10 Unexpectedly Brilliant Places to Find True Love (And How to Make It Happen When You Get There)

Break your routine and try something new.

Even after all these years as a dating coach and advice columnist, I am still amazed how many men and women complain about the difficulties they have with dating.

If you ask me, the best dating advice I can offer is that men and women must learn how to open up and talk with each other without jumping to harsh judgments or self-sabotaging potentially healthy relationships due to their own subconscious insecurities.

But that may be easier said than done.

One challenging common denominator both men and women face is a lack of creativity in figuring out how and where to meet new people in their quest to find true love.

 

In a 2018 survey of over 2000 people, it was found that meeting serious partners online is less popular that one may believe.

According to Mic, “more 18- to 34-year-olds met their current significant others through mutual friends than through any other means, including dating apps — close to 39% of respondents said they met ‘through friends in common,’ closely followed by 22% who said they met ‘out in a social setting.'”

But which social settings are best when you’re looking for a loving relationship?

The most obvious choice for many is the bars and nightclub scene, but this is “one night stand” territory no matter how you look at it.

There will always be the exception of a few people who end up in a loving, committed relationship with someone they meet in a club, but for the most part, it’s a short-lived scenario. Most people wake up the next day and seldom call the number they have in their coat pocket from the night before. This is mainly due to too much alcohol and lack of confidence to make the phone call.

Meeting in a lounge or a restaurant is a better environment, but you have to be more creative, as there is no dancing to seduce or lure someone in. You actually have to converse with them.

In general, alcohol is a great relaxer for many women and it works wonders for men looking for something more physically intimate, and that’s exactly why the bar scene is becomes a repetitively unfruitful pattern for so many frustrated people. It’s available on every corner and everyone hopes they will be an exception to the rule.

Unfortunately, trying to meet women or men of substance in a bar is usually the same old story every weekend — everyone wakes up perturbed and lonely.

Here are a few dating tips to keep in mind when meeting new men or women:

  • If you are using online dating services or apps like OKCupid, Match, Tinder, Bumble or any of the others, pay attention to what they say they’re looking for. Are they looking for love or a relationship? If they don’t say so, believe them. They are telling you they are not available for what you want.Some people are only really interested in a sexual relationship, and that’s OK, but might not be what you’re up for, if you’re looking for love. Really read their profiles and pay attention to any red flags. Many people choose to ignore them, even the obvious ones, because they are desperate to meet someone.
  • Pay attention to the groupie types who only date or sleep with a certain high-profile type of person. Many prominent athletes, musicians or wealthy business people frequent the same watering holes. This is a gold mine for men and women on the prowl for money or status.If you’re one of these people, beware. If you’re not one of those people, trying to win over someone looking to climb the ladder of social status is likely a waste of your time. Be aware of women who are addicted to a celebrity type lifestyle and cannot date anyone who is not in this league.
  • Opt out of being the constant mistress! Now there’s a novel idea … being someone’s number two forever. Who would want that?Married men will stop continually coming on to you when you no longer send out the signals that you are interested in being a mistress. Reach for something better.
  • Watch out for people who only date the perfect and beautiful types. Their physical standards are so high that everything else is overlooked in the relationship. Remember, people become more attractive as you get to know them (if they possess the personality traits you desire). Beauty fades, real connection is what lasts and builds lasting love.

So, what keeps you looking for love in all the wrong places?

Finding true love should not be costly or painful. In addition, getting yourself stuck in a routine will close doors on other available options that could ultimately work for you.

If you classify yourself as a certain “type”, you won’t allow yourself to grow to your full potential you become stuck. And that’s why you’re having so much trouble finding love!

Fear can be a powerful suppressor, so be cognizant of any forming patterns that keep you from having love in your life because you are afraid of the unknown.

Take baby steps to challenge your demons.

 

Here are 10 of my favorite tried-and-true places for my clients and friends to meet new people:

1. A driving range or golf course

Preferably at an executive par 3 course, as less serious golfers will go there.

2. Tennis courts

Use the back wall where other solo players will practice.

3. The gym

Be friendly and acknowledge people near you. Say hi and take off your headphones — and don’t bother other people who are wearing headphones, unless they speak to you first. Headphones are a big “I’m not looking to make friends” signal.

4. The airport

Talk to people in the holding room or in restaurants.

5. Hiking trails or a beach/park with high foot-traffic

If you’re an active person looking for someone active — go to active places!

6. Sporting venues

Go to a hockey game, soccer game or a golf tournament.

7. Any social event where people can mingle

Do not put yourself in a booth; always stay open to the room. Smile at people as they pass.

8. Join a meet-up group

Check your local area for the numerous groups available or start one! It’s a great opportunity to meet people with similar interests.

9. Take a course or lesson

Learn something new where will be people there who have similar interests as you.

