Murder Mystery Weekend – Chapter 38

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Are We Just Friends or Is He Interested? 16 Signs to Read His Mind

If you *and everyone else* are asking: are we just friends or is he interested? You need to know, and I am here to help you know the difference.

Are we just friends or is he interested, is probably one of the most popular questions I am asked. Most women are trying to figure out whether or not a guy is interested or just a friend.

What can I tell you? Sometimes, it’s easy to spot the signs. Other guys are tricky and like figuring out a Rubik’s cube. Who has the time for that?

Sure, you have amazing chemistry, and the conversation blows your mind. But you don’t really know what’s going on between you.

How to answer the conundrum: Are we just friends or is he interested?

The best way to figure it out? Ask him. I know it’s not the easiest thing to do, but you’ll have your answer. Maybe not the one you were looking for, but at least it’s an answer.

On the other hand, I know you may not be ready to make that move, and I get it. So, look at the signs instead. It takes longer, but you’ll figure out what’s going on.

It’s time to finally answer the question – are we just friends or is he interested? That way, you’ll know what to do. Let’s quit the game playing and find out the truth.

#1 Just a friend: He’s never jealous. I know I’ve said jealousy is an ugly trait and when it becomes extreme, it is. However, it’s always a way to see whether or not someone is attracted to you. If this guy doesn’t even bat an eye when you’re talking about other guys or when you go on a date, it’s clear he only sees you as a friend.

#2 He’s interested: he asks you out on a date. If he’s interested in you, his main goal is to take the friendship to the next level. He doesn’t want to be your friend, he wants more. So, he’ll ask you out on a date and see your response.

It’s a bold move, but he’s tired of waiting on the sideline. If he asks you out, he’s not looking for friendship.

#3 Just a friend: You’re like his sister. If he’s openly and publicly told people you’re like his sister, well, then it’s safe to say you are just friends.

No guy would say that publicly if they were truly interested in someone. That would let everyone else know they could make a move on you. Think of it like this, it’s the same as calling him your brother.

#4 Just a friend: He tries to hook you up with his friends. If he was interested in you, he would never try to set you up with his friends. It just doesn’t make sense. If he’s into you, he’ll do whatever it takes to avoid you and his friends from hooking up. But if he’s happy and willing to set you up with his friends, then it looks like that’s what you are, a friend.

#5 He’s interested: He’s touchy. Naturally, every guy is different, but usually, when a guy is interested in someone, they become more touchy. He may touch your shoulder or your lower back when you’re walking through a doorway. These are small and subtle moves, yet, they’re clues into how he feels about you.

#6 He’s interested: He’s always around. When we like someone, we want to spend as much time with them as possible. With him, it seems as if he’s always around. Whether a weekday or weekend, he pops by your place to hang out before work or meet up with you when you’re shopping at the mall. His main goal is to spend as much time with you as possible. 

#7 Just a friend: There’s no flirting. And no, you sneezing and him getting you a tissue isn’t flirting. If you feel more like brother and sister than anything else, it’s safe to say there’s not much going on in the romance department. If you’ve flirted with him and he’s clearly uncomfortable, he’s not into you.

#8 Just a friend: He’s awkward when people think you’re a couple. The minute someone asks you if you are a couple, you can feel him getting weird. He’ll step away from you and make this face. I know, really mature. If he did like you, he would make some joke and seem really happy as he weighs your reaction.

#9 He’s interested: He texts you a lot. He doesn’t text you once in a while, he texts you all the time. Whether it’s a meme or YouTube clip, he’s always texting you, making sure you stay connected. You may notice he uses winky and kissy emojis as well. Guys don’t really use emojis, so it’s a pretty good sign he likes you. 

#10  He’s interested: He wants to hang out one-on-one. Maybe he doesn’t like to hang out in large groups, but let’s get real. If he’s pushing to hang out one-on-one, it’s probably because he wants to spend alone time with you. If you’re into him, then keep these hangouts going, eventually, they’ll progress into more.

#11 Just a friend: He mentions people he’s into. Yeah, this isn’t a great sign. Usually, if a guy is into you, they never bring up other people. But if he’s just a friend, he’ll bring up other people he’s interested in without hesitation. Why would he hide it from you? It’s not like he’s interested in you. I know, it stings, but it’s the truth.

#12 He’s interested: He’s all over your social media. Every post, photo or video, you put on Instagram or Facebook, he likes or comments on it. He’s literally the most active person on your social media. Now, why would that be? Oh! I know this one! It’s probably because he’s into you. If not, he wouldn’t make the effort to comment or even like your posts. 

#13 He’s interested: He values your opinion. Whether it’s buying a jacket or discussing a job interview, he always asks for your opinion. If he wants your opinion, it’s because he wants you to be included in making decisions. He trusts you and holds your opinion highly. Now, that only happens when a guy likes someone.

#14 Just a friend: He never made a move. He’s known you for years, literally years, and he’s never made a move on you. And you have been in situations where things could have gone further, but nothing happened. If a guy has an opportunity to make a move, he’ll make it. He won’t let it slip away.

