7 Signs Your Partner’s Jealous, Even If You Think They Feel Secure In Your Relationship

Jealousy can strike, from time to time, in a relationship, while at the office, or while scrolling through your social media feeds. Sometimes it can even happen when you weren’t fully aware that jealousy was an issue. If your partner gets jealous on occasion, it can be easy to feel offended and think that they’re overreacting for no reason at all; that the thing that made them feel jealous was completely random. There are some surprising ways you didn’t realize you’re making your partner jealous, however, which means that, while the situation might be completely innocent, their jealousy still might not be as random and out of the blue as you initially thought.

The real reason for their jealousy might be a reflection on them or a result of their past experiences, but that doesn’t necessarily make it all that much easier for you to deal with the fallout that comes from doing something that you know wasn’t something that they needed to be jealous about. Still, if you knew in advance that they were going to feel jealous about a night out with your friends or the fact that you had to work late, you might have been able to talk about it before it happened and maybe, just maybe, avoided the jealousy in the first place, or, at least, know how they might react. Just like you, they’re only human, so knowing what you each might be doing to make the other jealous without even realizing it can be important information to know.

 

1. You Lost Weight

You might think that your weight loss, new gym habit, or healthier eating could only have a positive impact on your relationship, but that might not always be the case. In 2013, researchers from North Carolina State University and the University of Texas at Austin found that in some cases, partners who didn’t lose weight felt “threatened and insecure.” That can lead to breakdowns in communication and feelings of jealousy, resentment, or other conflicts over time.

 

2. You Laughed At Someone Else’s Joke

This happens all the time on TV shows like Friends and Modern Family, and if you take a gander at Reddit boards or Quora, you’ll see that it’s not uncommon for male partners to feel jealous when you laugh at someone else’s joke or say that another guy is funny. You mean nothing by it and don’t even think that they might react to it, but it might not go over all that well.

 

3. You Defended Someone In Front Of Them

Though you might think that defending another person in front of your partner is no big deal — and might actually be kind of admirable — sometimes, well, it might make them feel a little jealous. In an interview with Men’s Health, April Masini, a relationship expert, said that it’s OK to defend or stand up for someone else as long as your partner still knows they’re most important to you. If they think that you’re too supportive of that other person, it could cause some jealousy.

 

4. You Went Out With Your Friends

A 2014 paper published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science noted that when you’re one of the most important people in your partner’s life, spending time with your close friends can make your partner jealous, because they feel as though their role in your life is under attack. Making sure you and your partner both know where you stand can help minimize these insecurities.

 

5. You Spend A Lot Of Time On Social Media

Spending a lot of time on social media, following or being friends with exes, or posting even marginally questionable things online can sometimes make your partner suspicious and jealous. In an interview for the previously-mentioned article from Men’s Health, Dr. Vinita Mehta, Ph.D., a psychotherapist, said that even the smallest online interactions or communication can make your partner think that you might be somehow involved in the other person’s life. That can be difficult for people to come to terms with and occasionally lead to jealousy.

 

6. You Worked Late

Work “spouses” are increasingly common nowadays, and it doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s anything to worry about, but sometimes, knowing that you have coworkers you’re really close to can make your partner question what’s really going on when you stay late at work. In an interview with HuffPost, Ruth Houston, the founder of InfidelityAdvice.com and the author of Is He Cheating On You? said that if you’re hiding parts of your relationship with a coworker from your partner, that’s a sign that you might be crossing a line, so it’s important for you to also reflect on that kind of relationship and how it might be impacting the one you have with your partner. Feelings of jealousy can creep in when your partner is spending so much extra time with their work spouse, but it really might be totally innocent.

 

7. You Took Someone Else’s Side

Your enemies are their enemies, right? Well, if you take someone else’s side in an argument, it can make your partner feel like you’re betraying them, which can lead to jealousy. In a piece that he penned for Psychology Today, Dr. Jesse Marczyk, Ph.D., wrote that relationships can form from feeling like you share a common goal. There could be any number of reasons as to why you took someone else’s side, but all your partner sees is that you didn’t choose them. And that can make them jealous.

 

 

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Sun Stories: Anastasia – The New Number One?

There’s no new number one. I’m tired of all of this drama and titles with all of these beautiful girls that come in the salon. I feel like I’m just creating it all for content.

Anastasia came into the salon one night back in the fall and said she had just relocated to Philly and got a good job. She works for Aramark. One of the biggest super brands in the city. She worked in marketing and shipping. She didn’t seem thrilled with her vocation.

Like any young person she was making her way and happy to have a job after college. Anastasia is 23 years old but acts more mature that most girls her age.

However she loves to tan. I like ladies that like to tan. Because that’s what we do.

She’s pretty and sweet and sociable. I like girls like that. She’s pretty and I love that she does her makeup so she has smoky eyes. I love that. I think it’s my favorite. Maybe I like smoky eyes because I love ethnic women. They naturally have that and it’s so lovely.

Anastasia’s down to Earth and tells me a little about herself. She complains that she goes out with her friends but they always go out so so late and get too drunk. (To me that’s typical early twenty something behavior. It’s just what we did at that age.)

