10 Things women should never say to their men

Your man loves you and doesn’t want to hear certain things from you. These are classic.

To keep your relationship healthy and happy, stay away from the following phrases.

Here are 10 things women should never say to their men:

“Man up.” This emasculating phrase is never, ever appropriate. He is a man. If he’s not meeting your expectations, learn to communicate this clearly and without insult.

“We need to talk.” Yes, you should talk to your man. No, you should not warn him that you need to talk about something yet-to-be-described that will likely be uncomfortable. (I hate that one!)

This phrase is the most likely to shift him into defensive mode. Try a more loving approach and you will surely get better results.

“Size doesn’t matter.” If size doesn’t matter, don’t talk about size.

“Is she prettier than me?” Related: “Do I look fat in this?” If the question you’re asking him has only one acceptable answer — and if a too-long pause in responding will only feed your insecurities — just trust that his answer would have been the right one and don’t bother to ask it.

“You’re just like my ex.” Worse: “I’ve had better.” You don’t want to be compared to his exes, so don’t compare him to yours. Even if he comes out on top, it’s still an awkward comparison.

“Are you really that stupid?” Be careful not to use language that emasculates and belittles your guy. Treat him with respect, even when you’re angry or disappointed.

“Never mind. I’ll do it myself.” Don’t dismiss the offers of help from your man. A common love language is acts of service.

Don’t deny him the opportunity to serve you. Sometimes it’s nice to feel needed.

“I can’t live without you.” Use desperate language with caution, and stay clear of phrases that sound clingy in early stages of the relationship.

Let him take the lead when it comes to commitment and promises of a future together.

“I’m not your mother.” Worse: “I’m just like my mother.” Keep your mom(s) out of it, unless you’re actually talking about patterns learned from your respective families of origin.

“Nothing’s wrong.” Yes, it is. He can’t read your mind. If something’s wrong, tell him what’s wrong.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly Facebook: phicklephilly

Michelle – Chapter – 20 – Vanishing

To know who this person is to me you should read her series. (See: Michelle – 2007 to Present – A Brand New Day)

Ever since Michelle left for San Francisco back in 2014 she has stayed in touch with me. She got engaged. Stayed in touch with me. Got married. Stayed in touch with me. This has been going on for years. Anytime she rolls back to the east coast for the holidays we usually meet up even if it’s just for a few hours.

The thing is, her husband doesn’t know any of this.

They were boyfriend and girlfriend since the age of 15. She and Dave broke up back somewhere back around 2005. She needed something more and he liked to smoke weed. She left Delaware and moved to Philly and took a job at a local media company. Around 2007 they were obviously both out of options and were trying to get back together. I rolled into town from New York and killed that little plan. (Read her Series!) After a struggle Michelle became my girlfriend and we moved in together. That lasted a couple of years, and she being 17 years younger than me and turning 30, realized I wasn’t going to marry her or give her kids. So she was out. But she moved 4 blocks away and we hung out as friends every other weekend for another 3 years.

I get a girlfriend, (See: Anabelle 2013 to 2014 – Nice to Meet You) and she drifts back to  Dave after over a decade. He’s grown into the man she hoped he’d become and they’re going to get back together. He now lives in the San Francisco area for a major home remodeling company.

They get back together. She quits her job, and flies to California. They move in together. A year later they’re engaged and a year or so after that they get married. Happily ever after. I’m sure the pitter patter of little feet can’t be far behind.

But all of this time Dave thinks I’m ancient history. But I’m not because Michelle can’t let me go as a friend. She doesn’t want to cut off a dear and beloved friend just because her husband doesn’t get it. But I’ve looked at this from several different perspectives. Marriage is built on trust. If she’s committed to him she should cut me off. I’m fine with it. I had a great time with her. No one can ever take our memories away from us. And now that they’ve been immortalized in cyberspace on this blog. We get to live forever.

I get texts from her every week since 2014! It’s 2018! That’s Michelle staying in touch with me for years. I’m a well kept secret. Michelle is proud of her cunning. She’s technically not doing anything wrong in my book. We’re not sexting or keeping in touch to have an affair. We’re certainly not trying to get back together. We were friends longer than we were lovers and I actually prefer that. Love is sometimes based on lust, romance and passion. Friendship is built on trust, respect and durability. So there’s no funny stuff between us. Just two old friends keeping in touch and knowing what’s going on in each other’s lives.

Every week she checks in. Every week, sometimes several times a week.

 

Then, about a month ago… Radio silence.

 

Just gone. Not a peep for a month.

A few things could have occurred.

Dave found out and put the kibosh on it and they are fighting about it. So I’m cut off for good. I get that.

She’s so busy in her job now that she doesn’t have to fuck around at work and text her little buddy in Philly anymore. I get that too.

Maybe she got pregnant and realized that she needs to focus on her marriage and forthcoming child and shouldn’t be chatting with me anymore. Leave the past in the past.

If anyone reading this has any other suggestions as to what it could be please leave it in comments.

I’ve been GHOSTED!

 

 Have a great week!

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

Instagram: @phicklephilly                  Facebook: phicklephilly