#15 He’s interested: It’s all about eye contact. When he’s around you, his eyes are locked on you. Eye contact is an amazing way to figure out whether or not he’s into you. If a guy is just a friend, he won’t be making too much eye contact with you. However, if he’s interested, his eyes will be all over you.

#16 Just a friend: He’s not that into your life. Sure, he asks how you are and what you’re doing, but he’s not that into what’s going on in your life. He forgets the details, he doesn’t really ask many questions – these aren’t signs of interest. If he was interested in you, he would try to know everything about you.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Kita – Chapter 37 – Second Date – Xmas – Part 1

“Is there a time between now and when you leave for Florida that I can see you outside of this salon for lunch or dinner?”

“Open your calendar.”

“Is there a time between now and when you leave for Florida that I can see you outside of this salon for lunch or dinner?”

“Open your calendar.”

So it was on for my 2nd date with Kita. I set it up at one of my go to lunch spots and headed over there.

Misconduct is a nautical themed sports bar. I arrived a half an hour early so I could chat with my friend Mary the hostess. (See: Mary – Unexpected Table for Two) Unfortunately because business was slow they cut her early. The place was dead which I like but of course some idiot was responsible for playing the music too loud in the restaurant. That happens more than less and Mary and I both hate it. Why would you crank the music up during lunch when there are business people there and then be stupid enough to leave it at that level when the place is nearly empty?

I mentioned it to my server and she didn’t seem thrilled about asking whoever controls the volume to turn that shit down. If it weren’t for Mary and the great food there I’d boycott that place. She either didn’t make the request or the person ignored it because the music stayed at the same level the entire time I was there. But… I’ll let that go and we’ll go forward.

At least I’m at my favorite table, #12. It’s a high top by the front windows and close to the hostess and service area. It’s also the quietest spot in the restaurant.

I get a text from Kita.

“On my way!”

“You’re the best.”

“I’m in an Uber pool so I’ll be there soon.”

Uber Pool takes a little longer because they usually have a couple of people in the car and the driver has to drop them all off at their destinations.

I see her come in the door and I walk from the table to greet her. She looks so cute in her puffy winter coat. She gives me a big hug, her hair smells delicious.

We sit and the server brings her a water. I already know what I want. I get the same thing every time I go there. Chicken tenders with dipping sauce, and a small bowl of mac and cheese with a side of sriracha to share.

I notice that it seems to take little Kita an exorbitant amount of time to decide what she wants to eat. It’s cute now to watch her struggle with all the choices on the menu. But I’m sure that shit would get super annoying if I were in a relationship with her. You know, you get to the restaurant, you’re hungry, she’s running late. You already know what you want and she’s taking forever to decide between a salad or a sandwich.

I’m just saying… I’ve been at this awhile.

So Kita can’t make up her mind and actually sends the server away twice. The music volume hasn’t been lowered, and now I see our waitress sitting across the room at one of the tables against the wall and is eating.

This server sucks, but I get it. We’re her only customer, she probably put her food order in because it’s dead now and she can actually finally get something to eat before happy hour when the place is cranking in here. But because Kita can’t make up her mind, she probably is like, “fuck her I’m going to eat.”

So when Kita finally knows what she wants the server lets us rot for awhile. I really wanted to thrash her in a bad Yelp review, but this is my last little Christmas lunch date for awhile with this cute baby. So I can’t really get upset because I’m just stupid happy to look across the table and see who came all the way down here into the city to have lunch with ME!

Kita is young, fit and beautiful. She can have lunch with any guy she wants. But I asked and she’s sitting here with me and I adore her.

The server finally drags herself back to our table and thankfully, Kita is ready. We order and then settle back into warm conversation. We talk about the holidays, our families. She tells me her Dad is such a high ranking official in the military she’s doesn’t really know what he does. But she shows me some pics on her phone of her dad and mom flying in what appears to be a small jet. They’re sitting what almost appear to be big plush chairs you’d have in your living room.

“Is that a Gulf Stream?”

“Yea. That’s how my dad gets around. in a Lear Jet.”

“Holy crap! I can’t top that with anything. That’s so cool. Did you or your sister every get to fly on it?”

“No. But if my dad was in Philly and was headed back to Florida, I would most definitely fly on it with him. But I can’t fly on it by myself because that would be a waste of the taxpayers dollars.”

“Speaking of that, what do you think of our current administration?”

“I can’t speak on that because my father has to embrace the President because of his high ranking position in the military. That’s all of his buddies in there. He hangs out with a lot of those guys in Washington.”

“Wow. That’s interesting.” I decide to veer away from that subject.

We’re talking about tanning and the salon, and I don’t know how but we chat about some of the interesting characters that come through on a daily basis. She spends so much time there with me she’s even met a few of them. She has a good memory, is organized, and very bright. She just lacks experience.

That will come, and I can help.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish everyday.

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