How to Forget an Ex for Good: 14 Proven Ways to Happily Move On

Learning how to forget an ex isn’t easy. It doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Try out these 14 tips if you want to forget your ex and move on with your life.

I was never good at moving on from my past relationships. And when social media showed me how I could become the biggest stalker in the world, well, let’s just say I really worked on developing how to forget an ex.

I would spend hours examining posts, trying to figure out the possible hidden messages, see if they were in pain over the breakup, missing every moment of my presence. Obviously, that was mostly my ego doing the social media stalking, but let’s save that for another day.

The point is forgetting an ex isn’t as easy as people think it is.

How to forget an ex – The little steps you need to take

If you were emotionally bonded with someone, you’re breaking that bond. You’re no longer a couple; you’re transitioning to strangers. It’s a weird transition to make, and that’s why it’s so hard to do.

Most of the time, it happens on a whim, and you’re left feeling displaced and shocked. But that doesn’t mean you won’t be able to move on. Yes, it’s a shock, and it’ll be hard, but it’s entirely doable. In other words, your life isn’t over, and you will find love again.

It’s time you moved on and learned how to get over an ex.

#1 Stop stalking. I know you want to see their social media and make sure they haven’t moved on yet. But, you need to stop stalking them. Delete them from all social media, and whatever apps you have them on. How can you move on if they’re constantly in your face? Stop stalking.

#2 Focus on yourself. Um, hello. You’re single now, which means you have all the time in the world to focus on yourself. Tis the season for self-care, and now, it’s time you practiced it. Find a new activity, spend time with your friends and family, or go for hikes. Focus on doing things you enjoy and make you happy.

#3 Get yourself busy. If you’re laying on the couch all day, your mind will be focused on them. You’ll be sitting there, thinking about how they laugh or why they dumped you. It’s not a good move. Instead, get yourself busy. Whether it’s work, school, or volunteering, fill your day up with activities. The less you think about them, the better.

#4 Reflect on the breakup. There are two people in every relationship, meaning you have a responsibility in the relationship as well. It’s time for you to reflect on the relationship and see what went wrong. What were the things you did in the relationship? What should you work on for yourself?

#5 Think about the things you didn’t like. Every relationship has its ups and downs. There are things you liked about your partner and the relationship, and things you didn’t. During a breakup, we tend to only look at the good times. But this is when you should focus on the attributes you didn’t like. For your next relationship, you’ll be more aware of what you don’t want in a partnership.

#6 Hang out with your friends and family. Spend time with your support group as they’re the ones who will stand by you through the ups and downs. Listen to their advice and accept their love and support. And if you want to pull through, you’ll need those people around you.

#7 Don’t force them out of your mind. When it comes to knowing how to forget an ex, if you try too hard to not think about them, it’s not going to work. It’ll do the opposite. Let yourself grieve; this isn’t a race. Grieving isn’t something you can control or force. If they’re on your mind, process these thoughts and feelings. With time, they’ll disappear on their own. 

#8 If you’re still sleeping together, stop. Yeah, I know you think that you can continue sleeping with them without having feelings, but that’s a fairytale. You’ll never be able to move on if you’re still intimate with your ex. The sex may be good, but you know what’s better? Moving on.

#9 Grieve. Breaking up with someone is a grieving process. You no longer have your ex in your life, and it’s a transition. Give yourself the time to be emotional. Cry, scream, yell, get all your emotions out, and go through the process.

#10 Write your feelings down. Your friends and family will eventually get tired of talking about the breakup. This isn’t a bad thing. Really, there’s only so much other people can hear about it. So, write your feelings down, and get out everything that’s floating around in your mind. Just get it out.

#11 Don’t be friends with them. Yeah, I know you think you could be friends with them, but let’s get real here. It’s not going to happen, at least not right now. You can’t grieve and move on if you’re still hanging out with your ex-partner. So take a solid break from them, and when you feel you’ve moved on, then bring them back into your life.

#12 Volunteer and give back. We underestimate the value of giving back. When we’re stuck in our heads, it’s hard to see the good things you have in your life. But volunteering will keep you busy and will direct your time and energy towards giving back.

#13 Plan a trip. Sometimes, you just need to get out of your environment to help you put things into perspective. And you don’t even need to travel the world. A weekend trip to the next town over can do wonders. Plus, a change of scenery can help you reflect and inspire you for the future.

#14 Give yourself time to move on. When there’s a breakup, you want to move on as soon as possible. This is why we rebound and act like everything is okay. But in reality, you’re grieving. It’s going to take months for you to move on, and that’s okay. Give yourself time to move on.

 

Understanding how to forget an ex isn’t something that can be done overnight. But, give yourself a little bit of time, and you’ll move on to greener pastures.

 

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13 Types Of Guys Who Are Still Single After 35 – And They’re All Pretty Terrible

I’m Number 11!

Because the dating scene just ain’t what it use to be.

