Husband discovers wife’s multiple affairs after 10 years of marriage

“My self-worth and self-confidence bottomed out. I was a total wreck.”

Here are a few tips to make things smoother when navigating the world of co-parenting.

In 10 years of their marriage, Seth and his wife never lied to each other…about anything.

There were no little white lies about pretending to his birthday present every year or remembering to put the kids’ soccer uniforms in the dryer.

Instead, the couple built their marriage on a solid foundation of trust and honesty.

The moment Seth found it that had all been a lie, was utterly soul-crushing.

For years, the mother of his four children had been carrying out multiple affairs,

“She shared much more than her body … she shared her heart,” he first wrote on Love What Matters. “That’s what hurts the most about affairs.

“More than the breaking of trust, the physical act of breaking the covenant, the stolen money, it was the casualness in which she gave away that emotional bond we had.”

Source: Seth MegowSeth and his wife, who had been married for 10 years, have four beautiful kids together. Source: Seth Megow

“Neither of us had ever dealt with this”

At first, when his wife started going out late, Seth simply brushed it off.

She was busy working while raising their four kids, he remembered reassuring himself.

Anyone would need to cool off after dealing with all that stress.

“It was almost impossible to have an easy sit-down conversation about it,” he said.

“She was in avoidance mode, and I was in detective mode.

“This caused more tension since neither of us had ever dealt with this before.

“She wasn’t used to not being open, and I wasn’t used to having to pry for information about her life.”

Source: Seth MegowSeth desperately didn’t want to believe his wife had been unfaithful. Source: Seth Megow

“A tug of war between my head and my heart”

Then she stopped coming home at night, claiming she was staying out late with friends.

She also started covering her tracks, locking her phone and using cash to pay for everything – so Seth couldn’t check her bank statements.

“It’s easy to say looking back that I should have just let her go then,” Seth said.

“My brain was telling me: ‘Look at the facts. She hides her phone at night, pays for everything in cash, and spends the night out multiple times a week’.

“On the other hand, my heart was telling me: ‘She would never cheat. We are beyond close and each other’s true best friend. I’m sure this is just a big misunderstanding’.

“It was all a giant tug of war between my head and my heart. A back and forth between the facts and the feelings.”

Source: Seth MegowSeth, pictured here with one of his daughters, discovered the affairs on Facebook. Source: Seth Megow

“I was a total wreck”

But eventually, Seth’s head won the battle– after his wife accidentally left her Facebook open one night.

He painfully read countless messages that proved his wife had been having multiple affairs.

There were endless one night stands and also a serious long-term boyfriend.

“So now both my head and my heart knew the truth,” Seth said.

“I felt so betrayed and crushed.

“We had spent years pouring love, life, encouragement, and hope into each other.

“If my closest friend in the world didn’t see the value in me, why would anyone?

“My self-worth and self-confidence bottomed out. I was a total wreck.”

Source: Seth MegowSeth became a single dad to their four young kids. Source: Seth Megow

It just wasn’t working

Even after all that, Seth still found it hard to leave.

He desperately prayed for divine intervention to bring his wife back as she begged for a divorce.

But eventually, it became obvious that it just wasn’t working.

“So we got divorced. I got the kids. She got every other weekend with them and her freedom,” Seth said.

“Now to be fair, she had been an amazing mother for a long time.

“We discussed that hopefully one day in the future, once she found healing, she would feel more comfortable with a greater role in their lives.”

Source: Seth MegowAfter the divorce, Seth focused on being the best dad possible for his kids. Source: Seth Megow

“I just kept on taking one day at a time”

So Seth became a single dad to four young kids while also dealing with the emotional fall-out from the destruction of his marriage.

It’s now been four years since they signed the divorce papers, Seth is still in the process of rebuilding his life.

“Of course, I wasn’t a perfect husband. I wasn’t a perfect dad, friend, son, or employee either,” he said.

“However, I tried and continue to try. I just kept on taking one day at a time.

“Some days were tougher than others, but the important thing was to not give up living.

“I learned that through heartbreak and hardships we receive this amazing gift of compassion if we choose to embrace it.”

For more of Seth’s story check out his blog, “Who Put My iPad in the Dishwasher?

If you or someone you know is battling addiction, help is available. Call the Family Drug Helplineon 1300 368 186, DrugInfo on 1300 858 584 or Youth Substance Abuse Service on 1800 014 446. For a complete list of services by state click hereIf you believe you are in immediate danger, please contact police on 000.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Patrizia – The Tipping Point

“After crying and demanding I hold her, she strips naked and tries to rape me.”

