I have one day to sort out this mess. A predicament that most men would leap at, but I’m scared. It’s wrong, right? Twenty-four-year-old, super hot, Persian girl wants me to pleasure her orally and I’m having second thoughts. Am I insane? I should have just thrown her onto the sink in the back of the salon and went to town.
But I’m a gentleman, and even though sex has always just come to me, I’ve always been cautious. Because when you love something so much, you need to be careful with it. I’ve always been who I am and apparently, sex hits my windshield like a stray deer. That’s been my life. Whether I had a guitar in my hands or a pen. I’m just that guy.
Unlike most men, I’ve never pursued sex. I love romance. Dinners. Holding hands and stolen kisses have always been my forte. I’m a great date. A shitty husband, but a great dad and a damn good date.
But beyond that, I want to be alone. I want to be amazing to you ladies on an occasional basis.
I have to figure out this crazy proposal and there is only one guy I can go to regarding this kind of madness.
Johnny R. He’s my beloved friend who is turning forty this year.
Johnny loves cigarettes, Budweiser, Adderal, cocaine, strippers, hookers, and gambling. So he’s the immoral friend I should call during this crisis.
“Dude. So I ate out Kita in the gym.”
“I’m so proud of you. That little slope owed you.”
“Yea, it was amazing. She’s adorbs.”
“I hate when you use abbreviations.”
“I know, but she is like… delish.”
“There you go again.”
“So I went down on Kita, and some chick from a store across the street saw me and now she’s pulling some extortion shit on me.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I went down on Kita in the gym and a chick from Guess across the street saw us and now she’s making trouble.”
“Oh fuck, dude. That’s bad. Are we talking exposure? Cops? The media?”
“Well, apparently. But not if I do what she wants.
Dude. This is horrible. What does she want?” Money?”
Umm. No. She wants me to eat her pussy like I did Kita.”
The phone fell silent.
“Hello?”
“Dude. Are you fucking insane? She’s a Persian girl with a freight car full of emotional and religious baggage. She can’t do anything and she wants you to swab out her box?
“Apparently.”
“Do it!”
“Really?”
“She’s saving her virginity for Raheem or whatever, but you have the opportunity to please her like no one ever has before! Remember the Indian chick I slammed in New York on the back of a dumpster who was a virgin before her wedding?”
“You make an important point there, Johnny.”
“She’s not blackmailing you. She’s seen an opportunity for sex and she wants it really bad.”
“Really? It all just seems weird to me. Because all of my stuff is always pretty normal now.”
“Just lean in and do what you’re great at. What’s the worst thing that could happen?”
“I get fired and she files a rape charge and I go to jail.”
“Do it!”
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Phicklephilly 
You gotta love Johnny! He’s the friend who will visit you in jail. I also loved the honesty in “A shitty husband, but a great dad and a damn good date.” Ha ha, I’m kind of the female version of that. Own what you’re good at. Can’t wait for the next chapter! And as an aside, you could teach a lot of young men about wooing over coercing.
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Oh wow! Thank you so much! I’m so happy and flattered that you get it. If you search the blog there are some interesting and funny Johnny R. stories! He’s quite the character. I appreciate you reading about my life.
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Honestly, I’ve been waiting for this post for way too long dude… I’ve actually been walking home from work worrying about you! 😂😂😂
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I love that! This odd turn of events came as a complete shock to me. I honestly don’t know how any of this will turn out with Jaz or Kita. If the blog suddenly ends you’ll know I got locked up! (Kidding!) I’m just trying to live my life and all of these crazy things keep happening. I guess if it’s going to happen it might as well be me. Thank you for thinking of me!
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I’ve had an odd relationship life myself, it’s so reassuring to read about someone else’s random life events in the field! I’m about to embark to a new life working in Kuwait, should prove interesting! People keep telling me to ‘behave myself’, so if I suddenly stop liking your blogs and occasionally commenting, you’ll know I’ve also been locked away! 😂 Thank you for sharing Phil! 🥰
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Thank you so much for your comment! Happy Holidays! I met a really hot girl in the salon from Kuwait. A sweet, brilliant girl from a wealthy family from there. She is going to college here to study finance. I always made a fuss over her and she would always give me a big hug when she came in. I loved joking around with her when she visited us. (Don’t worry. Nothing happened) There are some really nice people from where you’re going. I’m assuming they have to like Americans after we stepped in and helped many years ago during the first Gulf War. (By the way, my name is Charles!)
I feel like I have been a magnet for extraordinary events my entire life and hope you are the same. It’s okay. i think people sense certain something about us. Maybe it’s a trust or a safety we create around ourselves. I wish you well and feel free to comment anytime. I believe wordpress is okay to read over there so I hope you will continue to follow!
I’m actually surprised at the outpouring of support from my readers on these tricky situation stories that happen to me. I have to think I’m a pretty lucky guy who has lived an absolutely charmed life! ❤
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I’ve just realised I wrote out a huge answer, then failed to push send… damn it….
Freudian slip on the name.. of course I know you’re Charles! 😳
I’ve been fortunate to teach students from all over the world here in York, but our main bread and butter are from Arabic countries, so it’ll be a pleasure to experience there’s first hand and visit them!
I know what you mean when you say a magnet for extraordinary events… Most people are fascinated by how it’s all happened and in not as many years (but more than I care to admit! 😂)… I will continue to read your blog for sure, it makes my unusual situations seem more normal… 😉
I’ve just read the recent installment on Jazmin, on the edge of my seat…💜
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I love that! Thank you. I think Jaz is on the edge of her seat as well!
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Freudian slip! (Or had something to do with the amount of wine I’d had last night 😂) I do know your name is Charles… 🙄
Merry Christmas from the UK!!! I’m currently sitting in front of a roaring fire listening to Christmas music and chatting to my parents – happy times.
I’m fortunate that I’ve been teaching nationalities from the gulf for 13 years! (😲) So I know a lot of lovely people over there already, they are super sweet and the Arabic women are amazingly strong, intelligent and friendly. I’m really looking forward to experiencing their culture after having shared my own with them for so long! 🥰
I’m learning it’s okay, people have often made me feel like something was wrong with me for the magnet I am – now I can see how much of a positive part of me it is and how blessed I am!!
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