7 Habits That Guarantee a Happy Relationship

Looking for love? Or simply aiming to be happy with the partner you already have? While the media is awash with information on finding true love, once you’ve met your match you’re expected to simply live happily ever after.

But according to the Office for National Statistics (ONS), 42 per cent of marriages in England and Wales end in divorce and many of us could do with some guidance in the relationship department.

The secret to lasting love

To avoid being one of these disconcerting statistics, help is at hand. If you want to be part of a happy couple, Dr Robert Epstein is your guy. The renowned American psychologist, along with colleagues Regina Warfel and James Johnson, conducted in-depth relationship research at the University of California San Diego and found strong relationships boil down to seven key skills.

‘No matter what your personality, or the state of your relationship, improving these skills will help your relationship work better,’ he says.

According to Dr Robert Epstein, the seven key relationship skills you need to follow are as follows:

1. Communication

This means knowing how to listen, sharing your thoughts and feelings honestly, refraining from criticising and encouraging your partner to share his or her feelings.

It’s all about opening up, and letting your other half open up too, in a judgement-free space. Sounds simple enough!

2. Knowledge of your partner

What’s his shirt size? What’s her favorite food? After communication, simply knowing a lot about your partner is a powerful way to show them you care, and makes you better equipped to tend to each other’s ongoing needs.

When she gets home from a stressful day and you’ve run a bath with her favorite lavender oil and poured a cup of Pinot Grigio, she’ll know how much you really do care (and listen).

3. Being mature about conflict resolution

Conflict-resolution skills include techniques like staying focused on the topic, staying in the present, being ready to forgive or apologize, and knowing when to take a break. You’re going to disagree, so make sure you do it in the best way possible.

4. Brushing up your life skills

Do you plan for emergencies? Do you exercise and stay fit? Studies show people want their partners to take good care of themselves and also want them to contribute a degree of security to a long-term relationship.

We’re not saying you need the survival skills of Bear Grylls, but being calm in a crisis and having a plan B when things don’t work out makes you a far more appealing mate.

5. Being able to self-manage

This is not the same as life skills, Epstein insists. People who are skilled at self-management take inventories of their strengths and weaknesses and always strive for improvement. They know how to interpret disturbing events in positive ways and they work hard to reach their goals.

This skill is also great for life in general, and it can help boost everything from professional success to your relationships with your children.

6. Being romantic and intimate

What does having strong skills in sex and romance look like? Enquiring and caring about how to please your partner sexually, setting aside time for intimacy, refraining from blaming each other when sex doesn’t go smoothly, and trying to stay physically attractive for your partner. So lay off the donuts and make time for romance!

7. Stress management

Do you know how to use breathing, meditation, or imagery techniques to help you fight stress? If you know how to avoid or fight stress, you’ll be better able to love and support your partner.

 

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Tales of Rock – Ian “Lemmy” Kilmister Consumed Jack and Meat

Lemmy Kilmister was the frontman of Motorhead, an all around hard rock legend and a lifelong poster boy for friendly mutton chops. He was one of the very few true rock ‘n’ roll icons of the olden times who not only graced the land of the living for far longer than anyone expected, but did it actively doing his thing.

He was also, with the possible exception of Keith Richards, by far the most unlikely person to actually do so.

The Diet:

Jack Daniels, meat, cheese, drugs.

Lemmy drank at least one bottle of whiskey a day, and did it for over 35 years. The food he consumed was equally unhealthy: He loathed vegetables and ate mainly meats and cheese, with the occasional cake or biscuit thrown in, administered on a “however much he likes, whenever he likes it” basis. He’d been smoking since he was 11. He did copious amounts of drugs daily, and did so for decades.

If that sounds like the lifestyle of every rock star on earth, you’re partially right. But what set Lemmy apart was his apparent good health. His liver was completely fine. As were his kidneys. And lungs. In fact, the man was pretty much as healthy as he’d ever been — the few times he’d actually been ill were everyday performer stuff such as a lung infection and stage dehydration. Even then, he maintained a schedule that would have exhausted a person half his age.

There was evidence that he was only human, though: Sometimes, when the concert conditions got unbearably sweaty, he was known to hydrate by adding a couple of extra ice cubes to his onstage Jack and Coke.

I love you Lemmy! Rest in Peace!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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