It’s the start of a new decade, baby, and that means coming at dating and relationships with some extra intentionality. While New Year’s resolutions can look different for everyone (and you don’t need to change yourself just because another 365 days have passed), thinking about some dating goals for 2020 can help you feel empowered and inspired as your mix and mingle your way through the year.
From expressing your needs to working through healthy conflict, creating and maintaining a relationship with someone can take a lot of work. Though movies may depict dating as serendipitous (think: meeting someone in a coffee shop and running off into the sunset while a Norah Jones song plays in the background), in real life, connecting with someone you care about can mean putting yourself out there and constantly striving to maintain an open mind. While it’s important to check in with yourself all year long, the start of a new year can be an extra special moment to look back at past relationships and think about how you want to move forward in your love life.
I asked 10 people about their romantic goals for 2020, and what they said will have you dating more deliberately for the rest of the decade.
1. Date Someone Who Goes To Therapy
This year I want to find a nice person with shared interests, who asks me questions and texts me first, reciprocates my kindnesses, is emotionally available, and goes to therapy. That’s my goal.
— R.J., 27
2. Be Single
Honestly, my ‘dating goal’ is to not date for a while in 2020. In the past, I’ve gone from relationship to relationship, and I haven’t taken time to just be with myself and see what I really want. This year I want to try being single for a while or see people casually without getting so emotionally invested.
— Charli, 23
3. Pour My Heart Into It
2020 is the year of eager boyfriend energy. I want to be an eager boyfriend. Literally, all I want is someone to accept gifts from me and to kiss my face in public. I want to love fully and really show up for people.
— Sarah, 26
4. Embrace My Independence
I guess my serious goal is to gain independence within my relationship. Because I’m dating my best friend, we can get a bit insular, really ‘us against the world,’ and the reality is we both need other friendships outside our workplace and our romantic relationship. I want to value my friendships the same way I value my romantic relationship.
— Luna, 23
5. Be Unashamed Of Vulnerability
My dating goal for 2020 is to be unashamed of my vulnerability and allow myself to be indulgent in my emotions. Basically, I’m trying to get my heart broken in 2020. LOL, but actually? To really feel every moment of my relationships without fear.
— Kaylee, 21
6. Know When Something Isn’t Working Out
I tend to stick around in relationships that I’m not really happy in because I think, ‘What if I’m not really giving them a chance?’ I think my ‘goal’ for 2020 is to be better at balancing my intuition around feeling like a person or situation isn’t right for me.
— Lyndee, 30
7. Go On More Memorable Dates
My goal is to go on more memorable dates with people, even if we’re not ‘seriously’ dating yet. You don’t need to be seriously committed to someone to have a fun night out or go on a unique date that isn’t drinks or dinner. I want to bring more people flowers and make more people playlists. I want to go on hikes and road trips and do fun things with the people I’m casually seeing.
— Campbell, 22
8. Advocate For My Needs
I want to learn how to better advocate for my own emotional needs instead of only prioritizing my partner’s, or the people I’m seeing. I love how much I care about people, and I think it’s really special that I can be so attentive, but I need to make sure my own needs are getting met as well.
— Georgia, 25
9. Use More Lube
Use more lube. 2020 is the year to use. More. Lube. By that, I really mean, I want to communicate better during sex. Say if something hurts. Say if I’m not into it. Prioritize my body and comfort.
— Rebecca, 23
10. Heal From My Breakup
My dating goal for 2020 is to allow myself time to heal from my breakup, to be patient, and if I happen to meet someone I like, to take things slow and not rush into something just to fill the void of my breakup. And to remember to have fun!
— Shell, 28
11. Stop Trying To Force Things
I think my biggest goal for dating or anything relationship-wise is to remember that you can only control what you do. I want to stop bending over backward for people and working so hard just to get a kernel of attention from someone. It can be tricky to remember in the moment when you have a crush on someone, but if you have to try so hard just to get their attention, it’s just not going to be worth it. You don’t need to force anything.
— Jenna, 28
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