A few years ago I was on a rebound and I found a girl who liked me.

Patrizia.

We had been dating for almost three months. She was hot, but she had issues. Four times she had blacked out while drinking and become a total bitch. She was also on antidepressants which she was bad at taking, she wasn’t super affectionate when sober, and she was too reliant on her parents. Oh, and she may have occasionally puked up her dinner.

This is the story of her 5th blackout. I had already told her if it happened again, we were done, but this one took the cake. It was restaurant week so we went to dinner at a nice Asian restaurant. It was normal for me to spend way too much money on Patrizia, but that was another issue. We have a decent dinner and a few drinks. We decide to meet my friends at a bar that’s close. Her friend has a birthday party the next afternoon at a bar where there is a drinking contest, so we decide to take the night easy.

At the bar where my friends are there’s a special on a 10% beer. The first thing Patrizia does is order one. I remind her that we have a long day tomorrow and that it’s strong. Fifteen minutes later she orders another. At this point I’m 25% breaking up with her.

She’s clearly getting drunk. My friends mention the bar where they are spending the night and she already wants to go. So much for an easy night. Another beer for her. I’m getting perturbed, and after telling her to slow down, I go outside to cool off. It’s about 20 degrees. My friends can tell I’m getting angry.

Patrizia orders another beer. She’s wasted. My friends decide to help me out and decide they are going to the other bar and we should head home. She demands going with them, she stands up, and falls down. I help her with her coat as they leave.

While waiting for a cab outside I tell her that if we don’t go home, we’re done.  She says she doesn’t care.

We get in our cab. I tell the driver her address. She screams that she wants to go to the bar and the driver listens to her. At this point I am at 55% breaking up with her.

When we arrive at the bar she stumbles across the street. I motion to the bouncers to not let her in. She also almost falls down while walking. For the first fifteen minutes I try with the bouncers to tell her to go home. Eventually I just go to the smoking area and talk to random people. I try to call her brother to get him to talk sense into her but he doesn’t answer.

Now 45 minutes into this and still outside and after multiple attempts by her to run past the bouncers they literally pick her up and throw her in a cab. I get in, and tell him her address. Now you may ask why I’ve not left yet. Well, if she got in somehow, it was my friends issue to deal with her and I didn’t want that to happen. Also I was worried for her safety. At this point I am 80% breaking up with her.

About a mile and a half down the road she starts screaming that she wants to go back to the bar. I try to calm her down but the driver won’t deal with it, and we get kicked out. She proceeds to walk in the freezing weather the mile and a half back to the bar. She almost gets hit by a few cars along the way.

When we get to the bar the bouncers are pissed. I ask if they’re calling the cops, to which they shake their heads yes. I ask for 5 minutes and call her mother at 1am. Her mother answers and I explain, she was not shocked which was odd, then her mother talks to her and she listens. We get in a taxi and head to her place. I am 90% breaking up with her.

On the taxi ride back she gets pissed I called her mother. At this point its worth mentioning I was in a brace due to surgery on my arm. She leans over and starts punching me in the face, a total of 6 times. I’m shocked, but finally throw her into the other side of the taxi. She stops. I am 100% breaking up with her. I tell her that we are over for good and there’s no coming back. She cries for the next 10 minutes to get to her house.

The taxi driver says he’ll wait for me, I grab her keys and after 5 minutes (stupid lock was hard) I get her front door open. I push her in and throw her keys at her and walk away. The whole time she’s talking about having sex with me. The driver has a good talk with me on the way home.

When I get home, I unfriend her and all her friends on Facebook. I turn off my phone, and go to bed. She calls me the next morning (after I woke up and turned my phone on) like nothing happened wanting to go to the birthday party. I remind her we’re over. She cries, not remembering as usual. She asks if we can at least break up while she’s sober and I say we can talk in a week.

One day before we are supposed to meet she had plans with friends for happy hour. She calls me after asking if we could meet that day instead. When she shows up at my house she’s drunk, I can smell the booze. After crying and demanding I hold her, she strips naked and tries to rape me. She was small, it wasn’t happening, but if she was a guy, she would be in jail. The worst part is I never really said my piece. I never went off and yelled at her. This would bother me until I finally had a random hookup months later. I never got over her, no matter how horrible she was because I didn’t get closure myself.

Sometimes life sucks but it does get better. I have found that writing about all of these experiences brings understanding, resolution and closure for me.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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