Are you wondering how to break up with someone you’ve been with for a while now? Do you want to end your relationship without any regret or heartbreak?
Are you mostly sure that the person you are with is not the person for you? Are you desperately trying to figure out whether you are doing the right thing?
Breaking up with someone you love (but may no longer be in love with) is difficult for everyone involved. You need to be fully aware that if you don’t do this right, you could leave the other person devastated and heartbroken.
Ending a relationship without regret is fully possible. In an ideal world, every relationship would end without regrets and with your head held high.
Here are 5 things to remember when you want to break up with someone and end your relationship with no regret.
1. Make sure that you give it your best shot
When you want to end a relationship without regret, it’s very important to make sure that you do everything in your power to make it work.
Many people walk away from relationships without really doing honest work. They leave because their guy doesn’t understand their feelings or their girl won’t let them go out with the guys on the weekends.
In the words of Arianna Grande, “Thank you, next.”
But, what if there is a hidden gem under that surface issue that you don’t see because you just up and walk away from a relationship? What if your guy doesn’t understand your feelings but he loves you madly and would love to figure out how to do it but he needs you to show him?
My boyfriend once said to me, in the face of my sadness, “I don’t know what to do!!!” And he didn’t. He had a better idea once I showed him.
So, make sure you aren’t breaking up with someone because of some surface sentiment. Do the work, dig deep, talk to your person about the things that are frustrating you and see if you can fix them so you can continue moving forward together.
Wouldn’t you hate to see your person with someone else, being the person that you wanted them to be but never asked?
2. Do it for the right reasons
Make sure, when you are thinking about how to end a relationship without regret, that you are doing it for the right reasons. If you are ending your relationship because there is someone else, don’t. The grass isn’t always greener, no matter how amazing it looks right now.
If you are ending your relationship because your friends or family tell you that you should, don’t. This is your relationship and you need to figure out if this is the person for you.
If you are ending your relationship because your person doesn’t make enough money or isn’t hot enough or listens to weird music, don’t. Just because someone doesn’t fit society’s ideal of the perfect person, that doesn’t mean they might not be the perfect person for you.
Make sure that you are ending your relationship for the right reasons, that you have given it thought and know that this person is not the right person for you. If you don’t, you might always regret it!
3. Don’t be a ghost
If you want to end a relationship and feel good about it, don’t disappear.
Ghosting seems to be the thing these days — men and women disappearing without a word to their partner. Whether it be because they are scared to face someone or they are too lazy to deal or they are just too busy, people just vanish, never to be heard from again.
And, while this might feel good at the moment, I can promise you that someday, you will regret it.
You will regret treating someone with so little respect, knowing that you have hurt them deeply and that you could have done things differently.
Once you ghost someone, you can’t take it back. You will always be the person who did that.
So, if you are considering ghosting your person, don’t. I can promise you that you will regret it — big time — someday.
4. Allow them to speak their piece
When you are breaking up with someone it is important for them to be able to have a conversation with you about your decision to end the relationship.
People like to process breakups and whether the relationship ending abruptly or died a slow death, it is important that each of you get the opportunity to talk about it with the other.
I am not saying that it needs to be hashed out over and over and over but giving each other the chance to say what needs to be said is a very important piece of ending a relationship without regret.
5. Do unto others
If you are still wondering how to end a relationship without regret, here is the gold standard for doing so.
The very best way to end a relationship without regret is by treating your person the way you would want to be treated.
That is not to say that if you aren’t the kind of person who doesn’t want to process a breakup verbally, you don’t let your partner do that. I am sure that, if the shoe was on the other foot, you would want to be treated with kindness and respect. You wouldn’t want your person to disappear or talk about you behind your back. You would like to speak your piece and move on.
So, think carefully about how you would feel if someone was breaking up with you and how you would want to be treated in the process.
Thinking about how to end a relationship without regret ahead of time is an excellent way to ensure that your relationship ends well.
Having regret about the end of a relationship is something that you will have to live with forever. And I can promise you, from first-hand experience, you don’t want that and the broken heart that comes with it.
So, make sure that you don’t give up too quickly, that you don’t disappear, that you are doing it for the right reasons and that you allow them to say what they need to say.
If you do these things, you will be able to move forward with a clear conscience and find the love of your life.
Good luck! You can do it!
Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. She works with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.
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