7 Ways You Ruin Your Relationship

1. Take no responsibility for your own feelings.

Make sure that you do not take responsibility for your own feelings and your own sense of safety and security.

Make sure that you ignore your feelings enough so that you create an empty black hole inside that needs to be filled up by physical intimacy, things, or by someone else’s love or attention.

 

2. Find someone to do it for you.

Look for someone to fill your emptiness, someone to make you feel loved, happy, safe and secure.

A good way to determine if this is the right person is if he or she comes on REALLY strong, promising you the world, or at least great copulation.

 

3. Once you find the right person, be sure to behave in one of the two following ways.

a. Completely give yourself up

Completely put yourself aside, focusing all your attention on the other person’s feelings and needs.

Your hope is that if you are wonderful enough and sacrifice yourself enough, the other person will give you the love you are seeking.

Be sure to completely ignore your own feelings and needs, no matter what the other person does. Be the best caretaker you can be to try to have control over getting the other person’s love and approval.

b. Demand the other person live up to your expectations

Start slow, gradually building to becoming more and more demanding of the other person.

If he or she doesn’t meet your expectations, be sure to criticize, blame, chastise, berate, threaten, ignore, yell at, belittle, lecture, debate, and argue with your partner.

Your job is to gain control over getting the other person to completely give him or herself up and focus only on filling your emptiness and needs with their love, approval, attention, physical needs, devotion, time, and adoration.

Be the best taker you can be, making sure to keep your partner feeling guilty and responsible for your feelings of security and self-esteem.

 

4. Be the victim

As your relationship starts to decline, move more and more into thinking and behaving as a victim of the other person’s choices. This will lead to more fights or to distance, lack of passion, lack of fun, and a complete inability to communicate about anything, even minor situations.

In any discussions, be sure to seek to be right, win your point and make your partner wrong.

After all, this is a competition for who is the good one and the right one. Or, just collapse and give in, a great way to be a victim.

 

5. Withdraw

Start to spend less and less time with your partner, spending it alone or with other people, or in front of the TV. Convince yourself that your misery is completely your partner’s fault, and that you picked the wrong person, again.

NEVER EVER take any responsibility for your own feelings, needs, behavior and choices.

Never forget that you are the victim.

 

6. Get your partner into counseling

Seek counseling to get your partner to change. Do NOT enter counseling to deal with your own controlling behavior of being a taker or caretaker.

Rather, be sure to tell the therapist everything your partner does wrong, using the therapist’s office as just another arena to prove that you are right and your partner is wrong, or you are the good one and your partner is the bad one.

Above all, do NOT look within at yourself. After all, it is your partner who needs to do this, not you!

 

7. You did it!

Congratulations! You have succeeded in creating a terrible relationship!

Now you can miserably and righteously leave your partner and do the whole thing again! You get to complain to all your friends about what a terrible person your ex-partner is and get sympathy for all you’ve been though.

What a reward for all your hard work!

 

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Author: phicklephilly

Copyright © 2016 by Phicklephilly All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. All stories and characters are based on real people and events. The names and images have been changed to protect their privacy. Comment Rules: Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That’s how we’re gonna be — cool. Critical is fine, but if you’re rude, we’ll delete your stuff. Please do not put your URL in the comment text and please use your PERSONAL name or initials and not your business name, as the latter comes off like spam. Have fun and thanks for adding to the conversation!”

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