty safe to say no one wants to be “on the hunt” for someone to date 24/7. But when you think about the aforementioned on-screen movie meet-cutes, one of the things they almost all have in common is that two people met perchance and hit it off. Whether bars just aren’t really your thing, or you’re sick and tired of the same scene, as long as you stay open to the possibility of meeting someone new (wherever you are), you’re already on the right track. Below, seven places where that might just happen.

1. The Grocery Store

Lumina/Stocksy

The grocery store may seem like the last place you’d ever meet someone, but before you nix the possibility completely, think about it: Who do you go grocery shopping with? Your friends? Your roommate? Alone? Everyone has to eat, which means there is no limit to the types of personalities you’ll find in the produce section.

2. A Coffee Shop

Coffee shops are great first date spots, but they’re also great places to meet people. Whether it’s the cute barista behind the counter or the guy reading your favorite book on a comfy corner chair, don’t be afraid to go up and make light conversation. One good opener? When they pass you by with their drink, say, “Wow, that looks so good. What type of drink did you get?” *Mic drop.*

3. The Gym

Some people would definitely prefer to be left alone when they’re getting their workout in, so proceed with caution here. But if you’ve been making flirty eye contact from the treadmill toward the person lifting weights, go say hi. Or maybe your next bae is using the machine you’ve been waiting on for the last 15 minutes, or they accidentally trip you in the bathroom when you’re changing. Listen, don’t discount the gym just because people are sweaty and in the zone. Remember, in the wise words of Elle Woods: Endorphins make you happy! And do you know what’s so fun to do when you’re happy? Flirting.

4. In Class

Studio Firma/Stocksy

A college campus can be a great place to meet someone, largely because almost everyone in college is at a similar point in life in terms of schedules. Everyone is in and out of classes, extra-curricular activities, intramural sports, and parties. (So many parties.) The future love of your life could be living on your same floor, hogging your favorite table at the library, or sitting across you in Chem. You never know.

5. At A Museum, Art Exhibit, Or Gallery

Another great place to meet new people you have things in common with is literally wherever you go to do the things you enjoy. For example, if you’re an art buff, instead of meeting someone at a bar, you could meet them at a local exhibit or gallery that just opened. Maybe you’re into photography, and there’s a photo club in town. Meeting someone where you go for your hobbies almost guarantees that you have at least one interest in common. That, in and of itself, is a great conversation starter.

6. At Work

Yes. I know not everyone can be Jim and Pam from The Office. IRL, dating people you work with can get a little messy if things go south because you can’t exactly go no-contact with a coworker. But if things are great, then working with someone you’re dating can be really nice. You have a go-to lunch partner or someone to grab breakfast with before going into the office together. Not to mention, being able to vent to someone who also knows your annoying co-worker can be hella comforting.

If bars aren’t exactly your scene, fret not. There are countless places you can meet someone special that don’t involve alcohol, dimly lit spaces, or EDM pulsing through the room. Don’t be afraid to step outside your comfort zone and approach someone first. It can be so, so worth it.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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12 Ways Body Language Reveals Someone Is Attracted To You

I’m an expert at reading body language from my 40 years in sales. It has served me well in my dating life…

THEY SAY THAT BODY LANGUAGE ACCOUNTS FOR MORE IN HUMAN COMMUNICATION THAN SPEECH. BUT HOW DOES THIS TRANSLATE OVER TO THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE?

Body language is an unspoken element of communication that we subconsciously use to reveal our true emotions.

The most interesting aspect of body language is it cannot be faked. It is mostly involuntary and cannot be modified to our will.

A research was conducted by Albert Mehrabian in 1971, the results of which are still often quoted today. Mehrabian came to the following conclusions from his research:

  • Words (What is verbally expressed)
  • Tone of voice (How we say the words)
  • Body Language (facial expressions, body posture, gestures, eye movement, touch and the use of space)

All three of these elements can be used to communicate an information to the other person. Often, the tone of voice and body language are combined to become the most powerful form of communication. However, body language – which forms a large part of non-verbal communication – is often used on its own, and is thought to be one of the most ‘telling’ modes of communication.

Once a person is able to read these ‘signs’, they can use it to their full advantage.For example, understanding these signs can help us completely comprehend what the other person is trying to convey through their actions. In turn, it enhances our awareness of other people’s thoughts and emotions. Deciphering body language has a lot to do with our instinctual abilities.

 

But how does these body languages translate over to the language of love?