When you’re in your early 20s, almost everyone is single. Then, around 25 or so, “it” happens. Men, all of a sudden, want to start settling down. And if you’re as unlucky in love as I am, that means that you will end up being single, still trying to find The One who’s actually right for you. In a couple of years, almost everyone you know will end up settling down.

Unfortunately, single men who reach age 35 without being in a relationship are often dumpster fires. Like, bad ones. Speaking as someone who’s been there, dated that, and followed all sorts of dating advice, these are the types of single men you’ll meet after you hit the big 3-5.

1. The Aging Player

If he was still 22, this might be alright. But when a guy’s single at 30 and still juggling women, it’s just sad. People who need to keep up the “Player’s Lifestyle” are not happy people; they’re often very lonely and very insecure.

They often have issues they may not even be aware of. Sure, these guys can coast along when they’re 30, but usually, by 40, they realize that men’s looks fade, too, and money can only go so far. Contrary to popular belief, men do end up losing value over time, too. After all, money can’t buy love — just sex.

2. The Bitter Man

Oh, he went through the wringer, he did! Much like bitter women, Bitter Men had just one too many bad experiences with the dating scene and now they are done. Unlike bitter women, though, Bitter Men express their bitterness with rage, and are very vocal about it. They want you to know the dating equivalent of, “You didn’t fire me! I quit!”

Much like the Aging Player, these men are very sad people. They may need mental wellness help, and they may need to do some soul searching. They know not all women are like that, but they’ve reached the point where the resentment and rejection got so bad that they no longer could have a healthy relationship, even if they wanted to.

3. The Frantic Man

Biological clocks happen with men, too. One day, this guy, possibly a player, woke up and realized that he needs a family. Now, he’s on the prowl, and he’s a bit desperate.

His friends are getting worried, and so are his family members. He’s hitting up Match.com trying to find The One who will be a good baby mama. Oddly enough, he’s probably not that bad of a catch. However, you better be willing to settle down yesterday with this one. Like, babies, ASAP.

4. The Divorced Dad

He’s a great guy, things just didn’t work out with his ex. There’s a small catch to dating him though, and it’s not really that small. He’s got a kid… or five. You better believe that he’s looking for a replacement mother for them, but there’s good news.

These guys, if you want to have a ring and kids, are a good option. Sort of. They can have baggage that might make you think twice, especially if you hear rants about baby mamas thrown in the mix.

5. The Married Guy Who Claims He’s Single

Yeah, they’re not single. They’re just horrible human beings who probably should divorce the poor women they swindled into marriage. Nothing about guys like this is sexy.

This is a huge portion of the reason why so many women end up having trust issues. But trust me, he’s in the minority. At least, that’s what I’m hoping is true.

6. The Dumpster Fire

Dumpster Fires are actually not always physically unappealing, per se, but that’s often icing on the cake. You see, the problem with Dumpster Fires is that they are literally unable to behave normally with other people. They often have an idea that something might be wrong, but they can’t, for the life of them, understand why they have such a hard time with people.

There are a million reasons why a Dumpster Fire could be a persona non grata in the dating scene. Whether it’s due to Nice Guy Syndrome, drug use, violent mood swings, or something else, the fact is that the Dumpster Fire is always a s***show in the dating scene, regardless of how much they can’t see that fact.

7. Mr. You’re-So-Nice-As-A-Friend

Some people, regardless of looks or personality, just don’t seem to have the right “zazz” to be considered f***able by others. He might have an “uncle face,” put off the wrong vibes, or just have some kind of mismatch in hormones.

Sadly, there’s not much people in this situation can do, aside from continuing their search, trying to improve themselves more, or giving up.

8. The Optimistic Quitter

Sometimes, love just doesn’t seem to be a priority, or rather, just doesn’t seem to be in the cards. Men, more than women, are likely to just stop trying to date anyone and are also likely to stop pursuing partners. Why? Because in many situations, it just doesn’t make sense to keep trying only to face an increased change of being shot down.

What’s cool about Optimistic Quitters is that they aren’t necessarily bitter towards women, and that they would be open if a girl were to approach them. However, due to the dating scene being what it is, they may not even pick up when a lady’s interested anymore.

9. The Manchild

Narcissistic and totally irresponsible, the Manchild usually does believe he wants to date someone. However, he doesn’t actually want a girlfriend. He wants a new mom. He also wants to have a mom that blows him and provides for him.

Woe is the woman who finds herself a Manchild boyfriend, because she’ll likely be burned out by the time she leaves him. Outwardly, though, he seems okay… at least at the start. That’s what keeps him being different than a Dumpster Fire.

10. The Guy Who Realizes He’s Messed Up And Refuses To Date Because Of It

Many of the types of single men you’ll see after 30 are just not respectable from a dating standpoint. But this guy? This guy, you have to respect. It takes a lot of willpower to actually admit that there are problems that need to be fixed before you get into dating again.

