I met Rebecca 3 years ago on a date. Rebecca has recently made an appearance in my life so I thought I’d re-run this series so everyone won’t have to go back and search for her series to catch up. Enjoy!
Fall of 2016
We headed down Chestnut Street to Mix. I love Mix. It’s just slightly outside of the Rittenhouse bubble. How can you not love a place that has a full bar and serves delicious reasonably priced brick oven pies? Sure Zavino is good down at 13th and Sansom, but I’m not going down there. Too crowded, and too expensive.
We get there and head to the back room. The front of the house looks like a regular pizza place, but you keep walking, and the back is a bar with tables. We grab a high top and look at the menus. It’s clear to me a great weight has been lifted from Rebecca’s shoulders. We order up and sip our beers.
Piping hot delicious pie comes out and all is right with the world.
“What’s better than pizza and beer?” She says, as we tap our bottles and take a swig. “Free pizza and beer,” was my reply. She laughs and looks at me while taking a pull from her Corona. “Hey, how come you didn’t ‘Super Like’ me on Tinder?” She quips, smiling.
“What? I don’t ‘Super Like’ anybody.”
“Come on. You must have at least tried it once.”
“Don’t you only get a few of those? You can’t ‘Super Like’ everybody, or people would do it.”
“See? You know about it, so you must have done it at least once.”
“Okay. Maybe once. Now that you mention it, I may have ‘Super Liked’ somebody just to try it.”
“Do you remember who?”
“Maybe it was some really hot little Asian chick.”
“Oh, so you’re into Asian girls.”
“Who isn’t? They’re adorable, smart, and nice.”
She laughs. “Did you ever date an Asian girl?”
“I did. When we first got to L.A. I did.”
“I thought you had a steady girlfriend out there?”
“I did. But it was before her. I was 19 years old. Back then the drinking age in New Jersey was 18 and I was legal, but in California it was 21 so I had to get my friend Frank who was 21 to get all of our alcohol. So we were in a bar one night checking out some bands. He got the drinks and brought them to the table and I told him as thanks, I’d bring us some talent to the table.”
“Talent?” she inquired.
“You know what I mean. I went downstairs and met these two sisters. The Yamomatos. One was my buddy’s age and her little sister was my age. I told them we had a table upstairs and asked them to join us and they did. It was so easy back then.
“So what happened? Did you guys sleep with the sisters? I think I like this story.”
“No. Well yes. My buddy slept with the older one eventually. I didn’t sleep with the little sister.”
“She was in love with this older guy that she was banging.”
“Really? I like her already.”
“Oh, thanks a lot. You’re happy I didn’t get any loving.”
“No. Think about why I like her…” She gives me that grin and those eyes.
“Ohhh…” I’m smiling now.
“So how did it all end up?”
“My buddy would ask me to leave our apartment some nights so he could throttle big sister. I remember he used to put a sock on the door knob to let everybody know it was off-limits.”
“Oh my God, that is so college.”
“Well he went to college, I didn’t, so I guess he had a move.”
“You never tried to get baby sister into bed?”
“No, she liked making out with me and stuff, but not much else. Just dating stuff, like going to record stores.”
“So nothing ever?”
“Well, we fooled around some, but she used to like this thing where I stuck my tongue in her ear for periods of time. It used to really drive her nuts. I’ve never met anyone since then that was into that.”
“So her heart belonged to some older guy, huh?”
“Yep. I think she said he was in his thirties or early forties. At the time I just couldn’t understand that. I mean, she had this young, lean rock guitarist, lion cub right in front of her. Me with my long blonde mane of hair and all.”
“Yea, but you were young and inexperienced. Maybe she wanted a man.”
“Well, at the time I didn’t understand why she would want that. I was right there.”
“Well, I’m sure he had things that you couldn’t provide.”
“Oh, you mean like expensive dinners, and jewelry and stuff like that?”
“No. Maybe she wanted a gentleman that would take her to the museum, not just to impress her, but could actually appreciate the art, and talk about it. Maybe he took her to the ballet and the symphony. You don’t know. I’m sure she was attracted to you cause you were cute, but maybe she loved him, and that’s why she reserved that part of herself only for him. You might have just been her boy toy.”
“Probably. But I enjoyed being with her because she was cute and nice. I hadn’t ever kissed an Asian girl. I like things that are new and different.”
“Do you see the correlation here?” She says inquisitively.
I paused. “I do, Rebecca.”
“Were these girls smart?”
“Of course, they were Asian. Their parents worked in pharmaceuticals. They lived out in Washington Hills. That’s a nice area. I’m surprised somebody didn’t call the cops when my 1969 Volkswagen mini bus rolled up, and a German and an Irishman jumped out and went into the house. Their parents were away a lot. Palm Springs and Vegas mostly. They had an intercom in their house. I didn’t even know what that was.”
“Why would someone have that?”
“It was a big house. They had money. I would get on the intercom and pretend to be their father to scare my buddy when he was upstairs in the bedroom fooling around with big sister. I would be like; “Dude! We have to get out of here! Their parents are home! Then I would do an awful impression of an angry Asian man hollering over the intercom that he was going to kill the dirty Irishman that was deflowering his daughter with his shillelagh.”
Rebecca lost her shit right there. She was laughing so hard she choked on her pizza. It reminded me of when I used to do funny bits at the dinner table with my Mom and sisters. I would actually try to get them to spit out their food, or even better make them laugh so hard they passed something through their noses.
“Oh my God, that is crazy. You’re so funny!”
I’ve heard that so many times before from women. I would say it’s my gift, but it’s just the way my mind works. Sometimes people mistake light heartedness as immaturity or simplicity, but they’re all wrong. To be truly funny you have to see the sadness and pain of the world. It’s all time and irony. A mind that can laugh at tragedy. One who can make light of things that are painful or embarrassing is an open mind. One who can laugh at himself. It’s like all great theater. Joy and tragedy. I was so happy to make lovely Rebecca laugh. I haven’t felt this kind of joy since my ex-girlfriend Michelle, when we used to talk about everything.
And I mean Everything. (See: Michelle – A Brand New Day)
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