Should You Break Up? 7 Major Signs It’s Time for You to Leave

If you’re waiting for a sign, this is it.

Growing up, I always thought dating would be the one easy part of life.

Money, travel, jobs, those things were complicated. But dating? Simple. You’d find someone you liked, they’d like you, too, and you’d hang out until you got married. Then you hang out some more, pop out a few kids, and get buried next to each other. The children you had together would stop by once in a while to drop off a few flowers. Not a bad life.

If you’ve dated at all you know real life is basically the same thing, except the person you like doesn’t like you, your house is on fire, you never sleep because of the kids you popped out, neither of you makes enough money to live your dreams, which causes resentment and you didn’t really like each other to begin with, so you hate each other for the rest of your lives and people tell a fake love story at your funerals because they didn’t really know you to begin with. Sound about right?

 

Dating/marriage is never easy. People tend to think that if you just stick together you’ll be okay. But realistically, that isn’t always the case. Being with someone should make you happy. It should give you a support system, an extra leg to stand on.

If you’ve been with someone for any length of time, you’ve probably struggled with this question: How do you know when it’s time to leave?

Here are 7 telltale signs it’s best to go your separate ways and move on.

1. You don’t want the same things.

In any relationship, there will be things that you don’t agree on. But the difference here is lifetime goals.

A big one is having kids: if one partner wants children and the other absolutely hates the idea, this can cause tension in the relationship. If your significant other is set on living their days out in another country or traveling the world and you can’t stand the thought of leaving your family behind, this can become a major problem. These are the big-picture ideas that most people are much less willing to compromise on. Even if someone gives up their lifelong dream to be around you there is no guarantee that they will be content with that choice. Resentment can build, causing cracks in the entire foundation of the relationship.

2. You are constantly trying to make them happy and they don’t reciprocate.

In any kind of relationship, you shouldn’t be the only one putting in the work. It isn’t fair to expect one person to carry the burden of a relationship. Both partners have to be invested for it to work.

If you are the only one doing any sort of gestures, the only one inviting them to hang out, the only one trying to make sure they’re happy, then you’re in for a world of hurt. This kind of relationship usually ends up paining you more than anything and that’s just not sustainable.

3. You’re not interested/invested anymore.

The honest-to-goodness truth is that sometimes feelings fade. It’s tough to admit, but you notice your love fading, despite the fact that you still have a respect for your SO. This is when you have to own up to those feelings and try to do the least damage possible.

You should be honest and tell your partner how you feel (or more accurately how you don’t ). At least this way you’re not leading them on. I know from personal experience that that’s almost harder to take than the actual breakup. Your SO deserves someone who wants them and loves them: if that isn’t you, its time to let them go so they can find someone who truly will.

4. You’re starting to feel like life would be easier without them.

Some people genuinely make your life harder. This is tied back to number two, meaning you shouldn’t be with someone who is asking so much of you and not giving that back, but also to the idea that some people honestly begin to have a negative affect on your life when you date them.

If your SO is begging for extravagant gifts they know you can’t afford, making unfair ultimatums, causing fights left and right, or demanding more than you are able to give, they don’t respect your needs. If you think life would be easier without them, chances are you’re right. Just make sure you make this decision with a clear head and not out of spite.

5. You’re together because you feel obligated to be, not because you want to be.

If you’ve been with someone for years and you’re sick of the relationship, get out of it. If the dinner table is silent or the bedroom lonely, you may have lost that spark.

You can try to fix this by going out of your way to make time for your partner, spending time getting to know each other again, going to counseling. But if nothing works and you’re unhappy, it’s better for everyone to end it than to suffer through just for appearances.

As a child of divorce, with many friends who are also children of divorce, children aren’t a ‘good’ reason to stay in an unhappy marriage. I could write a book on this topic. Everyone deserves to be the happiest they can be. Your children will suffer just as much if not more with two regretting parents than with functional divorced parents.

The point here is that if you’re unhappy, there’s a reason. If you’re trapped in a relationship, I don’t think it really qualifies as a love connection anymore.

6. You aren’t interested in a continuing relationship.

If your partner is expecting this relationship to grow into something more and you don’t see it going anywhere, it’s probably time to cut things off. Leading someone on or letting them believe that they have a chance at a future with you is cruel. Dating casually is also totally normal and acceptable, but if one person doesn’t know that’s what you’re doing, then you’re being unfair to them.

The difference between both people knowing it’s a fun but not serious relationship, and a ‘serious’ relationship you know will never be long-term for you is that your partner has a choice in being involved. If you know, you know. And that’s OK! Just don’t let someone think otherwise.