Some of these guys swear off dating permanently, other guys are just doing a temporary break. Either way, at least he’s being honest with himself.

11. The Guy Who Legit Is Happily Single And Won’t Change That

Social standards, be damned. Some folks are happy being single and want to stay that way. It happens to both men and women, so we can’t really hate. (I think that’s me!)

12. The Catch

He’s got a Master’s from Yale, a kickass body, and, oh yeah, no psychological issues. He lives an action-packed life. He doesn’t have kids, either.

Problem? Well, he’s looking for his equivalent in a woman and, unfortunately, rare guys like this will end up staying single for longer because it’s so hard to find someone that perfect, regardless of gender.

13. The Choosing Beggar

Some folks hear the phrase “Beggars can’t be choosers” and don’t realize it applies to them. As unromantic as it is to say, there’s no such thing as a totally perfect partner, especially if you, yourself, are far from perfect.

However, Choosing Beggars will not give up their standards of seeing women who are modelesque, 5’10”, with a booming career, regardless of the fact that they often have pot bellies, bad personalities, and dead-end jobs. Oh well, single life isn’t that bad, right?

Which one of these losers are you? Do you know anyone who fits any of these descriptions?

I do!

 

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Cherie – Chapter 61 – Movie Date

Cherie’s been going through a lot as always. School. Graduating in June with a BS in Psychology that she has worked so hard for. Raising her son and working at CHOP.

A bunch of shit I could never deal with. But the last time she was chilly to me was the last time she cam down here. She was never like that. She was closed the whole day until we went back to the house and had sex.

Once that happened she was having explosive orgasms and loving me like she always did.

Noted.

I know what I need to do to break her wall of defense.

It was pretty clear clear cut. She was shitty to me until I fucked her and got all of the negative energy out of her and she came back to me.

My Cherie was back after we had sex and I was walking her to her car.

I have to deal with this. Life could be worse. What middle aged man wouldn’t want a hot, smart, beautiful, fit girl that drives 40 miles to come to your house and makes love to you and wants nothing from you.

It’s uncanny. But it’s worked beautifully for 2 years.  Cherie is busy with medical school and work and I’m building businesses in Rittenhouse. We both work so much it’s nearly impossible to see each other.

But we’ve decided to try to be better. She knows the Saturdays I’m off and we are making it work.

I broke the shell two weeks ago, but she’s coming down today and what will it look like?

I know what works, but Cherie tells me she’s on her period so there will be no swimming in the waters during shark week.

I’m fine with that. My relationship with Cherie isn’t driven by sex. You would think that based on all of the mad sex we have, but no.

If baby says it’s off limits I’m fine with it.

Do you know why?

The sex with Cherie is some mind bending explosive mayhem of joy, but if I can’t have her, I’m super happy to date her.

Our time is limited and the sex is amazing but if she says it’s off limits but wants to come to the city I LOVE taking her on dates. Pizza, the movies! Anything she wants. Because she never wants anything from me. She’s just happy to be with me.

So if I can’t be with her I’m actually happy to take my girlfriend that I love on a proper date and spend some money on her.

Because she wants nothing from me!

I survive a horrible LYFT ride from some crazy woman that actually seems certifiable but make it to the theater on time. I text Cherie and tell her I’ve arrived.

I love Cherie and am happy she’s making the trek to come to the city. She’s stuck in traffic so our chances of seeing the film we were supposed to see is blown.

I don’t even care because it’s my first day off in a month and I’m just happy to see my baby. We can see whatever she wants.

She parks and rolls in late. Again, I don’t even care because I’m just happy to see my girlfriend. The woman that I really love.

We decide on the remake of Deathwish by Eli Roth and it’s awesome.

Cherie complains of tummy troubles but I plow buttery popcorn and diet coke into my gullet.

She seems different.

I’m doing everything I can to pump her up and tell her how much I adore her and how great she is, but it just seems misspent.

At this point I don’t even see it because I’m so happy to be taking my love on a date. I love dates!

Death Wish is a hard film. Bruce Willis. Eli Roth directs. That’s going to be some hard shit. The original in the 70’s is actually worse and one of the gang members was actually Jeff Goldblum! Check it out.

I’ve seen a lot of mad films in my life, but like my father before me, I’ve softened. I can’t take films like that anymore. I’ve been a husband and a dad. I don’t want to see that. It was upsetting, but once retribution happens, I’m, loving it hard.

But I notice Cherie isn’t being her loving, passionate self.

I’m fine. I don’t know what her current deal is so I even compensate with how great she is and how much I love her.

After the movie we kiss in her Saab and I cup her supple breast as our tongues swirl. But it all feels forced. By me. That’s never how I roll. All my love and sex is always a mutual celebration.

What’s up with Cherie?

We drive around a bit and then she ends up dropping me off and going home. I know she’s on her moons but what’s up with my girl?

Things seem amiss.

She texts me that she made it home safe.

But then there’s something else she says.

To be continued…

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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