14 Little Moments That Make You Feel Single AF

The struggle is real.

 

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You’ve accepted the fact that you are single. Nay, you’ve embraced it! You love living the single life and all the bonuses that come with it (You don’t have to share the bed! You can keep your apartment at whatever temperature you want!). However, certain things in life exist solely to remind you of your relationship status. And each one of these instances has left you saying to yourself, “I am single AF.”

1. Getting invited to a wedding and being graciously given a plus-one. But instead, you’re like, “Can I bring a bottle of sauvignon blanc as my plus-one?” You don’t mind going to weddings alone, really, you don’t. But having to send the RSVP card back to the bride with a big fat X over the box for “will be enjoying my tenderloin alone and will also probably die alone while we’re at it” gets more painful and real each time.

2. Bouquet tosses. While we’re on the topic of weddings, why must every wedding do the bouquet toss to the “Single Ladies” song? You used to love that song but now as soon as it comes on, the dance floor parts like the Red Sea and everybody turns and stares at you, the lone single lady who will probably still not catch the bouquet.

3. When your best friend gets a boyfriend. NNNOOOOOOOOooOOoOOooo! R.I.P., Friday night wing woman, Saturday afternoon brunch buddy, and happy hour homie. T’was real while it lasted.

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4. Your kitchen pantry. It’s basically a leaning tower of Easy Mac boxes and approximately nine bottles of wine you’ve stocked up on. And your fridge is full of leftover takeout food that you hold on to so your kitchen appliances don’t look completely empty and barren, like your love life.

5. Recipes that yield two servings. You decide to actually cook for once, but every recipe makes enough food for you and the boyfriend you don’t have. Why, god, why? Is it that hard to make recipes with measurements for single people so you don’t have to be further single-shamed by your penne pasta? The only upside to this is having dinner ready for the rest of the week. Let’s be real, you didn’t have plans anyway.

6. When even what’s-her-name on Facebook gets engaged before you. A new day, a new Facebook notification that everyone except you is happily engaged. Or already married. Or on kid no. 5.

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8. Having to list an emergency contact on forms. Let’s see, there’s that guy you met on Bumble who you’re kind of texting, or your best friend who is now married and pregnant. Or maybe you should jot down your mom’s name for the 50th time. All you really want is to get your eyebrows waxed in peace, dammit.

9. Your mom. She loves to pry and loves reminding you how bad she wants grandkids even more. She says things like, “I’m not gonna live forever, you know,” and, “When I was your age, I was married with two kids!” If ever you’re feeling good about where you are in the single life, don’t go visit your parents.

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10. Family vacations. Your siblings all bring their significant others, but you are flying solo (literally) in a middle seat between a baby who won’t stop crying and an old man who won’t stop snoring. Your parents always encourage you to bring a friend but you respectfully decline because you don’t need their pity.

11. When you find a cockroach or something in your apartment. The only person who can deal with it is you. Same goes for clogged drains and broken toilets. You’re on your own.

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BRAVO

12. Fall. With all the hayrides, apple picking, and new TV show line-ups, fall (aka cuddle season) is a great time for couples. But that doesn’t mean you’ll be sitting around and sulking. You’ll be spending that time prepping your badass Harley Quinn Halloween costume so you can put all the couples’ costumes to shame.

13. Clothes that are hard to put on by yourself. Dresses with hard-to-reach back zippers. Those stupid hook and eye clasps. Super-tight body-con dresses. Theses things are too hard to put on/take off by yourself, so you give up and wear something else instead.

14. Bad dates. You finally decide to go out with someone, only to realize you’d be much happier cuddled up alone on your couch with your mermaid blanket watching The Bachelor with a glass of rosé and a giant tub of hummus than listen to him talk about himself any longer. Being single is better if that’s the alternative.

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BRAVO

 

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Tales of Rock – The Theory of the 13-year Rock vs. Pop cycle – 1951–1963 – Part 1

At first glance, trends and sounds in popular music seem to come at us in random, fractalized bursts. Viewed up close on a day-to-day, week-to-week or even month-to-month basis, that’s how it appears. But if you stand back, patterns begin to emerge, patterns which have held surprisingly together over the last seven decades.

Since rock was born in the 1950s, rock and pop have been locked in a battle for cultural supremacy with each combatant a constant 180 degrees out of phase with the other. When rock is strong and ascendant in the public’s consciousness, pop is on a decline.

Eventually, though, rock tops out and begins a decline as the public’s attention moves towards pop. Then once pop peaks and rock bottoms out, the cycle begins again. This back-and-forth dance has played itself out every 12 or 13 years.

Let me tell you how it’s all gone down.

The First Cycle

While it’s impossible to pin down the birth of rock’n’roll — it was born through a gradual coming together of a dozen sounds and influences — many scholars point to March 3, 1951, with the release of a song called “Rocket 88” by Jackie Brenston and the Delta Cats. This band didn’t really exist. Jackie was the sax player for Ike Turner in his Kings of Rhythm and was thrust into the spotlight for this one recording with Ike and the boys providing backup. The sound, attitude and subject matter of “Rocket 88” make it a prime candidate for being the first true rock’n’roll record.

Even if you don’t subscribe to “Rocket 88” being the first rock record — and there are plenty of reasons not to — we can probably at least agree that something new was in the air by 1951, even if we weren’t calling it “rock’n’roll” yet.

Once loosed upon the earth, this new form of music gathered momentum with the mainstream, peaking with Elvis in 1956. But when he entered the army on March 2, 1958, rock went into a period of decline.

“See? It was all just a fad!” the haters said. “Time to get back to some good music!”

And lo, things were pretty dire for rock through the late 1950s and the early 1960s. The charts were filled with light pop such as Percy Faith’s “Theme from ‘A Summer Place’” and those execrable Sing Along With Mitch albums.

Yet there was still some rebellion in the air, except that it was rather quiet. The folk music boom of the late 1950s and early 1960s — a boom that would eventually result in Bob Dylan — tried to keep things interesting for people who weren’t interested in mainstream music.

 

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