10. Speed dating events and online dating sites or apps

Do your homework and find the best ones that work for you and reflect your values.

If you don’t have the strength to get out of reoccurring heartbreaking situations, then start observing some of your friends who may be stronger than you and follow their lead.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help or to hire someone professionally for a short time.

Change up your dating patterns and the venues so that you have a better chance of meeting someone of substance. Everyone deserves love in their life.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Alicia – Chapter 1 – Teller About It

STOP! This one is a little NSFW!

I worked in banking for 25 years. Probably the only thing I ever made my dad proud of me. But what a foolish choice. I did it as a young man to escape the long hours of retail. I never conformed before that. I wanted to be Joe Perry. But that wasn’t meant to be.

So sadly, when I left retail I went into retail banking. I did really well due to my low self-esteem and being an over achiever.

But now having been in the industry for so long and knowing everything about it, I keep my active account at a credit union. I like being a member, not a customer.

I go to my branch at 16th and Arch. There’s this one teller that I phicklephilly love. If you read this blog, you know what that is. I don’t really love her like I love my girlfriend but I adore her for purely lustful reasons.

She’s beautiful and sullen. Dark hair and eyes. I do what I can to light her up but there is little spark between Alicia, me, and 3 inches of bullet proof glass.

There is one thing about her that drives me crazy that normally I think most men would hate. But I’m not like anybody else. She has a dark floss of hair on her forearms.

I know, it sounds masculine, but I find it incredibly hot on this young lady. I come from the 70’s and I like hair. I like all of that. Hair is protection, maturity, and holds the scent.

Alicia’s hairy arms are so sexy to me. When she has a short-sleeved shirt on I feel like she’s sitting there with her top off and in the same moment grossing out her young male coworkers.

I like that she doesn’t care and just lets that sweet, soft fur fly.

Image result for girl with hairy forearms

Image result for girl with hairy forearms

It’s like that. Just a soft floss. Not like man arms. I like that. Maybe because in the film, Slingblade, Billy Bob Thorton says, “Hairy arms…hairy pussy.”

I love the idea that my favorite teller at my credit union has a hairy pussy. What a revelation in this modern world. A girl that handles my money on a weekly basis has a nice full bush between her legs.

Hallelujah in this day and age of no woman having anything below their eyebrows because of pornography!

It’s a travesty!

They all shave their vulvas now because of pornography. Young guys thing pubic hair is gross and every girl in modern life now shaves her nether regions. It’s ridiculous. That’s supposed to be there! I hate that now looking like an adolescent has become the norm. Disgusting.

Grow it back ladies!

I love the idea of this pretty teller that takes care of my account having a robust bush of hair between her legs.

I go into the branch and for once it’s quiet. I don’t get Alicia as my teller. I get some friendly fat guy with glasses. No one is around so I decide to hatch a plan. It could mean nothing but you never know, and fortune favors the bold.

Words I live by.

I hand him my deposit. “Hey I worked in banking for 25 years and can you imagine if you wanted to ask one of the tellers out for coffee or lunch, you just couldn’t do it.”

He laughs.

“Because there’s always people around and there’s the pesky bulletproof glass that makes it even harder.”

“Yea… ha ha.”

Now I have the attention of hot Alicia.

“You can’t pass a note, because as we all know, that anybody that passes a note to a teller in a bank or credit union is usually trying to rob the place, so that’s out!”

They all laugh and we have an industry moment. They all dig that I know banking and we’re laughing.”

 

But I want to have coffee with hot, hairy Alicia. When I get something in my head that seems impossible, I almost HAVE to do it.

I leave, but I feel that I’m a little closer to my diabolical plan unfolding.

 

A few weeks pass and I go to the credit union again. I’m making my deposit but I don’t see baby.

Then I see her leaving the branch. Obviously going to lunch. It’ll take the teller several minutes to count the cash deposit I’ve stuffed in her window slot.

It’s killing me. If I had just been here a few minutes sooner, my deposit would be done and I would’ve asked hot Alicia to lunch and offered to pay for all of her great service. She couldn’t refuse. She knows I have good loot in my account.

I’ve only seen her from the waist up at her window and now I’m seeing her walking out of the branch. The legs are good, and she’s even hotter to me now.

Fuck! She’s gone and it takes forever for the teller to count through my money.

But then she comes back! She must have forgotten something! I have a chance!

Nope. Deposit is taking years and even though I’ve said hello to her, she is once again out the fucking door.

Goddamn it.

I’m going to make this happen.

I may pass the note. Maybe on the envelope I pass her loaded with cash next time I go in.

I hope I don’t get arrested.

Phicklephilly’s not going to write itself.

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Listen to Phicklephilly LIVE on Spotify!

Facebook: phicklephilly       Instagram: @phicklephilly       Twitter: @phicklephilly