Chloe – Awkward Coffee Date

So I met a girl on OK Cupid a while back, let’s call her Chloe. Nice lady. Not the most attractive woman in the world, but enough for a date. I message her a bit online, we trade Facebooks and have some pretty intriguing conversations about psychedelics and the human psyche. Our thoughts and our dreams and other cool stuff. I think, wow she’s a deep thinker like me, I bet we are really gonna click!

I ask her out to get some coffee that week so I can bail just in case it gets bad, but fully expect it to go well based on our conversations. Oh my naive heart.

I arrive at the coffee place where we agreed to meet and I take a look in the window. Don’t see her in there. I look around a bit, no doubt coming off as a lost idiot until I notice a girl leaning against the building next door.  There was an overhang so it was darkened (this is like 6pm at night because I work full-time 9-5 mind you) and she steps forward and I recognize it as her.

Red flag number 1. But I shrug it off. Okay it was just a little weird. Nothing too bad. We get in line and I try to strike up casual conversation. She responds kindly, but with as little effort as possible it seems and in very awkward utterances.

We sit down with our drinks and I redouble my efforts, touching on things that sparked conversation before, but it’s almost like she’s a different person as she seems completely apathetic to the entire situation regardless of what I said.

I ask her if there’s something wrong, and she apologizes saying that she smoked a little weed before coming over and was more high than she was expecting to be.

As I continue to try to salvage any conversation at all, I come to realize that she is completely fucking blitzed out of her mind.

Like sink into a couch and not speak for 3 hours blitzed. On a first date. Needless to say, I was very eager to get out of there, and luckily the coffee shop closed at 7.

We said our goodbyes and parted ways. When I got home I had a message from her talking about how she would be starting to sell shrooms soon after getting a connect from her ex-bf in a very not so passive attempt to push on me. Haven’t talked to her since. Fuck. That. Noise.

 

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Author: phicklephilly

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