When we are attracted to someone, our bodies response to the attraction even before our mind can figure out what is happening to us.

Knowing if your date is attracted to you is important to determine if or not you are wasting your time. Sometimes someone might be sweet to you for he/she does not want to dishearten you by turning you down. But their body language will surely tell you that they are not interested in a romantic liaison.

If a person’s body language says “not interested” or “not available”, you should believe it, no matter what he/she verbally expresses. There’s a direct line of communication between the brain and the body that lies outside our conscious awareness. Once sparks are flying between two people, their bodies will generally response to it in a positive way by communicating with some signs.

How to know if he/she is genuinely into you and not just playing around? 

Here are the 12 credible body languages that show someone is attracted to you:

 

1. Open Posture

open posture

Whether it is man or woman, body language that is “open” means attraction. This can be uncrossed arms, nothing blocking the way like a bag or purse, a relaxed face and an easy stance. This means that the person feels relaxed enough with you.

 

Sometime when we are not comfortable with someone, our bodies sense it and automatically reacts to stop the negative flow of energy from the other person. What we do then is engage in behaviors that block our body like we might cross our arms, put some object between the other person’s body and our body or simply look for escape.

If a man stands, his feet firmly planted onto the ground, his body stretching vertically to show his full height, he is open. On the other hand if a woman relaxes back into her chair while sitting, means she trusts you.

2. Leaning in and head tilting

head tilting

Both leaning in and head tilting are known to release pheromones. These are chemical substances that get released by the body altering social behaviour. The pheromones establish non-verbal connection with the other person. These can actually pave the way for a deeper connection between two people.

Leaning in and head tilting while you are verbally communicating to him/her also shows that the other person is paying deep attention to what you are saying. He/she might really be interested in getting to know you beyond the surface.

3. Feet point towards

feet point towards

If your feet points towards a person, there’s a high likelihood you feel at ease with them. Similarly, if your feet shows an “exit posture”, or have a natural tendency of moving away, check your feelings for the person. May be, you do not feel safe, comfortable or understood with the person.

An “exit” orientation is a sign you’re engaging with the person out of specific context rather than authentic interest. Notice to which side the feet of the other person points. If it consistently points to you, even in a group setting, you are undoubtedly under his/her radar.

4. Trying to look one’s best

trying to look one's best

Courtship unconsciously entails looking your best. One of the important components of attraction is physical attraction and it is mostly based on how one externally looks.

It has nothing to do with beauty but everyone wants to look their best when they are presenting themselves to the person they are interested in. Notice how the person is acting around you. Is he/she engaging in smoothing his/her clothes or fixing their watches, ties and other aspects of their looks?

If you see someone take the extra last minute self-care, he/she is definitely trying to attract you. 

5. Eye contact 

eye contact

Have you noticed them making eye contacts with you whenever you looked at them? Were there moments when she/he stole glances with you, looked down or to the sides and then looked back at you to see if you looked again?

 

This is a typical behavior of a person who is genuinely interested in you. Eye contact means that they are paying undivided attention to you and wants to read in your eyes what you feel for them. A Confident guy will make a more steady eye contact, while a shy guy might make broken eye contacts.

Prolonged eye contact is a sure sign that they are attracted to you. 

 

6. Touching hair 

touching hair

Touching one’s own hair while he/she is talking with you or sitting in front of you can mean that they are feeling the heat of the attraction. But it can also be a sign of nervousness and being uncomfortable. So before reaching conclusions, look for additional signs along with hair touching like smiling.

If a man sweeps his fingers through his hair, he is kind of preening for the woman. If a woman might lightly twirls her hair or plays with the ends, along with smiling, she is attracted.

7. Mirroring

 

mirroring

Mirroring is when someone subconsciously copies the movements, gestures, postures and even behavior pattern of the person they can connect to – it can be any part of the body like hands, face, eyes, legs or even the entire body. Mostly this happens during social interactions between closely connected people.

Notice whether the person is taking up your poses or gestures. He/she might just be getting uncontrollably attracted to you. 

8. Blushing or flushing 

blushing or flushing

Blushing is normally involuntary and triggered by emotional stress tying candor, such as that associated with passion, embarrassment, anger, or romantic stimulation.

 

As the attraction builds, blood rushes to the face making one look flushed. Blushing happens subconsciously and one cannot control it in any way.

The lips may also become more reddish and the eyes whiter and brighter.

9. Parted lips or lips licking 

parted lips

Women usually lick their lips when they feel attracted to someone. Men on the other hand have a slightly parted lips to indicate interest in conversing with you.

