Husband discovers wife’s multiple affairs after 10 years of marriage

“My self-worth and self-confidence bottomed out. I was a total wreck.”

Here are a few tips to make things smoother when navigating the world of co-parenting.

In 10 years of their marriage, Seth and his wife never lied to each other…about anything.

There were no little white lies about pretending to his birthday present every year or remembering to put the kids’ soccer uniforms in the dryer.

Instead, the couple built their marriage on a solid foundation of trust and honesty.

The moment Seth found it that had all been a lie, was utterly soul-crushing.

For years, the mother of his four children had been carrying out multiple affairs,

“She shared much more than her body … she shared her heart,” he first wrote on Love What Matters. “That’s what hurts the most about affairs.

“More than the breaking of trust, the physical act of breaking the covenant, the stolen money, it was the casualness in which she gave away that emotional bond we had.”

Source: Seth MegowSeth and his wife, who had been married for 10 years, have four beautiful kids together. Source: Seth Megow

“Neither of us had ever dealt with this”

At first, when his wife started going out late, Seth simply brushed it off.

She was busy working while raising their four kids, he remembered reassuring himself.

Anyone would need to cool off after dealing with all that stress.

“It was almost impossible to have an easy sit-down conversation about it,” he said.

“She was in avoidance mode, and I was in detective mode.

“This caused more tension since neither of us had ever dealt with this before.

“She wasn’t used to not being open, and I wasn’t used to having to pry for information about her life.”

Source: Seth MegowSeth desperately didn’t want to believe his wife had been unfaithful. Source: Seth Megow

“A tug of war between my head and my heart”

Then she stopped coming home at night, claiming she was staying out late with friends.

She also started covering her tracks, locking her phone and using cash to pay for everything – so Seth couldn’t check her bank statements.

“It’s easy to say looking back that I should have just let her go then,” Seth said.

“My brain was telling me: ‘Look at the facts. She hides her phone at night, pays for everything in cash, and spends the night out multiple times a week’.

“On the other hand, my heart was telling me: ‘She would never cheat. We are beyond close and each other’s true best friend. I’m sure this is just a big misunderstanding’.

“It was all a giant tug of war between my head and my heart. A back and forth between the facts and the feelings.”

Source: Seth MegowSeth, pictured here with one of his daughters, discovered the affairs on Facebook. Source: Seth Megow

“I was a total wreck”

But eventually, Seth’s head won the battle– after his wife accidentally left her Facebook open one night.

He painfully read countless messages that proved his wife had been having multiple affairs.

There were endless one night stands and also a serious long-term boyfriend.

“So now both my head and my heart knew the truth,” Seth said.

“I felt so betrayed and crushed.

“We had spent years pouring love, life, encouragement, and hope into each other.

“If my closest friend in the world didn’t see the value in me, why would anyone?

“My self-worth and self-confidence bottomed out. I was a total wreck.”

Source: Seth MegowSeth became a single dad to their four young kids. Source: Seth Megow

It just wasn’t working

Even after all that, Seth still found it hard to leave.

He desperately prayed for divine intervention to bring his wife back as she begged for a divorce.

But eventually, it became obvious that it just wasn’t working.

“So we got divorced. I got the kids. She got every other weekend with them and her freedom,” Seth said.

“Now to be fair, she had been an amazing mother for a long time.

“We discussed that hopefully one day in the future, once she found healing, she would feel more comfortable with a greater role in their lives.”

Source: Seth MegowAfter the divorce, Seth focused on being the best dad possible for his kids. Source: Seth Megow

“I just kept on taking one day at a time”

So Seth became a single dad to four young kids while also dealing with the emotional fall-out from the destruction of his marriage.

It’s now been four years since they signed the divorce papers, Seth is still in the process of rebuilding his life.

“Of course, I wasn’t a perfect husband. I wasn’t a perfect dad, friend, son, or employee either,” he said.

“However, I tried and continue to try. I just kept on taking one day at a time.

“Some days were tougher than others, but the important thing was to not give up living.

“I learned that through heartbreak and hardships we receive this amazing gift of compassion if we choose to embrace it.”

For more of Seth’s story check out his blog, “Who Put My iPad in the Dishwasher?

If you or someone you know is battling addiction, help is available. Call the Family Drug Helplineon 1300 368 186, DrugInfo on 1300 858 584 or Youth Substance Abuse Service on 1800 014 446. For a complete list of services by state click hereIf you believe you are in immediate danger, please contact police on 000.

 

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Author: phicklephilly

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