7. You feel yourself turning into someone you aren’t proud of.

One of the biggest hardships in dating is letting yourself become something you aren’t. It’s easy to slide into a persona of what someone wants you to be, or the ‘ideal’ girlfriend or boyfriend figure. In a good relationship, you should feel comfortable being exactly who you are, with no boundaries. The person you’re with should value you for who you are, flaws and all.

The other problem could fall under this category is that you feel yourself becoming manipulative or aggressive. If you’re becoming that way as the result of a toxic relationship, get out of it and make some time to focus on you. The same goes for if someone is treating you poorly; get out as soon as you can.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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Tales of Rock – 6 Musicians Who Predicted Their Own Death in Song

Everybody dies. That’s no secret. Even you, you’re going to die some day. Accept it. Once you accept it, write a bizarrely specific song that details how exactly you’re going to die, live up to your prediction and voila! You’ll be an entry in a Cracked article, just like these guys.

 

6

Richie Rich feat. Tupac – “Niggas Done Changed”

Let’s just get it out of the way: Nobody knows who the hell Richie Rich is. According to the lyrics of this song, he’s got a hand full of game. For all we know, that is still true. Maybe even a sack full of game by now. We don’t care. The real star of this tune, featured on the Seasoned Veteranalbum, is Tupac Shakur. His verse on “Niggas Done Changed” is the stuff that conspiracy theories are made of.

This probably isn’t the right one.

Unfortunate Lyrics:

“I been shot and murdered, can tell you how it happened word for word, But best believe niggas gon’ get what they deserve.”

What Happened Next:

Pac was shot and murdered, just like he said. The shooting happened on the strip in Vegas after a Mike Tyson fight. Obviously, at a time like that not many people were around, so nobody saw the shooter and the case remains unsolved. Unsolved for most people anyway. Some others are convinced they know exactly what happened. Tupac faked his own death! The logic went as follows: Since Italian philosopher Niccolo Machiavelli advocated faking one’s own death, and Tupac used Makaveli as a stage name, then he must still be alive. That’s shaky reasoning, even before you take into account that the real Machiavelli didn’t actually say much of anything about faking your own death.

If he was dead, could he do this?

But when “Niggas Done Changed” was released less than two months following Tupac’s death, the “Pac’s Still Alive” movement was off and running, and it hasn’t let up since. Group psychology experts contacted by Cracked attribute the movement’s seeming refusal to die (sorry) to the fact that Tupac Shakur has released at least seventy-three studio albums since his death and also to the fact that he’s totally alive, y’all.

 

5

Lynyrd Skynyrd – “That Smell”

Have you ever put a curse on somebody? Like if you came home and found that your roommate ate your leftover Chinese food and you got pissed and told them you hoped it gave them explosive diarrhea and then it actually did and you felt really bad because you didn’t realize your own powers? Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “That Smell” is kind of like that. Except substitute “diarrhea” with “horrible plane crash” (although with a title like “That Smell” it totally could have gone either way).

The song was written to express lead singer Ronnie Van Zant’s disappointment with the lifestyle lead and rhythm guitarist Gary Rossington was leading, as his drug and alcohol problems had started to negatively affect the band. After a verse poking fun at a recent alcohol-fueled car accident Rossington had, Van Zant starts pouring on the ominous.

Unfortunate Lyrics:

“Say you’ll be alright come tomorrow, but tomorrow might not be here for you.” “Angel of darkness upon you.” “The smell of death surrounds you.”

What Happened Next:

On October 20, 1977, just three days after the release of the now unfortunately titled Street Survivors, the plane Lynyrd Skynyrd was traveling in crashed in a forest near Gillsburg, Mississippi. The line “the smell of death surrounds you” took on a whole new ugly meaning after Rossington survived but three bandmates, including Van Zant, perished. As if the song and the album title weren’t enough, thanks to the plane crash, Street Survivors now had, quite possibly, the most inappropriate album cover ever.

Yes, that’s the band and, yes, they are on fire. In the wake of the plane crash, original copies of the album were recalled and replaced with a cover image of the band standing against the completely non-depressing black background. Of course, the fire cover was restored for the deluxe CD reissue of the album in 2008. Like almost every other crime, there is a statute of limitations on bad taste. Apparently, it’s 30 years.

 

4

Jeff Buckley – “Dream Brother”

Jeff Buckley’s “Dream Brother” is said to have been written about a friend who was about to leave his girlfriend and child. In the song, he warns of the sadness to be had by following in the footsteps of Buckley’s father, Tim Buckley. The elder Buckley was a promising young musician who had his career cut short by an accidental heroin overdose. He also walked out on Jeff and his mother shortly after Jeff was born. It’s that last part Buckley is singing about, but he probably should have considered penning a few lines to himself regarding the “musician gone too soon” part. Or, did he?