But Anastasia seems a little different. More mature. I like that she has a bunch of gay friends too. That good. She embraces everybody and like me that makes for a balanced existence.

Anastasia really seems like a cool chick and I’m getting great vibes from her. I feel like she is looking to expand her sphere of influence and I suggest we should hang out and get a drink.

I’m taking a risk here, but I’m really good at what I do. I break rule number 3 here at the salon. (You’re available, but you’re not available. If I date a client and fuck it up we lose a client. Not good) I ask her to meet me for a drink sometime. Anastasia is totally down for that.

I love that. She’s beautiful and I really like her. I’m not after her, I just want to spend time with her because she’s a great girl and I love socializing with new good people. (Especially pretty young women)

The heart wants what it wants and I will never stop being who I am. I’ll be seventy and doing this. (If I last that long)

Anastasia comes in a lot and is getting really tan. She looks so beautiful. But Christmas is approaching and she will probably take a break and be with her family and friends.

Holidays are expensive when you’re young and after a while she disappears.

I miss her.

In my fantasy drama I wanted to make her my number one, but if you don’t come in it doesn’t work.

Sasha still holds the title just based on her sheer beauty and my shallow embrace of gorgeous women of little mettle.

The holidays arrive and my dear Anastasia is gone.

I miss her presence.

Months pass.

I actually make the bold move to text Anastasia that she looks a little pale.

She responds that she’s mired in holiday gifting debt and will be back.

I wonder how a girl who loves to tan so much won’t come in. But it’s a financial reason and I get that. Tanning is a luxury product unless you have eczema, seborreah, psoriasis or seasonal affective disorder. Because we will hook you up for that. $100 a session at your doctor’s office for light therapy of five sessions for $40 at our salon. Boom!

 

It’s mid February and beautiful Anastasia suddenly returns.

I am elated to see her. Of course she’s gorgeous with no tan but I know she wants it. She needs it.

I catch up with her. Things are the same at her job. Just corporate bullshit like everybody I know and all of the days I’ve spent in that prison.

She starts to come in everyday again. I love that and I love seeing her again. She’s sitting there in the waiting area in her boots and jeans and I can see her thighs are amazing. I love her. (In a phicklephilly way)

Could she be the new number 1? Bumping Sasha off the pedestal just from sheer number of appearances?

Also there is no way in hell I’m ever meeting Sasha for a drink. She is firmly ensconced in a relationship and is a high maintenance bayba who wants a doorknob sized ring from her man if he wants to marry her.

Sasha is the most beautiful woman who comes in here to me, but she’s a vacuous pretty girl. That’s all. I love beauty and find it hypnotic but Anastasia is the real deal.

It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m sitting in the waiting room with Anastasia.

“What are you doing for Valentine’s Day, Anastasia”?

“I was going to go out to dinner with one of my gay friends but he bailed.”

“Why?”

“He said he didn’t like the food at the restaurant I picked.”

“Where did you pick?”

“Marathon.”

“I love Marathon! Upscale diner with locally farmed great food!”

“I know right? But He’s just being a bitch typical gay dude.”

“Okay.”

“He’s only saying that because he doesn’t feel like going out.”

This tells me on Valentine’s Day that lovely Anastasia doesn’t have a man in her life and has no plan.

 

I put a bunch of kisses in our basket to tell our ladies we loved them on Valentine’s Day.

“What’s your deal, Anastasia.”

“I don’t think I ever want to be in a relationship.”

“Why not, honey?”

“I was in a relationship for two years. Two years ago. He cheated on me. Broke my heart. I like to be alone.”

“I like to alone too.”

“I’m not lovey and kissy and he wanted that all of the time from me. I’m just not that.”

“I’m the same way. I don’t need to be in touch with someone all of the time.”

“Yea. He didn’t like that I wasn’t super attentive and was always texting and on me… you know what I mean?”

“Yea. He was super insecure. They want control and they are usually the ones that cheat.”

“Yea. He cheated on me two years ago. Piece of shit. He actually blamed me for not being so  lovey to him. That’s why he cheated.”

“That’s bullshit. That’s classic insecure piece of shit asshole who worries about his girlfriend and always cheats first. I’ve met all of this assholes..”

“I just don’t think I can ever be in a relationship ever.”

“You’re young. But you’ve learned much, but you may be able to be in a relationship at some point. You have time.”

“I don’t think so.”

This is my Great White Shark/Baby Seal moment.

“Let’s meet for a drink. My man Roman is the god of the bar at Square 1682. Monday?”

“I fucking hate Mondays.”

“Tuesday?”

“Yes.”

“We can drink our faces off and the bill will be $11. It’ll be great.”

“I’m down.”

“I like talking to you.”

“I like talking to you too.”

“I’ll be in tomorrow to tan! I’ll see you then.”

Anastasia is a lovely woman. So mature. I love at 23 she’s willing to meet with me and hang at my favorite spot.

I want to learn about her family and everything. I’m sure my buddy Roman the bartender will enjoy the show.

I really hope this happens next Tuesday.

 

Thank you for reading my blog. Please read, like, comment, and most of all follow Phicklephilly. I publish every day.

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