4 Reasons Why You’re Unsuccessful in Love

How many times have you been in a relationship you thought would last, only to be severely disappointed? It’s not easy to have found “The One” only to discover in the end that you’ve got the wrong person. Relationships can be very unpredictable, and somehow, you always find yourself getting the short end of the stick: but before you think that destiny is playing tricks with you, maybe you should first take a look at how you actually approach love.

Sure, there are times when things are beyond your control (such as when you’re fooled into getting entangled with a cheater) but sometimes the problems can also stem from how you handle things. According to a Psychology Today article by Marty Nemko Ph.D., it’s important to ask yourself if your actions are actually causing you to be “unlucky” in romance. Guided by his list of questions, here are several reasons why you may be having relationship issues:

You don’t listen to your intuition.

Sometimes, a person you like will display signs that he’s not the perfect fit for you. He may show a certain attitude you don’t like, or a habit that drives you insane; things that you often choose to ignore or forgive early on. But remember that small things can build up overtime—some can even be downright abusive—so save yourself the trouble of going through an emotional rollercoaster by reading the red flags and listening to your inner voice.

You believe you can fix a person.

If you think your love can change a person, then you’re in for a rude awakening. Getting together with someone with many issues just because you think that you can “fix” him isn’t likely to give you a happy ending. Relationships only become successful if two people work on it: if you’re the only one rowing the boat, then you won’t get anywhere. Remember that change is something that a person should decide by himself, and unless your beau realizes that he needs to fix his life, then no one-not even you-can make him do so.

You make it all about you.

Ask yourself, who adjusts more in the relationship, and who demands more adjustments from the other party? Do you unwittingly consider your needs to be more important than your partner’s? Relationships are about compromise, which can range from going Dutch during dates to taking your partner’s input in consideration when planning something life-changing. If you always put your needs before his, then it could be why things aren’t working out so well for you.

You expect a person to match the impossible ideal in your head.

We all have standards, but sometimes, you wrongly expect someone to be the person you imagine in your head so when he doesn’t meet your expectations, you become frustrated. If this is the case, then you’re not dating a real person, but a vague collage of someone you deem to be ideal. Learn to plant your feet on the ground and realize that love means accepting the entirety of a person, imperfections and all.

 

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Sun Stories: Jazmin – Guess Girl – Chapter 3

“This all sounds like entrapment and blackmail to me.”

“I’m a virgin.”

“I want you to please me like you pleased your little girlfriend Kita. I saw her face.  I just want to feel what she felt without the sex.”

“Wait… What? Let me get this straight. You want me to give you oral?”

“I’m saving myself for marriage. But when I saw the joy you brought this girl it gave me feelings inside. If you try to penetrate me it will be against my will. I will call 911 and tell the police you raped me. Because you would have committed rape. I don’t want to be penetrated in my vagina. But I saw the joy on the face of Kita and I want to feel that too. You can say no and pray that I don’t write that Yelp review.

“This all sounds like entrapment and blackmail to me.”

“I assure you Charles, it is not. I saw you with that girl and it aroused something in me. I have never seen anything like that before. Not even in a movie. I’m not ready to be with a man sexually because of my culture, virtue and religion. But now I have been put in this fortunate position of power. I can have what I want without the burden of a relationship.”

This chick is obviously brilliant or crazy. But I think I need time to think this through. Technically she’s blackmailing me for oral sex. She could have just come in here and just told me she wanted that. I would have done it in a heartbeat. She’s gorgeous. But that could have led to something else she doesn’t want to happen. Not knowing I’m the gentleman I am she couldn’t take that risk with a stranger. This seems weird. But as fearful as I am, I’m really turned by the weird vice of this moment.

“Can you at least give me a day to think about it?”

Jazmin just looks at me. “Are you married?”

“No. Divorced in 2001.”

“Do you have family?”

“My parents have passed away. I have three sisters. One older, two younger.”

“Children?”

“One daughter. She’s 23, and lives with me.”

“A gentleman who grew up with women and whose grown daughter lives with him. Impressive. You must have great integrity and fairness if your daughter has chosen to live with you.”

“I don’t know how much integrity I have but I don’t feel that I should be blackmailed into giving you pleasure.”

“You have twenty four hours. I’ll be back here tomorrow at the same time. Fair enough?”

“Yes.”

 

What the fuck?

God Damn it. Here we go again…