Matched with a moderately attractive girl. We talked for a few days before deciding to get dinner and a movie.
I picked her up and we headed to the sushi restaurant we had decided on earlier. She’s dead silent the whole ride, only breaking it to whisper one word responses to my small talk. This should be a red flag but I just chalked it up to nerves.
At dinner, she immediately orders a glass of wine. By immediately, I mean we hadn’t even sat down yet. This would normally not be a problem at all but we had just talked about how neither of us really drink much. But, again I chalk it up to her nerves.
After her 3rd glass of wine in 20 minutes I start to get pretty nervous. She doesn’t seem to be affected by the wine yet though. This is where I wanted to end the date, but being a silly optimist, I had already bought the movie tickets online.
She seems way less nervous now, she’s actually talking and we had decent conversation on the way to the theater. I begin to think maybe this date will turn around.
But as soon as we get in the theater she heads straight for the bar and orders a full Solo cup sized glass of wine. I mentally check out at this point.
During the movie, it becomes apparent that she is absolutely shit faced. About 20 minutes in, she gets up to go to the bathroom and comes back with another full solo cup of wine. She starts sloppily trying to make out with the side of my face despite me pushing her away. The theater is completely packed, by the way. This goes back and forth for a few minutes until I put on my most serious face and gave her a stern NO.
Her reaction? She starts hysterically crying, asking why I don’t want her, just making a big scene that culminates with her saying she loves me. I looked her dead in the eye and said, “You don’t even know me.” After what seemed like ten minutes of crying, I finally get her to calm down and she almost immediately passes out. I was ecstatic when I realized she was asleep. My nightmare is almost over.
Then I begin to hear what can only be described as a rusty lawn mower with sleep apnea. She’s snoring. And it’s LOUD. I could feel my seat vibrate each time she exhaled. Flicking her ear every few minutes was enough to keep her snoring at bay.
On the ride back to drop her off, she changed my radio presets, sung (terribly) to every song, and fell asleep. It was a 10 minute drive.
I finally got to her house and dropped her off.
Tinder is great though, I met my current girlfriend, Cherie on it and our first date is one of my favorite memories ever.
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