These Are Some of the Most Common First Date Dealbreakers

First dates can be nerve-wracking. What if they don’t look like their picture? What if you can’t think of anything to talk about? People took to a Reddit thread this week to share some of the things they’ve experienced on first dates which immediately turned them off that prospective partner.

“Being constantly on their phone” was one person’s deal-breaker, which seems fair enough; you have the rest of your lives to ignore each other and scroll through Twitter, but the first date is for actually getting to know the person sitting across from you.

Phones came up elsewhere on the thread, too, with one person recalling how a date kept asking them questions about their former relationships, using clues they had gleaned from researching them on social media. While we’re on the subject of phone etiquette: Use an up to date picture in your dating profile, people will notice. And then there was this particularly egregious example: “I glanced over to see a guy arranging a hookup on his phone during a date with me. I was totally floored.” As far as deal-breakers go, “planning to sleep with somebody else while your date is still in the room” is up there.

Being rude to the server is also high up on the list; it’s seen as a red flag and a clue as to what kind of person your date really is. Similarly, one-sided conversations and self-involvement are other common turn-offs, with a number of people expressing frustration at dates who talk about themselves without ever actually asking a question.

There are also, it turns out, people out there who treat first dates as a cheap form of therapy. One person cites “suddenly unloading all their baggage on the first date” as a deal-breaker, adding: “I can’t help you. I’m not looking to get into a relationship with someone who is codependent, I want to date a man who can be a life partner.”

Playing “hard to get” is an instant deal-breaker for a lot of guys, especially when it comes from an outdated, gendered point of view. “Whatever guy told girls that we like them playing ‘hard to get’ needs to be taken behind a tool shed and shot,” one person wrote. “I have never, not once in my entire life, met a guy that liked a girl playing hard to get. Every single man (and a few lesbians) I’ve ever known has complained at least once about “hard to get” being a bunch of bullshit.”

They added: “‘Hard to get’ is also a contributor to many harassment issues. The dumbasses that play hard-to-get are the ones teaching people that ‘no doesn’t mean no’. Anyone that’s ever done this needs to be ashamed of themselves and grow up.”

Other gendered expectations have proven to be less conducive to romance than they might have been in the past; a lot of men don’t like it when a woman expects him to pay, while a few women said it’s the guys who get shirty when they want to pay for themselves. On a related note, expecting or demanding sex at the end of the night, regardless of how well or not the date has gone, isn’t a good look on anyone. These aren’t transactions, people!

 

Author: phicklephilly

Copyright © 2016 by Phicklephilly All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. All stories and characters are based on real people and events. The names and images have been changed to protect their privacy. Comment Rules: Remember what Fonzie was like? Cool. That’s how we’re gonna be — cool. Critical is fine, but if you’re rude, we’ll delete your stuff. Please do not put your URL in the comment text and please use your PERSONAL name or initials and not your business name, as the latter comes off like spam. Have fun and thanks for adding to the conversation!”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s