Unfortunate Lyrics:

“The dark angel he is shuffling in.” “Don’t be like the one who left behind his name.” “Asleep in the sand with the ocean washing over.”

What Happened Next:

We’ve never given relationship advice to a friend that involved any mention of a “dark angel shuffling in,” so we’re not sure how that first line would apply to a dude leaving his girlfriend, though we will concede that the second one fits. But the third? “Asleep in the sand with the ocean washing over,” well, that’s just pretty fucking creepy. Less than three years after the release of “Dream Brother” Buckley died. By drowning. This leads us to an obvious question: “Hey, Jeff Buckley, how about taking your own advice?” We’re guessing the reply would be something like, “Hey, leave me alone you assholes, I’m dead.”

3

Hank Williams – “I’ll Never Get Out of this World Alive”

Immediately, there’s nothing too shocking or particularly insightful about the title of this song. It’s obvious that everyone is going to die at some point. Most of those people, however, won’t crank out a comical tune about it right before they go. Released in 1952, “I’ll Never Get Out Of This World Alive” was the last single Hank Williams released in his lifetime. The lyrics are your standard down-on-your-luck type of stuff. Troublesome, sure, but nothing life threatening going on. But still, there’s that chorus…

Unfortunate Lyrics:

“No matter how I struggle and strive. I’ll never get out of this world alive.”

What Happened Next:

After reportedly struggling and striving, Hank Williams barely made it out of the rest of the year alive. On the morning of January 1st, 1953, just months after the song was released, he was pronounced dead at the Oak Hill Hospital emergency room.

“Doctor, hurry, he’s struggling. And striving! Oh no…”

There is a myth that the song was actually #1 on the Billboard charts at the time of his death, but “I’ll Never Get Out Of This World Alive” actually didn’t reach the top spot until shortly afterhis death. Today, Hank Williams is hailed as an innovator in the field of record promotion for being the first to employ the “Die Young and Sell a Ton of Records” technique.

 

2

John Lennon – “Borrowed Time”

You may not know this, but most posthumously released songs are indeed recorded before the artist dies. Although “Borrowed Time” wasn’t released until four years after the death of John Lennon, it was actually the first song he recorded following a five year exile from the music business. The unnervingly upbeat tune wraps lyrics about the frailty of life around the type of instrumentation you would expect to hear during dinner on a Carnival cruise ship. It was inspired by a Final Destination-like escape from death Lennon pulled off while sailing to Bermuda through an intense storm. An experience like that would probably just inspire us to shit our pants and stop showering. Lennon, on the other hand, was inspired to start rocking again.

Unfortunate Lyrics:

“Living on borrowed time, without a thought for tomorrow”

What Happened Next:

John Lennon was sometimes criticized for not practicing what he preached. Like how he sang about imaging no possessions but lived in a million dollar apartment. You could argue that he totally lived up to the lyrics of “Borrowed Time,” but you’d be a fucking prick for doing so. We only mention that criticism because it was Mark David Chapman’s main beef with John Lennon.

Speaking of beef, holy shit, right? Mooo, right?

Chapman delicately handled this beef by shooting Lennon to death, about six months after the song was written. Hopefully, Lennon practiced what he preached this time and genuinely didn’thave a “thought for tomorrow,” because, unless that thought was “be dead,” he was guaranteed to be pretty disappointed.

 

1

Jimi Hendrix – “The Ballad of Jimi”

In 1965, before most people even knew who he was, Jimi Hendrix entered a New York recording studio and probably weirded out everybody in the room by cutting a new tune about how some dude named Jimi was going to be dead in five years. “The Ballad of Jimi” starts with a declaration from Hendrix that the song is dedicated to the memory of his best friend. That the friend’s name is a guitar player named Jimi is apparently to be chalked up to coincidence.

Hendrix further confuses matters with the line “that is my story” before ratcheting the creepiness up considerably.

Unfortunate Lyrics:

“Many things he would try, For he knew soon he’d die.” “Now Jimi’s gone, he’s not alone. His memory still lives on.” “Five years, this he said. He’s not gone, he’s just dead.”

What Happened Next:

“I’m gonna go over there and die, now.”

Next, Jimi Hendrix suffocated in the most horrible way imaginable that doesn’t involve cock. He choked on his own vomit. Conveniently, for the purpose of this article, he died almost exactly five years after recording “The Ballad of Jimi.” “Five years, this he said. He’s not gone, he’s just dead.”

Disturbing as all fuck, isn’t it? Probably the only reason he didn’t get more specific than that was that nothing rhymes with “choked on vomit.”

 

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