When a person does this, he/she is feeling sexual tension with you or is open to conversing on this topic.

10. Smiling 

smiling

Have you ever noticed your subject of love smiling at you? Does he/she smile more often when you are around?

Smiling is another way that people show their availability. A genuine smile appears to touch the eyes of the person and it’s easily distinguishable from a fake smile which is restricted to the person’s mouth only.

When a person can’t seem to do anything but smile when he/she sees you, he/she is attracted.

11. Touching moments 

touching moments

If the person you like, touches you, even if it looks accidental it might not be so. Even if it is the briefest touch of a finger or his/her arm rubbing against your arm, it shows that they are interested. 

If you find the person touching you out of context and for no reason as such, you should know that the touch was intentional just to feel you.

12. Face watching 

face watching

How one traces his/her gaze across your face also indicates different types of attractions. If his/her gaze shifts from the eyes, the nose, and to the lips and chin, she/he is definitely physically attracted to you. While someone looking deeply into your eyes might indicate his interest to know your personality.

If you find more than 1 sign out of these 12 signs, you should be sure enough that he/she is attracted to you. 

How many signs have you noticed in him/her? 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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California Dreamin’ – 1982 to 1984 – She Didn’t Just Say That, Right?

We were playing a gig at Gazzari’s on the strip, I got friendly with one of the cutest girls who worked there. I was always on good terms with her, but she was one of the top ones that every guy knew of and most of us just dreamt of what it would be like to date her.

I got the courage to ask her to grab coffee one night. I went to pick her up from her house and she invited me in while she grabbed something. It was near Christmas time so I was looking around at the house that was in full holiday mode. She asked if I liked the decorations and I casually said, “Yeah! Only thing that’s missing is a mistletoe!” …Which only now as I type this out realize was way more suave than I ever realized (self reminiscing five!)

Her immediate response to this was, “Oh, do you want a kiss?!” and then kissed me right on the lips. Then asked, “ready to go?” like it’s no big deal.

Hell yeah!

We went to a local coffee shop and the conversation was already starting to get weird, but what the fuck do I care?

We grab our coffee and the conversation starts to get weirder – she goes, “What if none of this is real? What if nothing we did ever mattered?”

OK, I’m in a pretty well read guy, I can hang with this I think to myself.

Her: “You know this night is going to end eventually right? I could die right now and it wouldn’t matter. Or kill those people over there”

o_O

I make small talk like well, the people we matter to most will remember us so it matters blah blah blah I can’t even remember what came out of my mouth, because I was afraid something might set her off. We walk back to the van.

I run into a friend. He tells me he’s in Hollywood with another one of our friends and I should come out.

We start driving and she tells me stories about random guys she’s been dating and one of them who she hated, so she slept with him purposely while she was on her period and bled all over his sheets, but also hasn’t been tested for STDs in a while, but isn’t worried about it. The she starts screaming out the window at random cars while we’re on the freeway going 75mph (everyone speeds in LA, don’t judge!)

I’m gripping the steering wheel trying to remain focused and figure out wtf is going on.

She notices my biceps (Not that big) and goes, “whoa! Look at those guns! Want to see my guns?” Proceeds to lift her dress up to flash me.

She pulls her dress down, lifts it up from her knees, so she’s half naked in my car, and I’m staring in shock, while also trying not to crash.

If you’ve lost count, I’ve now just made out and seen this fantasy girl nearly naked.

We get to Hollywood and park, and she randomly yells at this truck that drives by, telling them to fuck off. I ask her wtf she did that for and she says “They were talking shit!”

…No…no one said anything. Keep walking and she’s looking behind her at nothing.

Since we weren’t 21 yet, we met up with my friends and went to this 18+ place. Except she doesn’t have anything with her. Bouncer says he won’t let her in without ID.

She flips and yells “DO THESE TITS NOT LOOK 18!?” and proceed to flash him and half the Hollywood strip.

I’ll never forget the look on my friend’s faces nor will I forget what the bouncer said: “Go home, apologize to your mother and your father for being so embarrassing, and don’t ever come back.”

This story keeps going, but I know phicklephilly fans aren’t ones for long ones, so I’ll conclude by saying I spoke to her sister a few months later and she informed me her sister was diagnosed with schizophrenia and been put on various medication, which she hasn’t been taking.

Another weird night.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Facebook: phicklephilly       Instagram: @phicklephilly       Twitter: @phicklephilly